I used to listen to bedtime stories on the phone. But one day, I forgot what the story was about, then the phone never rang again.
— If that is an order, then I will see to it.
an independent / selective / low-activity / multi-muse blog for path to nowhere muses hecate, nightingale, lisa, chelsea, and kelvin . written by rei .
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SIMULATED UNIVERSE
- a heavy lit 22+ discord rp server for honkai star rail
You don't find the device; the device finds you. On your doorstep, in your mailbox, on your bed as you're about to turn in for the night. It is no bigger than the size of an envelope, though perhaps it is a little thicker. The device, with a label stuck to the front of it, is addressed to you.
It lights up when you approach, blinking once, twice, before it begins to unfold. It reveals mechanical arms, and mechanical legs, and finally, the body of a small girl with long hair. She stares impassively ahead, eyes open but glazed over, head drooped to one side. Until, very suddenly, she sparks to life. Gears whir as she adjusts herself to look directly at you.
“... Hello. Potential Research Participant.” The puppet tilts its head as though considering you. “I am Herta, of the Herta Space Station. Perhaps you have heard of me. I'm a busy person so I can't visit in person, so I'll be conducting this preliminary interview through my ranged puppet instead.”
“My work concerns the Universe and its multitudes of Possibilities. You have been identified as someone who could help me with my research. Maybe. As long as you stay interesting to me.”
you are the inability to rely on others without feeling like a burden.
you're spending way too much time trying to find an explanation for everything you do and think, aren't you? you feel like all of the answers have to come from inside of you, since that's the role you've grown into. from the outside, people think you have it together. they see your open arms as invitation, and therefore keep leaning on you. at first, it was okay, since you wanted to help. but slowly, you're being dragged further and further down. you need help, too. but you're supposed to be there for everyone else. you're the one they go to when they're struggling. you've put everyone else first, and now you feel like you can't allow others to know that you need help. please, stop telling yourself you're fine. deep down, you know you aren't. things don't have to be this way. you can let those people in. if anything, they will be grateful that you reached out. can you imagine how nice it'd feel to take a break from dealing with this all on your own?
( what is holding you back? // chelsea )
you are the inability to see the good in yourself, therefore relying on others to provide it for you.
your heart is so full for the people you love. it's sweet, but you've now forgotten how to care for yourself. you only seem to see great things in the people around you. they're wonderful, and you... you don't like what you're seeing in yourself, right? you need to be reminded that you're enough. that you're talented. that you're worthy. that's partly the reason why you reach out so much. you need to hear it from the lips of someone "better" than you. but afterwards, it makes you feel even more guilty and upset. you feel like your actions are self absorbed. you're aiming for perfection because you see it in others. you're failing to see the flaws in everyone else. i promise, you're no monster. i could say this again and again, but will you believe me when i say you need to find it out for yourself?
Tagged by: @queenoftheboard and @cxnvicts, thank you !!
Tagging: whoever wants to do this !! please steal it from me !!
Heeeere's McQueen again. Always hovering over Lisa's shoulders, humming and nodding to herself as she watches Lisa crush a few bumbling fools who dare speak against the critic with little to no substantial evidence to back their claims. And, as always, McQueen lets out a quick Ah! forefinger extending towards the screen. "You made a typo, Miss Lisa."
It's unfortunate that she's right, though. McQueen is, that is. Lisa had spotted the mistake the moment before McQueen's fingertip was about to reach her monitor. The moment before McQueen had pointed it out. Because she doesn't need anyone's help, least of all McQueen's.
She's quick to swat McQueen's hand away before the other woman smears her disgusting fingerprints all over Lisa's monitor. A flick of her wrist; snappy, like she means business. Because she does. McQueen should know better than to get in her way. Really, McQueen should know better than to be constantly hovering at Lisa's side like an irritating fly, but she's not the kind of woman who seems to be able to take a hint, either. Which isn't helping Lisa's mood in the slightest.
"I saw that already," she says, irritably. The mistake is corrected in a rapid flurry of keyboard taps. "Don't touch my screen."
