ENFPxINTP forget to eat and pee

Tells them to shut up: ESTP, ISTP, ESTJ, ISTJ

Backlashes with perfect comeback: ENTP, INTJ

Takes it as a personal attack: ISFP, INFP, ENTJ

Apologizes for some reason: ISFJ, INFJ, ENFJ,

Will probably cry: ESFJ, ESFP, ENFP

Dom Si: it makes sense to do what has always worked Inf Si: *something is slightly abnormal* hahhA aha ahaahaahha kill me

Dom Se: let’s go for a run it will be great! look at the sky! the air in the room feels particularly nice Inf Se: drugs, sex, food, alcohol   —–give it to me——

Dom Ni: look at what the future holds! Inf Ni: the end is near, there is no hope for any of us, we are all doomed to oblivion

Dom Ne: the possibilities for what we could imagine are endless!  Inf Ne: okay but consider this: what if I forget to do my homework what if I fail my classes what if I don’t graduate what if I never find a job what if no one ever loves me what if satan reaches up from the depths of hell and consumes what little is left of my soul what if

Dom Fi: these are my values, they are important to me and I stand by them Inf Fi: you think I am being a little stubborn? well guess what you can shove a cactus up your ass

Dom Fe: don’t worry, I’ve got your back! I am here to support you Inf Fe: ah um erm *ahem* hm ah uh there there it’s uuh okay

Dom Ti: logic is a wonderful thing, I bet there is a lot we could do with it! Inf Ti: oh so you think that I am incorrect about this one thing?? how dare you say that how dare you doubt my knowledge what is wrong with you, no you are the one who makes no sense get out of my sight

ESFJ:

ESFP:

INTP:

INFP:

ISTJ:

ISFJ:

ENTJ:

ESTP:

ISFP:

ENFJ:

ENTP:

ISTP:

INFJ:

ENFP:

INTJ:

ESTJ:

ENFP: So what do you guys want to do after high school?

ISFP: I want to be a pharmacist.

ENFP: Drug dealing. Nice! What about you INFP?

INFP: Probably Art Therapy. I just found out about it last week and it seems awesome!

ENFP: Dude that does sound awesome!

INFP: What do you want to do ENFP?

ENFP: Physical Therapy.

INFP: You would be really good at that!

INTP: Is no one gonna ask me!?

all look at INTP

ENFP: Of course INTP. What do you want to do.

CONGRATULATIONS! You have somehow gotten a hold of my phone number and ordered a new INTP unit! For new users, this manual will provide all of the basic information that you will need to take care of your new INTP unit.

Your INTP unit will come with the following accessories: Three (3) Everyday outfits Two (2) Nightclothes Two (2) pairs of shoes One (1) personalized laptop specifically built for your INTP One (1) laptop charger One (1) ethernet cable One (1) mobile device One (1) personalized headphones specifically built for your INTP One (1) USB to INTP connector Software: Your INTP is programmed with the following traits: Ti: Your INTP will want to analyze everything and understand everything. Ne: Your INTP likes to think up new possibilities and sees a lot of potential in their peers and surroundings. Si: Retrospective thinking is programmed to help your INTP solve new problems by using previous knowledge. Fe: Although the lowest of the traits, your INTP still has emotions and can be largely affected by the emotions of the people in their surroundings. Will generally get along with peers but can unwittingly make offensive comments. Will feel bad about it later.

Getting Started: To turn on your new INTP unit: 1. Connect your INTP to the computer using the USB to INTP connector. 2. Allow INTP to charge and gather data for approximately thirty (30) minutes. 3. Disconnected your INTP from the computer. 4. Turn on unit by asking nicely 5. If step NUMBER 4 didn’t work, threaten to take away the Wi-Fi.

Your INTP unit should boot up quickly after these steps!

Modes: Nerd (default) -  your stereotypical nerd. Will only speak in scientific theories or binary code, depending on their mood. May be a bit socially awkward if the unit had only recently been started. Enthusiastic nerd - hyper-nerdiness, will talk quickly and have stars in their eyes Chameleon - will sometimes change how they act to their surroundings Pedantic (default) - will correct grammatical errors and mistakes. Usually won’t stop even if you tell them to. Meme / Pun (default) - don’t question it, just accept it Unhealthy / Shadow (locked) - will only unlock if subjected to immense stress. Like described in Le Chatlier’s principle, your unit will try to act in opposition of the stress. Tends to be angsty and like an unhealthy ENTJ unit.

