Don't Run Away

The next day, you woke up from a text from yours truly telling you that the girl he was texting ages ago finally got back to him. They were going on a date this weekend.

Your mind went through different thoughts in a span of one minute:

Were the two of you that drunk yesterday? If that was the case, you would have a hangover. And Seungyoun? You were sure he was too busy making Hangyul drunk to drink himself.

Were you just dreaming? No, your hair definitely smelled of rain water and you could still almost feel Seungyoun’s strong arms around your waist.

Then, what the hell was this?

As if answering your thoughts, Seungyoun sends another text message.

younie: I smell like sewage right now. What even happened last night.

And with that one text message, you were brought back to the reality of romantic relationships in your twenties.

Romance was dead and so were your feelings.

NOT my best friend: Dumbass, how am I suppose to know.

“I can’t believe you did that.” Woohyun was currently hovering over Seungyoun on the couch as Seungyoun holds his phone out of his reach. Woohyun gets up and dusts himself off. “Have fun being lonely. I’m rooting for Hangyul.”

“Wait, Woohyun.” Seungyoun also gets up from his couch. “I’m sorry. I just, I can’t do it.”

“Seungyoun, what do you mean, you can’t?” Woohyun says trying to keep calm. Him and the guys did the most to get Seungyoun to realize his feelings, but when he actually does, it backfires.

“I don’t want to mess us up.” Seungyoun says, avoiding Woohyun’s gaze.

“You know the feeling is mutual, so why?” Woohyun asks.

Seungyoun takes out a few crinkled pieces of paper from the small trash in his studio. He takes the first crumple piece of paper and hands it to Woohyun.

Woohyun looks at Seungyoun weirdly before unfolding it and reading his chicken scratch writing.

I wish you happiness

It's okay if it's not me

I don't think I'm good enough for you

We're so different

Woohyun takes the rest of the crinkled papers and unfolds them.

Tell me you're tired of me

Tell me you're seeing someone else

For me, even just a little bit

To hate you, just lie to me

Woohyun stops reading and crumples the paper into its original state, “This is different from the last time. You know it.”

“We’ve been best friends for years. I just can’t risk that.” Seungyoun looks down, his fringe hiding his eyes.

And Woohyun could not think of a comeback with Seungyoun looking like he already lost the most precious thing in his life.

“You know, its true what they say about musicians. You are all creative, crazy messes.” Woohyun says with a huge sigh.

Which brings us to the first thing everyone now knows: 1) Seungyoun, for a fact, has slight commitment issues.

A week passes by after the night with Seungyoun. You try your best to avoid him, but he stuck to you like nothing had happened. Sure, it was only the alcohol that made him do it and the reason why he could not remember. But, he should take some sort of responsibility, right?

The day of his date with the girl, you went to a library to study for your classes, but the silence was worse. It only made your sad thoughts louder. Letting out a deep sigh, you run your fingers through your hair and leave the quiet room.

“Hey!” Before you could start walking down the staircase to the lobby, a familiar voice calls your name.

You close your eyes. You knew exactly who it was and he was probably the second person you did not want to run into. Quickly changing your expression into a neutral one, you turn around to him, “Hey, Hangyul.”

Long story, short: You and Hangyul did go on a date. You actually had more fun than you thought and he said he would call you back, but never did. When he did end up calling you for a second date, the two of you still had unfinished business. Seungyoun crashed your second date before the two of you could talk about it.

Hangyul scratches the back of his neck, a habit of his whenever he felt uneasy. Your fake expression was apparent to his eyes, “Do you want to go to a cafe? I hated the silence in that library.”

You said yes and maybe it was the fact you wanted to show up Seungyoun for being on a date. Or, it might have been that you believed Hangyul was a nice, decent guy so he deserved some sort of explanation.

“I just wanted to say sorry for everything.” Hangyul says with a soft smile.

“Sorry about what?” The warm tea hits your throat and it calms your nerves.

“Sorry about not calling you when I said I would.”

You let out a petty laugh, “So you did know.”

Hangyul moves in closer, “Of course, I did. I was just confused and needed time to think.”

You purse your lips, “Well, I’m sorry for taking Seungyoun along on our second date.” You look down at your cup of tea.

Hangyul plays with the straw of his smoothie, unsure of what to say.

“It was a dumb decision.” You add.

“Did something happen?” Hangyul carefully asks.

You shrug, not wanting to think about it, still looking down.

Hangyul takes a deep breath and lowers his head so he was in your peripheral view, “Hey, to be honest, I wasn’t sure if you were actually available.”

You are forced to return his gaze, his face a little closer than a few minutes ago, “What do you mean?”

“I know you don’t have a boyfriend.” Hangyul was now staring at you intently with a soft expression, “But, on our first date, it didn’t seem like you were emotionally available.”

And that’s exactly what everyone thought: 2) No one else was really good enough for you, but him.

The guy with cute dimples? You preferred adorable rabbit teeth. The talented vocalist? A high-toned voice with the duality of IU’s ballads and Flowsik’s rapping was more your genre. The possible future president of the country? How about the person who you trust all your secrets, dreams, and inside jokes with?

As exaggerated as it was, Seungyoun just started to infiltrate your mind with no invitation.

You gulp and slowly nod your head, “Sorry, Hangyul.”

Hangyul feels a heavy weight lifted from his shoulders and he gives you an assuring smile, “We’re good.” He pats the side of your head.

You return his smile, feeling ten times better.

"I’m not sure what happened with you and Seungyoun, but if you want, I’m meeting with him later with the guys. Maybe you want to come?”

Your ears perk up at hearing his name, “Wait, Seungyoun is hanging out with you later?”

“Yeah, Seungyoun and some other people from the Taekwondo club.”

‘What about his date?’ You think. ‘Did that brat lie to me?’ You add. Did you not just have a small monologue on how great he was?

Hangyul calls out your name.

You snap back to reality, “Oh sorry, why don’t you text me the address and I’ll meet you there?”

The night was a little colder when it was predicted to be a warm summer night. Mercury was in retrograde or something along the lines of a pseudoscience explanation. 3) Everyone just knew it was going to be an interesting night.

“You like to hurt your own feelings?” Dohyun scratches his head.

“Masochism. Its called masochism.”

“Yohan, shut it. Don’t teach him that.” Hangyul rubbed his temples.

“Well, at least you’re better off than Seungyoun. He didn’t even give closure. He completely made his whole friendship awkward as hell.”

Hangyul blows out air from his nostrils. He wanted to keep it a secret and was not planning on inviting you to see Seungyoun. It was his chance to ask you out for a third date. But, taking advantage of your vulnerable state was the last thing he wanted to do.

Yohan hands Hangyul his black jacket, “Here, buddy. At least look cool while setting up the two idiots.”

Hangyul turns to Dohyon, “Don’t you dare learn from Yohan.” Hangyul moves closer to whisper in Yohan’s ear, “Yohan thinks he’s some sex god.”

Yohan has an appalled and disgusted look on his face, “A dude grinds on the floor one time and automatically becomes the icon of greasiness.”

Hangyul receives a text message alert and stops their conversation.

soju girl: Hey, I’m already here. My phone’s on vibrate so just text me when you get here! Too loud to take a call :(

“Lets go, idiot three.” Yohan puts his arms around Hangyul.

hangyul: see you soon

You bite down on your bottom lip and pull down on the short black dress that you wished did not sacrifice to cover either your chest or thighs. It was one or the other. You furiously shake your head to get some sense in you, “I need a drink.” Or not.

One drink turned into two, then three, then four and it all went downhill from there. The last sober thought you had was the fact that you could change your social media addiction and put your energy in making a blog about the wonders of alcohol.

“Close her tab.” you hear a voice and the person has reached over the counter. That was weird because you only conditioned yourself to listen to one specific voice through a loud bass of music.

“Oh? Its my best friend, Cho Seungyoun.” your voice slurs and you see he is confused because he can’t hear anything through the music and you made no effort to talk over them music. Seungyoun quickly scans your state and has you wear his oversized bomber jacket. You do not put up a fight while he quickly zips up the jacket. “Am I your date for tonight?” You say with no energy or volume.

Seungyoun gets to eye level with you and smiles, “Lets go.” He mouths.

The unapologetic smile, his eyes that assured you that your were safe, and his eyebrows that drooped in worry made you furious. The alcohol spoke and made the decision for you, “Fuck that.” You push him away and stagger through the dance floor.

And Seungyoun never felt so awkward trying to keep you away from other people on the dance floor while still remaining a sinful centimeter away from you and that miniature piece of fabric people called a dress.

His eyes darted around to catch the glimpses of other people on the dance floor to make sure they knew you were with him. Just when he thought people were getting the hint, a stranger attaches himself behind you.

He quickly snakes his hand around your waist and pulls you into a secure hold, turning your whole body like a tango move.

You continue to shamelessly dance, not giving a two coins because all you could see are the blurry lights, your mind was still buzzed, and whose ever arm was around you felt too good.

No matter how much he tried, there was only one answer to your shenanigans.

