ilya had to broach something with shane. he really didnβt want to, but he had been working on his reticence issues in therapy and really was trying to be a better communicator in his relationship.
his husband had just opened the bathroom door after his shower, steam billowing out into the bedroom.
βyeah?β shane called back. a moment later heβs exiting the en suite, one towel around his waist, the other drying his hair.
ilya is not sure how to start this conversation. βi want to tell you about something,β he tries.
he sees the flicker of a hundred different thoughts in shaneβs eyes as he processes his words: confusion, fear, wariness. he immediately wants to placate him, but isnβt sure how to. heβs trying to regulate his own emotions right now, and doesnβt have the energy to also regulate shaneβs.
βokayβ¦β shane says. he takes a deep breath and then takes a seat next to a shirtless, just woken up ilya on the bed.
ilya takes a deep breath to steady himself, before placing a hand on shaneβs bare thigh. βsomething has been bothering me.β
okayβmaybe not the most solid start. but heβs using his words!
βokayβ¦β shane says again. βyou can tell me anything ilya. i love you.β
ilya smiles a little at that and squeezes shaneβs knee. βi know, moy lyubimyy.β he looks down to the floor before continuing. βi was wondering if β¦ if you could maybe β¦ not go for runs in the morning?β
shaneβs eyebrows furrow, almost comically, with confusion, but ilya misses it, still having his gaze on the floor. βum? yeah? i guess? why?β
ilya hesitates for a moment before deciding to just come out with it. βi donβt like not waking up next to you. ever since you moved in you are always up and on a run when i wake up. and i donβt like it.β
shane is quiet for a moment, which prompts ilya to lift his eyeline back to shaneβs. shaneβs lips are parted and his eyes are already turning glossy; just a rim of water on his lower lash line.
shane then tackles ilya then to the bed, straddling his legs and wrapping his arms firmly around him. they breathe like that together for a second, before shane says, βyeah, ilya, of course. maybe we can switch to evening runs instead? and go together? weβll have to work something out on game nights butββ
ilya cuts him off by flipping him over, taking shaneβs position on top. shaneβs towel is nowhere to be found, so heβs bare, and ilya is still in his sleepwear, which is just boxer briefs. ilya starts planting kisses all over shaneβs face. βare you sure? do you mind? i could try and start waking up earlier instead?β
shane squirms from the attention and chuckles. βno ilya, i donβt mind. i donβt want you to wake up earlier; you donβt always sleep well. iβll just adjust my schedule and go to bed a bit later so we have time for a run after dinner.β
ilya is surprised with how shockingly well this is going. he knows shane loves him, but he also know how much shane loves his routine. but maybe they can find a new routine together, now that they are husband and husband, and playing on the same team.
βthank you,β ilya says before flopping himself down into a full body embrace, still on top of shane.
he feels weirdly raw and emotional, tears forming in his eyes. shane just holds him tightly and doesnβt make a big deal about the crying, like usual when ilya gets like this. he rubs his back in soothing strokes, kisses his forehead a few times and whispers a barely audible, βya tebya lyublyu.β
