* ᴜɴʀᴀᴠᴇʟɪɴɢ

   Their movements had almost felt synchronized, like an act they had practiced many times to perfect. Except... They hadn’t. They’d fought together once, briefly, and that was it. If they had more time, he might’ve spent it trying to decipher the way it made him feel.

      @THIEFOFCROWS & @FEILIEN

                     Private, selective, mutually exclusive. 21+ only. KAZ BREKKER from the Grishaverse & 劉 LIU 'MATT' 龙之 LONG ZHI, fandomless crime OC. Written by MARS & J.

Hey y'all, a small update / heads up - since Kaz has been hogging this whole blog for months, I decided to put him on his own blog. I'm hoping it'll give the other muses here some breathing room lmao. I'm not going anywhere, my activity here just might lull a bit. Everything's done on his blog except for the interest tracker, so!! Those I have threads with re: Kaz, I'll move to continue those over there. And I'll slide over to check in with y'all that you're cool with that ofc. Kaz will be over here: @thiefofcrows.

/slides in here

Hi, I'm back from vacation ( I miss lots about it already siGHS ), but not sure if I'll get any writing done until the weekend, we'll see. Much love to y'all ♥️

welcome to glitchkingdesigns where i create both free and paid-for resources for the roleplay ( and beyond! ) communities. i take orders for custom resources such as icons, gifs, and theme resources.

payhip

prices

Hey friends, I just wanted to give y'all a heads up since it's right around the corner — I'll be leaving on vacation ( with @athrecs, whom I'm meeting in person for the first time and I'm SO excited!!! ) on SEPTEMBER 12TH and I won't be back until the 27TH. That means during that time, I'm not going to be here and I'm going to be extremely scarce on discord, too, as we're gonna be busy and wanting to give each other our full, undivided attention. I'm going to do my best to reply to as many things as I can that I owe beforehand, in hopes that I won't have to make y'all wait too long, but ya kno. I've still got some last minute preparations ..... and my excitement is all pent up rn so lmao. Thanks so much for your patience and understanding!! ♥️

Hey friends, I just wanted to give y'all a heads up since it's right around the corner — I'll be leaving on vacation ( with @athrecs, whom I'm meeting in person for the first time and I'm SO excited!!! ) on SEPTEMBER 12TH and I won't be back until the 27TH. That means during that time, I'm not going to be here and I'm going to be extremely scarce on discord, too, as we're gonna be busy and wanting to give each other our full, undivided attention. I'm going to do my best to reply to as many things as I can that I owe beforehand, in hopes that I won't have to make y'all wait too long, but ya kno. I've still got some last minute preparations ..... and my excitement is all pent up rn so lmao. Thanks so much for your patience and understanding!! ♥️

"The guards are rotated out like you said."

It was nights like these that she didn't care for her job- or rather one of many nights she didn't care for the work. However, she'd admit only to herself that the beauty in it was being able to roam across the wet rooftops in the dark. That for a moment she could lie to herself and pretend that she was free.

Just a moment only as she leapt from rooftop to gutter pipe before scaling another wall to swing herself under an awning where the unofficial leader of the dreggs laid in wait for her. It was a small crawlspace that didn't lend itself for people of great height, but for her it was ample enough to kneel in with careful movements to not hit her head. Hope burgeoned in her chest, a childish thing as it as, that maybe this would be the night she could sneak up on Kaz again. It was raining with all the saint's fury and Ketterdam had both quieted and gotten louder with the patter, ringing and clanging of rain on every inch of the city and drenching every soul that dared step out into it. It was remarkable to be soaked to the skin now and see Dirtyhands, perfectly dry, laying low on his stomach with a spyglass aimed toward Van Eck's home. What she'd have given to see how he had managed to fit into this crawlspace for the view with his height, but it would have to be left for her imagination as it seemed.

   As always, Kaz could never quite explain how he sensed Inej’s presence when she was near, despite her eerie silence, but he knew she was there before her words reached him. He didn’t give any indication of surprise — he’d known the moment he’d caught the gleam in Inej’s eye that last night at the Menagerie that, despite his warning, she would try to sneak up on him again.

