Equixen's Creations

The Chronicles of Narnia - Caspian/Peter

Fan videos:

The Union

O Night Divine

Remembering You

The Great War

Run To You - Original Post / Retrospective 

The Reunion

Immortals

Before You Go - Original Post / Retrospective

What Hurts the Most

Fan fiction:

You Take Me Higher

What Stays and What Fades Away

Safe In Your Hands

Our Hands Are Tied

Before You Go

Live With Me Forever Now

Image edits

Modern AU almost kiss (manip)

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They’re the same picture (meme)

Kisses in the dark (manip)

Before You Go armour scene (manip)

Kiss in an 1890′s AU (manip)

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Not needed here anymore (manip)

Goodbye/Hello (edit)

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Other:

Ocean/Sun Headcanons

The Chronicles of Narnia - Other

Fan videos:

Poison & Wine - Edmund/Sanya [OC]

Keep Us Connected - Susan Pevensie (The Last Battle)

Goodbye - Lucy, Edmund, Susan and Peter

My own merch creations:

2024 Narnia calendar

Narnia Poster

Doctor Who

Fan video: Hold My Hand – 13th Doctor/Yaz

Fan video: My Once In A Lifetime – Doctor/Rose

Fan video: It’s Out of My Hands – 9th Doctor and Clara (AU)

Fan video: Beside You - Amy/Rory

Fan video: Hurricane – The Doctor

Fan video: You’re Everything – 11th Doctor/River Song

Fan video: Silence Is All You Know - 11th Doctor/River Song

Fan video: Here With Me – 10th Doctor/Rose

Fan video: I Do (Cherish You) – Doctor/Rose

Marvel Cinematic Universe

Fan video: Unconditionally – Natasha/Bruce

Fan video: Almost Love – Steve/Bucky

Fan video: Stay – Steve/Bucky

Class

Fan video: Never Gonna Be Alone – Charlie/ Matteusz

Fan video: Sine From Above – Charlie and Miss Quill

Poster: The Cast

Xena: Warrior Princess – Xena/Gabrielle

Fan video: Space Between

Fan video: Who Knew

Fan video: End of The World

BBC Sherlock – Sherlock/John

Fan video: All of Me

Fan video: The Truth In Your Eyes

Adam Lambert

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Queer As Folk

Desktop wallpaper – Ben/Michael

Desktop wallpaper – Brian/Justin

Fan video: Say When – Ted

Fan video: It’s Complicated – Brian/Justin

Fan video: Pride – Brian/Justin

Fan video: All That I’m Asking For – Brian/Justin

Fan video: Permanent – Brian/Justin

Fan video: I’d Come For You – Brian/Justin

Other:

Fan video: Lose You Now – How I Met Your Mother - Barney/Robin

Poster: Team Free Will - Supernatural

Fan video: Somebody To Die For – Good Omens - Crowley/Aziraphale

Fan video: Better Than I Know Myself – The Witcher - Geralt/Jaskier

Fan video: Always Remember Us This Away – Outlander - Jamie/Claire

Fan video: So Cold – The Book Thief

Of course, Xena will always be so special to me for many reasons. The show was such a big part of my life back then and it was the first piece of media that got me into fandom life (at least 23 years ago now). It also got me through a REALLY tough stage of my life as I was getting to the end of my schooling. It was my first foray into reading fanfic (and even writing one solitary fanfic myself for a school assignment) and discovering the magic of fanvids before I went on to making my own. Xena and Gabrielle were my first ship that I became that emotionally invested in and I still adore them to this day. It was also the only fandom where I had the good fortune of meeting fellow Xena fans in my own city, all of whom became really good friends. We had regular catchups to watch episodes together and even travelled to USA together to attend a Xena convention and meet the actors.

It would definitely not be an exaggeration to say the Xena fandom was my life for several years. But, as with all things, it didn’t last forever and I eventually moved onto other fandoms. And there have been a LOT of fandoms over the last 23 years. All for varying lengths of time and with varying degrees of involvement. Some where I was more of a lurker and simply read fic and watched fanvids by other editors and others where I actually made and shared my own fanvids. And only a few where I was brave enough to put myself out there a bit more and get to know other fans and make some friends. Fandom highlights since Xena include Smallville, Doctor Who, Queer As Folk (US 2000 version), BBC Sherlock, the MCU (mainly Captain America but I loved the entire world) and Supernatural.

But with Narnia, it's been different in a lot of ways.  