If you can’t beat them, join ‘em.

Seungyoun brings you into his chest as close as humanely possible and lays his hands on your hips as you two dance. He can only catch glimpses of your face, but when he did see you through the club lights, the look on your face got to him.

Your eyes were no longer the awake eyes that he could see from a distance away. Your eyes were half-lidded and seductive. Your baby hairs stuck to the side of your face and your cheeks flushed pink.

Then, Seungyoun’s ears were blocked as if he had water stuck in them. Your mouth was moving, but he could not understand what was happening anymore. The loud bass drowns out any reasonable thoughts.

Seungyoun did not drink any alcohol that night.

But, he got the same sweet alcohol on the tip of your tongue and caught the same alcohol buzz.

When Hangyul left the club that night and did not get to see you or Seungyoun, it was already a given: 4) The literal climax of the story that everyone would know of.

By the time you were all partied out and the two of you got to his apartment, the alcohol high wore off, but neither of Seungyoun’s or your hormones did.

The conversation was said through messy kisses, but it went something along the lines of Seungyoun apologizing for being a coward and a liar. Then, you try to say something back, but whatever he was doing down there did not help you form a coherent thought.

It was the climax that happened in Seungyoun’s small studio, both emotionally and physically.

Finally, it was the scene before everything fell into place. At least, as much as reality allowed you to.

“That dress wasn’t going to cover anything.” It was the morning after and you did not wake up glamorously. It was a good thing Seungyoun always saw you like that and nothing about his feelings changed. He laid on the couch and watched you find your stuff that was lost in the hurricane.

“Yeah, but your sweater will.” You quickly slip into it a sweater that he left hanging on his chair and Seungyoun curses in his mind for being weak to the cold.

“Wanna get breakfast?” Seungyoun sits up and also looks around for his lost t-shirt.

“Not like this.”

“I can pick something up from the convenience store.” Seungyoun finally finds his clothing piled up on the side of the couch.

You two only had to be apart for ten minutes, but Seungyoun was running back from the store like he left a stove on.

Also, you had no idea what you were getting yourself into until Seungyoun drops the food on his small desk and starts to make his way towards you. Alert, you hold him back with one finger, which stops him for a grueling second until he picks you up like a bride and lays you down on the couch.

You always thought Seungyoun looked like a rabbit with his two front teeth. Now, he looks like a tiger creeping up on his pray (read: you). You were quickly reminded Seungyoun was actually a bear because he pulls you into a warm hug as the two of you lay on his couch.

“There’s not enough space, so we have to stick as close a possible.” Seungyoun is breathing down your neck and you were not sure if it was on purpose.

You stir in his arms and he looks at you.

The images of you two playing tongue hockey in the middle of the dance floor flashes through your mind and you wanted to dig a tunnel into the couch because this time, he was there to remember it.

Seungyoun bit back a silly smile.

“Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything?” He says with a smirk.

“Hey, we can’t tell anyone.” You are talking to his chest because you could not bear to look at him without being reminded of last night.

“Why not?” Seungyoun, on the other hand, had no shame and kept his eyes on you. “I swear, I was going to post this on my story.”

“Seungyoun!”

He gives you his cheeky, smiling eyes and presses his forehead on yours, “I’m sure every already knows.”

“That’s a little bit T.M.I, no?” You ask him.

“Not with them. They know everything.”

The two of you look at each other both thinking that everyone was weirdly invested in the two of you getting together. You and Seungyoun laugh knowing the same thought went through your head.

“I like you so much.” Seungyoun unconsciously says.

“I like you too.” You say making random shapes with your fingers on his chest. “Hey, um.” You finally muster up the courage to look at him.

“Yeah?” Seungyoun gives you his full attention.

You gather your arms and push him off the couch, “I’m hungry.”

Even if you were not hungry, Seungyoun’s scent was getting to your head and all the red flags went off.

He didn’t have to know that, though.

Months pass and you two are still together and annoying.

“Can you not?” You step on Seungyoun’s foot under the table.

“What?” Seungyoun moves his hand closer to your inner thigh, but you swat his hand off.

“Can you two just stay in Seungyoun’s studio? Forever.” Wooseok pretends to barf.

“We would, but the AC is broken.” Seungyoun shrugs.

You smack him on the side of his head.

“I don’t even want to sit on that damn couch now.” Seungwoo slowly shakes his head.

“Maybe it was better for you two to stay single.” Yohan taps on the table.

“Hey, I’m all for that.” Hangyul chuckles as he opens a bag of chips.

Seungyoun’s neck almost breaks turning to Hangyul, “If you eat chips like that, your fingers are going to stain.”

“Well, I’m gonna eat it with chopsticks.” Hangyul retorts.

“Where are the chopsticks, genius?” Seungyoun mocks Hangyul’s matter-of-fact tone.

Hangyul’s eye darts back and forth, until he sees you slipping him the chopsticks. “Here.”

Seungyoun makes a face at you, “Whose side are you on?”

You give him a chaste kiss and the self-proclaimed all rounder turns into one thing and it was the fifth and last thing everyone knew.

You never met them before, but the two boys found you staring into the lights of the dirty backyard pool of the house.

“You’re not going to jump are you?”

“That water isn’t even a clear blue anymore. ”

The two were wearing light colored dress shirts, each attractive and unique in their own way. Their tattoos slightly showed.

You try to match your slow vision to the people next to you, but the dim lighting from the pool light made it harder.

Both of them had silly smiles plastered on their faces and genuinely seemed curious if you were willing to catch a disease to swim in the huge pool.

One of the males squint their eyes to get a better look at the person they were talking to and that is when the smile from his faces drops.

There was evident tear tracks and mascara smudging on your face.

The second male seem to also notice and the two males look at each other in surprise.

“I’m not jumping in.” Afraid that they caught on to your little waterworks show, you quickly excuse yourself.

You never expected to meet them again at the first meeting of your school’s soccer team.

The two men were new members of the team and were scouted from a city far from your college campus.

Quickly lifting up your clipboard to hide your face, you slowly try to merge in with the other soccer club managers. Taking soft steps back, your back hits a wall.

“Boo.”

It wasn’t a wall.

You jolt up in surprise.

You hear a chuckle, “Hey, poolside.”

Before you could say anything else, another familiar face walks up to hang his arm over his shoulder, “Thought I saw a familiar face in the crowd.”

You let out a nervous laugh, “Yeah.”

The two look at each other as if talking through their eyes before turning to you.

“Name is Seungwoo.” says the one with his arm over the other boy.

“Seungyoun.” the other says with his arms lazily crossed.

From that first official meeting, you could tell they were not ordinary college guys.

Seungyoun and Seungwoo were best friends. Both of them were charming in different ways. Without trying, their confidence radiated and showed their natural charisma. It was a new feeling that you could not pin point in other people around your age.

One thing for sure was they were in a different league from you. Plus, you were not in the position to be looking around for a new relationship.

Being cheated on felt like a scam. You were not going to fall for it, or anyone, any time soon.

You told them your name with doubt that they would remember you as someone other than that person ugly crying near the poolside. However, in the next few soccer club meetings, they greeted you with your real name and a friendly smile.

Your gaze naturally followed them when they were around. You were not the only person to do that. Whenever they spoke, everyone listened. Even in informal club meetings at restaurants or bars, they were always the center of attention.You thought of them possibly being sociopaths because of how easily they controlled the whole room or a group of people.

Of course, that notion might have been made from the distrust you had in boys in general.

You only wanted to observe and not speak to either of them, but being one of the soccer managers did not work in your favor.

“We’ll take a head shot and then I’ll have a full body one with the soccer ball.” you told Seungwoo as you gesture him in front of the lockers into the frame of the picture.

He gave you his signature charming smile, “Sounds good.”

Seungwoo stood staring at the camera as you zoom in closer. You bite down on your bottom lip seeing how almost perfect he came out in the preview. 

A few seconds go by and Seungwoo breaks the silence, “Are you feeling better?”

You continue to play with the settings on the camera and switching between looking at him and then through the lens of the camera, “What do you mean?”

Watching your every move, Seungwoo grabs you by the wrist and pulls you forward, “Come closer, I don’t bite.”

You stare up at him with his porcelain face just a little bit closer than before, “The camera won’t focus if you’re this close.” You stutter for half a second.

“The camera or you?” Seungwoo teases while holding you by the wrist. His head slightly tilts as he raises his eyebrows.

“Is it my turn yet?” Seungyoun comes into the locker room while he blotted off the sweat running down his face.

Pulling your hand away from Seungwoo’s grasp, you turn to Seungyoun, “Not yet.”

“Well, the picture isn’t going to take itself if you two are flirting.” Seungyoun nudges Seungwoo.

You shape your mouth in an “o”, “We’re not.”

Seungyoun teases you about your pink cheeks the whole time and Seungwoo tries to stop it, but ends up joining the fun. You told them that you were going to take pictures in the ugliest angles and use that as their profile picture.

You had to be honest: There was no angle that made them any less attractive.

