Airwerckah.

06-18-2018 12:13AM edited 06-18-2018 10:35pm

Oh my gawd, YES! Answers like this are why I enjoy when people respond. I love thought provoking topics.

I think that is one of the biggest things I struggle with as well. That balance is something I believe is attainable, but it is also something that must be worked on. Let me explain what I mean based on my personal experience.

With anyone I realize I want to start knowing more about, regardless if it’s romantic or not, I’ve noticed my head just wants to learn. I want to know as much about you, your family, what you want in your future, the music you listen to, etc. I want to know what makes you, you. I want to learn how I can support you and how to be a light in your life.

Now, with all of that crazy being said, allllllll of those things are wants that I personally have to actively dial tf back. I’ve realized I cannot force your entire life into a few direct questions. Meshing takes time, but the major key to notice in the beginning of any potential bond is the other person’s willingness to open up and potentially let you be in their life. That’s a key part. You HAVE to understand the energy and role you are WANTING someone to play versus the energy you are actually GETTING. Oof. I’ve messed that up a fewww times.

Communication is the absolute biggest and most important aspect with any form of relationship. It was the demise of my last relationship and it caused some problems for me even last week. If you are not on the same page then someone will be very confused and eventually conflict will occur whether the other is aware of those feelings or not. So, swallow your pride, and then say that sht in your brain you’ve been wanting to ask.

Say you find someone who is right there with you and fits nicely in with your life, I think it’s also important to be aware that once you are attached to someone, and they are attached you to, that things are going to change. I think relationships CAN deviate your plans a little bit. That doesn’t mean you can’t get back on track, but you also have to be aware that involving another person will require some of your energy that you would maybe be putting towards something else. And, do not let that scare you away. Finding your PIC and someone to share your life with is a very beautiful thing. I could be super wrong about all of this, but I know for me that is what happened in my last relationship because he was a valuable priority to me. Being long distance meant I wanted to spend my time in person with him, and that took time away from other areas of my life. I still don’t regret any of that, and I wouldn’t trade any of those moments for anything.

I think you have to be aware that you are ultimately in control of the people you let into your life, and you are in control of the amount of time you focus on them. Also, be aware that with the important relationships, you get out what you put in. You cannot expect people to be there for you if you’re never there for them. Lastly, the best attractions and bonds, romantic or not, are ones you find unexpectedly. Just let life happen a little bit, but also be aware we attract what we focus on. :)

Love,

05-20-2018 6:04PM

Sometimes on cloudy days like this I find myself thinking more about the ones who are no more. It’s not that they’re actually dead, they’re just dead to me.

I once explained to an ex friend who was going through a breakup that it helps to establish a death date for the loved ones who are no longer a part of your life. At that point the person you once knew no longer exists. I like to use the phrase, “A stranger with a familiar face.”

Most times I try not to engage in their lives anymore. I don’t like pictures, I don’t watch stories, I mute them on socials where I can, I stop checking to see what they’re listening to, I stop asking questions about them. For the most part I’ve gotten pretty good at that. Other times I relapse.

For me, it’s extremely hard to forget someone who once meant so much. I struggle immensely with insecure attachments. I struggle with accepting someone is better off without me because I feel I’m one of the most supportive and understanding people. Those who are in my life sometimes express their gratitude for my presence and say it’s rare among my age group. I never disagree with them. At the same time I’ve also learned boundaries when it comes to giving myself and my time.

Over the past month I’ve been in the process of learning how to once again let someone go. The ironic part is that in most cases I’m the one to end the relationship. I just get to a point where I can’t take the lack of consistency or effort and I stand up for myself. It’s one thing to be broken up with and hurt. It’s an entirely different thing to be the one ending the relationship while still caring for the individual, but still choosing sanity and the opportunity to be better without their added stress.

I still don’t understand why I’m like this. I don’t understand how I get to a breaking point where I just can’t keep being there. You know, I always say it’s the other person’s fault in most cases because it just feels like they interact when it’s convenient for them, and that’s selfish, and I’m worth more than that, but at the same time I wonder why all of the people I’ve loved and let go somehow got me to that point? It happens more than I’d like it to and the common denominator is me. So how do I fix that character flaw of mine when I don’t have a diagnosis for it yet?

I’ve learned a lot about myself in the last three years, but even more in the past year. I’ve dealt with a lot of demons who have faces and names while others just exist in my headspace on dark days where I listen too closely to my insecurities.

You know, I try to learn a lot about the dynamic I have with my father. Without going into too much detail because even though I want to talk about that topic I know it’s in my best interest to just let most of what happens dissipate. Out of my respect for him whether he deserves it or not I take into account that while he does create a great deal of hurt in my life that many do not know of, he has also fought very hard to create the best life within his ability for his family financially. I realize that takes a toll on a person. I realize having a difficult childhood can harden a person without their knowledge. At the same time I find it very challenging to let someone use excuses for how they treat people. If you do not like something about yourself I truly believe you have the capability to reassess and change yourself in most cases both physically and mentally. That is no one else’s job but your own. I find it heartbreaking to have a middle aged person be content with their ability to upset those closest to them, to not actively repair their hurtful behaviors, and to continue on as if they are never wrong. Also, when they don’t see it as a problem it’s even more difficult to cope with. It’s like he has an addiction to rage and just keeps feeding it. When he gets to a certain point there’s no going back. The darkness lives in his eyes in the moment. His face turns into something I’d describe as a mask of a dog foaming at the mouth. His jaw extends more. The veins in his neck and face bulge. Anyways, that really fucking sucks, and it’s not even just me in the family it affects. I’m just the only one who has to write things down to work out a conclusion to problems. Even my mom said I have a way with words, but who really knows? I feel crazy because I ..

I’ve found it can be quite difficult for me personally to have close relationships with people who eventually start treating me in ways I feel disrespected and hurt by their interactions or lack there of. I suppose that’s why I find it easier to just cut the chord. Also, let it be known that if I ask for you to treat me better and then you fail to do so and I or we stop trying completely, then there’s the answer. I have always spoken up before I’ve let go and at that point it’s already apparent they’re done. I’m still holding on to the kerosine rope and they just lit the match. I can either hold on and continue that pain, or let go, meet the ground, and then eventually pick myself back up.

After my last breakup his mom and I had lunch a week or so later and she mentioned something about it being easier and having less worry once someone is no longer a part of my life and I said I disagreed with that statement. Just because I do not reach out to you anymore by no means actually means I no longer care about you. If anything it feels worse because now there’s no longer that channel for communication.

There are certain people I still think about everyday, several times a day, and I haven’t had any interaction with them for months or years. 1) I’m too stubborn to message or leave any digital sign of caring. 2) I would feel the embarrassment of being rejected wayyyy too much. 3) Sometimes if the universe wills individuals to be together then it’s meant to be. 4) Hun, you gave up first.

I will say this. Recently in just a normal, non aggressive conversation I had with my father he mentioned that he just forgets my younger brother and I exist. He didn’t say that to upset me or get a rise out of me. I could tell he just genuinely does not think of us or about us. He doesn’t check in with us. He did try for a little bit to better our relationship after what happened in November. That’s just how it goes though. It gets bad, it gets better, rinse and repeat.

Now, I’ve always said I have daddy issues and now that I’m older I understand why and why those behaviors and tendencies happen. I can detect why I start feeling or wanting to do things and I now have the ability to remove myself from situations I shouldn’t be in. That’s a good thing. On the flip side it’s a very hard thing have to fight what you want to do even if you know that thing isn’t serving your best interest.

Added 06-09-2018 7:13AM

I’ve noticed it’s a lot more difficult for me to interact with people I first start to care about sometimes. I know there are people who aren’t fans of texting, of being on their phones, etc. With that said I am an expert at thinking the worst when someone doesn’t respond for almost a whole day or several hours. I understand they are busy, and I understand I’m dedicating too much mental energy to this person, and yet I can’t stop, and when there’s that silence my brain automatically says, “They’re done.” It’s just like this cycle of feeling abandoned and then they always message back or sometimes after a day they actually message first, so I feel better, and then bam I feel abandoned. What tha fuxk is that brain?

Grace always calms me down and puts into perspective that it’s all in my head, and she’s right, but damn it takes its toll on me. If I could change one thing about myself right now it would be having the ability to not feel so much distress by giving others that type of power over me. And I know it’s just because I care, I care too much, but sheesh sometimes I think I need to legitimately go to therapy because this is the one area I can’t seem to find a method to get better.