   He’d committed himself to being able to see her, to sense her when no one else could. Kaz listened as she recited the information she’d gathered, his head tilting slightly to indicate she had his attention. A faint smirk curled at his lips — it was just as he’d anticipated.

   ❝If someone had made an attempt to steal something valuable of yours from your own home, but ultimately failed … you’d be paranoid too,❞ said Kaz, his rasped voice containing a clear indication of his satisfaction. He lowered the spyglass and cast Inej a glance — she was nearly soaked through from the rain that beat relentlessly down from the overcast sky. He couldn’t help but track the droplets of water that had fallen from her hood as they slid along the curve of her cheek, along her jaw, lingering at the tip of her nose.

   Kaz pried his eyes away hastily, turning to his other side where he’d stashed something she could use to dry herself off and keep warm. He turned back to her and held out a thick, dark towel for her to take. It was large enough to drape over her entire frame, but … given how tiny Inej was, that wasn’t exactly much of a feat. ❝Here,❞ Kaz turned his gaze back to Van Eck’s house. ❝Don’t need to make a stake out anymore miserable than it already is.❞ There was the faintest hint of a lightness to his tone. A joke, something they’d begun to tentatively test around one another. He let the sound of pattering rain swell between them for a long moment ... then; ❝What’s the easiest way to steal a man’s wallet?❞

There was another voice droned out by the rush of blood in her ears, a shadow stepping next to her and then, the fingers were gone, the dread lifting the second the contact was broken. Shadows still snaked around her wrists, tieing her down. Inej knew there was a conversation going on, Heleen prowling like a tiger, the taller shadow looming angrily at her side putting space between herself and the owner of the menagerie.

"I was wondering when Mister Brekker would send you my way"

The sneered words still rang through her mind as doubt and terror and the sense of quiet that her mind tried to regain all fought for control. It was impossibe and Inej thought her mind might burst as Heleen finally turned to move and a face turned towards her.

Kaz, Inej realized wiht a start. He'd found her despite the allegations and he was trying to talk to her. The velocity of her name from her lips made her flinch back as sound and sensation returned, too fast, too bright, too loud and all at once. Her feet moved to bring a distance between her and anything else around, ready to run and climb up the next building, back to the rooftops where she would be safe.

"I'm fine." Inej answered, her voice carefully collected to mask the terror still creeping up her spine. Weakness was not useful and she had too much pride to admit just how much Heleen terrified her still. "Thank you for interviening on my behalf. I was going to shove a knive between her ribs, but that wouldn't have done your deal any good." Her voice was harder then intended, but Inej was angry.

Angry about their fight and angry that Heleen had managed to rattle the doubts again. A small voice nagging on about how if Kaz could cut her out simply for having morals and conviction left that he could just as easily send her back to the Menagerie. Promises weren't buisness and Kaz and her were not love stricken sweethearts playing house. He wasn't here on her behalf, simply to check on his investment.

   Something twisted painfully in Kaz's chest, the sensation abrupt and unwelcome as Inej backed away from him. He knew it was the result of returning from that thousand yard stare, where suddenly things were too fast, too loud — just too much. It didn't ease the feeling, no matter how stupid he thought it was. However, her words were much worse and he clenched his jaw, lips pressing into a hard line.

   Kaz dropped his gaze when Inej shifted her attention to the hairpin ... and then she'd taken it and simply turned to walk away without another word. It was around the campfire all over again — his eyes closed tightly and he exhaled through his nose, frustrated with himself and with her. He looked up to see her leaving.

   ❝I didn't mean what I said,❞ Kaz called after Inej, speaking to her retreating back, like a coward. Just like before, she slowed to a stop, but this time she did not turn, nor did she answer him. She wanted more than that. She always wanted more than that and he kept trying to give it to her, trying to meet her challenges despite the fact that he had no business doing so. ❝You're not the only one fighting their worst nightmare, Inej.❞

   He wanted to tell her the rest, but the words simply wouldn’t come. Kaz had never spoken about his past aloud to anyone — it was terrifying to admit such a thing, to hand someone the knife that could pierce through him as easily as cutting through butter. Kaz had trusted her with his life, he now knew for sure that he could, but … it was a completely different thing to trust her with his shame. It had gnawed at him constantly since they’d returned, a sickening mix of shame and pure black rage. He was having difficulty seeing beyond it.