In the end, it was the ice breaker that made you more comfortable around Seungyoun and Seungwoo. Days went by and you started seeing them outside of the team meetings.

“I’ll get one vanilla shake, one strawberry smoothie.” Seungyoun starts ordering. He turns to you, “How about you?”

You shake your hand to reject him but Seungwoo steps in front of you, “She likes chocolate.” he states. How did he know that? The two boys look up at the menu to look for a chocolate drink.

Blocked by their huge backsides, you tiptoe to get their attention, “Its really fine.”

“We’ll just take that hot chocolate with whip cream.” Seungyoun says.

The three of you sat down in the corner of the cafe with your textbooks.

You take a sip of the hot chocolate and it comforts you as you jot down notes. Your thought process is interrupted when you see Seungyoun lightly playing with your loose strand of hair. You look up at him in confusion, “Can you not be disruptive for more than five minutes?”

Seungwoo looks at the two of you and shakes his head, “Behave, Seungyoun.” He does a double take on your face.

You lift up your pencil to hit Seungyoun, but a thumb swipes the bottom of your lips.

Seungwoo licks the whip cream off his thumb and nonchalantly goes back to his own school work.

Somehow, the joke was always on you because you could not stop your cheeks from pinking at Seungwoo’s gestures.

The days turned into months and the more you befriended them, the more scared you were.

Having them around was like having two knights by your side. You were close, but your feelings were so far. The two boys wore their hearts on their sleeves and told you everything about their past relationships or encounters.

On the contrary, you built a small wall out of your insecurities from your last relationship. A part of you convinced yourself that they were only hanging out with you because they were kind and they caught you at a vulnerable state that night.

“Hey Seungyoun, look. Its so cute.” You grabbed a pen with a small cartoon bunny on top.

Seungyoun smiles, “Nice.”

You put the pen back into the display and look back at him, “Everything here is so cute.”

“Yeah. Everything.”

“Hey, Seungyoun!” a couple of girls greet him from a different aisle and make their way towards the two of you.

Seungyoun waves his hand at them and you bite down on your bottom lip. That was another problem with your new friendship. You felt guilty they were seen with you.

“Where’s Seungwoo?” one of the girls ask.

“Seungwoo went to the arts and crafts section.” Seungyoun answers.

The girl nods, “I never thought I’d see you guys in a stationary store like this.”

Seungyoun places his hand on your head, “This little one wanted to come in.”

You give him a slight glare, “You said it was a good idea too!”

“I thought she was just their team manager?” one of the girls whisper.

You clearly hear her and quickly take Seungyoun’s hand off your head. You point to the back with your thumb, “I’m just gonna go see the stuffed animals.”

Before you could leave the group of girls and Seungyoun, Seungwoo is already caught up with you and Seungyoun. Luckily, you somehow managed to ditch the big group of girls and left Seungyoun and Seungwoo behind.

No, the problem were not the girls. The problem was not being seen with Seungyoun or Seungwoo either.

The problem was you. You had to protect yourself from hurt and the only answer you could come up with was to handle it alone. Like you always did.

You ignored any text messages or calls from either of them the rest of the day. The next day, you called in sick so you did not have to attend the soccer meeting.

Hey, poolside! Feel better.

If the text message from Seungyoun was not enough, Seungwoo knocked on the door of your apartment as soon as the day was over, “Hey.” You greet him.

The warmth in his eyes were gone and he wore a serious expression. His voice is low and deep as he says your name to greet you back.

You step out of your apartment and the two of you walk to the nearest place to sit.

“Are you feeling okay?”

You shake your head, “No.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m not sure.” You look down at your feet.

Sooner or later, you knew the question would come up, “Were you crying about someone that night?”

And you knew what night he was talking about, “Didn’t you already hear what happened? I’m sure the story has already spread.“

“I did. I just wanted to”

“Know if its accurate?” You laugh at yourself and nod, “As true as Seungyoun speaking Portuguese.” You knew him better now to use the metaphor in context.

Seungwoo is quiet and does not laugh at your attempt to joke around.

“I hope that answers everything.” You get up to escape his stare, but Seungwoo stands in front of you.

“Why are you ignoring us?”

“Why are you hanging out with me?” Your voice gets louder in attempt to hide the tremble in your tone.

“Because we like you. We want to be around you.” Seungwoo answers like it was the easiest question in the world.

“I don’t even want to be me.” You whisper to yourself.

“So you had one shitty guy cheat on you. He’s trash. You’re” Seungwoo pauses, “You’re great.”

You try to look for any sign of hesitation in his eyes, but found none.

Seungwoo sighs in frustration and it was the first time you have seen him suppressing his anger.

You curl your hands in a small fist, crinkling the edge of your shirt.

Seungwoo’s expression softens when he sees the pain in your eyes. He quietly says your name and pulls you in a hug.

Unwanted tears fall, “Sorry.”

Seungwoo rubs your back, “Its okay.” he repeatedly says. “I’ll fix everything for you.”

As if it was another person, his voice sends chills down your spine causing you to slowly stop your tears. You pull away from the hug and his fringe are covering his eyes, “Seungwoo?”

“I’ll see you later.”

In the end, you were barely able to convince Seungwoo not to walk you back to the dorms. You dig through your memory to remember the next plot point in the drama:

Devoured by pride from the night of the gathering, Kim Hana, the real one, decides her first phase of creating chaos. Unfortunately, blinded by her rage, she seeks out the wrong person.

Kim Wooseok.

With a sculptured face and eyes like a deer, Kim Wooseok was type of character that attracted with just one minute on screen. He has only had eyes for one girl ever since he met her. Kim Wooseok was the second male lead that would pin for the girl until the very end. In “The Heartbreak Club”, the difference in the main lead and the second lead was not timing. The Wooseok on the inside was different from what you saw on the outside.

You enter the office for your major and sign in to see a counselor to help with your current situation. You are in deep thought of how to tell them you needed to leave the major you were currently in until you feel a light push on your forehead.

“You’ll get wrinkles faster if you always look like your in pain.” Wooseok took a seat next to you and comfortably stretched out his legs.

You look at him in surprised and hold your forehead, “Oh, I was just thinking about something.”

“I’m assuming you got home safely yesterday?” Wooseok asks.

You nod.

Wooseok looks down at you, “Why are you here?”

You shake your head, “I want to change my major.”

Wooseok has a small look of surprise for a few seconds and slowly nods. He glances at you, “Can I ask you why?”

“I want to go for something that I can enjoy. I’m just not cut out for engineering.”

Wooseok mockingly laughs, “Are you being modest or just fishing for compliments? You’re one of the best students in your year.”

And again, you are reminded that you were still Kim Hana. “I might be, but I don’t want to do it anymore.”

Wooseok looks down at his lap and then back at you, “Where do you want to change to?”

“When I lived in the hospital, all I did was sketch for a hobby. I want” You pause your sentence and come to a realization.

“You lived at the hospital?” The features on Woosek’s face gets softer as if he was releasing all tension in his expression. 

“It wasn’t for very long.” You quickly answer. “Why are you here, Wooseok-sunbae?”

“For personal reasons." Wooseok answers. His stare lingers on you for a few more seconds until he looks down at his phone.

Talking to a counselor about changing your major with grades like Hana’s was an interesting conversation, but in the end, you could not change your major mid-semester. You agree to stick out in the major, but will comeback towards the end of the semester to change it.

Just like that, a normal week passed. That is, if normal was being completely lost in class and facing an identity crisis.

You slowly change Hana’s dull room into something more lively. Her bare beige walls now had fairy lights illuminating the darkness of the night. You also bought a medium-sized pin board to post up pictures. So far, you only had one picture of a cat that hung around your dorm’s building.

The gray bed sheets and comforters were now changed into a lilac purple, your favorite color. The color gave you a feeling of assurance and warmth.

Throughout the week you noticed Hana’s source of finances came from a joint bank account with her father. Feeling uncomfortable in using her father’s money, you started looking for a part time job.

Speaking of her father, you remember his supporting role in the drama. He was what you would call “a fool for his daughter”. He was Hana’s pillar, her weakness. It seemed like every time she talked to her father, her words were rough, but was filled worry.

He had only sent you one text message ever since you became Kim Hana.

To which, you did not reply to him. You felt uncomfortable fooling Hana’s father. But that same night he sent the message, you turned off your fairy lights in your room and let the moonlight become your source of light. He reminded you of your real mother. And you wished you treated her just a little better.

“Do you want to check it out? Its free.”

You turn around to the source of the angelic and cheerful voice. A petite girl stood behind you carrying a huge canvas. 

Her crescent shaped eyes when she smiled finally revealed who she was, Kim Chaewon. 

This was the thing about “The Heartbreak Club”. It was not only the main lead’s story, but the college life of several students. Kim Chaewon was a supporting female character. She had befriended Kim Minju because birds of the same feather flock together. Automatically, she was the spunky small bean who would go on to cheer for Minju’s plight for Han Seungwoo. Naturally, Kim Chaewon was pulled in her own small love triangle with two other male supporting leads.

