Eriq Nelson

Hello The Internet. I thought today is a good day to post a speech I made at my Mom’s wedding a few years ago. In Washington DC the  Religious Freedom And Civil Marriage Equality Amendment Act 2009 was passed on October 6, 2009. This allowed my parents to get married after a lifetime of love. Still, in Virginia where they live, their marriage was not recognized until July 28, 2014 because some people are bigoted assholes. Today there are thousands of families just like mine who can feel the joy of light for the first time after so many years of fear and darkness. Ten thousand blessings on you and your family. I love you all.

Image: Art from my Mom to Nome from when they were first dating.

Many times I’m asked about my parents. Evidently many people find my family weird. It is. All the best families are.

Weird is a relative term. In my case, I’m related directly to the weird. Not weird in a bad way. Unusual. Out of the norm. The norm, sadly, has been people locked into mutual contempt and the apathetic stranglehold of false commitments. It brings me great joy to think this declines in the world as we grow as a society.

As long as Mom and Nome have been together, I have never seen a trace of that apathy. They flirt like 20 year olds in a bar and take simple pleasure in each others company. They make me jealous. Extremely so. They also give me hope. Hope that one day I can find a partner that will share the richness of long association and mutual love.

So many of my friends growing up labored in broken households and cold, lifeless families. Ours has never been that way and it is not an accident. It is the direct result of the commitment before you, in these two people. Not a commitment to simply be together or share space in a house, but to share in living and engage each other in the art of it. It is every day a choice to remain and every day is as new as the dawn.

I have never considered their love to be anything other than a shining example of human potential and if anyone thinks that they should not be married legally; they are my enemy and I will destroy them. As Ani Difranco said “The personal and the political are of one realm; to separate them is artificial.” I have never felt so strongly about anything in my life and it thrills me beyond reckoning to see this day come. For years we lived in fear of an unjust system and its archaic and pathological notions of family. This day has passed us by and so we sing.

In my past I have offered my humble observations and inherited wisdom to couples starting off on this path. Most of this has come from watching my parents live, and listening closely when they speak. So instead I’d like to share with you beautiful people a bit of what’s rubbed off on me.

Recognize a stupid argument and let it pass.

Listen. Do not wait for your chance to speak.

Laugh as often as possible.

Love wildly, everything and everyone around you without prejudice.

Everything bad in the world is made better with a cup of tea.

Home is a respite from the wilderness of the world, keep it sacred.

My parents have affected me in ways I cannot find words for. Because it is not a thing made of words. It is made of action, a hug and an open ear. It is hard work. It is infinite patience and compassion. It is a gift without measure. It is the light of my parents reflected in my open eyes.