   He limped towards her, his cane clacking against the cobblestones until he reached her side, turning to partially face her. She was angry and no doubt afraid — she could strive to hide it all she liked, but considering he’d spent so much of their time together studying her, striving to understand the meaning behind each movement, each infliction of her speech, every breath ... Kaz knew her, he couldn’t help it if he’d tried.

   ❝I do trust you, and I …❞ He swallowed thickly and his gaze dropped to his leather clad hands as they sought out the comfort that stroking the crows head of his cane could offer. Anxiety was tearing through him like wildfire and, when he again found his voice, it contained a slight waver . ❝I don’t want to do this without you.❞

 Out of all the things Long Zhi had expected to happen after this rather rude invasion of privacy, an offer of steady work and moreover an invitation to a meal had been the very last things. It almost sounded too good to be true — and if he’d learned one thing here in Ketterdam, it was that it usually was. Crime was running rampant, especially in these parts here and... There was a good chance he might end up with less than he left with, if not dead somewhere in a canal. And who knew what would happen before that.

 But… Despite his suspicions and wariness, he felt compelled to at least sheathe his knives. He had to make a decision, and he had to make it fast; the other made it fairly obvious that patience wasn’t his strong suit. So either Long Zhi denied this potential opportunity and continued to struggle in a hostile city, hardly knowing if he’d be eating that night or not, or he took his chances of either ending up dead, or indeed with steady work and therefore income. In the end, the decision was easy to make… Death lurked around every corner either way.

 So he followed, grabbing his coat along the way and closing the door behind him, briefly wondering if it may well be for the very last time.

 The threat was met with little more than a raise of his eyebrows, as Long Zhi buttoned up his coat while also trying to keep a slower pace than he usually would. The use of the other’s cane, it seemed, wasn’t just for show. “Does that usually work? The threats, I mean. Fairly uncreative. I’ve heard worse. But if they work...” Shrugging his shoulders, he studied the other from behind, still trying to make sense of everything that was happening. There was... something about him. He didn't seem like just another one of the countless petty criminals or gang members. Though he couldn't quite tell if that put him at ease, or more on edge.

 “Besides… You can’t blame me for being on guard. Ketterdam is… weird, but not generally ‘suddenly having someone looking like death standing in your doorway’ weird. You still haven’t told me how you found me.. or who you are. Or does that have to wait until we're sitting somewhere, too?”

   ❝I don’t blame you, this time — that’s why you’re still breathing. Next time, you won’t be so lucky,❞ said Kaz, his tone a mix of dismissive and mildly irritated, as he’d clearly decided to ignore the other’s question for the moment— his talk of creativity reminded him of what those from Per Haskell’s time would say, as they’d sit around reliving their glory days aloud to anyone within earshot. Ridiculous rules and ways of doing things, as if anyone who wanted someone gone, or simply wanted to find a way to hurt them, would abide by any set of rules.

   ❝This isn’t some kind of game where you get points for whoever can come up with the most outlandish sounding threats. Someone stabbing you to death is far from creative, but if they threaten you with it and then act on it … you’d still be dead, wouldn’t you? Sounds like it works just fine.❞

   As they made their way down the stairs, a gradual hush swept through the room — people spoke quietly, their body language changed. Tension and fear were the most prevalent, but there was an undercurrent of reverence that Kaz always particularly relished in. Thus, it was … unusual that he had to actually introduce himself. He’d always been recognized on sight and it had become even more frequent with his success and his rise to power in the Barrel.

   Kaz cast another cool glance at the other over his shoulder. ❝Kaz Brekker. And, assuming you’ll take the job, you’ll find out how I found you soon enough.❞ They reached the ground floor and, as they approached the front door, people seemed to know better than to get in Kaz’s way.

 He lead them to a diner that seemed as though it were squeezed in-between the two surrounding buildings. It was a small place — unassuming, easy to dismiss for those who didn’t know the city — but the food was excellent. It was only after they were settled and food had been ordered that Kaz deemed it a good enough time to start talking.