When you did not answer, she smiled, “Don’t just stand outside, the fourth years made some really great pieces for this exhibit.”

Walking down the campus, you had found yourself going inside the Art’s Building for the first time.

You slowly nod, “Do you need some help?”

Chaewon shakes her head, “I look scrawny, but the canvas isn’t that heavy.” she giggles.

“Hey, small fry!” A male voice calls out.

You turn your attention to the person running over, ‘Seungyoun?’

“Hana? What are you doing here?” Seungyoun stands next to Chaewon, grabbing the canvas from her.

“She came to see the exhibit, right?” Chaewon gives you a cheeky smile and locks arms with you, pulling you through the doors of the exhibition room.

As soon as your enter, your mouth gapes open at all of the paintings fitted into the room. Your eyes light up at all the wonderful colors and unique art expressions.

Chaewon has a proud smile on her face and grabs the canvas from Seungyoun, “I’ll be right back.”

You slowly make your way to a particular painting. It was a watercolor painting of a bouquet of lilacs. You stare at the painting and a memory of your mother placing lilacs on your bed side table flashes through your mind.

Aren’t these great?

I guess.

This girl, you’re never going to see the brighter things in life if you choose to gray scale your vision.

I like them a lot. Thank you.

You close your eyes and almost hear your mom say your real name.

You turn your body away from Seungyoun when you feel a drop fall down your cheek, “Wow, these paintings are great.”

However, Seungyoun’s already seen the lone tear that escaped.

Cho Seungyoun was probably one of the very few characters with a more normal backstory. Wearing a heart on his sleeve, he is set to pursue his dream to become a music producer. However, he did not expect it when he slowly became interested in a small girl that was always carrying too much art supplies and that his music take form in the shape of his newly found interest, Kim Chaewon.

“Are you crying?” Just like the straight-forward character that he was, he does not miss a beat to ask you.

“I think its just the fresh paint fumes.” you quickly wipe the tear and sniffle.

“Right.”

“I have to go.” You give him a weak wave and start to leave.

“Hey! Come back again.” Chaewon says from across the room.

You look at Seungyoun, then at Chaewon and nod.

Everything was catching up with you at a fast pace. You wonder what happened to your old life. If this was your second chance, then does this mean you do not exist in your past life?

All the questions floating in your head frustrated you, but you kept calm. Other than completing your bucket list, was this going to last forever? You were in someone else’s life, living their reality.

Another part perplexed you. You knew the background stories of all, if not most, of all the people around you. Were they actually part of your reality?

Deep inside, you were just a weak and sick ridden person with little to no knowledge of life outside your hospital bedroom.

But, little did you know, the story that you once knew was slowly changing its course.

A month passes by as if nothing happened. You were still having trouble in your computer classes, while you were barely surviving general education classes. You got a part time job near your school at a cafe.

You also kept your distance from all the characters you knew about. Yohan was the hardest to keep away from because of his interest toward Kim Hana, but you successfully avoided him. It was the best for them to follow the path they were destined to follow.

Syntax error

You let out deep sigh and lightly slam your fingers on the keyboard. You see a shadow creeping up behind you and you jump in surprise.

Hangyul looked at the screen on your computer and scrolled through the code using the keyboard. “You forgot to define this. It won’t work if you randomly insert it with no formula or integer.”

Opposite of Cho Seungyoun, Lee Hangyul was a student of secrets. Not much was known other than the fact that he was adopted. He was just Cho Seungyoun’s best friend. The love triangle between Seungyoun, Chaewon, and Hangyul was an obvious endgame. If Kim Wooseok’s pain did not cause second male lead syndrome, Lee Hangyul’s did. 

You watch him type something and successfully run the program. “Thanks.”

Hangyul takes the computer next to you and leans on the table of the computer, “Don’t take this to offense, but are you sick?”

Wary of his suspicion, you give him a confused expression, “What are you talking about?”

“That day of our midterm, I carried you to the health office.”

You point at him, “It was you?”

“After that happened, you changed.” Hangyul says quietly. “I was just gonna ignore it because we’re not close or anything.”

You wait for him to continue.

“But, I can’t.”

“Why not?”

Hangyul pauses, “Because a situation changed.”

The Heartbreak Club Episode 7

“I don’t need this from you, Hana.” Wooseok got up from the chair.

“You like Kim Minju. I know you do.” Hana slowly makes her way closer to him. “I’m just saying we should work together.”

Wooseok scoffed, “You’re a real work of art, you know that?”

“What are you guys doing here?” Seungyoun’s raises his eyebrows.

“We’re on a date.” Hana states. She looks at the petite girl next to Seungyoun.

Chaewon slowly raises her hand, “Hey, I’m Chaewon.”

Seungyoun looks at Wooseok in confusion.

“Lets go, Hana.” Wooseok grabs Hana’s wrist and pulls her out of the exhibit room.

“Chaewon is one of Minju’s closest friends. It won’t be long until she tells her.” Hana tells Wooseok as he pulls her farther from the building.

Wooseok finally stops in his tracks, “So?”

“I’ve known Minju for years and she won’t stand anyone else getting attention other than her.”

“How’s Hangyul?” You sat on the couch like a pretty painting with your queen-like ivory wedding dress.

Yohan closes the door behind him “Hangyul? Oh, he’s chill.” Yohan lightly fixes his bangs with a cheeky smile.

“I don’t even understand why I can’t see him until he walks down the aisle. This traditional shit does not fit us.” You get up from your seat and start stretching.

Yohan chuckles, “You getting married or getting ready for a competition?”

You, Hangyul, and Yohan were all part of the Taekwondo team in college and from time to time the three of you still practice the amazing sport.

“I have too many layers of clothing on me and these garments feel like chains.” You say as you stretch your hands up.

Yohan crosses his arms, “You look beautiful.”

“Good. This whole thing took four hours.” You turn your hips from side to side. Scanning Yohan’s suit, you give him a small smile, “I guess, you look a little handsome today too.”

Once again Yohan’s laughter fills the room, “As good as it gets. You ready?”

Suddenly, your hands get sweaty and your heart starts to race. This whole time, you wondered why you did not get the nerves. It was a late reaction, but it finally hit you. You take a deep breath, “Give me a minute.”

Yohan towers over you as he kept one of his hands in his pockets. “Like two peas in a pod.” he says to himself.

“He’s gonna be there, right?” You looked up at Yohan with hope.

“Are you scared?” The happy expression on Yohan’s face switches to a more somber one.

Usually you would answer him with sarcasm, but this time it was serious, “Yeah, I am. He’ll be there, right?”

Silence permeates the room for a few seconds and the only sounds you could here were the rustling of the trees from the open window. Yohan’s breaks the silence.

“If your unsure,” Yohan’s turns to the closed door and then back at you, “Should we run away together?”

The two of you exchange dangerous looks.

You lower your eyes, “Can you handle losing your best friend?”

Yohan walks up to lessen the gap between the two of you. He holds out his palm for you to grab.

You take his hand and then pull his whole arm to twist it. “Its not even the after party and you’re already drunk?”

Yohan flinches at your sudden attack, but chuckles through the pain in his arm, “Ouch, okay. Your grip- ouch!”

You let go of the hold on his whole arm, “If he’s not there, I’ll just have to actually hurt him, like what I just did with you.”

Yohan lightly pinches your cheek, “He’ll be there.”

You let out a long sigh. Nodding to yourself, you pick up your dress and make your way to the door, “I’m gonna marry the fuck out of him.”

The wedding bells were finally rung as the you and Hangyul walked out the church hand in hand.

Hangyul stopped mid-stairs to give you another chaste kiss, his arms around your waist and your arms around his neck.

The photographer’s shutter sounds went off.

“Finally, this suit is so stuffy.” Hangyul says between the kisses.

Your lips pull up into a smile, “I said the same thing about this dress.”

“I’ll take it off later.” Hangyul says with a swift wink.

You scoff at him, “Yeah right, I bet you won’t even get passed the first layer.”

“True. It’s no taekwondo uniform.” Hangyul smirks.

You lightly smack him, “We’ll talk about this later.” You turn to your wedding guests congratulating you.

Hangyul watches you and a foolish smile spreads across his face. His hand never lets go of yours as he stands like a support pillar next to you.

Sitting next to a fountain outside of the church, Yohan scans the greenery decorating the church. He closes his eyes as he finally hears the wedding bells go off, “Just about time.” Yohan walks away from the garden and tucks one of his hands in his pocket. His walking slows down when he finally sees the happy couple share their moment from a far.

2.) You don’t need a man to complete you. There wasn’t even a you to complete.

There was something off when you made bets with Seungyoun. You had this willpower to always prove him wrong and you always won.

After baiting you with multiple text messages from a certain someone, or the occasional instagram post from your favorite celebrity, it was already the end of the day.

The end of the day usually ended at Seungyoun’s house or studio. Neither of you questioned it.

“I’ll let you know my wish a later time.” You are sitting on his reclining chair in front of his mix table.