Waves, waves !! I'm Serin & I'm opening commissions. My dog needs surgery & I'm obligated as a doggo mom to do everything I can, starting from what I can do. I do mostly art & graphics, examples can be found in my CARRD along with prices and how the payment goes ♥
I can do graphics that cover almost everything you can think of: icon borders, banners, dividers, promos, even backgrounds !! if the material is permitted to use ( your original characters, original art, official art, etc ). As for my art: I will do ship fanart, canon fanart, original characters, difficult or heavy armor ( discussed & charged if needed ).
Thank you for reading. Please like & reblog to spread the word !! Thanks a bunches !! Here is my ko - fi.
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( guess who just finished writing their thesis !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's not really very good and i still have to check the bibliography over and do a final pass for grammar and mistakes etc but i'm DONE i'm done i'm done
and that means i can finally get back to writing replies for everyone i owe... soon i promise... thanks again to everyone waiting on me aaa )
( not to post about how much i love niijima makoto on main but i really... really love niijima makoto. on main. like i never forget it but sometimes it just particularly hits me with the force of an entire train )
Dalia can't help but smile fondly at the younger girl, stroking her head almost like it was the most natural thing to do. The reason for such an action wasn't really at the forefront of the chief's mind. She had looked like she needed something, and Dalia had just...felt the need to comfort her. Pamper her the tiniest bit.
Not that she wasn't completely embarrassed at first, cheeks flushing at Hecate's wide-eyed reaction, before she lets out a quieted sigh of relief when Hecate starts to enjoy it.
The question Hecate asks brings Dalia her own wide-eyed surprise, but it soon softens up again with an audible sigh. "You always do a good job, Hecate. I just thought you'd might like this." Honest to a fault as ever, at least when it came to the people she was most comfortable with. She doesn't mind staying like this for however long Hecate desired either, no matter how long that may be.
She can't help but preen a little, the Chief's praise. Even if Hecate's version of preening only really takes the form of a little smile that tugs at the corners of her lips. It's there, though, even if the way her head is bowed makes her hair hang around the sides of her face like a curtain, and the Chief might not be able to see. Even if it's Hecate's little secret--one she's still a little too shy to share, that the Chief makes her feel this at peace.
Her question surprises Hecate, though. The Chief thought she might like this. She's never had someone tell her that they'd thought about what she might like. It's strange to her that someone would do this. Still strange. Even though she's known this Chief for a little while, now. Hecate doesn't know if she'll ever get used to it.
But it's not an unpleasant thing, either. She hums, quietly, in acknowledgement.
She doesn't know how long it's appropriate for the Chief to continue to indulge her like this, but she doesn't really want the Chief to stop, either.
"Would you like it?" She asks, after a while. "If I were to pat your head too."
Meetings with Councilman Enoch were inevitably boring - the men who invariably occupied these seats all shared the same background (wealthy individuals from traditional Eastside families) and were used to having DisCity at their feet. Eirene knew she was facing certain bias there - a female president of a business conglomerate, and one that did not come from within the confines of the city.
Perhaps another soul would have given up - but the Campbell heiress was made of tougher stuff; unflinching like the diamonds worn on her fingers. The gems glittered under the light of the room as the blonde drummed her digits over the polished wood, itching to return to a chessboard and move pieces in a worthy use of her time instead of that mockery of her intelligence.
But perhaps that visit had not served only for empty pleasantries while seeking to further establish their connection (a very much needed one if Eirene ever hoped to set foot in the Syndicate, even if indirectly); a curious sound went off while they were there, and an aide to the politician walked into the room shortly after the beeping noise was suspended.
Intrigued, the woman leaned forward in her seat - she couldn't make out the whispered words between the men across her, but Enoch was quick to address his guest next, already rising from his seat and putting an ending to their time ahead of schedule (frankly, a blessing in the eyes of the business magnate).
"Miss Eirene, I do apologize - apparently the alarms are acting up at the residential district. It's probably nothing, but it is my sworn duty to check and ensure the citizens are safe against any Sinners," Enoch was babbling vital information to her - and he had no idea! He probably believed the blonde lady sitting across him to be a mere ambitious business owner, and likely a pawn he could steer towards his own goals... While, in truth, Eirene vastly outperformed him. That relationship existed only because the head of the Campbell family stood to profit from it; not the councilman and his inflated ego.
