"Amatonormativity can show up in many ways. We may assume that two people who seem physically and/or verbally close to each other, especially if they are perceived as a boy/man and a girl/woman, are in a romantic relationship, or if they aren’t, that they will be, sooner or later.
It’s also in the words we use when discussing romance, dating, and marriage (which, again, popular culture often suggests is a romantic goal and ideal), like saying someone is “still single,” “doesn’t have a partner yet,” “unmarried,” or that they are “more than just friends” with another person. These terms imply that everyone’s interpersonal life follows a linear narrative: single, dating, engagement, and marriage that ideally lasts for the rest of your life. Other forms of amatonormativity we may be familiar with are:
Encouraging guests to take a “plus-one,” usually defined as a romantic partner, to a wedding or other formal event
Assuming every attraction someone feels towards another person is romantic
Assuming that cisgender, heterosexual people can’t be “just” friends with each other
Thinking that having a romantic partner is the only solution to loneliness, sadness, boredom, financial crisis, or a lack of self-esteem"
T. Aquila, Unveiling Amatonormativity: Notes From the Books and the Field




