It's the longest I've been continuously involved in a single fandom in a long time. It's the first fandom in more than ten years—I think—where I've been inspired to come out of lurkdom and engage with other fans again and I’ve made some really wonderful friends as a result. I've also been significantly more inspired in the Narnia fandom than any other fandom EVER. In that I recently passed the milestone of having made more fanvids for Narnia than any other fandom (12 for Narnia vs my previous record of 9 which I achieved for both Doctor Who and Queer as Folk). AND Narnia is the first and only fandom to inspire me to write my own fanfic since that one attempt for Xena twenty years ago. Also, while it’s not official because I haven’t yet posted my latest fanfic (it’s still a WIP), I can now say I’ve written more than 100,000 words for Caspeter across all my fanfics combined. For someone who, a mere two years ago, thought I’d never write fanfic again, this actually blows my mind and I am so very proud of this fact.

So yeah, my life has been so enriched by this fandom in sooo many ways—something that I’ll always be grateful for—and that’s the reason why I’m acknowledging another year in this fandom.

Well, I don’t think I’ve ever read fanfic for a pairing with an OC before and, when I first joined the Narnia fandom, I certainly never expected to be so invested in any pairing that wasn’t Caspeter. But I quickly came across eds-gryff work through her Caspeter edits and manips and soon became obsessed with her amazing Edmanya manips/edits as well. This prompted me to start reading ‘Alliance’ and gosh, was it a ride. I think I read the whole series over 4-5 months and I can honestly say that this series and characters have come to mean so much to me since then.

Sanya is an amazing character in her own right. And Edmund, a character who I didn’t fully connect with as much as the other Pevensies when originally rewatching these movies in 2023 but one whom I have come to appreciate so much more through her writing. Also, the way that eds-gryff wove their story into canon so seamlessly is absolutely amazing. It really felt like Sanya was there all along in canon, just slightly out of frame (or off the page). And I can’t not mention her versions of Peter, Caspian, Susan and Lucy and other original characters such as Jem, Selene, Seraphina, Sameer, Bonnie… the list goes on… I adored all of them!

So, as for the video itself… this is a mix of some moments where I’ve tried to represent specific scenes from the fanfic itself—some of which were definitely inspired by eds-gryff’s incredible manips and others that I cobbled together from other scenes in the Narnia and Aladdin films (eg. Marwan Kenzari as Jafar is standing in for Rabadash instead of his official faceclaim, Shahid Kapoor)—and others where I have just put two scenes together simply because they look like their backgrounds match while also working with a particular lyric. :)

I hope you all enjoy!

The Alliance Series: - Alliance - The Heirs - Moonshine - Fairytale? - eds-gryff’s Instagram (for all the Edmanya edits)

I came across this cover for ‘O Holy Night’ while watching ‘A Paris Christmas Waltz’ during my recent Christmas movie marathon and the idea for this video instantly became stuck in my head. Despite this being another song with religious connotations, I have once again made this all about Caspian and Peter and their relationship :)  

To clarify the story, we start with an older Caspian pondering his past which quickly flashes back to the night of Miraz and Prunaprismia’s child being born and leads up to Caspian meeting Peter. Their relationship plays out like in the movie with a first kiss occurring just before the duel. After the battle is over and celebrations have begun, Peter retires to his bedchamber and Caspian soon follows. Alone together for the first time since before the battle and relieved they both made it through, all their pent-up desires quickly flood to the surface and they share a night of passion. The following morning, Caspian wakes up alone and then the big farewell takes place. But, just before Peter passes through the archway, Caspian calls out to him and Peter turns back. We then flash forward again to the scene from the start of the video to find out that Caspian and Peter are still together in Narnia, quietly talking about the events of their past.

Okay, so this one actually has an interesting origin story and that’s because this fanvid was very close to being my first Caspeter fanvid and also very close to never happening at all.

Let me explain… 😊

When I first became obsessed with Caspeter, it wasn’t long till I decided to try making a fanvid about them. I started by going through my music and eventually narrowed it down to two songs. This one and ‘What Hurts the Most’. I liked both songs very much so it was quite possible that ‘Before You Go’ would have been the first one to be edited although I ultimately decided on ‘What Hurts the Most’.

As for why this fanvid was almost never made at all… well that’s because, at the time, I thought Narnia and Caspeter would go the way of many of my other recent fandoms up till that point. That I would do one fanvid, maybe two if I was lucky, but eventually either my interest in that fandom would wane or something new would come along to take its place as my latest obsession. So, I knew that by picking one song over the other, it was quite possible the second one might never have been made.

Well, we all know how that turned out. 🤣 Several more fanvids (and even fanfics) later, Caspeter and Narnia ended up becoming so important to me for various reasons (I’ve written more about this in another post if that’s of interest) which led to Caspeter becoming my OTP of OTPs. 🥰

Alright, now onto the lyrics. This fanvid is all from Caspian’s POV.

