𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃.

“well here we go.” finally at the zoo after it took a bunch of chaos to get here between getting sebastian ready then the traffic, he felt like he had already visited the zoo. it’s a little hot out so axl just finished applying a smear of sun lotion against sebastian’s cheeks after stuffing the bottle back into the diaper bag, keeping the hood on the stroller covered over him too before pushing him towards the first exhibit of giraffes. “oh look! we found duff. didn’t know duff would be here,” he points, amusement painting his face while a gust of concession food and hay weirdly mix together filling his senses. “they’re cute, but i wish they had dolphins here. they are probably my favorite besides penguins. or wolves.” thinking out loud, remembering he just said that last night too when erin asked him.

“yay! we’ve made it! look where we are, sebastian! are you going to make some new friends today?” erin chirps in a sing-song voice, beaming as she falls into step beside her husband, one hand resting on the stroller handle for a moment, fingers brushing against his in a silent reassurance that everything will be okay. she sometimes wonders how single mothers do stuff like this. she’s already almost given up twice today — once at breakfast when sebastian spilled grape juice all over himself and they had to change him and then again in the traffic when he got cranky because the trip was taking too long. “thought he was back at the hotel. hi, duff! look, he’s got a sister, too,” she laughs, squinting up at the giraffes stretching their impossibly long necks toward the leaves. she crouches down beside sebastian’s stroller, pointing to the big animals, curious to see her son’s reaction to something so exotic. “what do you think, baby? aren’t they awesome?” his bright green eyes are filled with wonderment, hands clapping as curious gurgles escape his lips. “i’ll take that as a yes,” she muses, standing back up and fixing her sunglasses. “oh, that’s true. dolphins are so cute! but no aquariums in the bronx,” she announces with exaggerated disappointment, tilting the brochure so axl can see for himself. her eyes skim farther down the list before brightening. “but…” she taps the paper, “groupies, i mean, chimpanzees are over here, and then penguins aren’t too far from them.” folding the map halfway closed again, she smiles at the older redhead and reaches up to poke his cheek, frowning briefly and asking, “do you have sunscreen on?”

"then again... i dunno about awful parents. kid's got room service, a king-size bed, and two idiots who're obsessed with him. i'd say he's livin' better than i was." axl chuckles, unable to stop looking at him now, entirely obsessed with the tiny human that looks so much like him and then his grin widens when she practically vibrates at the mention of the zoo. "yeah sweetheart, that's a yes." nodding, looking over at his cigarettes, getting a craving for one but trying to hold off. "soundcheck will survive without me for a couple hours. slash will probably enjoy not hearin' me bitch at him for once." not like he enjoyed soundcheck anyway. "i'm not sure- i think he will like them but he also could get spooked." the thought of their son toddling around the zoo though paints itself so vividly in his mind that he can't help smile at until another thing makes him smile as emeralds lift on her, he can see through the mirror reflecting in the bedroom. erin's standing there with damp skin, hair a little messy from washing her face, no makeup and she has absolutely no idea she's taking his breath away. she really is the most beautiful woman to him even when he recognized there was a lot of them in the world.

“well, when you put it this way, he’s definitely living the dream. not many one-year-olds can say they’ve traveled the country with their parents and stayed at five-star hotels.” letting out a quiet laugh, she rubs a moisturizing cream into her clean skin and walks out of the bathroom. she doesn’t want to wake up the baby but can’t help herself, tiptoeing to his crib to marvel at him. two idiots who are obsessed with him is right, she thinks, smiling because she’s never seen a more perfect baby. “you know what? this rockstar life isn’t so bad, after all,” she coos, blowing the sleeping baby a kiss and getting under the covers. “it shouldn’t be an issue, right?” if he’s late for soundcheck or skips it altogether. “they’re grown ups. they can manage without you.” she doesn’t say it out loud because she really wants to go to the zoo, but it’s hard to imagine things working out without axl present. their friends will most likely take it as the opportunity to get drunk and high before noon. still, they’re all adults. they know what they’re doing. “we’ll definitely be back before the show.” so everything should work out. “i can’t wait to see what animals will be his favorite. i could spend hours by the elephants’ enclosure when i was his age but i have a feeling he won’t love them as much. what animal was your favorite?” she blushes faintly, feeling his eyes on her. scooting closer until her chin’s resting on his chest, leg slipping between his, and she’s gazing right back up at him, wondering how it’s possible that this is truly their life. “i love you,” she coos, meaning every word. “we should get some sleep.”

