Heart of a Demon, Soul of a Knight

— Kate Lord Brown, The Perfume Garden

She turns it off with a sigh and spins on the desk, grinning down at him. “How’s it going on your end, King, darlin’?”

Her eyes scan over the designs for their fall collection, her brows wrinkling thoughtfully as she shuffles through them, before landing on a fleece-lined wool coat that cross-laced neatly up the front. “Oh, that’s good.”

The more King looks at the designs, the more frustrating it gets. He sets the sketchbook down and sighs again. “It will probably pass,” he mutters.

She sets the sketchbook down and grins at him, kicking her heels off and sitting cross-legged on the desk. “Whaddya think, love?”

‘  a thousand empty bottles  &  fist fights will never return to us what we lost that day.  ’ ‘  everyone else has moved on,  but i am still here.  ’ ‘  everything about you screams danger.  ’ ‘  everything is worthless to you  &  you,  in turn,  became worthless.  ’ ‘  for once in my life i want to be surrounded by people that i don’t feel like i need to impress.  ’ ‘  freedom is really hard to get used to.  ’ ‘  how could you do this to me?  how fucking could you?  ’ ‘  i am becoming everything we always dreamed of  &  i am leaving you behind.  ’ ‘  i buried you so well that you might as well have died.  ’ ‘  i can rest easy knowing that the person i love is dead  &  not the monster you became.  ’ ‘  i can’t look at you.  not now,  not ever.  ’ ‘  i don’t ask how you’ve been.  what’s the point?  you’d lie anyways.  ’ ‘  i dream of hearing the words i so desperately needed to lay your memory to rest.  ’ ‘  i haunted this house first.  there is no room for you here.  ’ ‘  i have a right to be upset.  i loved them too, you know.  ’ ‘  i just want it to end.  i want it to all go away.  i want to go away.  ’ ‘  i may be a wolf in sheep’s clothing,  but a snake hiding in the skin of a mouse is far more dangerous.  ’ ‘  i saw your face today  &  didn’t feel anything.  i am free.  ’ ‘  i tried to save you,  but you didn’t want to be saved.  you just wanted someone to suffer with you.  ’ ‘  it’s almost as if you were never here.  ’ ‘  it’s unhealthy to do these things,  you tell me.  you say it’s time to stop smoking,  time to stop gambling,  &  dammit,  i f you don’t stop drinking it’ll kill you.  i sure hope you’re right,  darling.  ’ ‘  i’m always pleasantly surprised by how easy it is to kill you in my mind  ’ ‘  i’m not really scared to die.  i’m more afraid that no one will miss me when i’m gone.  ’ ‘  i’m not the person you left behind anymore.  there’s no one here to miss.  ’ ‘  i’ve been dead far longer than i’ve been alive.  ’ ‘  i’ve eaten nothing but flower petals  &  ivy for weeks because i want to be beautiful inside like you.  ’ ‘  i’ve never been completely satisfied.  i most likely will still be unsatisfied long after my death.  ’ ‘  no motive other than pleasure,  my dear.  ’ ‘  one day i’ll go or you will.  either way,  it will be as if i’m losing a piece of myself.  ’ ‘  our dreams  &  promises decay along with you.  ’ ‘  the leaves change,  but nothing else does.  ’ ‘  the only difference between avoiding  &  leaving is that now i’m not waiting up for you.  ’ ‘  there is no such thing as a person who is required to love you.  ’ ‘  there’s only so much that can be done to repair old damage.  ’ ‘  things aren’t going as i hoped.  maybe if i die,  i can start over again?  better luck next time.  ’ ‘  this is not something to be proud of.  this is a tragedy.  ’ ‘  trying to get rid of me?  oh honey,  you’ll have to try much harder than that.  ’ ‘  trying to get under my skin?  you’re nothing more than a pesky itch.  ’ ‘  unlike you,  i can’t hide my identity when it becomes an inconvenience or a danger.  ’ ‘  weeping is for gods  &  martyrs,  we cannot afford such luxuries.  ’ ‘  would you even miss me?  ’ ‘  you are not important enough to earn an eternal place in my heart.  ’ ‘  you complain nonstop about being unloved  &  alone,  i can’t imagine what you’d be like if that were actually true.  ’ ‘  you don’t know what it’s like.  ’ ‘  you made this so fucking easy for me.  ’ ‘  you should see me as a threat.  i will tear down everything you know until there is nothing left of you.  i am a walking threat.  ’ ‘  you think i’m already gone,  but i’m still fighting.  ’ ‘  you think i’m dead,  but i’m just dying.  ’ ‘  you were never an addiction,  you were a fucking disease.  ’ ‘  you wouldn’t dare cross me.  i am god  &  you are the soil beneath my feet.  ’ ‘  your existence takes up so much more space in mine that we might as well be one entity.  ’ ‘  your fingers are so cold  &  bruised,  but you’re still slamming your fists again the barricade as if it makes a difference.  ’ ‘  your hair is tied in a noose  &  your fingernails are razor blades,  your lips are poison  &  i will gratefully kiss them.  ’ ‘  your hatred has a body count  &  we will not forget.  ’ ‘  your loss,  not mine.  ’ ‘  you’re a sick fuck.  you know that?  ’ ‘  you’re not gentle with me  &  i would never ask you to be.  ’ ‘  you’ve trapped yourself so thoroughly in your own mind that it’s not even a rut anymore,  it’s a pit.   ’

She turns it off with a sigh and spins on the desk, grinning down at him. “How’s it going on your end, King, darlin’?”

Her eyes scan over the designs for their fall collection, her brows wrinkling thoughtfully as she shuffles through them, before landing on a fleece-lined wool coat that cross-laced neatly up the front. “Oh, that's good.”

“Mmm…oh, come /on/…” There’s a thud from the other end of the phone, and a sigh, and a scoff. “Oi, King, I need a ride–gambled mine away and…fucker was /hot/, though…want m’ motorcycle back, actually. M’gonna go fuck up that ‘ttractive sonuva…you want in, you know where to find me.”

He gets in his car and starts up the engine. Before he drives to meet her, he gives her a quick text: I’m on my way. You better have a good explanation for gambling your bike or I’m not doing this again.

And get my fuckin’ bike back.

She should’ve also punched him for bad taste in ink.

“Mmm…oh, come /on/…” There’s a thud from the other end of the phone, and a sigh, and a scoff. “Oi, King, I need a ride–gambled mine away and…fucker was /hot/, though…want m’ motorcycle back, actually. M’gonna go fuck up that ‘ttractive sonuva…you want in, you know where to find me.”

He gets in his car and starts up the engine. Before he drives to meet her, he gives her a quick text: I’m on my way. You better have a good explanation for gambling your bike or I’m not doing this again.

And get my fuckin’ bike back.

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“Nine Hells, do all vampires look like they’re carved from ice? No wonder Zeldris likes you so much, the two of you are exactly alike–pale and stoic and freakin’ ridiculous.”