( your ruler ; my lover )

Zhongli, Albedo, and Ganyu: (Advertise their cooking with detailed scrumptious description ingredients)

Xiao: Just keep it simple. 

Xinyan:

Bernadette: Ok..?

Kira: No, no keep looking

Bernadette: I am looking!

Kira: No you're not! Look harder!

Bernadette: is there a point to this?

Kira: Yes. So look as hard as you can. Focus on every part of my face

Bernadette: alright! I am!

Lucifer x Lia

They have a daughter and she grows up refined because if you have Lucifer as a dad, of course you would

Doesn’t mean she didn’t get her forward attitude from her mom though!

Lucifer is a little strict with her, but is very affectionate and showers her with gifts

She’s top of the class, and Lia is incredibly proud of her

Mother and daughter do martial arts together and guess what - she’s amazing there too

Reese x Mammon

THEY ADOPT ONE BOY AND ONE BOY ONLY: GILES

Absolutely dotes on Giles

One time Giles gets sick and Reese and Mammon take turns taking care of him

Mammon spends so much on Giles, so the boy is never without toys

Reese can’t really cook well but once Giles joins the family he sits down and tries his damndest and he makes decent meals!

They go someplace nice every few months, like a theme park!

Levi x Bern

They have a son that is actually really outgoing compared to his dad

Their son loves the ocean and so the family goes to the aquarium and beach at least once a year

Levi and Bern made sure he could swim at an early age so he’s actually a swimming prodigy and wins all the championships

Everybody loves their son, he is so cheerful and charismatic and nice

When he comes home from school Bern always gives him a hug and a kiss

Levi made sure he’s cultured so their son also loves anime

Satan x Yen

They have a son and a daughter that are quite confident and straightforward

Satan really learned to rein in his anger but there were definitely a few times with the babies where things may have been broken…where did the hole in the wall come from?

Yen dresses their kids well and when they go out as a family she’s always getting compliments

Even online everybody compliments how cute their kids are

Bookstore trips are common in their house

They also have a cat that their kids go crazy over

Beel x Sen

They have a high energy son and a reserved daughter and BOY IS PARENTING HARD WITH THE SON

Good thing Sen already has mom energy so she keeps her boy and the even bigger boy-in-the-form-of-her-husband in line

Despite everybody thinking Beel is big kid, Beel is…big kid, but he’s actually a really competent dad

He listens to all their problems and makes sure they know they’re loved

Everybody eats well in the family…Beel eats for four families

Their daughter is quiet and studious but also stubborn and has the same appetite as her dad O H N O

Usako x Belphie

They have no children cause haha Be l phie has no e ner gy

They do have cute cats though!

The cats sleep with Belphie and Usako and honestly it’s the cutest picture

One cat is white and named Lilith :3c

Usako posts about their cats online and it actually makes their family viral

Yes Satan follows all their posts

Solomon x Horizon

Three. Gremlin. Sons.

They’re also incredibly adept at magic too

Hori has to get the chancla out to deal with them sometimes cause pranks are commonplace in the house

Doesn’t help that Solomon encourages the pranks too (with Papa Dia’s blessing)

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Lucifer: Goose

Goose: Lucifer?

Lucifer: You know how last week, you put potted plants upside down onto the ceiling for the science fair project to see if the seeds will still grow upwards?

Lucifer: And it fell down?

Goose: Yes

Lucifer: And landed on Diavolo's head?

Goose: Yes

Lucifer: And how you escaped punishment for that time.

Goose, turning their feet: Yes

Lucifer: *transforms into his demon form while pulling out a rope*

Goose: I'M FAST I'M VERY FAST-

Lucifer: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSE

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Goose: Mammon-

Mammon: No thank you

Goose: Mammon come back here-

Mammon: I don't know this guy

Goose: Mammon-

Mammon: Please Goose, just go away-

Goose: But I have an important question!

Goose: Do you or do you not have contacts with Mr. Krabs?

Mammon: * r u n s *

Goose: ARE YOU HELPING MR. KRABS OR CAN MR. KRABS HELP YOU?

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Levi, playing games with Goose: Goose no

Goose, playing games with Levi: Why not

Levi: You're on your last life and I can't defeat the boss by myself, don't go fight this guy, we can just sneak past him.

Goose: But xp

Levi: Goose

Goose: I think I can take him.

Levi: Don't, I'm not going to revive you.

Goose: I have good enough defense.

Levi: Stop

Goose: I'm going

*Goose ends up bringing the enemy guy to kill Levi first and then Goose*

The game: Player 2 is now dead

The game: Player 1, you are now on your last life

Levi: ...