great, to make things even more wonderful erin had to show up and catch him right as he's being handcuffed and hearing this woman portray him out to be some villain than he really was. yeah he fucked up but he wasn't as bad as she was blabbing off about to erin, filling her head with all kinds of shit. this is by far the most horrible moment of his life and he's experienced a lot of those. "she's runnin' her mouth on things from a month ago." axl corrects, okay maybe last week... but whatever. "it'll be fine erin, they're always picking on me even when i'm not doing anything. it's nothin' new. don't worry about it, we'll catch ice cream next time! i'm SORRY." saying it casually so hopefully she doesn't worry when it breaks his heart to see her yelling after him, being pushed into the police car and the door slamming shut in his face.

“he’s done it before and he’ll do it again, i’m tellin’ you now! he hit me! he hit me in front of all of you! i’ve got witnesses. oh, he’s scared of nothing. he’s the devil himself! i know your mother, bill. that poor woman must be ashamed of you! in a few years, he’ll straight up murder someone, and you’ll remember my words and wish you’d done more when you had the chance,” the woman rages, keeping a protective hand on her crying kid’s shoulder. the words only serve to annoy erin, that witch’s voice like a nagging background noise. her heart tells her that they’re not true. she knows the real him. he’s smart and kind and laughs at her jokes and helps her with homework, never gets angry when she asks him to reexplain something, always protects her. even if he did steal that bike, he gave it back! if he hit that witch, she’d surely earned it. but her mind disagrees, finding the whole scene disturbing. “he didn’t do it, okay? i swear, he didn’t! he doesn’t steal things from people! just let him go, please!” erin calls out after the cops but they pay no attention to her. in their eyes, she’s just another lovesick kid who’ll say anything to keep her beloved delinquent out of trouble. “don’t worry about ice cream. you stay safe, okay? we’ll get you out,” she promises, wiping away the tears that just keep coming regardless of how hard she tries to keep her composure. her heart’s pounding, adrenaline coursing through her veins, and she has to fight the urge to run after the police car as it takes off, like a puppy abandoned on the side of the road. “ma’am,” the witch’s turned her attention to venetia, whispering, “if it was my daughter, i wouldn’t let her hang out with that boy. he’s no good and he’s only gonna get worse. next thing you know, he’ll be beatin’ her.”

"flowers die and poem's are forever, so." a cocky smile graces features, giving a shrug. particularly liking that a lot because of his disdain towards taryn, taryn can kiss his ass. bitch. axl slips his hand into hers and pulls her down the hall and out of their condo, closing the door shut behind and down the elevator. passing through the cozy lobby, they step out into the californian sun and he's squinting against the light trailing to the space his bmw sits in. unlocking it, he ushers erin in first and then closes the door before circling around the front, climbing in on the drivers side and starting the sports car to get the ac going. reaching for his aviators, he slides them onto his face and then buckles up, waiting for her to do the same before he will take off. "so what store should we head to? sears or something?"

