ｅ。ｌｅｇａｔｉ

And I’m still here picking up the pieces you left me with

Only to find shards still left unfound

How I yearned to be loved by you with a love like mine again

And yet

I still haven’t found all of me

It’s even crazier to think that I lost my car, you, and my dad all within the same quarter and I still tried to carry on like my head wasn’t blown clean off.

I got yelled at today about having no oil in my car

And all I can think is about how I spiraled 7 something years ago and how much I resent you for stealing my very essence and using it for a good time

And all I can think about is how much I loved my car

And no longer wish to touch the same things I loved

And maybe that’s why I have such a hard time with relationships

Because as much as I’ve moved on, I haven’t found myself

I’m so uncomfortable in my own skin and I won’t ever be able to help that.

And that also sucks

Like where does the line get drawn

When am I allowed to be okay

When do I get to continually have peace

Because it’s really not okay to feel like this constantly every night

It hurts so much man

The problem?

I DONT WANT TO FUCKING FEEL ANYTHING

I don’t even remember where the fuck I got this shit from

"I'll love you for eternity"

To

"I don't need you anymore"

“You miss the old me. You miss someone that loved you so much, you never had to love them back”

"How do you know I 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 want to love you?"