Relationships with other units: NTs: Your INTP’s main squad. Is a bit intimidated by the XNTJ units, but gets along well nonetheless. SJs: Generally gets along well. They help your INTP unit do what’s needed and take care of themselves, for which your. NFs: Gets along with very well. May discuss philosophical ideas together. Relatively new INTP units may get frustrated or confused by the emotional perspective given by the NFs units. SPs: Gets along overall. Can sometimes be afraid of XSTP units’ kickass personality and sometimes may not quite understand the Se nature well.

Feeding: Your INTP unit will usually eat normally but will sometimes ignore their diet to pursue intellectual hobbies. Keep trying to argue that food is necessary despite their arguments that they feed on knowledge.

Hygiene: Despite stereotypes, your INTP unit will maintain their personal hygiene, although you may need to remind them if they have been in the Enthusiastic Nerd state for a while and forgot to bathe themselves.

Sleeping: Your INTP unit has a bad habit of staying up too late to browse the internet. Constantly remind them that sleep will help their memory consolidate and retain information. They might still try to stay up, at which point just take away the Wi-Fi.

Frequently Asked Questions: Why does my INTP unit keep procrastinating on everything? All INTP units have caught a bug when downloading their software that destroys their ability to take a task to completion without external pressure. Unfortunately, the units cannot be fixed, but Te-dom or Te-aux units may help organize your INTP unit’s life.

Does my INTP unit feel emotions? If so, when will they be more expressive? Yes. Although Fe is low on their function stack, it’s still there. They are usually only expressive if they are surrounded by those close to them. So better your relationship with your INTP unit, and then you will see them be more emotional.

Help! My INTP unit is fixed in Unhealthy / Shadow mode, and I don’t know what to do! Because the ENTJ units’ main functions are the INTP unit’s shadow function, I suggest getting an ENTJ unit to talk to the INTP to help them get out of their melancholy mood. If there are no available ENTJ units, then logically reason how their point of view is false and not helpful to their current situation. Also, try to remove the source of stress, as the Unhealthy / Shadow mode is caused by the presence of stress.

This manual is part of a series of guides originated by @intpboard

Congratulations! You have found yourself in possession of your own unique ENFP unit. There is a high likelihood that your ENFP found you, but regardless of how you got to this point, you are now responsible for your very own ENFP to love and enjoy! Since ENFPs are notoriously difficult to handle, your SJ overlords have issued this guide to hopefully help along the way.

Your ENFP will come with the following accessories:

One (1) Starter pack of moral convictions

One (1) Unique starter outfit chosen specifically for your unit

One (1) Normal socially acceptable outfit (use only if necessary)

One (1) Set of puppy-dog eyes for use when your unit senses an emotional disturbance in another unit that is resistant to sharing

Three (3) Companion Introvert Units for emotional tending and deep conversation

Infinite (∞) Ideas and Possibilities

One (1) Internet accessible device for research binging

One (1) self replenishing coffee cup

One (1) Starter pack of idiosyncratic behaviors

Software

Your ENFP comes pre-programmed with the following traits;

Ne: Your ENFP is a functional walking idea generator. While this trait does make your ENFP susceptible to distraction and excitement, this programming accounts for the exceptionally high levels of optimism included with your unit. Your ENFP will have constantly changing hobbies, interests and ideas. This function can only be disabled through sensory hyper stimulation (see Si).

Fi: While seemingly constantly happy and excited, your ENFP has many deeply held values and feelings. This function can be activated my asking your ENFP unit how they are feeling and silently listening to what follows.

Te: Your ENFP will not only seek new ideas, but will also seek to be deeply informed about those ideas. When this function is activated via the Fi function, an bitch slap mode may be activated

Si: Your ENFP is prone to random bouts of sentimentality and a preference for familiar sensory experiences. When directly activated this function can overwhelm Ne resulting in uncharacteristic stubbornness.

Getting Started

Your ENFP unit should arrive pre-activated and highly animated. In case your ENFP has not been activated please complete the following;

Place ENFP in social setting

Place 1-3 included introverts within visible distance

Wait 30 seconds

If after 30 seconds your ENFP unit has not activated causing an introvert to cry will immediately activate ENFP’s caring mode.

Modes

Manic Pixie (default) - Attention span disabled and energy levels maximum. In this mode your ENFP will be rapidly seeking out new ideas, opportunities, concepts and possibilities while simultaneously trying to understand and participate. This mode does have a limited use, but no way to know when it is nearly depleted.