“Hangyul texted you.” Seungyoun handed your phone to you, admitting defeat.

You open the text message as Seungyoun pretends to accidentally catch a glimpse while playing with his mixer.

They were merely two text messages, but you could already tell how much, for lack of a better word, game Hangyul actually had.

hey, how are you?

Okay, small talk sucks. its really hot, how about ice cream?

You look at the time it was sent and see it was several hours ago.

“Wow, how desperate. Two consecutive text messages.” Seungyoun says under his breath.

You give him a look because he was one to talk.

sorry for the late reply, I had a bet with-

sorry for the late reply, is it too late

sorry for the late reply, i couldn’t use my phone

You let out a huge sigh.

Seungyoun watches you struggle with answering back and places his hand on your head, “Just answer with whatever, he’ll take anything. Trust me.”

You realize Seungyoun has been looking the whole time and turn off your screen.

"No.” You crinkle your nose, “Hangyul’s too dangerous.”

Seungyoun gives you a confused look, “I know he looks a little angry sometimes, but he was actually trying to catch frogs the other day?”

You half laugh, “That’s not what I meant.“ Your gaze on Seungyoun is too long for both of you not to notice.

But, this was a reoccurring action. Both of you had no idea how to exactly bring these up: The longing looks, your constant need to think about him, and his constant need not to picture you in his studio completely nake-andstoprightTh!erebigguy.

3) You’re not his best friend. He is your manager.

In which, Seungyoun needs to start getting paid because the amount of people that contact him with your name was unbearable.

At first, it was harmless because most of the time it was his own friends asking him if you were with him or if he could relay a message to you.

It was not until a stranger asked about you that he realizes that you were very much available.

“Hey, you’re Seungyoun, right?” A guy who looked like he attended the same school came up to your manager best friend.

Seungyoun nods and scans the almost familiar face, “Oh, you’re in one of my classes.”

“Name is Choi Byungchan.”

Seungyoun looks around waiting for something to happen. He did not have to introduce himself, so he was in a confusing position.

“I guess I shouldn’t beat around the bush. Are you close?” Your name comes out of Byungchan’s mouth quietly, but with purpose.

Seungyoun makes an “o” with his mouth and lightly hits the boy’s shoulder, “We’re pretty much best friends. Why?” Seungyoun watches Byungchan hesitate.

And Seungyoun is only smart when it comes to your social life so he figures out exactly what Byungchan was getting at. He assures Byungchan that you were a chill person and to sit next to you in class next time.

Seungyoun gave one look at this handsome, tall boy and knew nothing was going to happen.

This was not the final instance.

“Song Yubin? I don’t know him that well.” You clasp your hands together, “He’s that guy that joined one of those survival programs, right?” He was well-known around campus just for that. 

Seungyoun nods with a blank expression on his face.

“You better not be joking.”

“I was confused too.” Seungyoun says it out of spite and “just because”. “He seems like the type of guy to date someone humble, delicate, and sweet.”

You smack his shoulder, “Are you saying I’m none of those things?”

Seungyoun sees your expression change with this popular guy possibly having interest in you, “I’m just the pigeon sending you his note, okay?”

Yubin was a little more courageous than Byungchan because he actually gave Seungyoun a note with his number to give to you.

Just like Byungchan, Seungyoun gave it to you with no hesitation.

At some point, Seungyoun knew he had to carry around business cards that had his name in huge letters attached with Underpaid Best-friend Secretary. He would put an e-mail where they can contact him. Maybe he could make your merchandise.

The cherry on top was Lee Jinhyuk. Just when Seungyoun thought your suitors could not get any better, the student body’s president personally comes to find Seungyoun.

“So, I heard you were dating someone.”

“No, we’re not dating. We’re only best friends.” Seungyoun says like a broken record.

Jinhyuk grins, “So I’m guessing you know what I was going to ask?”

Jinhyuk and Seungyoun were not complete strangers like the others, so he assures Jinhyuk that he would ask you.

“Are you having fun play cupid or?” You were surprised Seungyoun would call you at night just for this.

“I promised him that I would ask you before I gave him your number.”

“Is he. Well what. Are you.” You try to find a way to start your sentences because Seungyoun was practically offering every guy out there to get rid you you? Yes, it did make you want to raise hell, “Would you trust him with my number?”

Seungyoun does not hesitate to say yes because the guy was the student body president and a well-rounded leader.

You were grateful he could not see your facial expression over the phone, “Okay, tell him to call me when he’s not busy.” 

4) You had plans. You will have plans.

Seungyoun figured everything would die down after Jinhyuk, but he had the best wake up call when he found out that you did take one of his suggestions.

The part that made him angry and betrayed was he had to hear it from the winner, himself, Lee Hangyul.

“My bad, I thought you guys were really close.” The perfect skin, two to eight hair-part ratio, and collarbone charmer was rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“Yeah, we’re best friends.” Seungyoun said it a million times before, but he was more than glad to repeat it a few more times for Hangyul to hear.

Hangyul slowly nods, now rubbing his arm.

“When did you guys even hang out?” He tries to remember the exact days you could have betrayed him to go on a date with Hangyul.

“About a month ago?”

Seungyoun’s expression was calm. Too calm.

“You good?” Hangyul has never been this itchy before, as he scratches behind his ear.

Seungyoun furiously nods his head, “I have to go, but this was a good talk.”

“Ah.” Before Hangyul could say anything, Seungyoun was out of sight. “Best-friends, huh.”

younie: How can you do this to me?

NOT MY Bestfriend: ..?

younie: I was going to make business cards for you.

In your years of friendship, you knew when the conversation turned into one you could not comprehend, it was best to call him.

“Yes, this is betrayed and disappointed, how can I help you?”

“What did I do?”

“You know, you are playing the victim card really well.”

“Cho Seungyoun!”

“How was your date with Hangyul?”

The lines goes quiet and all Seungyoun hears is a soft, “Oh.”

“Oh?”

“I was gonna tell you, if it came up in conversation.”

“So, never?”

“It’s hard to bring up the fact I went on a date with one of your close friends.”

“Hangyul seemed to bring it up just fine.”

Just like that, you were quiet once again. You wait for him to talk, but nothing. “I’m sorry for not telling you.”

“You’re bad.” Seungyoun did not have to heart to say anything worse.

“I’ll make it up to you?” Your tone of voice was sweeter than usual.

“Like what?” And Seungyoun bought into it as quick as lightning.

“Lets do something tomorrow?”

“You said you were busy.”

“I’ll just cancel. Its fine.”

Seungyoun wanted to agree because he needed to see you so you could talk to him about your date, but a little voice called out to him in the back of his head.

Ask her what plans she was going to cancel.

He had a inkling of your answer, but for world peace he asks, “What were you going to do tomorrow?” in the best nonchalant way he was capable of.

Your silence was just enough of an answer.

“My god, you have another date with Hangyul?”

“We can hang out the three of us, like the club!” You quickly respond.

“You mean, I can third wheel you guys?”

“Seungyoun, please. You were the one who introduced me to him.” Your voice was soft.

You were right.

And some other people were right about Hangyul. too.

Now, Seungyoun’s board of advisers (ie: Seungwoo, Wooseok, Yohan, Dongpyo) were at a split decision whether or not he should crash your date accept your invitation.

“No, you better not third wheel. That’s so pathetic, hyung.”

“Go for it. That is your best friend right there.”

“When you end your friendship with Hangyul, I’m not hating him because you hate him.”

“Hey, all’s fair in love friendship and war.”

In the end, he was the deciding factor.

5) The two of you have plans. 

“Hope you didn’t mind.” Seungyoun puts his arm over Hangyul’s shoulder.

“Of course not, we’re all close friends. “ Luckily, Hangyul naturally looked for the positivity in awkward situations.

“Of course, he minds.” You glare at Seungyoun and take a shot of soju.

Hangyul chuckles, “Just a little.”

Seungyoun removes you from Hangyul’s side like a crane and attaches himself next to the troubled boy.

You give Hangyul an apologetic look, “Sorry about my annoying friend.”

Seungyoun does not know if it was because you omitted the “best” in best friend, but the caveman had to invent fire sooner or later.

In Seungyoun’s case, not only did he light a fire somewhere, he also learned how to hunt for his prey.

It was that realization that everyone was waiting for and wherever his board of advisors were, they felt the urge to text him all at the same time.

The late bloomer has finally caught up?

Whatever you do, don’t pull her wrist. That is not an actual romantic action and only deserves a restraining order.

Hangyul will understand.

She’ll follow you out no matter what. I know it.

And all of them were one hundred percent correct, so the two of you ended up separating from Hangyul and were arguing in one of the alleys near the restaurants and businesses.

The God of Dramatic Hollywood Scenes cued the rain and the two of you were fighting about Hangyul, Seungyoun’s messy studio causing his insomnia, your social media addiction, Seungyoun’s wet bangs in the rain, and any other petty card you two could throw at each other.