"I understand, councilman Enoch. The safety of the citizens must always come first. Good luck out there, we shall pick this up next time," the woman agreed pleasantly, and waited until the man was out of the room to open her own phone and call for her driver, immediately sending a few e-mails and messages out. They had a contact within District 14's monitoring team - surely they could provide more specific details about when and where the alarms had been triggered.
After all - Eirene's cover as a normal human had only lasted so long not only because her M-levels did not fluctuate (a gift of her incredibly rational mind), but also because there was a secondary plan in motion: bribing the relevant officers and making sure they had no idea about the true origin of the money they received.
Not a minute went by and the information was already on her phone screen - a complete address with coordinates and the timestamp of the event, but that gave Eirene pause. For precious seconds, the businesswoman stood motionless in the hallway, incapable of moving back or forward and just thinking about what that message entailed.
"Fuck," an uncharacteristic expletive left her lips, but the blonde soon schooled her features into something cool and composed, heading outside with brisk steps and taking her seat at the back of the sleek black vehicle which had been dutifully waiting for Quinn's president and CEO, "Take me to Chelsea, Sullivan. Now."
Blood, Chelsea thinks, shines a lot like well-cut rubies. In the right light, of course.
But isn't that the case with everything? Held at the right angle, anything can catch the light in a way that'll make it sparkle and shine. That's what makes Chelsea sparkle and shine. Her ability to see beauty in the dullest things. Where to chip a little off, where to chisel. How best to expose the facets of a thing--the beautiful and inevitably the ugly, too. It was only a matter of time.
Blood makes her hands slick, and she has to try once, twice, three times before she manages to seize the Count by his clothes, fabric bunched between her fingers, and roll him over onto his back. Even like this, it takes a little doing--he's bigger than her, and heavier. Little Chelsea; weak Chelsea. Can't do anything on her own, Chelsea. Chelsea's never been all that strong. Ha. Not that it'd mattered in the end.
His eyes are still open, but glassy. His mouth, gaping, as he'd tried to take one last, wretched gasp. There's no movement, no reaction as she slaps a hand clean across his face, leaving a wet handprint. His head snaps to the side with the force of it. It stays there, hung at an awkward angle, in a congealing pool of his own blood.
... Disgusting. How truly disgusting. He disgusts her. He should have always disgusted her--should have saved her the trouble of a year of pain and anguish. But that's not his fault. She's just the fool who had been too desperate--too hopeful--too stupid seen it sooner. After all this, she still feels disgusting. Dirty. But it could be worse. They could have--
No. She doesn't want to think about that right now. She wouldn't have let it get that far. She wouldn't. She didn't.
... But she's definitely made a bit of a mess now...
She only begins to tremble as she pushes herself to her feet, feeling sticky as she tracks bloody footprints across the floor as she goes in search of her clothing, strewn across the floor. Hands trembling as she reaches for what remains of her dress, discarded somewhere earlier by one of those... Those...
There's a long, large rip on one side. It must have been torn when one of them had tried to grab at her. It's a pity. Chelsea had liked that dress. A pretty, silky affair--red to bring out her eyes. It feels, in places, heavy and wet. She's not sure which one had dirtied it with their blood, but it doesn't matter. They'd all ended more or less the same way. And a ruined dress is the least of her problems. She can buy a new dress--or a hundred more. She can have this dress remade--better and more beautiful than the first. The Count could snap his fingers and have the world heel for him. All of that--his title, his money, his power--is hers, now. All of it.
But that won't mean a thing if she's thrown in prison. Locked away--left to rot. Without her freedom, and without options, either. No better than she'd started.
... What should she do? What can she do? Despair is starting to prick hotly at the backs of her eyeballs; starting to make her chest feel tight. She barely notices the hot, wet feeling of tears sliding down her cheeks at first. Not until the sound of muted splattering becomes the sound of something hard falling against marbled flooring instead.
A little pile of diamonds rests at her feet. ... It'd probably fallen from her dress in the heat of the moment, or from one of her necklaces, or something like that. But she can't afford to be distracted now--not when she can hear alarms going off--and it doesn't seem to just be in her head, for once--she has to do something. Before she loses everything.