Goose:

Levi: .....

Goose:

Levi: ........

Goose: L-

Levi: Get out

Goose: Levi-

Levi: Go

Goose: Levi please-

Levi: No

Goose: I can do better-

Levi: Get

Goose: I-

Levi: Out

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Satan: Goose

Goose, drinking soda: Huh?

Satan: How do you do that?

Goose, putting away the soda behind their neck: Do what

Satan: Tha.. That

Goose, now sucking on a lollipop: What?

Satan: Where did that lollipop come from-

Goose: This one? *waves it around*

Satan: Yes

Goose: It's not a lollipop

Satan: What-

Goose: *claps their hands onto the lollipop and it turns into a pocket knife*

Satan: How-

Goose: That is for me to know, and you to keep wondering.

Goose: *engulfs the pocket knife into their hand and continues sipping from their soda*

Satan:

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Asmo, getting used to Goose's goosedness: Goose your feathers are dirty.

Goose: Huh? I didn't even notice. Where?

Asmo: *goes to pinch it off* Right here-

Asmo: *pulls out a small plactic can with the word 'Playdough' on it*

Goose: Oh that's where it went, I've been looking for this for years.

Goose: *opens it* Eugh, I guess the salt got to it first.

Asmo:

Goose: *eats the salt*

Goose: *gags*

Goose: *closes the can and throws it far away into the Devildom sky* Never again

Asmo: *is near faint*

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Beel: -Which is why I don't try avocado and eggs together anymore.

Goose: All because of a little joke?

Beel: Yeah..

Goose: I gotta say, this joke is golden-

Beel's tummy:

GRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Goose:

Beel:

Goose: I think I have food on me somewhere-

Goose: *pulls out an avocado sandwich and a hard boiled egg*

Beel:

Goose:

Beel: :l

Goose: *offers up the food*

Beel: >:l

Goose: Listen, I didn't know I had these, I thought I ate them already okay?

Goose: And you don't have to eat them together, just take one-

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Belphie: Goose stop

Goose: But-

Belphie: We're not friends anymore remember?

Goose: Of course we still are. :C

Goose: Remember that time when I put a lighter shade of black dye into Lucifer's hair gel?

Goose: And then whenever he sees a mirror he just can't figure out what's wrong with his look for today but nobody else noticed?

Belphie: Yes

Belphie: But this

Belphie: *pointing at the pillowcase over his pillow* Is unforgivable

The pillowcase is a poorly drawn printed picture of Goose and Belphie setting the world on fire with the words, "Best friends" on it.

Belphie, failing to contain his smile: This is so stupid Goose.

Because of course I will be joining the collective suffering wtf

Words: 1183

Summary: Beel never gave up hope even though he began to forget her scent and her face.

Companion fic to this.

“Tender is the night / For a broken heart / Who will dry your eyes / When it falls apart.” - “Space Song” by Beach House.

tw; suicide

Word Count: 1681

Summary: The humans were forced to return from the Devildom, but when they can’t go back, what can Sen do?

Companion fic to this.

“On sunny days I go out walking / I end up on a tree-lined street / I look up at the gaps of sunlight / I miss you more than anything” - “Francis Forever” by Mitski

Because we got possibly the most angst fuel ending in existence. Don't pay me much mind, it's midnight and also sad hours.

When they realize they'd never come back to the Devildom again, Bernadette has already lost plenty of hope. She usually would be very cheery about things, though she had a bad feeling about leaving from the very start.

She's just twenty years old, and a biology major at a fairly good college.

The night of the visit, she threatens to cut off all of her (by this time, long) hair when she feels that she can no longer cry.

Faking emotions (or lack thereof) has never been her forte, so the group is so adamant on not letting her stay alone for a long time, at first.

Eventually, however, the pressure to focus back on her studies, given also by her now suspecting family, is too much for her to handle and she has to come back. There, it all goes downhill.

She locks herself in her dorm and won't come out for weeks, before receiving a formal warning which pushes her to at least attend to the lectures and exams.

Even then, she'd constantly be studying and overworking herself in order not to think about it. The illusion falls apart in sleepless nights, in which, on her DDD, she types the same things over and over.

I miss you so much.

Mononoke Land does not work on any of my devices. I'm sorry I can't use the armor you gave me.

I saw this today at the marine biology pavilion and it made me think of you. Why are you always on my mind?

I'm sorry I didn't tell you I loved you in time.

Basically, her chat with Levi becomes her new journal, since he can't respond.

Her pact marks begin to fade from not being used, and she just now figures out that the one Satan left on her has no more energy. Leviathan had lied.

Beep beep, angst train

Because apparently I enjoy pain