I’ve taught myself how to read situations and how to navigate certain friendships. I’ve learned how to control my anger. I’ve brought myself back from two separate times I was suicidal. S/o to that blue box cutter and those hydros. Fuxk you. I’ve always managed to forgive my father and let him back into my life. I’ve learned how to sacrifice my ego for the sake of curiosity. But conquering my abandonment issues as a whole? Nope. This is my new challenge. I suppose this is good because now I can start researching and figuring out how to reprogram my brain for this too.

I suppose this is where I stop writing. In this moment it feels sort of dry sooooo….

Love,

05-06-2018 9:50AM

April 19, 2018 5:24PM

I feel like I’ve been distant from sharing real and meaningful content for a while. Whether that be through playlists, poetry, tumblr posts about some life sht or whatever, I just didn’t feel the need to share. Events were hard to process even with support from those closest to me let alone publishing things on the internet for people who only half know me. I didn’t want questions or sympathy. If I’m being honest my life has been pretty weird since November. I’ve learned to adjust to so many situations, people, and to who I am as a person. I’ve strengthened some friendships, met new incredible people, and I’ve also had to distance myself from others or vice versa.

I started writing poetry and songs when I was 16. In January of 2018 I suddenly was no longer able to write. Writing was always something that would just happen. It’s something I would always wish my brain would turn off. It was annoying. It made me feel weird because I don’t know anyone else who writes like I did. After I poured my heart into the explanation of my playlist series A Slow Death I felt tapped tf out. It’s now been 4 months and I’ve decided that while that massive part of creativity in my life may be over, for now, other areas are starting to breathe.

I think photography and editing is that thing. It’s something I’ve been fundamentally studying, learning, practicing, and now I feel comfortable enough to share. It can be really scary to put your work out for the world to judge. I am aware probably nobody is reading this, listens to the playlists I’ve made, read work I’ve written, etc., but at the same time it in many ways is like opening up my heart and putting it on display for everyone to see. That can be both liberating and terrifying. Will they think I’m crazy? Will they understand what I’m meaning here? What if they think badly of me? Until you have put out work from your soul for anyone to judge I don’t know if you’ll understand. Anyways, back briefly to the topic, to me, photography is like capturing a mini story or evoking a mood. I’m good at moods–creating them and controlling them. That’s why I love music so much.

That’s another thing. I have such a love hate relationship with music. Playlists can become journals to me. That’s why I always write the date and time they were created. I used to write phrases in their descriptions to summarize what was going on in my life while still being all cryptic or moody. Sometimes, I go through periods where I really hate music—certain artists, albums, songs, or playlists. It hurts too much. The memories hurt too much. Other times I’m able to step back and reminisce responsibly, but those people and memories never truly fade. It just takes time to find that peace.

I stopped doing my weekly Love Waves playlist series because I felt so detached from the music and who I had been when I was first excited about creating the series. It really hurt to say goodbye to that series. It really hurt to release that three part playlist series. It hurt, but I felt strong if that makes sense. In November I had to really learn to stick up for myself and unfortunately that carried over into other aspects of my social life.

I’ve realized I’m not good with closure. I’ve realized even when I should walk away from people who affect my mental health negatively, more than positively, I struggle to do so. I can’t just walk away no matter how much the other person has hurt me. Ask my father. I like solving problems. I always want to work things out. Family and people I treat like family are a high priority even when they don’t treat me with that same level of respect. However, I have grown to be much better at recognizing connections that have gone sour and letting that energy dissipate. There’s no hard feelings, there’s no gaping hole in my heart, there’s just progression for everyone.

I’ve learned how to be alone and not feel lonely. I’ve learned to see as much good in a situation as possible. I’ve learned to read the atmosphere in different types of relationships. I’ve learned when to fight. I’ve learned when it’s best to let go.

Anyways, I feel kind of alive again. I’m still in a mixed up kind of life right now where things are still a little uneasy, but at the same time things are much better. I have no clue what all content I will start sharing again. I have no clue where I will be sharing this content. All I know is that I enjoy expelling things from my brain, and I hope along the way maybe you find an interest in what I have to offer.

Holy crap-i-oli that was long. I haven’t written like that in a while.

“This is what moving on sounds like.”

23 hours 56 minutes

January 6, 2018 6:11PM

Part 1 - A Dangerous Concoction (August 2016- January 2017)

“Took our playlist and made it into A Dangerous Concoction. It bides my time while I stay being an option. xx. 11-27-16 8:44AM … Honey, I’m Home“

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/ericajones10/playlist/2k8XJQTkcNPJEpkMfdNQrm

Apple Music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/1-a-dangerous-concoction/pl.a176d3774ded4c7c9a2c7cd5d8333a9f

Part 2 - Honey, I’m Home (February 2017 - May 2017)

“…but I’ve never felt more alone. Idk what’s in this, but it’s reminiscing A Dangerous Concoction. xx. 02-27-17 9:47AM”

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/ericajones10/playlist/54gnCdpQrRtr23Qock5v23

Apple Music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/2-honey-im-home/pl.u-zPyLq6vudz8NGJ

Part 3 - Brick Walls And No Voicemails (June 2017 - January 2018)

“Sounds are bouncing off your silence. I feel the change. I feel the Brick Walls And No Voicemails. I don’t know who you are anymore hun. xx. 11-24-17 8:14AM”

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/ericajones10/playlist/0hNrA8WUaljTZkMIBqL4We

Apple Music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/3-brick-walls-and-no-voicemails/pl.u-zPyLvMRCdz8NGJ

Series Description:

November 22, 2017 8:36AM edited November 26, 2017 8:17AM January 5, 2018 2:26PM January 6, 8:53PM

This is an era. More importantly it feels like the ending of an era and the beginning of a new one. I’m not going to lie and say this comes out of nowhere. It doesn’t. I wish is did. It stems from one of the most wavy, complicated, emotional, exhausting, and deepest connections I’ve ever felt for another person. And ya know, we were never even together. Yeah, I hate how attached I got too.

I feel like a broken record having to explain all of this so please enjoy this brief summary.

August 2016 - We were just friends hanging out.

September 2016 - We matched on Tinder (smh haha). Complicated, but you were honest about being involved with two other girls. It didn’t hurt. I wanted to help you through it. I wanted you to be happy. I didn’t even want you to pick me.

October 2016 - A slight distance. I met someone.

November 2016 - You’re back, but I met another someone.

December 2016 - You’re still here, that someone broke my heart, you talked me through it. You sent me your G👀fy Songs playlist. You said you’re too quiet for me. You said you need a lot of time to yourself still. I realized I loved you.

January 2017 - You made me a 7hr playlist titled xx. on January 6th that I listened to on repeat and pretended you were by my side while I was on vacation. I got back and that was the last time we really spoke.

February 2017 - You faded, I faded, I went back to an old someone.

March 2017 - You came back, release nights made me feel alive again, you watched my fish for me, I talked to you for first time since January, your eyes changed.

April 2017 - You died, I almost died.

May 2017 - I invited you to my graduation party, you came, your eyes were back, it went awful when all I wanted to do was talk to you.

June 2017 - I let you go, I still miss you.

July 2017 - You sent me an album, and we started talking again.

August 2017 - We saw Logic on the 12th and you stayed the night at my brother’s house. I told you I was letting go, but I’d always be there if you needed me.

September 2017 - You played guitar. We eventually FaceTimed and had one of the best conversations I’ve ever had with you. It felt good. You started sexting me. That was a new dynamic to our whatever.

October 2017 - I got to spend a few hours with you while you studied for a test. On my birthday you made a sex joke in my dms. How special. You left me on read that night. We talked about Marc. E. Bassy’s album Gossip Columns a week later.

November 2017 - You commented on my snap story saying “tease = no fun” but we hadn’t talked for about a month. I didn’t know how to respond so I didn’t. I wanted to talk to you, but I didn’t know how. It really felt over this time.

December 2017 - I told you happy birthday. You sent me a dick pic out of nowhere on Christmas Eve morning saying you finally had the courage since you didn’t send one on my birthday (my birthday was in October). I told you I loved you. I told you you aren’t allowed to do sht like that to me anymore.

January 2018 - A Slow Death is released the same day as the 7hr playlist you made for me last year titled “xx.” A poetic ending, right? Do you maybe understand now how it kind of could feel complicated and weird to me now?

I realized I loved him in December of 2016. I kept waiting for a good time to tell him I loved him. Fuck, I told him how much I cared about everything relating to his health, his friends, family, and academics countless times. You know, I finally told him I loved him at the exact same time I told him he wasn’t allowed to pull anymore sht.

I don’t know how to relationship, but I loved him in all the ways I knew how to—by being thoughtful, respectful, open, honest, understanding, supportive, and by just being there to talk to or listen without being told and with acceptance.