There's a vault under the the Count's Court. It's usually used to store valuables. Chelsea had seen it once--near the beginning, she thinks, back when the Count had still cared what she thought about him. Back when he had cared about impressing her--with his wealth, with his power, with how much he truly loved her--really. With how he couldn't live without her. How she surely wouldn't be able to live without him.
... It comes to mind now, because no one has access to it. No staff member, not even Chelsea herself. Not without the Count's permission, or the key he always keeps on his person. ... Always.
She's not sure how she'll manage to drag him down there. Not sure how she'll manage to get the others, too. Not without alerting half the Court's staff members--not without leaving a bloody trail--and not even considering all those things. She's weak, after all. Little Chelsea. Weak Chelsea. Can't do anything on her own Chelsea.
But she still has to try. She doesn't have a choice but to cross the room once more and try to find purchase with her arms, with her hands--some way to be able to move him. It's hard to see still, with her tears clouding her vision. But she doesn't think the Count had ever been this heavy. Or it being this difficult to hold on. Or that his body would be this could, this quickly...
She doesn't understand how or why it could have happened. How the Count's body could have transformed, as though by magic, into solid gemstone. Doesn't understand--but understands, at least, that it doesn't matter. They can't blame her if they can't find a body. And they won't. Not a single one.
Blood still slicks the marble floor, but it shines like so many of the diamonds that the Count likes to keep in his court. An accident, Chelsea is already planning to tell them. She'd slipped and gotten hurt on one of these garish gemstone sculptures (she had been hurt--they had hurt her) and made a mess of herself. That silly Countess. That stupid Chelsea.
note: actions are from the receiver’s pov. send ‘reverse’ to change perspective
GENERAL:
[ sit ] for your muse to quietly sit by mine
[ lay ] for your muse to come rest their head in mine’s lap or against their shoulder
[ need ] for your muse to come to mine for help
[ want ] for your muse to show up in mine’s room in the middle of the night
[ shower ] for our muses to bathe together
[ flower ] for our muses to grow something together
[ peak ] for your muse to teasingly sneak up on mine and put their hands over mine’s eyes
[ hike ] for my muse to take yours hand and lead them somewhere
[ sleep ] for our muses to wake up in the same bed
[ caress ] for your muse to hug mine without explanation
[ kiss ] for my muse to kiss yours forehead
[ assist ] for your muse to help mine with their appearance (braiding hair, fixing tie etc)
[ first ] for our muses first kiss
[ hurt ] for your muse to find mine injured
[ heal ] for my muse to treat yours injury
[ scream ] for our muses to find something horrific
[ body ] for our muses to stumble on a crime scene
[ martyr ] for my muse to die/almost die for yours
[ sob ] for my muse to open up about a traumatic experience
[ share ] for our muses to share something for survival (food, water, body warmth, clothing etc)
NSFW:
1. for your muse to give mine oral
2. for my muse to finger yours
3. for your muse to top mine
4. for your muse to pull mine’s hair
5. for your muse to tie mine up
6. for our muses to have drunk sex
7. for the morning after a one night stand
8. for my muse to wake yours up with sex
9. for my muse to spank yours
10. for your muse to tease mine/withhold orgasm
WORDS:
“ stop. ”
“ please. ”
“ i want you here. ”
“ i don’t know how to talk about it. ”
“ we can just sit here, you don’t have to talk. ”
“ you can trust me. ”
“ please, trust me. ”
“ just talk to me, please. ”
“ i love you. ”
“ i hate you. ”
“ will you stay with me? just for tonight. ”
“ i don’t want to sleep alone. ”
“ i’ll stay. ”
“ stay. ”
“ just go. ”
“ i don’t know how to ask for help. ”
“ tell me something good. ”
“ i like seeing you smile. ”
“ you make me feel safe. ”
“ help me. ”
“ you’re safe with me. ”
“ i won’t let anyone hurt you. ”
“ you don’t need to protect me. ”
“ tell me why you stayed. ”
“ why should i trust you? ”
“ i believe you. ”
“ i need you. ”
“ i just want to be needed. ”
“ i have nothing left to give. ”
“ i don’t know what to say. ”
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Hecate's adorable attempt at winking appeared more like a blink than anything, what with her left eye covered, and the sight of it only has Chameleon letting out a laugh. Sweet and genuine, unlike the practiced laughter she'd often share with others.