   ❝What I need is a new spy,❞ he said. ❝You clearly have useful skills for the task — but there’s a lot you’ll have to learn to do the job as effectively as possible. The Dregs are my gang. You accept the job, you take the tattoo and become one of us. Any move against you risks retaliation from The Dregs.❞ For now, Kaz intended to give as little detail about what the job entailed as possible, but enough to dangle appealing bait. If what he suspected was true, having some kind of protection, some backing would be especially appealing to him — but, Kaz was not about to offer protection blindly.

   Whatever trouble this guy was in, he needed to know what it was. ❝I don’t know what it is you’re running from, but … you don’t avoid giving the same name twice unless you’re running from something. Or someone. If there’s something snapping at your heels, I need to know what it is.❞

Her breath followed the shiver, breathing deep. Eyes flickered towards the door. Just in case the small creak had been more than the wind outside, but it remained closed, still, vigilance lay in their nature now and Kaz had his back turned towards her. It was her turn to protect them both.

I couldn't if I tried The words felt warm and secure, feelings still new and foreign to Inej. She needed to remind herself that this time it wasn't just words Kaz blew into the wind to smooth over an argument or to dismiss her back to her tasks. This was them trying and trusting each other with the care of their, very vulnerable, hearts. Still, Inej decided, she wouldn't continue the conversation. They said their peace each and now held confessions close to their heart. Confessions that would still be there tomorrow and the day after, for as long as they would survive.

The silence stretched on, her eyelids drifted downwards, resting comfortably as the steady movement of Kaz's finger started to lure her to sleep, but then the familiar rasp of his voice brought her back and she watched his face through half lidded eyes, too comfortable to do much more.

"You stole Titanium with the Prince of Ravka?" Inej asked, her voice tinged with a little surprise. "You really were busy while I'm gone. I thought you'd put the life of heists behind you, Kaz Brekker and we're waiting to be buried by the weight of your own gold." Inej teased, her own voice thick with exhaustion but clearly amused. Though the unspoken question that was once answered with this retort still lingered somewhere between them. Yes. There had been another dream. This. Them. And finally IMEI was able to admit it to herself. This was the answer she had hoped for. It just took them a little longer to be able to admit it.

"The prince of Ravka is greatly in your dept then. I was part of a blockade to protect Ravka from the Fjerdan fleet. This might be connected." Inej sighed, turning their hands over a little and moving a little closer. She could hear the way his tone changed. His eyes unfocused and mind drifting just a little further away. She wanted to let him feel her presence, comfort him with the thought that she was here and wouldn't leave him again just like that. But Inej knew the ache of missing their group. Their friends. The Crows as they'd been dubbed. An inner circle within the Dregs so to speak. A little crew of their own. They would never be whole again, not with Matthias gone.

Inej touched her free hand to her heart, then her head as she sent a prayer for him into the universe. She missed Nina and Jesper and Wylan dearly too.

"You have a short cut?" This time she wasn't surprised. "You couldn't stop Jes from breaking the law even if you tried. He is a horrible gambler, but an excellent friend. He would do anything for you Kaz even if you didn't ask." Her voice was warm and tired and comfortable. "But I'm not ready to see them just now." She wanted to enjoy this, being with Kaz, the two of them learning how to be around the other again and how to navigate the vulnerability that came with it.

   ❝I'm a thief, Inej,❞ intersected Kaz, brows quirking upward pointedly as that crooked smirk bloomed across his features. ❝I always will be.❞ He would always crave another puzzle to solve, another heist to accomplish — and what he'd done for Lantsov had been a piece of cake in comparison to the Ice Court.

   Well ... save for the monster he'd witnessed. He'd wracked his brain trying to figure out the how of it until he'd given in and picked Lantsov's brain about it. Even now, he still didn't know what to make of the story he'd been told, how it had unsettled him deep into his bones, but ... now was not the time to let his mind wander down that particular rabbit hole.