I don’t know how many girls would stick around after times you’ve told them you’re with multiple other people. And when I say stick around I mean be there for you as friends. I don’t know how many girls would only want the best for you even if that meant not being with them. I don’t know how many girls you can talk to about sleeping with other girls and still not get mad or jealous. I was one of those girls. I understood without judgment or pain or envy. Ohhhkkkkaaaayyyy maybe a little pain sometimes. That is how much I cared. If that was what you felt you needed to do then I was only glad you felt safe enough to share aspects of your life with me. I never wanted to own you or control you.

We were never a physical pair, but we were fucked up in other ways.

Playlist 1: When you were here. So many of the songs you sent me and the songs I sent you are in here. This is what we sound like.

Playlist 2: The start of our separation. Your song presence is starting to fade a bit because you aren’t around much anymore. This is what it sounds like as I cope.

Playlist 3: The end. This is what it sounds like now that you aren’t here. You’re there faintly, but it’s mostly me. This is what moving on sounds like.

You know, still even in times I’ve got something really serious going on in my life I want to talk to you about it, but then I take a step back and realize if you were someone I could really talk to then it wouldn’t be so difficult to conjure up words only to never hit send. Most times I can’t even find words. I think that’s how I know it’s over. You were always the one to not speak, and now that’s both of us.

I still want you to excel in every area of life: socially, spiritually, academically, athletically, romantically. Yes, I know people probably do not understand why I would want all of these things to go extremely smooth and painlessly for you, but I do, I always have, and always will. There was never a single moment in all of the hurt you caused me that I wanted anything but the best of the best for you.

I think that’s love. I don’t know. All I know is that songs used to come on and I’d think of you. I used to wonder if you’d heard them, but I didn’t know how to reach out and send them to you anymore. I doubt you would’ve listened anyways.

The entire subject of chemistry makes me think of you because of that organic chem class you took last year. Certain cars bring your memory to surface. However, I can’t see your eyes and your dopey smile in my head anymore. I can’t see your facial expression from that night I fell asleep on your floor when your friends left and you were worried about your health. I can’t see your facial expression after a race and you weren’t pleased with the outcome. I can’t see the look on your face as we do face masks and it was getting hard on your face. I can’t see the look on your face as we put aluminum foil on your ears to see if getting them pierced would make you look dumb. But ya know, I do see the look on your face when I see the pics you post on Instagram. I don’t recognize that look or those eyes or that smile. It feels foreign. And I’m not even mad, it just means you changed. Change doesn’t have to mean bad, it just means different. I changed too. I’ve changed a lot for the better. It’s just unfortunate this different you isn’t something I’d like to be around much anymore. Who knows, maybe my head is just making you appear to be more toolish and worse than you actually are. Idk.

I’ve seen you grow as a person. I’ve seen phases where it appears you’ve regressed, and I’ve seen periods of time where you have bounced back and excelled. Throughout everything I still see all the potential for greatness I know is within you. My only hope for you is that you never lose sight of it. You used to always post song lyrics (which I knew about 80% of them), but I genuinely hope you don’t let people or a circumstance get you off track. And if they do, I hope you are able to notice and learn from your experience.

I won’t be there to witness your successes and failures anymore, but I hope you learn and progress from every situation. There isn’t another person in this world I wouldn’t bet money on to succeed. (Ohkay, there are but you get what I mean.) That isn’t me placing all these expectations on you, because I learned months and months ago I could never rely on you, but that is me knowing in my being that you are going to do great things in this world. Now that, is something I truly believe.

I always talked too much when we were together and when I noticed that and stopped you said you liked to listen. I don’t know why I remember that, but I do. I don’t know why you used to listen to me. I used to babble on about dumb things all the time. Jk, I still talk too much. It’s a shame you don’t know me anymore, but I know it’s for the best.

Hun, I really loved you. However, I think I’ve finally let you go. You don’t seem to have quite as much influence on what I do anymore. I don’t wonder what’s going on in your life as much. I kind of want my book back though. And $5 says you haven’t even read it in the 4 months you’ve had it haha.

That’s another thing I realized. There are people who would do anything for me at anytime. There are people who want to have deep conversations with me. There are people who share my fascination for life and people. There are people who send me albums and song links. Those people also do not make me feel worthless. I used to feel like we had this unexplainable connection and that is why I stuck around, but after stepping out I’ve realized those connections exist with other people as well. You only opened up my eyes. You made me feel something. You inspired me in countless ways in various areas of my life. After blinking a few times I’ve realized everything is still there, but you just aren’t in sight anymore. That’s not a bad thing, it’s just different.

There are new phases within the last playlist. There are sub-stories. I don’t know if anyone will pick up on them. I’ve been in an exceptionally good place with myself for a few months now despite all of the sht going on within my family, but for the first time I’m not scared. I’m not worried. I’m not concerned with anything but keeping my internal peace and watching the people I love thrive just as much as I.

You taught me one of the greatest lessons of my life. If something makes you cry more than smile then it is time to actively move on. Thank you for this lesson among the many others. Life for the most part has always been pretty litt, but now it feels really fuckin bright.

Love, -E xx.

Love Waves – EP 20 – Yours

January 1, 2018

“This is all you. This is Yours. Thank you hun. -E xx.”

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/ericajones10/playlist/7e8SJnucgF1OLGdYkVfIWV

Apple Music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/love-waves-ep-20-yours/pl.u-zPyL8J3Tdz8NGJ

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwEZgDEorNRRSOoMp1o9J2_sJ13IXo02h

1. Chris Brown – Emotions - Kayla

2. Jessie Reyez – Phone Calls - Adam

3. blackbear – 90210 (feat. G-Eazy) - Kayla

4. Chris Brown – Covered In You - Kayla

5.  blackbear – Waste Away (feat. Devon Baldwin) - Kayla

6. Issues – Never Lose Your Flames - Kayla

7. Cody Johnson – Me and My Kind - Peyton

8. Cody Johnson – With You I Am - Peyton

9. Cody Johnson – Wild as You - Peyton

10. Joe Bataan – Gypsy Woman - Aaron

11. Warren Zevon – Keep Me in Your Heart - Todd

12. Warren Zevon – Lawyers, Guns and Money - Todd

13. Warren Zevon – Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner - Todd

14. Warren Zevon – Werewolves of London - Todd

15. Qveen – Seven Seas of Rhye - Todd

16. Qveen – Hammer to Fall - Todd

17. Qveen – Radio Ga Ga - Todd

18. cupcakke – Doggy Style

19. cupcakke – Deepthroat

20. Riskay – Smell Yo D*ck (feat. Aviance & Real) - Paul

Click here for my Spotify profile

Click here for my Apple Music profile

https://ericajones10.sarahah.com/

Click here for my twitter @ericajones1010

Playlist Description: 

Thank you for all the submissions. I appreciate your participation and support.

Love,

Love Waves – EP 19 – Go Go Go

December 25, 2017

“I’ve been there and felt that. I’m always on the Go Go Go. –E xx.”

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/ericajones10/playlist/0GlJDmxUet3SNUnjcvxfVE

Apple Music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/love-waves-ep-19-go-go-go/pl.u-55D60A2cx9Xkmj

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwEZgDEorNRSUSukfNY-8syg3qSKaZd9p

Music videos located in the YouTube link above.

1. Wiz Khalifa – Plane 4 U

2. Willow – Wait a Minute!

3. Chicano Batman – Black Lipstick

4. Migos – Kelly Price (feat. Travis Scott)

5. DOM KENNEDY – Erica Part 2

6. A$AP Rocky – Lord Pretty Flacko Jodye 2

7. The Commodores – Easy

8. Al Green – Let’s Stay Together

9. Louis Armstrong – La vie en rose

10. HUNCHO JACK, Travis Scott & Quavo – How U Feel

11. Cardi B – Bartier Cardi (feat. 21 Savage)

12. Real Estate – Darling

13. The Internet – Under Control

14. Steve Lacy – C U Girl

15. Noah Cyrus – Again (Acoustic Version)

16. NAV – Sleep

17. Marc E. Bassy – Til I Get Found

******I NEED YOUR HELP WITH LOVE WAVES EP 20!!! AS A WAY TO CELEBRATE MAKING IT THIS FAR I WANT THE 20TH EPISODE TO BE ONLY MUSIC FROM OTHER PEOPLE. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SEND ME THE NAME OF A SONG OR SONGS WITH THE ARTIST’S NAME VIA ANYWAY POSSIBLE, OR BY CLICKING THIS PARAGRAPH, AND SUBMITTING YOUR SONG. I WILL TAKE ALL THE MUSIC I COLLECT FROM PEOPLE TO CREATE EP 20’S FLOW. IF YOU’D LIKE, YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR SUBMISSION, AND I WILL PUT YOUR NAME IN EP 20’S POST AS WELL SO YOU GET CREDIT! THIS IS JUST MY WAY OF SAYING THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING LOVE WAVES AND HOPEFULLY GETTING PEOPLE INVOLVED IN SHARING SOME GOOD SHT! xx.******

Click here for my Spotify profile

Click here for my Apple Music profile

https://ericajones10.sarahah.com/

Click here for my twitter @ericajones1010

Playlist Description:

A lot has happened in a single week. I think everything comes down to timing. So much of the timing was important this week. Also, making time was important. It really easy to let little things slip, but I think it’s the little things that add up and are going correct that kept keep me smiling. It’s those tiny bits of effort that people close to me show that make me feel secure. I listened to a ton a new albums too. I don’t know, I guess even in chaos I still manage to keep some balance. Just breathe and control what you can as best as you can.