❝ I suppose it is like that, yes. But I wouldn't suggest it, with your eye hidden and all. ❞ Taking Hecate's face in her hand, Chameleon bites back the urge to chuckle, her smile still there as she brushes her thumb over Hecate's covered eye. ❝ And a hidden meaning like... ❞ an innuendo, but Chameleon would have to be a fool to mention the word to Hecate and curse herself with the task of teaching the other what it meant.
So, hmm... What would be a good example?
❝ ... Like whenever Bai Yi mentions she is going to take a walk outside for a breather, for example, only for us to find out moments later she had escaped once more. She says one thing and then does another. Some also wink to appear cuter. Such as Summer, when she asks Chief for a new figurine of her favourite anime. ❞
"I suppose." Chameleon must be right. It's a shame. For a moment, Hecate briefly considers unravelling the bandages she keeps secure around her eye, but dashes the idea immediately. Adjutant Nightingale would be furious with her, and unnecessarily exposing Chameleon and the rest of the facility to the possibility of harm is not something she wishes to do. Feeling cold, Hecate abandons that idea completely.
She nearly flinches as Chameleon's thumb brushes over her covered eye. She's not sure what she thinks the older woman would do--push down? Dig her nails in? But Chameleon never hurts her, not on purpose. It's an unreasonable thought. A childish reaction. Hecate steels herself. Resolves to stay still. She can't see what Chameleon is doing with her hand, so she tracks the movement of Chameleon's face, instead. Watching as Chameleon seems to think. Seems to consider the best way to educate Hecate on something she probably ought already to know.
"... I don't understand. What is so hidden about Bai Yi wanting to escape?" She had thought such a thing was incredibly obvious to anyone who paid attention for longer than a minute. "Does appearing cuter act as a means of persuading someone to do something?" Does it only work on the Chief?
she is a little disappointed with the woman's answer but more amused than anything with how robotic she comes across. it elicits many questions, ones serpent is just dying to ask and get answers to. but they'd only just begun chatting and she'd like to take her time getting to know this sinner in particular. her ability was interesting, the shadow monster that followed her, like a sickness clung to her back, fascinates hers.
a high-pitched giggle escapes her and she raises her hand to cover her mouth, one sharp, black nail tapping against her bottom lip in thought. ❝ who cares about those names? i want to know your real name! what does the chief call you? doesn't it start with a 'h'...? ❞
trailing off, a sudden idea hits her and she noticeably brightens up. ❝ i have an idea! i could try guessing and you could tell me if i'm getting warmer or cooler, what do you think? ❞
"It does." Start with H. Hecate doesn't understand this thing people seem to have with not addressing others by their serial number. Hecate herself doesn't mind it. But she's since come to the realisation that her preferences are not representative of most people. ... Still, she doesn't understand why names are so often the first thing that people want to know about. Does something like that really matter so much?
But it seems to be amusing Serpent. She thinks. That's what giggling means, right? Amusement? She doesn't understand what could be so funny, though. She doesn't understand what could be so entertaining about a game like this, either. But far be her to question Serpent about it.
"If that's what you want to do. I don't really mind." Hecate tilts her head. "Warmer means closer to the right answer, and cooler means further away away from the right answer. Is that correct?"
" can i see it? " a single answer does nothing to satiate their curiosity, now wanting to know what it is she draws and how much of it. why does she even carry around a sketchbook, anyway? does it even get used? why does she have one, but not them? so many questions. child blinks, gaze flickering towards the plushie in arm. as if to show it off, oliver takes a step back, outstretching the dear animal so it's closer to her so she can take a proper look. " it's a unicorn; have you never seen a unicorn before? "
"You can't." Her voice is soft but her refusal is firm. Perhaps without realising it, she hugs her sketchbook closer to her chest; her knuckles whiten as her grip on it tightens. "Adjutant Nightingale says that it's best not for anyone to see my drawings. I don't want to give people nightmares."