   She was right about Jesper, of course, this he knew. But it didn't prevent the ache that coursed through his chest. He knew that there was little Jesper wouldn't do for him. He often used it to his advantage, to drag him into Kaz's schemes ... and if he were being honest with himself, it was because he deeply missed the brother he'd found after losing his blood born one. He missed Wylan, too — he missed hearing Jesper and Wylan tease each other back and forth, even though he actively pretended that it got on his nerves. He offered a simple nod to her words, his gaze still fixed on their hands.

   Kaz's dark brows briefly tensed with curiosity, his eyes flickering back up to search her gaze, as if he could find the answer tucked away there. Despite the gentle sound of her voice as she'd spoken, there was a clear undercurrent of command in it, no room for argument — in his perspective, anyway. Just like in the church when she'd praised him, he felt his face warm and he swallowed thickly as his mouth suddenly felt a little dry.

   He shifted to do as she asked, however, already missing the ability to just ... let his gaze roam over her features openly. Before, it had always been sneaking long glances, stealing details of her that did not belong to him, that he did not deserve to hoard in his mind, but he did so anyway. He no longer needed to steal that which she offered to him openly now — and, to his surprise, she seemed to take her own fill of his in return.

   He understood what she'd intended seconds after her warning — Tell me to stop if it's too much. Inej curled herself against him, the skin of her forehead resting against the nape of his neck, partially meeting some of his bare skin in turn. Kaz couldn't have suppressed the shiver that coursed through his body if he'd tried. That part of him hadn't been touched by anyone else in an incredibly long time — he couldn't even remember when the last time was, aside from perhaps a fuzzy memory of Jordie curling his hand there as they stood side by side, as an older brother would.

   The water sloshed menacingly and he closed his eyes tightly for a long moment, breathing through the slight lurch of nausea that followed. He could feel every minuscule point of contact between them, almost as if he were hyper-aware of it. Inej was essentially snuggling up to him and he forced himself to imagine it, even if he couldn't see her. His thumb pressed more firmly against the inside of her wrist, seeking out her heartbeat. One-two. Three-four. Five-six. Kaz wasn't trapped on Reapers Barge, surrounded by water and rotting flesh. He was safe and sound in his bed, and the girl he'd loved for years was curled against him, speaking words that made his heart race. I'm not ready to share yet.

   He let out a long, quiet breath and any tension that had wound its way throughout his body gradually melted out of him as he sought out what he needed to ground himself in reality. The water slowly receded and Kaz gently squeezed Inej's hand before he shifted slightly, guiding her arm to drape around him. Then, he tilted forward as he brought their hands close to his mouth.

   With a slow, tender deliberation, Kaz brushed his lips against the back of Inej's hand, giving her the time to anticipate his intention ... and then he pressed a lingering kiss there. Another small shiver snaked up his spine at the feeling of her skin against his lips, but ... it was nice. ❝Me neither,❞ he conceded, his mouth briefly grazing against her skin before he finally lowered their arms and curled them against his chest.

   When was the last time he'd been actually held by someone? Or the last time he'd held someone else, where it wasn't because of a life and death situation? Once again, it had to have been Jordie, but ... it was so long ago now that Kaz could scarcely remember. He gradually began to melt into her, a foreign sense of peace and comfort draping over him — again, it made him anxious, afraid that if he gave into it, he'd be leaving them both vulnerable.

   He was the one facing the door now, so it was his responsibility to watch over them both. He was someone she could depend on, to keep her safe — but they already were safe, he reminded himself. ❝I ... can't remember the last time ... anyone touched me this much,❞ Kaz admitted quietly, although he wasn't even sure if Inej was still awake or not. He let his eyes flutter closed and he exhaled slowly through his nose. ❝... it's nice.❞

 Life had been nothing but a challenge, a struggle, ever since arriving in Ketterdam as a stowaway on a ship that had left Shu Han days — or had it been weeks? — before. With no money to speak of, Long Zhi had spent the first few days sleeping on the streets and eating whatever scraps he could find. A far cry from his previous, what he now realized had been a spoiled, life. It hadn’t been for a lack of trying, of course. He’d spent all day every day trying to find good, honest work, but no one would give him a chance. He didn’t understand why at first, but eventually it started to sink in that it was because of what he was — not Grisha (something he’d learned the hard way to keep secret back at home), but Shu Han. They didn’t care too much for his kind around here.