Love,

Love Waves – EP 18 – Ones You Know

December 18, 2017

“It’s simple. These are the Ones You Know. –E xx.”

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/ericajones10/playlist/7iXDqNxT0HSAd41ZJ4MAlj

Apple Music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/love-waves-ep-18-ones-you-know/pl.u-qxyl8DYTlzdVNP

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwEZgDEorNRSqiD1McyM5SmlfEYhQHFOe

To be very honest, you should just click the YouTube link above and scroll through all of those music videos. They’re all pretty great!

1. Maroon 5 - Misery

2. Gwen Stefani – Hollaback Girl

3.  John Mayer – Your Body Is a Wonderland

4. Train – Drops of Jupiter

5. Matchbox Twenty – If You’re Gone

6. Hinder – Lips of an Angel

7. Simple Plan – I’d Do Anything

8. Justin Timberlake – Cry Me a River

9. The Fray – How to Save a Life

10. Céline Dion – My Heart Will Go On

11. Bowling for Soup – 1985

12. We The Kings – Say You Like Me

13. Britney Spears – …Baby One More Time

14. Destiny’s Child – Say My Name

15. The Black Eyed Peas – I Gotta Feeling

******I NEED YOUR HELP WITH LOVE WAVES EP 20!!! AS A WAY TO CELEBRATE MAKING IT THIS FAR I WANT THE 20TH EPISODE TO BE ONLY MUSIC FROM OTHER PEOPLE. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SEND ME THE NAME OF A SONG OR SONGS WITH THE ARTIST’S NAME VIA ANYWAY POSSIBLE, OR BY CLICKING THIS PARAGRAPH, AND SUBMITTING YOUR SONG. I WILL TAKE ALL THE MUSIC I COLLECT FROM PEOPLE TO CREATE EP 20’S FLOW. IF YOU’D LIKE, YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR SUBMISSION, AND I WILL PUT YOUR NAME IN EP 20’S POST AS WELL SO YOU GET CREDIT! THIS IS JUST MY WAY OF SAYING THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING LOVE WAVES AND HOPEFULLY GETTING PEOPLE INVOLVED IN SHARING SOME GOOD SHT! xx.******

Click here for my Spotify profile

Click here for my Apple Music profile

https://ericajones10.sarahah.com/

Click here for my twitter @ericajones1010

Playlist Description:

15 songs that you probably know most of the words to. These are allll bannnggeerrrrsss in my eyes haha. I’ll just let the songs speak for themselves.

Love,

Love Waves – EP 17 – A Slow Death

December 11, 2017

“And you’re A Slow Death killing me. 10-13-17 10:33PM –E xx.”

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/ericajones10/playlist/3sGS9GlbyIYvFBYsuVib1L

Apple Music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/love-waves-ep-17-a-slow-death/pl.u-yZyV8WmuWgZkbE

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwEZgDEorNRTP_X_wD7BneiSn_5Iti5UC

I recommend watching some of these music videos. You can do that by clicking the underlined titles or clicking the YouTube link above.

1. Marty Grimes – Die For Me (feat. Kyle & Christoph Anderson)

2. blackbear – Hustler

3. Kevin Garrett – Precious

4. Slushii – Morphine

5. 6LACK – Gettin’ Old

6. Bryson Tiller – Run Me Dry

7. Zara Larson – I Can’t Fall in Love Without You

8. Ella Mai – Anymore

9. Harrison Brom – Body High

10. Darci – Two Up

11. Ro James – I’m Sorry

12. NAV – TTD

13. Justin Bieber & BloodPop® - Friends

14. Camila Cabello – I Have Questions

15. Sia – To Be Human (feat. Labrinth)

16. G-Eazy & Halsey – Him & I

17. MUNA – Outro

Click here for my Spotify profile

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Click here for my twitter @ericajones1010

Playlist Description:

There are a million things I could say about this week’s playlist, but just know that this is a sample of a three part series titled A Slow Death. This series is an era. It is an era that felt like an eternity. It is an era I never thought would actually feel finished. It is an era I learned a great deal about others and myself. It is an era of growth. Although this era is over, all that has been learned will only enhance my future. I haven’t set an official date for the release for the series A Slow Death, but it will be around the end of 2017.

Love,

Love Waves – EP 16 – Disney

December 4, 2017

“There’s just something magical about Disney. –E xx.”

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/ericajones10/playlist/78POzzTDm2bBFDGRNPioqc

Apply Music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/love-waves-ep-16-disney/pl.u-XkD0A4pINVg8Xz

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwEZgDEorNRRaTmjJAw2jFFsoP9kjC8Ox

I highly recommend just clicking the YouTube link above and watching all of the music videos.

1. Julie Andrews – A Spoonful of Sugar

2. Samuel E. Wright – Under the Sea

3. Randy Newman – You’ve got a Friend In Me

4. Nathan Lane, Ernie Sabella, Jason Weaver & Joseph Williams – Hakuna Matata

5. Lea Salonga – Reflection

6. Susan Egan – I Won’t Say (I’m In Love)

7. Jodi Benson – Part of You World

8. Lea Salonga & Brad Kane – A Whole New World

9. Phil Collins & Glenn Close – You’ll Be In My Heart

10. Roger Bart – Go the Distance

11. Donny Osmond & Chorus – I’ll Make a Man Out of You

12. Judy Kuhn – Colors of the Wind

13. Angela Lansbury – Beauty and the Beast

14. Demi Lovato & Joe Jonas – This Is Me

15. Naomi Scott – She’s So Gone

16. Kristen Bell & Idina Menzel – For the First Time in Forever

17. Auli'i Cravalho – How Far I’ll Go

18. Kamehameha Schools Children’s Chorus & Mark Keali'i Ho'omalu – Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride

19. Robie Lester, Susan Novack, Gregory Novack, Victor Sweler & The Mike Sammes Singers – Scales and Arpeggios

20. Oliver Wallace, Paul J. Smith & Verna Felton – Where Did I Put That Thing? / Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo

Click here for my Spotify profile

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https://ericajones10.sarahah.com/

Click here for my twitter @ericajones1010

Playlist Description:

You know, I don’t really have much to say this week. This playlist contains my favorite Disney songs. A Whole New World is probably my favorite since it’s the only one I took time to learn on piano years ago. A fun fact is that my parents almost named me Ariel sooooo that would’ve made the Little Mermaid a solid backup halloween costume for my entire life. I hope this playlist brings out the good childhood memories for you like it does for me.

Love,

Love Waves – EP 15 – A Brief Moment of Self Doubt

November 27, 2017

“Do not let A Brief Moment Of Self Doubt set you back. –E xx.”

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/ericajones10/playlist/0KOUn06zVSZZ0CjxDGWiax

Apple Music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/love-waves-ep-15-a-brief-moment-of-self-doubt/pl.u-yZyV8klCWgZkbE

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwEZgDEorNRRAqSNgGtemwJEqH_xIMT6w

I recommend watching some of these music videos. You can do that by clicking the underlined titles or clicking the YouTube link above.

1. NF – Let You Down

2. Wolf Alice – Blush

3. G-Eazy – Still

4. NAV – Myself

5. Miguel – what’s normal anyway

6. Busted – Can’t Break Thru

7. Simple Plan – Perfect

8. The 1975 – Me

9. KYLE – All Alright

10. Buddy – Shine

11. Lauren Sanderson – Written in the Stars

12. Wiz Khalifa – Fly Solo

13. MOD SUN – Make Somethin’ of Yourself

14. Donnie Trumpet & The Social Experiment – Wanna Be Cool

15. Tory Lanez – To D.R.E.A.M.

16. Lil Wayne – I’m Me

17. Logic – I Am the Greatest

Click here for my Spotify profile

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https://ericajones10.sarahah.com/

Click here for my twitter @ericajones1010

Playlist Description:

The concept for this playlist has been on my mind for a couple months. The timing just feels right at the moment. This playlist’s first half was put together to let you feel whatever disappointment, sadness, or doubt you’ve got living within you. The second half of the playlist is meant to lift you up and get you past whatever was/is bothering you. It may not solve any problems, but I hope it makes you believe in yourself more.