She watches, though, as Oliver takes a step back. As they hold their plushie out to her, as though trying to show it off to her. Open, as opposed to her closed. In a single step, they've earned her admiration.
"I haven't." She tilts her head, tracking her eye slowly from Oliver's face to the plushie. A unicorn, is it? It looks like a horse with a protrusion coming from its head. Is that the point? "Where do unicorns come from?"
' you know, adjutant, ' she addressed the other woman suavely, a hand placed on her shoulder, ' you work so hard. and, yet, it looks like you're hardly being appreciated. a whole shame, if you ask me. ' mya brought her storm-like gaze to seek nightingale's eyes.
' why don't you... hang out with me for a while, hmm? believe me, out there, i would be able to spoil you rotten and not a single person would dare to touch you. i sadly can only offer you my company. ' a sigh. ' and maybe something to eat and drink. you don't have to exhaust yourself all the time, you see. ' ( i could not resist being gay for nightingale )
It's not exactly the same as being propositioned by S-148--which Nightingale does not have firsthand experience with, but can imagine well enough, having had the... Pleasure... Of witnessing S-148 interact with the Chief on more than one occasion. As long as she doesn't hear the words sugar baby, though, it can't possibly be as bad as that.
She has no idea what Mya wants with her, really--no idea what could have caught her interest so as to inspire something like this. Nightingale can only imagine that Mya wants something. From her, or from the Chief, or something she lacks the perspective to imagine--Nightingale does not know. But she won't be getting. Not even with such sweet talk.
Mya's hand is an unfamiliar weight on her shoulder that Nightingale doesn't think she'll be allowing become anything other than that. She doesn't shake the Sinner off, but she does level Mya a stern gaze. A warning gaze.
"No one asked you." There's no way of sugarcoating or softening words like that. But it is not her intention to be unnecessarily rude or cruel.
"... But I appreciate the sentiment," she says, a moment later. It's not relenting even if she softens her tone of voice, only somewhat. Distant but polite. Professional, as she's been trained. "I don't think it would be very appropriate, though. I can assure you that I am more than capable of taking care of myself."
' you have to try and trust me this once. even since we've met, you've always taken care of me. but, i want to take care of you, too. you are my friend and i won't let anything happen to you. ' ( chief to hecate )
"We are... Friends, Chief?" It's not quite disbelief in her tone, but a quiet sort of surprise. For the most part, the Sinner sounds as unmoved as she always does, but that's not quite the truth.
The Chief is sometimes prone to emotional declarations like these. This is not entirely out of character for her. But such kindness and such earnestness never ceases to catch Hecate off-guard. To take her aback. To move her, really--despite what her tone of voice might suggest.
It means a lot. Even though, even after all this time, Hecate's still not quite sure what to make of it.
It's nice, though. A gesture like that. Kindness like that. This time, as so many other times, Hecate will allow a small smile to tug at the corners of her lips.
"I have always trusted you, though." She has. Since the Chief had reached out to meet Hecate half way, since she'd felt the clasp of those shackles, Hecate has trusted her. But not only because of those shackles. Hecate's gaze finds the Chief's, and stays there. "You don't have to worry about anything happening to me. To be by your side is the purpose of Hecate." As long as she can do that, then that's all that matters, as far as she's concerned.
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' i know what you're going to say, but listen : i've got to try and get to the bottom of this. if i don't do this, who will? everyone is too happy to move on without wanting to find out the truth. ' ( chief for nightingale )
But that's not your responsibility--is what she wants to say. But somehow, she can't will herself to form the words. Maybe it's because a part of her knows that the Chief is right. That the Chief is telling the truth. If she doesn't do this, then who will?
But it shouldn't have to be that way. She shouldn't have to do it alone. She doesn't have to do it alone.
"Then let me help you." Nightingale's eyes are fierce; there's a steel in her tone that brooks no argument. "That's my duty. To assist you with your work--with anything you decide to do. You might be the only person with the power to do anything--to change anything. But no one said you had to do it alone."