 Eventually, his stomach began hurting so bad, that he saw no other choice but to steal. He’d tried his hands a couple of times at some of the market stalls and got away with it. An apple here, a small loaf of bread there. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to keep the pain at bay for a while. But the weaker he could feel himself become, the more the desperation grew. Enough to force his hand. The first few times Long Zhi was successful, until he wasn’t. He was caught in the middle of cutting someone’s coin pouch loose and ended up with the barrel of a gun pressed to his forehead. He was too taken aback to react that time, and ended up simply fleeing and disappearing by climbing up the side of a house.

 From then on he made it a habit to traverse the city by rooftops, rather than streets, and had his trusty knives — the only thing he brought with him across the sea — at the ready when he was once again caught. He’d never liked hurting or killing people, but it was about survival now; it was either them, or him. And while it seemed as though he now had very little to live for, he was by no means done living just yet.

 Somehow, Long Zhi developed a bit of a reputation along the way. Enough to find some unsavoury work, anyway. Life finally seemed a bit easier — at least until some of his grandfather’s men found him. But running in pure survival mode now, they were quickly taken care of, their bodies dumped into one of the many canals, and Liu Long Zhi simply ceased to exist. He became the boy of many names, never using the same one twice.

 It served him well enough. Enough, at least, to afford a shitty roof over his head, and enough food to stop him from losing any more weight. It wasn’t much of a life, but at least it was his own.

 He’d just gotten back from buying some food from a nearby stall – what exactly it was, he didn’t know — and had been so excited to eat that he’d simply kicked open his door and had forgotten to close it behind him. So his heart nearly jumped out of his chest when he heard the knocks, and the bowl of food now lay shattered among the remains of his precious food on the ground. But there was no time to mourn the loss, and he instead jumped up, both hands armed with his two favourite knives.

 A moment passed, then another. But whoever it was that had entered the tiny room didn’t make a move. So Long Zhi allowed himself to relax, at least enough to lower his arms for the time being. “You’re offering me steady work?” Although he could speak Kerch — it had been part of his many different lessons when he was younger — it was heavily accented, making it impossible to hide where he was from even if it wasn’t so blatantly obvious in his looks. “And you decided to make a house call for that?” A pause. Then realization. “How do you know where I live? No, wait. Who the fuck are you?”

   Kaz had expected some kind of hypervigilant reaction, of course — after all, he’d been in similar circumstances for most of his life until he’d begun to rebuild the reputation of the Dregs, to craft his own reputation. He remembered the desperation vividly, as he always would. It was a raw thing that filled you with a terror so deep, you didn’t know if you could ever live your life without feeling the threat of it lingering, ready to drown you.

   The moment he caught a glimpse of the knives, aimed at him, he tilted his head back slightly, thin lips pressing into a hard line. He glanced behind the man — they looked essentially the same age, he noted distantly — to see the food he’d procured, now inedible, splattered across the dirty wooden floorboards.

   Softening things with offering a meal had already been a part of Kaz’s plan in the first place, so now he suspected it would be far more effective. A lucky accident, but he’d gladly snatch the opportunity as well as take credit for it.

   He cocked his head to the side as he again met the other’s gaze, one dark brow arching higher than the other. ❝This conversation would be better served over a full stomach, wouldn’t you agree? ❞ While it was phrased as a question, Kaz didn’t wait for an answer.

   ❝You come with me, you get a free meal and the opportunity to keep from going hungry afterwards,❞ he cast another pointed glance at the mess on the floor, then back to meet the other’s eyes again. ❝Or, I’ll leave by myself and you can try to salvage whatever’s left of that off the floor.❞

   He did wait this time and, as he’d expected, the man sheathed his daggers. Kaz nodded once and turned to make another painful trek back the way he'd come, expecting the other to follow. ❝Oh, and by the way,❞ he said, casting a glance at him over his shoulder as he limped towards the stairs. ❝Don’t point those knives at me again, or I’ll make you swallow them.❞