Love,

Love Waves – EP 14 – Leave Me Here

November 20, 2017

“I need to stay. Leave Me Here. –E xx.”

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/ericajones10/playlist/2EtnYkvQ9GwjGPcQ8YMmtp

Apple Music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/love-waves-ep-14-leave-me-here/pl.u-MDAWYr6CRy30N8

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwEZgDEorNRTJI0NDkPEd0HlQNa6qq5jN

I highly recommend watching some of these music videos. You can do that by clicking the underlined titles or clicking the YouTube link above.

1. James Hype – More Than Friends (feat. Kelli-Leigh)

2. Tinie Tempah – Girls Like (Zara Larsson)

3. Xuitacasecity & No Sleep – Criminals

4. Jauz & Crankdat – I Hold Still (feat. Sluchii)

5. Paloma Faith – Crybaby (Blonde Remix)

6. Prince Fox – Fragile (feat. Hailee Steinfeld)

7. Felix Snow – Lies (feat. SZA)

8. Ansel Elgort – Thief

9. Logic – Black SpiderMan (feat. Damian Lemar Hudson)

10. Jessica Andrea – Medicine

11. Ellie Goulding – Don’t Need Nobody

12. Marshmellow – Silence (feat. Khalid)

13. Chace & Moksi – For a Day

14. Ookay – Thief

15. NGHTMRE – No Coming Down (feat. Alex Wiley & Sky Montique)

16. Dua Lipa – New Rules (Alison Wonderland Remix)

17. DJ Khaled – I’m the One (feat. Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance the Rapper & Lil Wayne)

Click here for my Spotify profile

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https://ericajones10.sarahah.com/

Click here for my twitter @ericajones1010

Playlist Description:

This playlist is meant to be dancey and upbeat and positive. I’ve always liked moving around like a fool. I need to be on a dance floor even if that is a bedroom floor right now. I need to stay. Leave Me Here.

Love,

Love Waves - EP 13 - White Lines

November 13, 2017

“I’ve been driving fast to feel less. White Lines to kick my addiction. -E xx.”

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/ericajones10/playlist/3qGX7WeWN44Gxg8OOQLj2L

Apple Music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/love-waves-ep-13-white-lines/pl.u-EdAV8yGtGbq7Vr

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwEZgDEorNRRVkgZwUF7BCWFSkL1ZZGSV

Please read through everything before you listen to this playlist with the shuffle setting OFF.

I highly recommend watching some of these music videos. You can do that by clicking the underlined titles or clicking the YouTube link above.

1. 6LACK – Never Know

2. Sabrina Claudio – Confidently Lost

3. SZA – Child’s Play (feat. Chance the Rapper)

4. Wiz Khalifa – Get Your S**t

5. Chris Brown – Emotions

6. Belly – Can’t Feel a Thing

7. G-Eazy – The Plan

8. Drake – Portland (feat. Quavo & Travis Scott)

9. Clean Bandit – I Miss You (feat. Julia Michaels)

10. Aly & AJ – I Know

11. Charlie Puth – How Long

12. Tyler, The Creator – Forward (feat. Rex Orange County)

13. Snoh Aalegra – Sometimes (feat. Logic)

14. LE$ - Night Vision Goggles

15. Mac DeMarco – Ode to Viceroy

16. Jhené Aiko – Never Call Me (feat. Kurupt)

Click here for my Spotify profile

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Click here for my twitter @ericajones1010

Playlist Description:

It was either Friday or Saturday last weekend that I saw something on Instagram that really fucked me up. It fucked me up for a few days. The final realization that I was no longer needed or wanted in any form really knocked me on my ass. It took me a few days to recover. I think, I might still be slowly recovering, but the damage is done, and I finally feel, like happy, to be finished after over a year of this.

I used to drive around and listen to music when I needed to get out of my own head. Most of the time it was at night because that’s when I struggle the most to shut my head off. Plus, I really like the city lights.

Sometimes I drive very fast when I know I shouldn’t. I’m talking 115-120mph fast. Death speeds. My palms are sweating while I write this. I don’t know how to explain driving for me other than I get so focused on what I am physically concentrating on, that I forget what my mind was fixated on. I hate using the cruise control on long trips because I need that game. I need that fluctuation in the flow of traffic. Driving is a type of distraction. So, I drive fast to feel less.

Of course there are white lines all over the road. That’s a given. The double meaning here is that white lines also means drugs or cocaine. I’ve never done drugs. Ask anyone who fucking knows me. Anyways, the irony of that statement is it sounds like I’m doing something that may become addicting just to break a different addiction. That’s not how things are supposed to be fixed. You are not supposed to break an addiction with another addiction. That would almost defeat the purpose of curing or bettering yourself because that behavior is still there.

I drove a lot from November 3rd to November 12th.  To be more exact, I spent about 21 hour 39 minutes driving about 1,427 miles. In case you were wondering, yes I do feel dead inside and my eyes fell out of my skull on Tuesday. That’s a joke, but I do feel very fatigued for not actually doing a whole lot.

All of that driving helped a lot with the initial sting. Also, cuddling with my brother’s dog Zeus helped a lot too. The playlist this week stems from music I listened to a lot while bee boppin’ around on I-70. I only hope the lack of mobility driving around this week doesn’t backfire or let in something I don’t want to feel or think about. I’m crazy, just incase you haven’t noticed yet. :)

I’m so over feeling like just because I care about you and love you, that I have to put myself on a fucking rollercoaster to get only a slight return on my investment. I woke up this morning and realized there is a serious difference between loving someone and feeling secure and at peace than loving someone and choosing to put up with their inconsistency and for lack of a better word, bullshit. In my opinion there is a very clear distinction between staying with someone and working things out to grow for the better, and staying with someone who is not actively putting in effort to make their life or your life better and positive. This is only just now clicking in my brain. Maybe not so much clicking, because of course those statements make sense, but I suppose I am just now reaching that point of letting go for real this time. I don’t even know what I would say to you anymore, so I won’t.

I used to think even though we were dysfunctional, we at least cared, but I’ve come the realization that if we actually cared in the slightest, then we wouldn’t do shit that hurts the other, and then continue to do that, whether it’s intentional or not. In my case, it’s the fading, coming back, rinse, and repeat. If I’ve told you that bugs me and we continue to do it, then bye. I’m over it. Like, I mean really over it this time. I sound like a bratty sixteen-year-old. SOS.

The couples I look up to, the couples I admire for their relationship, the couples I hope to be more like one day, do not put each other through so many dumb things. They never have to guess if the other person is thinking of them. They never have to put up with the other person being senseless. They never have to guess if the other person is fighting for them. They never have to guess if the other person is really thinking of their best interest.

I don’t think great levels of uncertainty or complication exists in the type of relationships I aspire to be a part of. I have put up with that shit because I felt I had to. I felt I was weak and everything I had done would be dismissed if I left—if I stopped caring. I now think that’s the opposite. I don’t have to stop caring, but I have to stop giving energy and time to something that is no longer beneficial to my mental health and growth as an individual.

Be courteous to people. Be kind. Show love. I had a conversation while I was driving back from the 6LACK concert. The next few sentences are a gist of what that entailed. It helped me a lot too. I need to take my own advice more often. Know when to back away when the vibe feels off. I’m still learning to trust this feeling. It takes two people to work on any form of relationship, but if there’s only one willing to fight for success as a couple, then I think the relationship has already run its course. If something feels unnatural and forced, then it probably is. Long term, or even short term, nobody likes feeling uncomfortable in a relationship. Trust the energy you are receiving. Energy doesn’t lie.

Also, while you may be tripping over keeping something alive that is already dead, you may be missing out on the potential of something much greater.

Song Descriptions:

My best friend Kayla and I saw 6LACK and Sabrina Claudio in concert on Thursday (11-09). I’ve been a fan of his since way before his album was released last year so it was great to finally see him live. I first found Sabrina when she was on YouTube, so it was cool to see her too. My favorite lyrics from Never Know are: I know a lot of people but I don’t fuck with a lot…If I was waiting on you to tell me then I would never know.”