Then, Seungyoun has your back against a dirty wall with his lips pressed against yours because that was the only way the two of you could hear each other in the loud rain. He feels your hands curl on the edge of his wet shirt and he waits to be pushed off, but you tip toe even closer to him.

He pulls your waist closer to him so you two could exchange warmth, but you only gasp giving him a passage to that beautiful mouth, leaving you breathless. And Seungyoun was rude the whole night from crashing your date to making Hangyul drink too many soju shots, but it was your turn to be rude back.

You snake your freezing fingers up under his shirt and onto his warm skin, earning a low growl from him, but he does not detach himself from you.

Seungyoun knew anything other than soju made you too drunk, too quickly so he banned other alcohols indefinitely.

However, the two of you only had soju to drink for the night so Seungyoun either had to ban soju or ban you, as a whole.

But, the combination of you and soju tasted so sweet, so he was going to make an exception for that night.

You throw him a peace sign, “Only true friends.”

An alert sound comes from his phone and the both of you exchange looks.

Seungyoun opens the text message.

You wait for his reaction which came as a shriek.

“She said sure!” He shines the phone’s screen in front of your face.

“I can’t see. Its too bright.” You swat his phone out of your face and you cross your arms.

Seungyoun recites the reply from his future date, “Sure, Seungyoun. I’ll let you know.”

You rub your temples. So much for future date. “Hey, lets go to that new jazz bar in Itaewon.”

“Can’t I need my schedule as open as possible. I don’t know when she’ll get back to me.” Seungyoun gets up from the floor and shoos your leg off his couch. He sits down on the couch and you place your legs on his lap.

“Never, Seungyoun. She’s never going to get back to you. I’m sorry.” You pat him on the head.

Seungyoun groans and drops his phone. He covers his eyes with his arm.

Seungyoun always replied back to text messages in less than a minute. He wore his heart on his sleeve and did not play any of the push and pull dating games. 

If you two weren’t best friends, he would’ve been a perfect partner. The last thing you wanted was someone complicated.

Seungyoun was as simple as pie.

“So, Itaewon?”

Seungyoun nodded, “Lets invite Hangyul too.”

2.) He only does soju. He had a strict no vodka/whiskey/rum/tequila policy “just because”

What was suppose to happen was an innocent outing to a bar in Itaewon.

What actually happened was Hangyul decided that jazz was not his thing and opted for clubbing instead. Of course, dumb and dumber stick together so you become the third member, the idiot who followed.

The three of you stuck together for a good ten minutes until the crowds finally separated you and Hangyul from Seungyoun.

Hangyul yells your name to counter the loud bass of the music. You move closer to Hangyul in an attempt to hear him.

“Do you want to get a drink?” Hangyul points to the bar where less people crowded.

You nod and Hangyul grabs your wrist with a smile, “Follow me.” he mouths.

Finally out of the sea of people dancing, Hangyul buys you a drink. He considered it as an apology for changing plans so last minute.

You look around for the “dumber” member.

Hangyul moves closer to your ear, “Seungyoun went to the DJ to request a song.

You give Hangyul a side glare. He wasn’t suppose to invade your mind like that.

Hangyul chuckles and he receives a drink from the barista. He offers it to you.

The thing with alcohol was you always drank it with Seungyoun ever since the two of you entered college. This was probably the second time you weren’t drinking with him.

But, you take the drink anyway because you already made the mistake of following the two of them into a club. You sniff the drink. ‘Yup, smells like strong alcohol.’ you think.

Hangyul easily finishes his drink and you tilt your head to the side letting out a defeated laugh.

He has a small proud smirk and gives you a head nod to signal you to drink.

You give it one more sniff before letting the acidic liquid hit your throat.

Hangyul nods his head in approval and lightly pats you on the head. You were sure it meant, ‘Good job, you're able to drink something else other than soju.’

You playfully smack his shoulder and begin to take another sip when a hand appears from the bottom of the cup to pull it away from you. You quickly look in the direction of the hand and see Seungyoun, “Hey!” You yell.

Seungyoun looks at Hangyul’s direction and snaps back to you. He downs the rest of the drink as your mouth gapes open in surprise.

“That was mine!” You yell over the music.

3.) As far as he’s concerned, sleep is optional.

Hangyul scratches his ear looking at the scene unfold in front of him.

Seungyoun, on the other hand, is between being present in the moment and “I don’t know who that is. I came with the handsome guy."

“I just don’t need to deal with children.” You leaned on the metal pole like it was the only thing keeping you standing. “But, why is my best friend a big child?” You look down at your fingers seemingly counting a math equation.

“Look, it was just one drink. Could’ve ended with one drink. You just had to take it away from her.” Hangyul sighs deeply.

Seungyoun had nothing to retort. Hangyul was one hundred percent right. Maybe if he did not take that first drink, she would not have to prove a point and have five more glasses of alcohol.

Both guys look back at you and click  their tongues in unison.

It took exactly two hours to drop you off back home. That was with Hangyul tagging along and helping. Seungyoun was your pack mule because he decided that carrying you was faster. Hangyul was the designated person to apologize for the ruckus you were creating.

You did not remember mostly everything the next day and you were more than glad to forget the night, for the most part.

However, you did remember something about Seungyoun only drinking soju because he was a child or something like that.

Also, you ended up back at Seungyoun’s small studio because you had to escape a murder that was about to take place. Who knew being dropped off by two healthy boys in their twenties, completely wasted, and at two in the morning was such a criminal offense?

“You, get out of here.” Seungyoun answered the door with disheveled hair and last night’s eyeliner that you had forced him to wear.

You scoff at his poor attempt at being serious and slip through the door frame.

Seungyoun closes the door behind him and blows his bangs out of his face, “Do you know how much trust I lost from your mother?”

You take a seat on his couch and shrug, “Don’t worry. I’m pretty sure your her favorite child out of the both of us.”

He says your full name in a low-tone, “This is serious!”

“Cho Seungyoun.” You copy his tone. “When are we going clubbing again?” You change your tone into a cheerful one. Too cheerful to be serious.

“I am so great to see you completely rested.” Seungyoun answers back with his own sarcasm and a lopsided smile.

It was then you realized Seungyoun’s eyes are slightly red on the rim. You look around his small studio and papers are scrapped all over the place, “Did you not sleep?” You get up to get a closer look and observe his face.

Seungyoun stares back at you and you hear his light breathing.

He slowly shakes his head side to side, “What am I going to do with you?”

4.) He does, in fact, need sleep.

Beep. Beep.

You peek from your phone, ‘Oh, its his phone.’ You look back at your phone, continuing what you were doing. To be honest, the silence was killing you. Yes, thee Cho Seungyoun was giving you the silent treatment. He had his headphones on, writing his "dumb” rap lyrics. Usually, he would have filled the room with beats that he was working on. Today, you were exiled from his music as punishment.

A few minutes later, you hear multiple text message beeps from his phone.

Annoyed, you avert your attention to him. “Can you silence your phone? I get it, you’re not talking to me, but someone else.” You snap at him.

Seungyoun looks at you and silences his phone, “There.”

You sit up on his couch, “What? What is it? Is there something wrong?”

Oh, how the tides have turned.

Seungyoun leisurely sits on his chair as his fingers tap on the arm rests. He has his chin up, looking down at you.

“010.″ He starts.

You squint at him as he starts to say random numbers, “What the hell, Seungyoun?”

“Hangyul’s phone number.” Seungyoun positions his hands so that all of his fingers aligned as if he was planning something.

You hold up your hand in confusion, “Okay, so?”

“You don’t want it?” His sentences are short and concise.

“Why would I want Hangyul’s” your words get quieter and taper off into silence.

“Well?” Seungyoun raises an eyebrow at you.

You think for awhile, “I don’t want his number through you.”

Seungyoun presses his lips in a thin line, “Interesting.”

“Tell him to come get my number himself.” you add.

Seungyoun’s mouth slowly opens in awe.

The tides change once more and everything was back to how it was suppose to be.

You let out a hearty laugh as Seungyoun grabs the nearest pillow to cover your face with.

Something about the heat in his small studio with no air conditioner had the two of you sleepy after a good few minutes of fighting (read: pillow fighting).

It was merely a cause of the heat.

Since there was only one pillow, you had no choice, but to fall asleep on his arm while he selfishly took the one pillow.

The two of you wake up at different times, but both of you continue to fall asleep even after that fact.

That damn weather.

5.) He has a problem.

There was definitely nothing more than friendship. Teasing each other, getting into petty fights, the childish banter, and all that happened every time you were with him. It definitely was not a feeling of love.

When Seungyoun hung out with his friends, it was the same question over and over again.

Are you guys dating yet?

The answer was the same every time. It became a default.

“Bull. Shit.”

Seungwoo reaches over to smack Dongpyo on the side of his head, “Watch your language.”

“But, hyung. They stick to each other like their life depends on it.” Dongpyo says as he massages the side of his head.

“That’s because, if they don’t, they might actually start missing each other. That would cancel all the denial they have.” Wooseok answers.

Dongpyo looks up trying his hardest to understand the situation.

