You can't win me, I can't be beat

(  various  dialogue  prompts  to  send  to  your  worst  enemy  (affectionate).  feel  free  to  change  how  you  seem  fit.  )

❛ oh great, it's you again. ❜

❛ you? kill me? that's funny. ❜

❛ for being someone you hate, i'm sure on your mind a lot. ❜

❛ you're the last person i wanted to see, actually. ❜

❛ do us both a favor. stay away from me. ❜

❛ you really are an asshole, you know that? ❜

❛ i'm the asshole? what does that make you then? ❜

❛ sometimes i think you must hate me. ❜

❛ i thought you said you never wanted to see me again. ❜

❛ if you want me to go, then you have to tell me to leave. ❜

❛ well, someone's cranky today. ❜

❛ well, someone needs to shut the fuck up. ❜

❛ just stay out of my way. ❜

❛ of all the idiots in the world, i'm stuck with you. ❜

❛ what is it you want this time? ❜

❛ sometimes i wonder if you're in love with me. ❜

❛ do you honestly think this is easy for me? ❜

❛ why would i ever want to be friends with you? ❜

❛ can we please just talk? ❜

❛ there is nothing for us to talk about. ❜

❛ you can yell at me later. just let me help you. ❜

❛ touch me, and you're dead. ❜

❛ oh, so now you care? ❜

❛ there is something deeply wrong with you. ❜

❛ i know i'm the last person you probably want to see, but... ❜

❛ you don't think we could be friends, do you? ❜

❛ i'm tired of fighting against you. ❜

❛ don't pretend you give a shit about me. ❜

❛ you're an idiot, but... i trust you. ❜

❛ oh, don't be cute. ❜

❛ wait, did you just say that i'm cute? ❜

❛ we're not good for each other. ❜

❛ if i say yes, will you shut up? ❜

❛ don't you have to be stupid somewhere else? ❜

❛ maybe we should kiss just to break the tension. ❜

❛ i'm sorry i can't turn off my feelings as easily as you. ❜

❛ maybe there's a universe out there where we're friends. ❜

❛ how can you be so smart yet so dumb at the same time? ❜

❛ don't think this changes anything between us. ❜

❛ you look ridiculous in that outfit, by the way. ❜

❛ if you die, i'll kill you. ❜

❛ is that a challenge? ❜

❛ ah, so you're not heartless after all. ❜

❛ i don't think i've ever seen you smile. ❜

❛ you never cared about me, so why now? ❜

❛ why didn't you kill me when you had the chance? ❜

❛ i don't even remember why we started fighting. ❜

❛ i don't have time for distractions right now. ❜

❛ you're not as bad as everyone says you are. ❜

[ lean ] sender rests their head on receiver's shoulder

[ shop ] sender and receiver go to the grocery store together

[ brush ] sender brushes receiver's hair

[ tie ] sender helps receiver with their tie, either by putting it on or adjusting it

[ necklace ] sender helps receiver with the clasp of their necklace from behind

[ zip up ] sender assists receiver with zipping up a piece of clothing

[ unzip ] sender assists receiver with unzipping a piece of clothing

[ shoelaces ] sender bends down to tie receiver's shoelaces

[ swipe ] sender notices a smudge of something on receiver's face and gently wipes it off

[ braid ] sender braids receiver's hair

[ jacket ] sender takes their jacket off and hangs it on receiver's shoulders

[ puddle ] sender hurries to stop receiver from stepping into a puddle

[ drinks ] sender brings receiver a drink from a bar/their kitchen

[ feed ] sender feeds receiver's pet/s for them

[ cook ] sender and receiver cook a meal together

[ feed ] sender allows receiver to try a bite of their dish, holding their fork out for receiver to taste

[ teach ] sender, an expert at something, takes time to teach receiver how it works and how they can get better at it, too

[ readjust ] sender comes up behind receiver and readjusts their stance (maybe holding a gun, holding a golf club, aiming for something, etc.) to help them

[ makeup ] sender fixes receiver's makeup for them

[ bathroom ] sender and receiver go to a public restroom together and have a normal conversation in between the stalls

[ aloud ] sender reads aloud to receiver

[ refill ] sender refills receiver's glass without asking

[ massage ] sender notices receiver looks tense, steps up behind them, and massages their shoulders

[ listen ] sender listens to receiver explain something they're passionate about

[ silence ] sender and receiver comfortably exist in silence together, both of them working or reading or focusing on something different

[ food ] sender brings food over to receiver's house

[ hum ] sender hums along to a song receiver is singing

[ see ] sender sees something that reminds them of receiver and texts them a picture of it

[ admire ] sender stares at receiver across a room, silently admiring and appreciating them from afar

[ win ] sender lets receiver beat them in a game

[ puzzle ] sender helps receiver solve/put together a puzzle

[ carry ] after receiver falls asleep in an inconvenient place, sender carries them to a bed and tucks them in

[ kneel ] sender finds receiver sick in the bathroom ("tossing their cookies"), and kneels beside them, holding their hair back and cleaning their face

[ clean ] sender helps bathe receiver

[ wash ] sender helps receiver wash their hair

"I'm sorry in advance, but I have to do something you won't like."