Click here to read the official lyrics for Never Know by 6LACK

SZA is my qveen, and Chance is just the cherry on top of Child’s Play.

Wiz released a new album that I actually really like, but while on the road I started re-listening to his older projects and Get Your S**t really stuck with me. It’s the end of an era and the beginning of a new one with his new girl. Instead of me typing all of my favorite lyrics just read them all.

Click here to read the official lyrics for Get Your S**t by Wiz Khalifa

OHHHKKKKKAAAAYYYY, Chris Brown’s new 45 track album Heartbreak on a Full Moon is ridiculously good. There are 24 songs on that thing I like. Emotions is one of those. The pre-chorus into the chorus is my favorite part, and the actual music production is something that hooked me too.

I first started listening to Belly when his Inzombia album dropped in November of 2016. This past week I’ve been listening to my Belly playlist that has all of his music in it. While I do enjoy his first few projects, and I do appreciate Mumble Rap, Inzombia still has so many of my favorite songs of his.

G IS RELEASING A DOUBLE ALBUM ON DECEMBER 15TH. The Plan bumps.

I heard Portland at the K-State football game I went to and that song brought me back to life because I am not the biggest fan of football. The music and band were on pointtttttt though.

Adam got me hooked on I Miss You and How Long. The lyrics in both songs are too wonderful and lately I’ve been paying a lot of attention to Charlie’s music production. He makes these slight changes that are so subtle, yet welcomed.

I am beyond excited for Aly and AJ’s new EP to be released. Their new sound is so on with today’s sound, but they still manage to give is a twist somehow. It’s awesome whatever they’re doing.

Tyler. I bought a ticket to see Tyler, The Creator on November 9th, and I was fully planning on attending his concert after 6LACK, but the first concert ran too long. SO, after being a Tyler fan for like 3 years I didn’t get to see him perform one of my favorite albums of 2017. I’ll live, but man that would’ve been a great moment.

The lyric that pops out to me the most in Sometimes is when Logic repeatedly says, “Use your head don’t be dumb.”

Night Vision Goggle is on an titled album The Catalina Wine Mixer by LE$. That song and  and the song Ode to Viceroy were sent to me during the week and they both fit the flow so I decided they deserved placement. Mac’s lyrics definitely fit the theme of dysfunction. :)

My favorite lyric from Never Call Me is during Kurupt’s outro. He says, “..you are the one, everyone else is 2’s and 3’s. You’re the one.”

Click here to read the offical lyrics for Never Call Me by Jhéne Aiko feat. Kurupt

I was worried this playlist wasn’t going to end up sounding great, but to be very honest this is one of my favorite playlists now.

Love Waves – EP 12 – Can’t Complain

November 6, 2017

“I shouldn’t complain. I Can’t Complain. –E xx.”

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/ericajones10/playlist/2X9YMpU6PiCUJps4FmXxru

Apple Music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/love-waves-ep-12-leave-me-here/pl.u-zPyLqAYsdz8NGJ

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwEZgDEorNRRMMzZYaXndMc3XBlcIkGm6

I highly recommend watching some of these music videos. You can do that by clicking the underlined titles or clicking the YouTube link above.

1. Bad Suns – We Move Like the Ocean

2. Lucy Rose – Our Eyes

3. Wild Party – OutRight

4. Blind Pilot – 3 Rounds and a Sound

5.  Julien Baker – Turn Out the Light

6. Nada Surf – Blonde On Blonde

7. The Neighbourhood – You Get Me So High

8. Arctic Monkeys – She’s Thunderstorms

9. Little Comets – Bayonne

10. Black Honey – Somebody Better

11. Catfish & the Bottlemen – Cocoon

12. Jake Bugg – Broken

13. Wolf Alice – Don’t Delete the Kisses

14. HAIM – Little of Your Love

15. Bleachers – Everybody Lost Somebody

16. Cigarettes After Sex – Truly

Click here for my Spotify profile

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Click here for my twitter @ericajones1010

Playlist Description:

The last few days were extremely rough.  I felt a lot—too much. To keep it short, I really shouldn’t complain. I Can’t Complain. I literally cannot think about beginning to complain or give energy to what is bringing me down. It’s simply too much. Also, my life is too dope for that sht. :)

Song Descriptions:

I met the lead singer of Wild party after they opened up for Catfish and the Bottlemen a few years ago. Nice guy.

Every time is hear Blonde On Blonde I get taken back to when a minivan taxi was driving my family and I to the docks to board a cruise ship in January of 2017. I just remember driving by the ocean and seeing these different piers. There was a ferris wheel on one, and everything felt like it was in slow motion. The sunlight beaming off the water was just a moment.

Cocoon by Catfish and the Bottlemen is my favorite song of theirs. It’s also my favorite song to play acoustically on guitar. I always like to mash it with Landslide by Fleetwood Mac in the beginning. The song is great when it feels like it’s pushing you up against a wall, but it’s also wonderful when it feels like a gentle rain falling. Whatever. Watch the music video.

Broken by Jake Bugg is another one of my favorite songs to play and hear on acoustic guitar. The actual subject of the song is heartbreaking. I really feel it.

Don’t Delete the Kisses by Wolf Alice is in my top 3 favorite songs from their album Visions of a Life. I appreciate the storyline. Watch the music video.

Truly by Cigarettes After Sex feels likes a west coast love song being sung through the door after two people who love each other have ended their night. I picture the song being sung as one of them makes their journey home in the city. They’re walking down beautifully lit blocks and taking the subway. I also see a montage of their happy moments being played too. I could basically make a music video for this song haha.

Click here for my Spotify profile

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https://ericajones10.sarahah.com/

Click here for my twitter @ericajones1010

Love,

Love Waves – EP 11 – Gravitational Pulllse

October 30, 2017

“You’ve got this Gravitational Pulllse. –E xx.”

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/ericajones10/playlist/2Llf67GeeMOMLTUtL2VY6n

Apple Music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/love-waves-ep-11-gravitational-pulllse/idpl.u-4Jom5zbIjBX3Rv

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwEZgDEorNRT4tbMTKqo5iUtmEdAMfRxZ

I highly recommend watching some of these music videos. You can do that by clicking the underlined titles or clicking the YouTube link above.

1. Ty Dolla $ign – All The Time

2. Belly – Lullaby

3. SZA – Babylon (feat. Kendrick Lamar)

4. Marc E. Bassy – Black Jeep

5. Jhené Aiko – While We’re Young

6. H.E.R. – Lights On

7. dsvn – Think About Me

8. Rick Ross – Maybach Music V (feat. DeJ Loaf)

9. Mike WiLL Made-It – Aries (feat. Pharrell & Station Wagon P)

10. Dylan Matthew – Now or Later

11. Ryan Oaks – Time to Kill

12. Lupe Fiasco – Pick Up the Phone

13. Austin Awake – What I Need

14. Frank Ocean – Thinkin Bout You

15. Snoh Aalegra – You Keep Me Waiting (feat. Vic Mensa)

16. Drake – Marvins Room

Click here for my Spotify profile

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https://ericajones10.sarahah.com/

Click here for my twitter @ericajones1010

Playlist Description:

Before I start, S/O to Adam and Kayla for once again giving me their input on the new Love Waves artwork. It’s wild how one of my ideas can get transformed into something even better with their help. I love them both very much. Thank you bbb and bbg. <3 <3 Also, the audio waves behind the heart is literally my voice saying the words “Love Waves” in five different emotions/tones. Wild, crazy, detail stuff, right?

Today has been really rough. I am really late getting this episode out, and as I write this I am going to try my damndest to stay on topic. Bare with me if I swerve a little.

The inspiration for this playlist came from another playlist I started solely because of the song All The Time by Ty Dolla $ign. It only came out a few days ago, but that is my favorite song off of his Beach House 3 album, but the whole project is pretty solid to be honest.

So why the name Gravitational Pulllse?

gravitational grav·i·ta·tion·al 2. denoting a forceful attraction or movement toward something.

pull /po͝ol/ 2. a force drawing someone or something in a particular direction or course of action.

pulse pəls/ 2. a single vibration or short burst of sound, electric current, light, or other wave.

The word gravitational came from something Adam said to me last week. We were joking around and I said I was behind Kayla while she was in line at Starbucks. I said, “Oh I see you. Turn around. I’m waving.” Adam gently shot back something along to the lines of, “No, I know you aren’t here because I don’t feel your gravitational pull.” What. A. Dick. Jk haha.

After hearing All The Time, I got to thinking about songs that pull me in. Songs I’m just drawn to. That’s where the first playlist started.