Seungwoo lightly touchs Dongpyo’s hand, “Don’t try to understand it. None of us get it either.”

“Listen. I know for a fact that I can put all your suspicions to rest.” Seungyoun leans in.

“Oh yeah? Let me hear it. I’m ready for a good laugh.” Yohan scoffs.

Seungyoun ignores Yohan’s remark, “I gave her Hangyul’s number.” Seungyoun claps, “Boom.”

Seungwoo knits his eyebrows together and Dongpyo curses again, but he lets it go because it was actually called for.

“That’s not evidence. It’s just plain stupidity on your part.” Wooseok put his palms to his forehead.

Yohan looks at Seungyoun with pity in his eyes, “It wasn’t even funny.”

Seungyoun looks clearly offend at all of their remarks, “Damn it, guys.”

“I’m going to explain this to you slowly because you’re one of my precious juniors.” Seungwoo says softly.

Seungyoun has a sour look on his face, but continues to listen.

“You gave her Hangyul’s phone number so they could get to know each other, eventually date because, lets face it, Hangyul is a great guy.” He leaves out the part where Hangyul was not completely oblivious to his own emotions, unlike someone.

“And then, after they date, they’ll become official. Because Hangyul is the perfect package.” Wooseok makes sure to say his last sentence a little louder for the people in the back.

“Meaning you can see bye-bye to sleeping next to your “best friend” or getting into one of your fake fights because you guys have weird kinks like that.” Yohan continues.

“Hyung, I can take most of your bullcrap, but introducing her to Hangyul-hyung is really not it.” Dongpyo says.

Seungyoun looks around the table and slowly nods. Disappointed, he looks down at his lap.

The four boys exchange looks.

Yohan pats him on the back, “Its okay. Lets just see what happens.”

“I guess the only thing you can do is just do better than him.” Wooseok suggests. “I mean, you can sing, dance, and produce. You’re a great guy too, Seungyoun.”

Seungyoun looks up in realization.

That was it.

“So if I want to keep our friendship, I need to get her away from any type of relationship with any guy.”

“Huh?” Dongpyo widens his eyes.

“Relationships will only end in heartbreak, so I just have to stop her from seeing anyone, ever.”

“No. No. No.” Seungwoo repeated multiple times.

His problem was Lee Hangyul.

+1.) He knows too much about you.

“Hey, can you help me with my zipper?”

But he was going to carry that to his grave.

Seungyoun picks up his glass to drink soju, but a customer enters the chicken restaurant. He slightly sits up to get a better look and raises both his eyebrows, “Speak of the devil.”

You enter the restaurant with eyes darting around to look for Yohan. You feel the eyes of a certain group of people and realize that Yohan was part of it, “Yohan.”

Yohan turns around and slightly opens his mouth in surprise.

You walk to the table and give a weak wave to everyone, “Hey.”

Yohan gets up quicker than he should have and offers you a seat.

“Thanks.” You sit down and look down at your lap because you were aware of the stares from everyone.

Minju was the first one to break the silence, “I like your outfit, Hana. You look really cute.”

You give a small smile, “Its a little different from my usual clothes, huh?”

“A little? I thought you were a black and white film with your wardrobe.” Seungyoun says.

You see everybody looking towards you and your heart starts to race. This was the first time in awhile that you were out with friends, or just people in general. A part of you felt hesitant to speak or even move. Plus, they were Kim Hana’s classmates. You knew exactly how they felt about you, Kim Hana.

“Where did you get your t-shirt?” Minju softly asks.

“It was in my closet.” You answer.

Minju cocks her head and lets out a chuckle, “Of course you did. I mean, where did you buy it?”

You observe all of Minju’s movements. ‘Even her gestures are pretty. As expected of the female lead.’

Kim Minju and Kim Hana have known each other since elementary school. After that, they always ended up at the same school and in the same class for the rest of their middle school and high school years. It was no surprise the two of them ended up going to the same University. In the beginning, they proved that opposites attract by becoming best friends.

It wasn’t until Kim Hana started getting bullied that the two started to drift apart. Despite Minju’s happy-go-lucky attitude, she carried a huge guilt that involved Kim Hana. It was never mentioned in the drama or, at least, you did not watch that far into the drama to find out. Whatever it was, Kim Hana did not think, even for one second, to forgive her.

Again, you had no ill feelings against Kim Minju so everything was fine.

Right?

“Ah, I forgot. Its a really old shirt.”

Minju made an ‘O’ with her mouth and looked down.

Yohan started to pour you a shot of soju, “Starter?”

You take the shot and make a face. ‘This is part of the college experience.’ you assure yourself. You watch everyone at the table interact with each other.

Despite Kim Wooseok’s confident actions, you knew he was in the middle of a self conflict because of the female lead.

Kim Yohan had a slight interest in Kim Hana and he was too naive to figure out why.

Hangyul and Seungyoun were still the best of friends, unaware that the two would fall for the same girl.

‘Knowing everyone’s story and fate kinda sucks the fun out of a get-together.’ You think. You had no questions that you did not already know the answer to.

“Do you guys want to play a drinking game?” Yohan suggests.

“Sure.” Minju agrees.

“I’m really good at games so no sore losers, please.” Seungyoun says, slightly looking at your direction.

“Yeah, yeah. Pretty sure you came back to our apartment wasted last weekend because of your skills.” Wooseok teases.

Hangyul nods, “And he’s going back wasted this weekend.”

Yohan looks at your direction.

“To be honest, I’ve never played a drinking game.” You scratch your head, “But I’ll try.”

The drinking games began and after losing consecutive rounds, you become buzzed. You look down at the shot in your hands. You lost once again.

“Hey guys, lets go easy on Hana, its her first time playing.” Minju says.

You shake your head, “I’m having a lot of fun. Thanks for inviting me.”

Actually, drinking with friends was not as great as you thought it would be. But, at least this was one less thing to cross out in your bucket list.

“You can sit out on the next few rounds.“ You watch as Hangyul takes the shot in your hand and drinks it. He looks towards your direction and you give him a soft smile, “Thanks.”

“Kim Hana, you might be really drunk. I’ve never heard you say ‘thank you’ so many times. Or at all.” Wooseok says.

That was right. Kim Hana did not appreciate anybody but herself.

You pour yourself a glass of water and drink it. "I’ll just stick to water for now.“

A good hour passes by and you knew exactly what would happen. It was time for you to go. You start to gather your stuff.

“You leaving?” Yohan asks in concern.

You nod, “I don’t want to miss curfew at the dorm.”

To be honest, you were trying to avoid conflict. The night was not suppose to end well for Kim Hana.

You get up a little tipsy. Yohan offers to leave with you, but you reject him. You were at a restaurant walking distance from the university.

A part of you still felt empty. You got exactly what you wanted and hung out with friends, but were you actually happy?

You stagger out the restaurant and accidentally bump into a stranger, “Sorry.”

“Hana?” The stranger lightly touches your shoulder.

You look up and squint your eyes.

‘Han Seungwoo.’

“It is you. I almost didn’t recognize you with your new style..” He gives you a smile until he realizes your half-lidded eyes and pink cheeks, “Are you drunk?”

You brush off his question, “Everyone was waiting for you. I have to catch curfew.”

“You live on campus, right? I’ll walk you there.” Seungwoo says.

“I’m good to walk by myself.” You give him a ninety degree bow. ‘

“No you’re not.”

You see Seungwoo determined to make sure you get home safely.

Of course, that was expected of the male lead.

Han Seungwoo, like Kim Minju, was naturally good natured. Starting out as a performing arts major, he was probably the University’s most well-known student. Almost all girls swooned when he passed by and guys wanted to be him. It only took one broadway-like performance for Kim Minju to fall for him.

However, like every melodramatic drama an accident causes him to be unable to stand on stage and he changes to a more knowledge orientated major.

Disappointed, Kim Minju does her best to help him get over his trauma. As for Kim Hana, she only knew him as an engineering senior. At first she is turned off by his friendliness, but he slowly melts her cold personality. Just when Kim Hana finally finds a new interest in Han Seungwoo, Kim Minju and him fall for each other.

Love was timing and Kim Hana was too late.

“Sunbae, I’m really okay.” You back away from him.

Seungwoo looks in the restaurant then back at you, “Hana, I know that the past gathering you went to didn’t end well.”

Of course he did. Wooseok talked to him about it.

“But, I was really glad to hear that you were coming today.”

There it was. It was one of the phrases that made Kim Hana unable to hate him.

“I’m sure some other people feel the same.” Seungwoo pats your head.

You stare at him in awe. How can anyone not fall for him?

“I hope you can be more friendly with the others in our department.”

“I can do that.” You assure him.

“Hey Hana, over here!” Yohan gets up from his chair and excitedly jogs to her.

Hana looks at Yohan and then the table. “Where is he?”

Yohan patted Hana’s back in assurance, “He’ll be here. Just sit down for now.”

Hana and Yohan pull up a seat at the large table.

Seungyoun watches Hana’s body language turn away from the table. He scoffs and takes a shot of soju.