“mhm, exactly my thoughts,” she chirps in agreement, nodding her head and squeezing his hand for emphasis. “besides, anyone can buy you flowers. all they need is money. it takes a special person to write a poem about you.” as the elevator door slides shut, she presses up on her tiptoes and kisses him softly, trying not to smile too mischievously once they part ways and his mouth’s a bit more rosy than usual. the pad of her thumb comes to the rescue, rubbing the color away. the door reopens in the lobby, and she briefly wonders if all the people there know just how madly in love they are simply by looking at them. she hopes so, hopes the whole world knows just how much she loves him. she clings to his arm and murmurs, “you smell real good.” whatever cologne it is, it’s her favorite. “i don’t understand people who don’t like how warm it is,” she randomly comments once they’re outside, being blinded by the sun. she lets go of his arm and does a little spin, feeling so light and happy. “oh,” only then noticing he’s holding the door for her, she slips past him and climbs inside, “thank you, handsome.” she buckles up, grateful for the ac as it begins to hum once the key’s in the ignition. it’s way too hot in here, the leather a little uncomfortable on the bare skin of her legs. “mhm, sears. i’ve bee thinking about sears. they have a lot to choose from.” she turns the radio on, gasping audibly, recognizing the iconic guitar riff and squealing, “axl! they’re playing my song! can you believe that?” she’ll be old and gray and still react the same way, hearing it. it’s even more special because they were just talking about it.

“love you too.” soft smile tugs at his lips, hand falling down her back. “yeah exactly.” an awkward chuckle sounds from him, “that’s how passionate about it i am.” he adds, shrugging gently because he’s always serious about it. especially when he feels guilt for causing it. “happy birthdayyyy to us.” laughing at her playing back while he sing songs the line, liking that he can always count on her to play back. smiling additionally at the kiss he earns, happily returning the love. “alright! now i’m really happy… that’s the best news for me.” it will feel like he has apart of his home with him when he doesn’t want to be locked in this tour to begin with, knowing erins coming makes it less of a dread now. feeling elated while he gets lost in drying his hair until thats done and goes over it with a comb and some hair product to get rid of frizz he learned off the salon, layered and straight to his head. wiping his hands off, he goes for putting some pieces of jewelry onto his wrists and his black leather watch.

“more than anything and anyone in the world?” she questions playfully in a sing-song voice, smiling as her husband’s hand travels down her back, leaving a trail of goosebumps along her spine. “i still think about it, you know? i remember that day,” when he first handed her the slip of paper that was to become one of the most beautiful songs ever written, “as if it was yesterday. you were so nervous and i initially thought you came over to break up with me.” she shakes her head and lets out a soft laugh, wishing they could go back in time and relive that day. “i’m so excited. it’s gonna be fun.” or so she hopes. she’s reluctant to slip out of his embrace but they have to get going unless they plan on having dinner at midnight. they still have to get new lamps for their nightstands. while he’s taking care of his hair, she sits down at her vanity to lightly dry her hair so it won’t get frizzy and put on some make-up. nothing too showy, just a little liquid foundation that she blends in with her fingertips, then a light dusting of powder over her nose so it won’t get shiny before the night’s over, a sweep of peach blush onto her cheeks. champagne shimmer across her lids first, then a little soft taupe in the crease. she smudges a dark pencil into her upper lashes until the line softens, then blinks through a careful coat of mascara. the lipstick always takes the longest for some reason. she twists up her favorite dusty rose tube and presses it carefully over her lips before blotting once with a tissue. by the time axl’s putting on his watch, she’s clasping on her light brown wedges. pale blue eyes glancing up, she blushes at the mere sight of him and coos, “you’re so handsome.”

“yeeeeah, more than anything and anyone in the world.” axl laughs, playfully rolling his eyes despite how much she also makes him upset better than anyone else in the world. “yeah and i was nervous you’d hate it and think it was terrible. or so corny or somethin’.” shoulders shrug, shy smile residing on his usually chaotic face as he chuckles. those are the best memories that stay tucked in the back of his mind securely, though. before all of the fighting ever began. cleaning the bathroom up, he’s just tidying the counter top before turning to her with a glowing smile, thinking she looks so beautiful. “thanks, beautiful.” he kisses her forehead so he doesn’t mess up her makeup, moving past and going to the drawer to snatch boxers and then a pair of jeans from the closet. his cologne and soap lingers in the air, getting dressed while watching out for the busted shit. once he gets his combat boots on with his jeans and soft black blazer, he goes to the kitchen to get a broom, pan and garbage can to sweep it up real quick. quicker he sweeps the quicker the memories vanish with it. dumping the rest of the lamp and it’s pieces in the can, he takes that back to the kitchen. “okay i’m ready.” Axl announces after grabbing the keys and his wallet from the counter.