Then I got to thinking about the pulse of music and the pulse of my own heart. That led me to thinking about how pulses from music draw my heart into them, and how I get attached to certain songs.

The reason for the three l’s is because I wanted people to distinctly know I am actively emphasizing the word Pulllse because it has a double meaning in this name. It’s the way my pulse gets pulled or pushed towards something or someone. “You’ve got this Gravitational Pulllse.” You’ve got me drawn in and hooked. Other times it’s me pulling that object or person in.

I find connections and the power they have over our being to be quite interesting. In many cases those are positive situations and in other cases those situations are not quite so great, but we stick around anyways despite the drawbacks.

I wrote something last week that really stuck with me. You can click here to read it, and if you’d like to leave comments, then go for it. I suppose it’s about connection. A connection with my head, and how others influence me.

I’ll end the overall description with this. Today, while filling my car up with gas I heard someone say, “We’re all here just dying together,” while they were waiting to pay at the little booth thingy at Dillons. That shit blew my mind. I never really thought much about that aspect. I always focus on how we’re all living together right now, but damn, we’re also dying too. That phrase makes me think about how we spend the time we do have right now with ourselves and with people. Why do we spend our time in toxic situations? Why can’t we let go? Why don’t we actively do what is genuinely the best for us? To be honest, I have no fucking clue, but it got me thinking. Hopefully this gets you thinking. And don’t worry, I’m not saying I’m perfect. One of my mottos since I was sixteen has been, “I’m fucked up, but in a manageable way.” Now if that ain’t the truth I don’t know what is. :)

Song Descriptions:

The aim of this week’s playlist was to throw in a lot of new music.

Lullaby by Belly is the very first and most likely the last song to ever repeat in my Love Waves series. It also appeared in EP 10, which was purely created from other people’s song suggestions. There are a few lines that seriously hit my head and my heart.

Babylon by SZA featuring Kendrick Lamar IS A MUST LISTEN. Seriously, listen to this song, watch the music video, and read the meaning of the lyrics. I’ve been obsessed with this song and it was part of my inspiration for what I wrote and told you to read above.

Click here to watch the official music video by Babylon by SZA

Click here to read the lyrics and meaning of Babylon by SZA featuring Kendrick Lamar

At first I wasn’t super into Black Jeep by Marc E. Bassy, but after getting it into a flow that I really like, I’ve been listening to is a lot this past week or so.

While We’re Young by Jhené Aiko is definitely a late night song. You’ll understand what I mean if you listen to it under the moon’s light. Also, the music video reminds me of the movie 50 First Dates.

Maybach Music V and Aries both came out earlier this year. I think they were in my S3nD Nud3s 2.0 playlist, but if I put one somewhere the other has to go with it. It’s just a flow thing.

Dylan Matthew just released a new EP titled Only up from Here. Check that and him out.

Time to Kill by Ryan Oaks. That is the best song off of his project Out of Patience.

Low kii I used to sleep on Lupe’s DROGAS Light, but I’ve been listening to it recently. Pick Up the Phone is my favorite so far.

What I Need by Austin Awake is another song that’s good for those late, overthinking, sad shit hours.

Thinkin Bout You by Frank is always a good song. Issa classic bb.

You Keep Me Waiting by Snoh Aalegra is brand new. She just released her album FEELS a few days ago. She’s got Logic on a song too, but this one is my favorite. The vibe reminds me of music from the movie Baby Driver. :)

Marvins Room by Drake. That feel. RT.

That’s all I have for you this week. Get in touch with my via the links below and send me some good tunes if you feel the need to. 

Click here for my Spotify profile

Click here for my Apple Music profile

https://ericajones10.sarahah.com/

Click here for my twitter @ericajones1010

Love,

Love Waves – EP 10 – Yours

October 23, 2017

“This is all you. This is Yours. –E xx.”

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/ericajones10/playlist/1IcgVDmMais9q1iMMuigQz

Apple Music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/love-waves-ep-10-yours/idpl.u-MDAWAyJtRy30N8

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwEZgDEorNRQPozOXBjX41CW69gzT2Sjz

Thank you to everyone who contributed! All of these songs are from you. I only arranged them. We make a great team. :)

I highly recommend watching some of these music videos. You can do that by clicking the underlined titles or clicking the YouTube link above.

1. MISSIO – Bottom of the Deep Blue Sea – Caroline

2. The Cardigans – Lovefool – Jenny

3. Tame Impala – The Less I Know the Better

4. Mac DeMarco – My Kind of Woman – George

5. Declan McKenna – Brazil – Caroline

6. Hanson – MMMBop – Jenny

7. Lewis Del Mar – Loud(y)

8. Five – When the Lights Go Out – Jenny

9. Sugar Ray – Every Morning – Jenny

10. Justin Timberlake – CAN’T STOP THE FEELING – Jenny

11. Dixie Chicks – Wide Open Spaces – Jenny

12. Shania Twain – Man! I Feel Like a Woman – Jenny

13. Boston – Don’t Look Back – Jenny

14. Drake – HYFR (feat. Lil Wayne) - Kevin

15. Joywave – It’s a Trip! – Caroline

16. Miley Cyrus – Love Someone - Aubree

17. BØRNS – Holy Ghost – Caroline

18. Coast Modern – Hollow Life – Caroline

19. Lizzo – Truth Hurts – Caroline

20. Lido – Not Enough (feat. THEY.) - Adam

21. blink-182 – This Is Home – Jenny

22. El Chicano – Sabor a Mí – George

23. Miley Cyrus – Miss You so Much - Aubree

24. Joyner Lucas – I’m Sorry – Cole

25. Belly – Lullaby

26. Pink Floyd – Shine On You Crazy Diamond, Pts. 1-5 – Jenny

27. Pink Floyd – Shine On You Crazy Diamond, Pts. 6-9 – Jenny

https://ericajones10.sarahah.com/

Click here for my twitter @ericajones1010

Click here for my Spotify profile

Click here for my Apple Music profile

Playlist Description:

If my guestimation is correct, about nine people took time out of their lives to contribute to this playlist.  I greatly appreciate all your efforts. Music and making playlists is something I spend a lot of time doing.

This Love Waves project involves more time than I would like to admit between deciding on a theme, telling a story, finding songs, and making the flow. Flow is the most important part of any customized playlist. That’s why I get hooked on the way certain songs stick together. It’s actually quite annoying how fixated my brain can get.

In all honesty, I have no clue how many people actually listen to any of the playlists I create, but please know much of my heart goes into them. If you’ve ever listened to a Love Waves playlist, or any of my playlists, or read any of my babble that I release to the world, I seriously, from the bottom of my heart, thank you kindly. I wish I could hug you. I mean like really hug you. One of those eyes closed, full embrace, like bih get off me, kind of hugs. :)

Some people struggle to find a way to express themselves. In my case, I struggle to make sense of my expressions and feel understood by others. That’s crazy to think about too. Like, some people sit in silence and never feel understood, and I walk around in a sunlight of noise, and I still feel most people don’t get what I’m saying. Orrrr maybe they get it and just don’t care. Damn, now that’s a realization.

Anyyywaaayyyssss feel free to drop me song or playlist links at anytime. I have a Spotify and Apple Music account (cough cough follow me cough shameless self-promo cough) sooooo if you send it imma listen to it. :)

I always hope you find something you like in the playlists I make.

Love,

Love Waves – EP 9 – Pink Pillows

October 16, 2017

“A few thoughts from Pink Pillows. –E xx.”

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/ericajones10/playlist/6iBQ8u16X0qim0ypl7Yb48

Apple Music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/love-waves-ep-9-pink-pillows/idpl.u-55D6lDlHx9Xkmj

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwEZgDEorNRRItkk7C4ZD6enbIpcYm-Iz

This week’s playlist flow is ridic (ulous, if you must be lame and make me spell the whole word instead of attempting to be hip). Leave yo shuffle off bb.

