EQUINOX INDUSTRIES

As you may know, a highly respected member of the Equinox Family™ has broken our Trust™.

Our™ hard work was vandalized by an employee we used to hold in the highest regard! Her horrible actions have led to you, the customer, experiencing these delays in service and even full blackouts from our company list.

She has been booted from our Family™, and we are working to fix these issues with haste.

MANN CO MANN CO MANN CO MANN CO MANN CO MANN CO

I’m not ready to move on, I wasn’t ready to go.

But I’ve been forced to run, and I won’t let him get away with what he’s done to me.

The day I saw RED.

Joey here. Uh, this whole transport to your company thing is taking a little longer than I expected. Usually I just phase between worlds and then go to my little slice of unused sprite heaven, but now that it’s gone, I’m having a lot of trouble pinning down exactly where I’m supposed to go.

But don’t worry, I’ll be there!

…eventually.

With love,

Joey

Have no fear, our esteemed new friend! You’ll be there eventually. That’s an Equinox™ guarantee!

This will not affect Equinox Industries™ distributed products and technology in the slightest, we assure the best of quality to our customers!

No, the shortage is because we’ve been doing a lot of work around here! Building up stock, creating better inventions, and one in particular were thinking may chance the world as we know it!

Or, well, the universe as we know it.

Your next

Your next p̸̛͓̂̾̏̚ư̸͉̠̪̇̀̐͑r̴̘͇͐͗̒̚ç̴̲͍̫̣͠h̸̛̻́͝ͅa̴̙͒̃̕s̴̖̒̉e̸̞͚͍͎͂ of,

Our advertisement campaigns have been going so swell! We’ve even got a new partner, many friends!

Why on earth would Mann Co. hate this sort of thing? They’re sure missing out…

We do this for YOU! Mann Co wouldn’t patch their security systems for their customers! They wouldn’t patch the weapons they give out for high prices! That’s right, Equinox™ is ensuring happiness and high quality!

So, you’re trying to siphon some information for fellow spies, yeah?

This is an automated voice message from me! Joey!

I probably won’t be here when you get to this little message of mine. I’ve got a personal date coming up.

Anyhoo, I heard you and another company don’t exactly like the R.E.D team. I’ve been keeping an eye on you for a while, see? I didn’t really mind the mercs, but, uh...that’s sorta changed. A lot of things have changed on my end.

I’ve got a little slice of life place called @unknown-detected . When we both have a sec, why don’t you mosey on down there? I’d like to talk about how I can, well, y’know...make those bastards pay.

And I don’t take credit card.

I ain’t asking for a magazine subscription.

With their lives, not with money.

Something they can never withdraw.

With their misery.