“well, that’s good because i love you more than anything and anyone in the world, too,” the curly-haired brunette coos with a smile, satisfied with his answer and the way he rolls his eyes. “who did you take me for, huh? some bratty valley girl who’d laugh at a dorky indiana boy?” she teases lightly, marveling at the shy look on his face, thinking about how much she adores it. she still has the slip of paper on which he’d originally scribbled the lyrics down, plans to hold onto it forever. “you make all the other guys look lame. i mean it. like, taryn says her boyfriend gets her flowers every time they go out, and i’m like, but does he write poems about you? think not. mine does both,” she brags, playfully flipping dark curls over her shoulder. “beautiful. thanks for cleaning that up,” she says shyly, embarrassed now that she’s no longer angry, glancing down at her toes as if that particular shade of pink nail polish was the most interesting thing in the world, avoiding his gaze because she feels silly. “are we still getting pink lamps? remember? you said i could pick whatever color i liked,” she mumbles, heading to the closet to pick a bag that will look good with her dress. “so am i!” she calls out, joining him in the living room, arms curling around his. “let’s go get ourselves some lamps.”

“love you too.” soft smile tugs at his lips, hand falling down her back. “yeah exactly.” an awkward chuckle sounds from him, “that’s how passionate about it i am.” he adds, shrugging gently because he’s always serious about it. especially when he feels guilt for causing it. “happy birthdayyyy to us.” laughing at her playing back while he sing songs the line, liking that he can always count on her to play back. smiling additionally at the kiss he earns, happily returning the love. “alright! now i’m really happy… that’s the best news for me.” it will feel like he has apart of his home with him when he doesn’t want to be locked in this tour to begin with, knowing erins coming makes it less of a dread now. feeling elated while he gets lost in drying his hair until thats done and goes over it with a comb and some hair product to get rid of frizz he learned off the salon, layered and straight to his head. wiping his hands off, he goes for putting some pieces of jewelry onto his wrists and his black leather watch.

“more than anything and anyone in the world?” she questions playfully in a sing-song voice, smiling as her husband’s hand travels down her back, leaving a trail of goosebumps along her spine. “i still think about it, you know? i remember that day,” when he first handed her the slip of paper that was to become one of the most beautiful songs ever written, “as if it was yesterday. you were so nervous and i initially thought you came over to break up with me.” she shakes her head and lets out a soft laugh, wishing they could go back in time and relive that day. “i’m so excited. it’s gonna be fun.” or so she hopes. she’s reluctant to slip out of his embrace but they have to get going unless they plan on having dinner at midnight. they still have to get new lamps for their nightstands. while he’s taking care of his hair, she sits down at her vanity to lightly dry her hair so it won’t get frizzy and put on some make-up. nothing too showy, just a little liquid foundation that she blends in with her fingertips, then a light dusting of powder over her nose so it won’t get shiny before the night’s over, a sweep of peach blush onto her cheeks. champagne shimmer across her lids first, then a little soft taupe in the crease. she smudges a dark pencil into her upper lashes until the line softens, then blinks through a careful coat of mascara. the lipstick always takes the longest for some reason. she twists up her favorite dusty rose tube and presses it carefully over her lips before blotting once with a tissue. by the time axl’s putting on his watch, she’s clasping on her light brown wedges. pale blue eyes glancing up, she blushes at the mere sight of him and coos, “you’re so handsome.”