1. mansionz – Wicked (feat. G-Eazy)

2. The 1975 – Girls

3. Rihanna – You da One

4. Kiiara – Wishlist

5. Travis Scott – Butterfly Effect

6.  Ghosted – Get Some (feat. Kamille)

7. Neon Trees – Sleeping With a Friend

8. Marty Grimes – Make It Back

9. Marc E. Bassy – Plot Twist (feat. Kyle)

10. Lauv – Reforget

11. Humble the Poet – H.A.I.R.

12. Daniel Caesar – Take Me Away (feat. Syd)

13. Halsey – Bad at Love

14. Julia Michaels – Issues (Alan Walker Remix)

15. Prince Fox – I Don’t Wanna Love You (feat. Melody Noel) [Adam York Remix]

16. Khalil – No Coincidence

17. Jhené Aiko – OLLA (Only Lovers Left Alive) [feat. TWENTY88]

******I NEED YOUR HELP WITH LOVE WAVES EP 10!!! AS A WAY TO CELEBRATE MAKING IT THIS FAR I WANT THE 10TH EPISODE TO BE ONLY MUSIC FROM OTHER PEOPLE. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SEND ME THE NAME OF A SONG OR SONGS WITH THE ARTIST’S NAME VIA ANYWAY POSSIBLE, OR BY CLICKING THIS PARAGRAPH, AND SUBMITTING YOUR SONG. I WILL TAKE ALL THE MUSIC I COLLECT FROM PEOPLE TO CREATE EP 10’S FLOW. IF YOU’D LIKE, YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR SUBMISSION, AND I WILL PUT YOUR NAME IN EP 10’S POST AS WELL SO YOU GET CREDIT! THIS IS JUST MY WAY OF SAYING THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING LOVE WAVES AND HOPEFULLY GETTING PEOPLE INVOLVED IN SHARING SOME GOOD SHT! xx.******

https://ericajones10.sarahah.com/

Click here for my twitter @ericajones1010

Also, if you have a Spotify or Apple Music account I would love to follow you and most likely creep on your playlists. Somehow get me your profile link, send me a playlist, or let me know your username. Click here for my Spotify profile Click here for my Apple Music profile

Playlist Description:

Some of my best thoughts come while my head is lying on my pink pillow. Some of my worst thoughts come while my head is lying on my pink pillow. Everything in between is noise, but to be honest, it’s all just noise.

I never really thought much about how an inanimate object could be privy to some of the most important moments in my reality or just in my mind—those moments alone or sometimes with another person.

While in college some of my favorite times were when my closest friends and I were just laying in my room talking about everything, and nothing, while listening to music. They’d be on my bed and I’d be lying on the ground staring at my ceiling fan or on my futon. At times these positions varied, but you get the point.

There were nights I’d shove my face in that pink pillow to cry. There were times I’d hug that pink pillow wishing it was a human body, but it was 1:34 in the morning, and a pillow is what was closest to me. There were days I would pull myself out of bed to go to work and class and when I would return to my room that pink pillow was the first thing I’d see upon arrival.

Some of my best words have been inspired at times my head was on that pink pillow. Some of the best scenarios my head has created were while it was on that pink pillow. I see myself in different situations and places, sometimes alone and sometimes not, while lying on that pink pillow. (I don’t really know what to call the things I write because in my head they sound like songs and I don’t know if they’re considered poetry so I usually just call them words.)

This playlist stems from all of the hours I’ve spent thinking about what I have done, would’ve done differently, hope to do, and will actually do. I think a lot about my own future and where or what I’d like to do, and I also tend to think a lot about who I have or want to be by my side during those moments.

I think a lot about the people I care for and love. I think about the moments that have passed by and tasted so sweet, but I didn’t realize how precious they were. I think about the lines on my friends’ and family’s faces as their eyes lit up while they smiled or laughed too hard at something dumb I said or did. I think about what it felt like while we hugged. Where were your hands? Were your eyes closed like mine were? I didn’t want to let go, but I did. Did I hold on too long? Oh well, it’s over now. I hope I get to hold you again, but I just don’t know anymore. At times, I wonder if my effort or feelings will ever be returned, but it’s been long enough I think. People usually move on by now. “He didn’t seem excited to see you.” What’s wrong with me? Do you love me? Will you ever grow to love me? Am I wasting my time? Are you wasting your time? I think you forgot about me again. I fucked up. Have you fucked up? Would you tell me again if you did? Should I tell you I did? Would it hurt you? Would you even care? Probably not. Will we ever really talk again? I mean really talk again. Like we did on FaceTime that one day I didn’t know you were going to say anything. I thought about telling you I loved you about 80 billion times, but I didn’t. I’ve known since December, but it can wait. It’ll fade. I’m sure of it. You’ll fade. I’m sure of it. That was still a great moment with you. I don’t know. I just don’t know anymore. I’m kind of scared right now. This sht wasn’t supposed to happen, and what if I fall in love with him? I’m so scared right now. I don’t know how to be cool. To play this cool. I just need to find a distraction from this distraction. I need to stop thinking about this right now. Next paragraph.

My pink pillow has been the resting place for much of the good and bad that is in my life. That’s crazy to think about, right?! It’s just a freakin’ pillow. Yet, at the same time it is a constant in the evolution of who I have been, currently am, and strive to become.

Yoo this is was some overthinking sht at it’s finest. :)

Song Explanations:

Wicked by Mansionz featuring G was actually not one of my favorite songs from their album for the longest time. There’s this line G says and it just would make me feel upset and so I dismissed the whole song. I didn’t want to listen to it. Recently, I’ve really started liking this song. I also feel kind of bad because in some ways I am very much like that girl they are singing about. I’m sorry in advance. I hate me too. :)

THE 1975 IS MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE BAND. It takes a lot of effort for me to not put them in most Love Waves playlists. I think Girls fits perfectly with the theme and flow of this week’s comp sooooo in it went. SUCH a tune.

Wishlist is a song Kiiara literally just released a few days ago. My favorite line is, “I’ll pour the gasoline on your halo.” I’d say I am an angel or positive with good behavior about 98% of the time, but that 2% can be dangerous. It gets more dangerous when I’m with someone equally mischievous. It’s like we feed off of each other’s energy and actions.

Get Some by Ghosted featuring Kamille is a song my friend Adam sent me weeks ago. It sounds all innocent and dancy until you actually listen to the words and you’re like, “Wut tha actual phuq?” It cracks me up, but it also fits the theme. I also highly recommend the music video because you would think it’s going to be a certain way BUT the entire video is not at all what I expected.

Click here to watch the official music video for Get Some by Ghosted

Ayyyy Marty Grimes with the new release titled Cold Pizza. Make It Back is my favorite song right now off of that album. “Seeing things without you ain’t the same.” There are times in my life I wish I had you by my side. Your presence would make this song better, it would make the lighting look better, it would make these breaths I’m taking taste better, it would make me feel better, but sometimes that’s life. You learn to deal with all the moments that will never be.

Plot Twist by Marc E. Bassy featuring Kyle came out a few months ago, but Marc just released his new album Gossip Columns. Go listen to that sht. Anyways, this song is in here because things happen and all of a sudden there’s a completely unexpected plot twist that happens in your life. Like, right now I can’t tell if mine is good or bad yet and that uncertainty is scaring the living sht out of me at the moment.

“I go out just so I can reforget.” I think Lauv’s song is fairly universal for anyone going through a type of separation from someone in life. I see it all the time when people break up. Newly single people are either too heartbroken to do anything OR they go out and do everything. I completely understand what it’s like to feel and act both ways unfortunately.

Click here to read the lyrics for Reforget by Lauv

I stumbled..across Humble *pause so for intended rhyme to be acknowledged* the poet accidently a few weeks ago, but his song H.A.I.R. is extremely dope and the production feels really original to me. I like his lyrics too.

Brooooooo Take Me Away makes me feel like I’m a feather gently gliding down through the atmosphere and landing on a really brightly scenic area near a beach or maybe in a valley full of different flowers padding the space between two hills during sunset. I really like Syd’s sound too. It’s so feely and jazzy and wonderful. Lyrics and vibe on point bb.

Bad at Love. Retweet.

No Coincidence is nowhere to be found on Spotify and that kind of irked me because it makes the flow on that platform slightly different. This song makes me think about the differences between something or someone being a part of your life by coincidence or by putting effort towards something. You used to be a coincidence, and something that was just there by fate, but now you’re just effort. It’s not easy going anymore. That fact makes me really really think about whether all of that effort is taking away the possibility of something better and less forced being a part of my life. I don’t know. Then again we’re the masters sticking it out during our phases. That’s just something I thought about while writing this.

Click here to listen to No Coincidence by Khalil on YouTube

OLLA by Jhené is off of her album Trip. That project is a lot to digest because it’s a double album, but I do highly suggest you give it a listen and also watch the twenty minute film she made to go along with the album. It’s such a unique plotline and executed so well. I like that this song makes me feel like I’m in a disco surrounded by light brown bellbottoms, and pastel tie-dyed clothing, and lights flashing everywhere gently, and everyone seems really at peace, and in the moment together. I see smoke in the air, but I think we both know it’s probably not a fog machine. That’s what I see and feel in my head when I hear this song.

Right now I feel really tapped out from writing and thinking about all of this. Imma just end it now.

Love,

-E xx.