"Forgive me, but this is the only way."

"I owe you an apology for what I'm about to do."

"I'm sorry, but it's the only option I see."

"Before I go any further, I need to say I'm sorry."

"I apologize now, for what I'm about to put you through."

"This might hurt, and for that, I apologize."

"I never wanted it to come to this, but I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, but there's no other way out of this."

"Forgive me, but this is something I have to do."

"I owe you an apology for what's about to happen."

"I'm sorry if this hurts, but it's unavoidable."

"I apologize in advance for any pain this causes."

"Before we continue, there's something I must say sorry for."

"I regret what I'm about to do, and I'm sorry for it."

"This is going to hurt, and I apologize for that."

"I'm sorry, but I can't let you interfere any longer."

"Forgive me, but I must act, and it won't be pleasant."

"I owe you an apology for the actions I'm about to take."

"Before we go any further, I want to say I'm sorry."

[STRIKE] The sender attacks the receiver immediately after apologizing.

[HEROIC] The sender apologizes before making a sacrifice for the greater good.

[ESCAPE] The sender apologizes before escaping or evading capture in an unexpected way.

[MEASURE] The sender apologizes before implementing a measure to protect the receiver.

[REVEALING] The sender apologizes before revealing a painful truth to the receiver.

[ACTION] The sender apologizes before taking an action that may cause destruction or harm.

[ENDING] The sender apologizes before severing a connection or relationship.

[REVEALING] The sender apologizes before revealing their true identity or intentions.

[BREAKING] The sender apologizes before breaking a promise to the receiver.

[REVELATION] The sender apologizes before sharing a distressing revelation with the receiver.

❝ The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math. ❞

❝ I preen for Satan. ❞

❝ I disembowel. It’s what I do. ❞

❝ He gave them the heebie-jeebies. He had nothing else to give. ❞

❝ I’d sell you to Satan for one corn chip. ❞

❝ I love you despite the warning signs. ❞

❝ I’m a dirty bird. ❞

❝ This was a topsy-turvy world of anguish, shame and self-torment. ❞

❝ I’m three ounces of whoop-ass. ❞

❝ Dealing with you is like herding cats. ❞

❝ My mating dance is mostly seizures. ❞

❝ This jackassery will not stand! ❞

❝ I’ve been through hell and come out singing. ❞

❝ Your love has made me a drunk. ❞

❝ I’m not majestic on weekends. ❞

❝ God can’t help you now. ❞

❝ That’s a crazy idea. Insane. It doesn’t make sense. ❞

❝ I had on my prettiest dress and he never even looked at it. ❞

❝ He had a violent, uncontrolled temper, which sent him literally insane when he was annoyed, but he was good looking. ❞

❝ This might have passed a very pleasant evening had shit not gotten real. ❞

❝ Perhaps you can do something about the evil spirit in my head. ❞

❝ My emotions have three outlets: haughty silence, tears and rage. ❞

❝ I do not go to my happy place, I go to my high lonesome place. ❞

❝ I am often seized by the fatal American need to have a pretty good time. ❞

❝ I’m addicted to shiny things. ❞

❝ The ability to remain sober and gracious is, indeed, a mild form of insanity. ❞

❝ My modus operandi is dial up the awesome and break the knob off. ❞

❝ Looking for trouble and if I cannot find it, I will create it. ❞

❝ The drinks came. I wasn’t about to be sobered by anything like regret. ❞

❝ Foie gras this, motherfucker! ❞

❝ The whispery groans in my mind are beginning to issue orders. ❞

❝ Unicorn of love, impale me! ❞

❝ Oh. You’re an artist. ❞

❝ I hope you’ll excuse my cheap wit, but the hour is late and it’s all I have left. ❞

TO EACH OTHER

❝  i love you.  and i know you don’t feel that way about me and that’s okay i just.  i wanted to get to say it at least once.  ❞

❝  what are you talking about—   of course i love you?  ❞

❝  but i do love you.  i always have.  i just thought you didn’t feel that way so i never said anything.  ❞

❝  look i…i do care about you.  a lot.  and i wish i could love you that way.  i really do but i just,  i’ve never seen you like that.  ❞ 

❝  …you love me?  ❞ 

❝  why didn’t you ever say anything?  ❞

❝  i did!  i loved you.  and i thought you didn’t feel that way so i moved on.  i’m with someone now.  why…why did you wait so long?  ❞