hearing her words, he lets them sit on his heart for a long moment before the weight of them starts to feel too heavy. “i’d rather die too.” all those times he did live without her felt like dying. “don’t cry, erin. you know i’ll start in next…” he frowns when he sees her face, hand immediately coming to cup her cheek, thumb swiping the tears from her skin away. chuckling at his own words to try and make something lighthearted out of it, but its true… two more seconds and he will tear up too. “me too, though. more than anything.” worst feeling in the world for him and that’s say a lot compared to all the horrible feelings he has felt along the way during this whole life journey in his twenty something years. “i’m alright, i really am… don’t worry about me. i’m doing good.” tattooed arms squeeze her tight when she comes to cling to him, kissing her back just as soft then landing one on her forehead. “yeah it does,” agreeing with a nerdy smile, squeezing her one more time before forcing his arms to drop to grab another towel, “want this one for your hair?” he questions before leaning over the tub to let the water out.

“yeah?” she mouths, unsure whether she’s supposed to find solace in his words or more heartache. “feels like i’ve already died when you’re not around.” part of her is happy to hear that the feeling’s mutual, that he loves her in this crazy, twisted way, too, but another part wishes that they could just have a good life together. a healthy marriage. “don’t cry, look…” she smiles up at him, letting him wipe away her tears even though the sadness lingers. “i’m not crying now.” feeling like her heart might just burst into a million tiny pieces if she keeps looking into her husband’s eyes, she wraps her arms around his neck and hugs him a little tighter. “i hate fighting with people in general but when we’re fighting, it’s like the world’s ending.” when she’s sad or hurt, he’s the only person she wants to run to. he’s her person. when they’re fighting, she can’t run to her person. “think i’ll always worry about you,” she sighs, letting him comfort her, smiling sweetly when he kisses her forehead. there’s something special about forehead kisses. “yes, thank you very much, kind sir,” she muses with a laugh, taking the towel from his hands and wrapping her curls up in it. she leans over the row of candles, figuring they should blow them out before they leave, and jokingly asks, “want to help me out with these? make a wish?”

“well, me too.” but he just doesn’t want to dwell on that when he’s still riding on this high that everything CAN be okay between them. that in some naive belief that really was the last fight between them and they’re going to make it, thinking the opposite like she’s doing just isn’t logical for himself. he doesn’t want to think like that at all when it brings him that horrible depressing feel. “that’s good cause you know i hate seein’ you cry, beautiful girl.” he leans in and kisses her cheek bones, holding her face delicately, eyes scanning over her visage. “nothin’ to worry about, honey.” shaking his head, nuzzling into her cheek before finally slipping away to get her second towel. standing back, he’s gathering the hair dryer, pushing the diffuser on while she’s taking care of her hair. “huh? oh… yeah, happy birthday to us!” shouting obnoxiously with a dumb grin. placing the dryer down, he smacks her bottom over the towel and reaches over her shoulder to blow.

“i love you, baby,” erin coos with a smile, turning around to blow her husband a kiss. she doesn’t want to dwell on their fights, how often simple disagreements and misunderstandings can turn into battles, and so she focuses on the task at hand and gets back to towel-drying her curls. “the whole world knows that,” she quips, beaming as she hangs up the wet towel on a rack. “you put it in a song.” that he doesn’t like to see an ounce of pain in her eyes. to this day, it’s the sweetest thing he’s ever done for her. she remembers swooning over the poem all those years back. even now, it sometimes hits her just how romantic that was. “yay! happy birthday to us! thanks for the help,” she giggles, blushing at the smack to her butt, not even trying to hide just how smitten she is. they blow out the candles and she turns around to kiss him softly. this is what she always wishes for. the two of them together. happy. carefree. madly in love. “well, i won’t be worrying so much now that i’ll be coming with you.” on tour. it’s settled, she decides. she’ll get to keep an eye on him and they’ll both be happy. “be right back, handsome.” she trails to the bedroom to put on nice lingerie and a light blue sundress.