‘I fell by the wayside like everyone else’

I feel like there are a couple of ways this line can be looked at for Caspian. Firstly, it’s Caspian personally feeling like he doesn’t measure up to the High King from Narnia’s golden age. And secondly, that Caspian thinks that Peter sees him as less-than because of his Telmarine heritage. Also, I still really like the visuals I chose for this sequence… of Caspian deferring to the higher status of the Pevensies and hanging back as they enter the How for the first time.

‘I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, but I was just kidding myself’

Yep, Peter drives Caspian absolutely crazy in the beginning. Two young men with their own axes to grind and who are out to prove themselves. Caspian both hates how stubborn Peter is during the strategising at the How, but also can’t help seeing beyond that tough exterior that Peter puts up. Someone who is both more and less than what Caspian grew up hearing about in all those stories. Because Peter might not be all that he imagined in terms of the magnificent battle-hardened warrior (at least not at first glance) but he’s also more human and more beautiful and has more heart than Caspian ever could have imagined.

‘Our every moment, I start to replace, 'cause now that they're gone, all I hear are the words that I needed to say’

Despite the connection they share, their time together is over too soon. And once Peter is gone, Caspian can’t help regretting all the things he never told Peter while he had the chance. While I’ve had multiple versions of what Caspian might regret after Peter leaves Narnia in my head for different projects over the last year and a half, when I was editing this fanvid, I was very much imagining this to be that Caspian never told Peter that he loved him.

‘When you hurt under the surface, like troubled water running cold. Well, time can heal but this won't’

I think this was the line that first made me take notice of this song as a potential Caspeter fanvid. The way it reflects their regret over the loss of so many lives after the failed castle raid. It is something that will probably haunt both of them for the rest of their lives. And even though we had no closeup of Caspian’s face when they escape the courtyard, I was rather pleased that I was able to fake one by using a shot of Caspian from the start of the film which I still think works rather well. 😊

‘So, before you go, was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better? If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather’

Apart from his siblings—who Peter could never hope to hide anything from—I feel like Peter is the kind of person who’d keep his troubles close to his chest. So, for most of the time that Caspian and Peter would have known each other, there’s so much about Peter that would’ve been a mystery to Caspian. And at the top of that list would be the hardships Peter had faced as a result of being forced back into his old life after living in Narnia for so long. Constantly being underestimated by the adults in his life as well as being bullied and belittled by his peers.

‘So, before you go, was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting? It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless’

There are definitely times when Peter feels worthless. But for the first instance of this line, I chose a moment where Peter feels like he’s worth less than others. And what better representation is there than the, “what about your own future?” deleted scene between Caspian and Peter. Caspian learns for the first time just how much Peter is willing to sacrifice for those he loves and for the greater good. Even his own life. That thought alone scares Caspian more than anything so he prompts Peter to think about his own future in the hopes that it will give him something else to fight for.

‘So, before you go, would we be better off by now, if I'd have let my walls come down? Maybe I guess we'll never know, you know, you know’

The moment when it all comes to an end. Caspian has just been crowned King and is looking forward to getting to know Peter away from the hardships of war. Just seeing where these feelings take them. But then Peter drops the bombshell that they’re leaving and Caspian can’t do a thing to stop it. All he has left now is regret. Regret over all those missed opportunities where he could have said how he felt but didn’t as well as wondering what could have been if he had. 😢 And I still rather love that sequence for, “I guess we'll never know, you know, you know,” where it looks like Peter is kicking himself for not being brave enough to say something to Caspian when they’d had a moment upon first entering Cornelius’ office. 😊

‘Before you go, was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better? If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather’

When Caspian finds Peter during his and Susan’s talk with Aslan, he can see that something isn’t right with Peter. He wants to help but how can he when he never knew the depths of what Peter, a king to a nation that had been home to him and his siblings for 15 years, had dealt with by being flung back into their own world against his wishes. A loss of self, of purpose and of feeling like he truly belonged.

‘So, before you go, was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting? It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless’

And now we come to the second instance of this line where I focus on a moment when Peter feels worthless. Of course, no one is harder on Peter then Peter himself. As the High King, he has the weight of the world on his shoulders and he when he messes up, he feels the shame of it in every fibre of his being. After the failed castle raid, and the subsequent run-in with Jadis, Caspian starts to see a side of Peter that he never had before. The side that makes mistakes and, in his darkest moments, doubts his value. And that only makes him feel for Peter all the more and wish he knew the right things to say that would make Peter feel otherwise.

‘So, before you go’

And lastly the ending. What can I say about the ending that hasn’t already been said. I mean, between Peter’s, “we’re not really needed here anymore,” and Caspian’s, “I will look after it until you return,” has there ever been a scene where two people who love each other have said so much and yet so little at the same time?? They were so close to having it all and now they’re being torn apart as Peter walks out of Caspian’s life, never to return. 😢

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