❝  why did you wait so long to tell me how you feel?  ❞

❝  i love you!   okay?  i’ve been so fucking in love with you for longer than i can remember.  ❞

❝  you should have told me how you felt.  ❞

❝  actually i…there was a little while there where i had this horrible crush on you.  if i’d known this was how you were feeling i would’ve gone for it.  ❞

❝  please don’t say it.  i know you don’t love me.  i don’t expect you to,  but just.  don’t make me have to hear you say it.  ❞

❝  i’ve loved you for so long…i don’t remember what it was like to not be in love with you.  ❞

❝  i can’t say no to you.  and it’s just not fair.  ❞

❝  please,  don’t be cruel.  i love you.  like really love you.  so if i’m just some passing curiosity for you…don’t.  don’t say anything at all. ❞

❝  you don’t get it.  i want the whole package with you. i don’t wanna be some fling you forget about in a few months.  ❞

❝  do you know how long i’ve waited for you?  ❞

❝  i don’t need you to love me back.  i just want you to be able to accept that this is how i feel.  ❞

❝  why did you think i wouldn’t love you back?  ❞

❝  will you just slow down a minute!  i’m trying to tell you i love you too.  ❞

❝  i wouldn’t have been messing around with anyone else if i knew about this sooner.  ❞

❝  will you stop crying so i can kiss you already?  ❞

❝  honestly i’d never thought about it…i just need time to think it over.  ❞

❝  i hadn’t ever taken the time to think about it.  but…that doesn’t mean i couldn’t love you.  ❞

❝  i just need to know.  do you love me?  or have i just been making this all in my head?  ❞

❝  i love you.  please don’t say anything yet.  you don’t need to say anything. ❞

❝  no—  they weren’t lying.  i do.  i love you.  but i didn’t want you to find out like that.  i didn’t want you find out at all,  actually.  ❞

❝  look can you just forget about it?  okay?  yeah i’m in love with you.  big deal.  it happens.  ❞

❝  yes i love you.  i’ll get over it.  ❞

❝  are you…are you really over me?  cause,  that’d actually really suck because i’m not over you.  ❞

❝  look,  i know you love me.  but you shouldn’t.  ❞

❝  you are far too good to love someone like me.  you’ll find someone better.  ❞

TO/FROM A THIRD PARTY

❝  if that’s how you feel about them why not just say it?  take a chance.  wouldn’t you rather know one way or the other?  ❞

❝  this whole time i didn’t see them…i didn’t see what was right in front of me and now it might be too late.   ❞

❝  i love them so much it hurts.  ❞

❝  love shouldn’t hurt this much.  this whole thing is just consuming you in a way that isn’t healthy.  ❞

❝  you either need to make a move or let them go.  ❞

❝  this isn’t good for you.  you can’t keep pouring yourself into someone who doesn’t even know you exist.  ❞

❝  you do see how they look at you,  right?  ❞

❝  don’t you realize they’ve been in love with you for years?  ❞

❝  they love you,  dumbass.  ❞

❝  look i’m so fed up with everyone knowing you two love each other except you.  go kiss them or shut the fuck up about it.  ❞

❝  just take a chance.  you might be surprised.  ❞

ACTIONS/SCENARIOS

[ CONFESSION ]  for sender to interrupt receiver’s confession of love by kissing them. 

[ CONFESSED ]  for receiver to interrupt sender’s confession of love by kissing them. 

[ STOP ]  for sender to try and walk away,  afraid they’re going to get their heart broken but receiver grabs their wrist and pulls them back in for a kiss. 

[ STOPPING ]  for receiver to try and walk away,  afraid they’re going to get their heart broken but sender grabs their wrist and pulls them back in for a kiss. 

[ CONFRONTING ]  for receiver to confront sender after a third party told receiver that sender is in love with them. 

[ DRAMATICS ]  for a near death experience to drive receiver to confess their feelings to sender. 

[ SEE ]  for receiver to be hurt and realize sender loves them because of the way they’re taking care of them. 

[ EAVESDROP ]  for receiver to overhear a conversation where sender talks about their feelings for them. 

[ HUSH ]  for sender to ramble about their feelings and how they know it isn’t requited only for receiver to put a hand over their mouth so they’ll be quiet long enough for them to explain they love them too. 

[ AWAKEN ]  for receiver to not think they feel the same way but realize after a simple hookup with sender that they’re in love with them to. 

[ CASUAL ]  for sender to want to sleep with receiver to get it out of their system.  but receiver winds up catching feelings to because of it. 

[ TENSION ]  for muses who have been pining for each other to finally have sex for the first time. 

[ BREAK ]  sender can’t take it anymore and kisses receiver out of nowhere. 

[ FREE ]  receiver can’t take it anymore and kisses sender out of nowhere. 

[ TRY ]  sender has confessed their feelings and receiver tries kissing them to see how they feel.