“Do you guys want to play a drinking game?”

“No.” Hana quickly answers and raises her arm to call for a waiter. “Can I have a glass of water?”

“I’ll play.” Minju smiles at Yohan.

Yohan returns her smile and everyone follows Minju’s lead.

Hana waits for a good hour, but he does not come. Just when her patience was about to run out someone enters the restaurant in a hurry.

“Hey sorry, guys.” Seungwoo pants and grabs a chair for support.

A little buzzed Hangyul raises his hand, “Hey there big guy! You’re just in time.”

Seungwoo laughs, “What did you just say? Are you talking informally to your sunbae?”

Seungyoun quickly puts a chicken leg to Hangyul’s mouth, “Sorry, hyung.”

Seungwoo takes a seat next to Hana and right across Minju.

“Now that Seungwoo-hyung is here, how about we play the truth game?” Hangyul suggests. “If you can’t answer, you have to take a shot.”

Wooseok half chuckled, “Sure.”

“C’mon guys, I just got here.” Seungwoo half jokes.

Hangyul starts off the game and although most questions were silly, nobody had any real problem answering the questions.

“I’ll go next.” Seungyoun tries to look for a chance to spice everything up. He looks around the table and his eyes stop at Yohan. “Yohan, do you have a crush on Kim Hana?”

Hana gives Seungyoun a sharp gaze and then looks away from the group. She does not look at anyone until she hears wolf cheers.

Yohan had taken a shot.

“Isn’t not answering just admitting you like her, Yohan?” Wooseok nudges him.

Hana lets out an annoyed sigh. Why did she even come in the first place? She gives Seungwoo a quick glance.

Seungyoun does not take Hana’s reaction lightly and puts down a shot glass on the table with a loud clank, “Why did you even come, Hana? You’re not playing any of the games. You won’t even talk to anyone.”

“Seungyoun, Hana’s just a little shy.” Minju says.

It feels like Hana’s eyes darken and she turns to Minju, “I have a question for you, Minju.” Hana purses her lip. “To be honest, you have victim’s mentality? True or false.”

“Victim’s mentality? That’s you, Hana.” Wooseok sits up.

Hana ignores Wooseok and gets up. She looks down at Minju who became quiet, “Why don’t you say something, Minju?”

“Why does everything end so confrontational with you?” Hangyul shakes his head.

Hana looks at Seungwoo one more time before gathering her belongings and storming out.

That night, Minju left the bar with a fake smile and Seungwoo followed her. They walked down a stone path and sat on a bench where they talk to each other about their worries.

The melancholy music played and you see Hana in her room. She is sitting on the window sill looking up at the night sky. She feels even lonelier in the single room without her father’s kind words to lift her up.

Hana closes her eyes and wishes that she would wake up gone.

The sun rays through your window blinds wake you. The first thing you feel was the heavy feeling in your chest. It was not until you wipe your face that you realize the tears that you shed.

You get up and see Kim Hana’s bedroom. Everything was clearer to you now. ‘Is this my second chance?’

You look at the dull interior of Hana’s bedroom. But why were you given someone else’s life to live? This was especially weird because you were a character in a drama.

You get up from bed and open Kim Hana’s closet. You quickly look through her clothes and then look at her desk.

Other than the busy desk that was Kim Hana’s studying sanctuary, her room was similar to yours. It was clean and almost looked like no one lived in the room. The color of the clothes were all muted or black and white. Hana had almost no make up or any items that young girls in their twenties would have.

You then remember the real Kim Hana in the beginning of the drama. She came from a single parent household. Her father would shower her with praise and try to play both roles of a mother’s warm love and a father’s protection. It was not until a traumatizing event that turned her sour. She took her father’s praise and turned herself conceited. Her personality made her the target of bullying and it ultimately lead up to setting up a defense for herself.

When she was accepted to her dream college, all she wanted was to graduate with top marks. She wanted to be the top, where no one could touch her and was willing to do anything to protect her pride.

Her backstory was a melancholy one, but it never excused all the horrible things Kim Hana did throughout the drama. She was meant to be an antagonist.

You could change it.

You didn’t have the same experiences as Kim Hana.

You were a blank paper.

A light bulb popped up in your mind and you grabbed a pen and post-it notes.

Go to Han River and bask in the sun. +Get a tan.

Join a fun club at school.

Get a part time job.

You blow your cheeks, ‘What else did I want to do?’

Go on a trip with a big group friends people.

You start sticking up the post-it notes on your wall and scratch your chin in contemplation. You were only basing these experiences from what you saw in the dramas. ‘We’ll start with this for now.’

You check your phone for the the date.

It was a Friday morning. You smile at the perfect timing. ‘Right before the weekend.’

You continue to search through Hana’s phone and read the text message from Yohan.

Now that everything was clearer to you, you remembered exactly what was going to happen at the 5PM meeting and wasn’t going to be pretty.

You have a choice of acting exactly how she was going to or save the both of you.

You look at your bucket list wall, ‘If I need people for my trip, then the engineering department would be the best bet, right?’

You bite down a foolish smile just thinking about a trip to outdoor setting. You were given a second chance to live your life and you were going to live to the fullest.

‘If I’m going to be Kim Hana, I gotta be comfortable walking in her shoes.’ You open Kim Hana’s closet and try to find the brightest colored shirt. Deep into the closet there was a plain yellow t-shirt. You pull it out from closet and pair it with light wash denim jeans.

If there was one thing Kim Hana hated it was bright colors. The female lead and her had that great distinction from each other. Kim Hana’s cold personality showed through her clothing. On the other hand, the female lead, although a little clumsy, was always dressed like a flower in the spring.

You take off the calendar that blocked the closet mirror and stood in front of it. ‘Now that you’re actually wearing something colorful, you’re not half bad, Kim Hana.’

The small change did not end there. You find a scrunchie inside one of the drawers and pull your hair back to tie into a high ponytail. Kim Hana’s dark long locks always felt stuffy, just like her. You tilt your head to one side and then the other side. You check out all angles of your new hairstyle and smile, “Kim Hana, I’ll make sure to take care of this life.”

Hey, you’re going over the line.

Me? Why did you even invite someone from a different department, Lee Hangyul?

If I knew you were going, I wouldn’t have come.

Good to know. I’m leaving. Have fun.

“I know you don’t like me, but passing by me like you didn’t know me is a little much.”

You look up at him, tired from the whole day and the visions you were having, “Lee Hangyul?”

“I knew you wouldn’t forget. I’m in multiple of your classes, unfortunately.” he says sarcastically.

“I’m really tired right now, is there something you want to say?”

Hangyul studies your face intently and sees your half lidded eyes and droopy shoulders. He looks down and lightly kicks at the ground, “You’re welcome.” He scoffs and walks away from you. “Why did I even help that brat?”

“Kim Hana obviously did not have a good relationship with him.” you deducted.

You reach your dorm and enter your room using your keypad. You remembered everything about the place you were in. Kim Hana spent multiple nights in the dorm trying her best to study. You try to search deeper into your memory and finally take out one of your notebooks to write about everything you remember.

Kim Hana - Studious student in the engineering department. Smart, but a little mean? does not work well in social situations.

Kim Yohan - College of physical education. Taekwondo club member.

Lee Hangyul - Engineering classmate. Does not get along with me Kim Hana.

You start to tap the pen on your desk and try to remember more names.

Cho Seungyoun, Kim Wooseok, Han Seungwoo

You write down three more names, but couldn’t match a face to any of them.

You look around your dorm to find other clues to this sudden memory loss or whatever this was. You open the curtains to your dorm and the night sky triggers a vision.

You close your eyes to focus. Suddenly, a tune starts to play in your head. It had a melancholy tone with a huge climax and multiple scenes start playing in your mind.

I hate her.

Just give her a chance, Hana. You can count the girls in your classes with one hand. Might as well create some sort of feminine pact?

She better stay away from Seungwoo-sunbae.

Yah, Kim Hana. I really don’t care what you say about me, but keep Hangyul out of your mouth.

Isn’t your friendship amazing?

I’m sure you know nothing of that.

And I’m sure you know nothing at all.

Why am I even fighting a freshman? Why can’t you be like Minju?

Seungwoo-sunbae, I’m going to need some help. This is the first time I’m ever doing soldering.

Sure, Hana. I’ll be happy to help you. Why don’t you come to room 401 in the engineering building tomorrow? I’m helping Minju with that too.

Minju? Kim Minju?

Yeah, I know there aren’t many girls in this department so I want to help you girls as much as I can.

Why me? Aren’t you interested in Seungwoo like every other girl in this damn sausage fest of a department?

You come in second place every single competition, but that doesn’t mean you’re not as good at him. Wait, it kinda does.

You suck at sympathizing.

Also, I know your little secret, Wooseok-sunbae. So you can just drop your act because I just might blurt it out by accident.

You open your eyes and take a sharp gasp.

This was not memory loss.

You cover your mouth in disbelief as your eyes dart around, “The Heartbreak Club.”