Existential Teddybear (default) - Speaking function reduced to existential lines of questioning. When Manic Pixie mode has depleted, this mode automatically activates. Primary mode in small groups of introverts.

Caring - Activated by the presence of another unit with feelings that need to be processed. Difficult to deactivate unless activating unit has been emotionally supported and/or helped. Often involves invasive and insightful and accurate statements articulating what other units are feeling.

Bitch Slap - Activated by both obvious social injustices and direct violation of a personal value. Detailed, irrefutable, empirical evidence articulated to show that another unit has acted objectively immoral. When this mode is active your ENFP will painfully spell out exactly why you are wrong.

Emo - Activated seemingly randomly by a large influx of emotion that your ENFP unit must withdraw and analyze in order to understand and integrate. occurs approximately one (1) out of every fifteen (15) days. Completion of this mode is often signaled by your ENFP unit announcing it has learned something new about itself.

Productive (locked) - Only unlocks under intensely high interest levels or stress. Produces a staggering amount of material in a short amount of time.

Relationship With Other Units

In general, your ENFP unit will be liked by most other units it comes into contact with.

NF: Often activates Existential Teddybear mode. Can come into conflict if values conflict.

NT: Activates both Existential Teddybear and Bitch Slap mode. Also activates caring mode, but covertly.

SJ: Generally well accepted in Manic Pixie mode and viewed with amusement. SJ units will naturally remind your ENFP unit to tend to their physical well being, which they often forget.

SP: Compatible primarily in Manic Pixie mode. Warning: Leaving your ENFP unit alone with one or more SP units will likely result in trying really bad ideas.

Feeding

Your ENFP unit will need to be fed regularly. Your ENFP unit is capable of constant snacking as well as completely forgetting to eat. Your ENFP unit will not die if left to fend for it’s own food, but the consistency and healthiness of that diet would likely not be good. Your ENFP simply needs to be reminded to eat on a regular basis and provided with a few healthy options to choose from.

Grooming

Your ENFP will also need to be reminded to groom on a regular basis. Your ENFP will automatically groom if trying to present a good impression, but regular maintenance requires outside diligence. 

Sleeping

Your ENFP will try to argue that sleep is unnecessary. Do not give in no matter how convincing the argument is. Just repeat that sleep is good until ENFP begins to slow down and tiredness sets in. If ENFP continues to resist, take away all entertainment sources.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why doesn’t my ENFP ever finish anything?

Your ENFP unit comes equipped with dominant Ne. As with all things, this requires a trade off. In the case of your ENFP unit, Ne allows it to produce many ideas and start many projects, but does not extend to completion. Upgraded ENFP units with integrated Si are more capable of completion, but even then your unit will always start more than they finish. 

Help! I turned around for a second and now I’ve lost my ENFP!

Your ENFP is most likely not lost, simply distracted. It is common for ENFP units to be easily distracted and immediately pursue that distraction. Just keep doing whatever you were doing and your ENFP unit will find it’s way back to you eventually and will have an exciting story to tell you when it does. If your ENFP goes missing for an extended period of time it is possible that you have accidentally activated ENFP’s fear of commitment. In this case, provide your ENFP with a heartfelt communication via phone or email. Your ENFP will at that point most likely return to at least discuss what caused them to leave.

How do I turn this thing off?

You don’t. There is no off switch on your ENFP unit. If you find your ENFP overwhelming, simply tell them you need some time to yourself and your ENFP unit will happily find someone else to annoy in the mean time.

Can I keep my ENFP?

Yes. ENFP units frequently form companion bonds for life, but any attempts to limit your ENFP unit’s freedom to explore and pursue what interest them will result in resistance and likely resentment from your ENFP. ENFP units must be shared freely otherwise they are likely to rebel against their captors owners.

Again, Congratulations on your new ENFP unit! Go have fun and explore!

isfp: cute in an intensely trendy way. like imagine if tumblr came to life. adorable haircut and taste in clothes. trinkets and jackets with lettering and all sorts of quirky artsy baubles. cute when they’re making things, and when they’re proud of the things they’ve made.

esfp: not really cute. sexy. sexy and they always know it and they know it, and because they know it, it makes them even sexier. in some nice sunglasses- hot damn.

istj: cute when things go just their way. when they get their room organized just so, or they find their favorite kind of chocolate that’s only available at like 3 stores, or they just finished a big paper that they thought they weren’t going to get done on time. they find a lot of joy in small victories, and it’s an adorable joy.

estj: cute when they’re arguing about something that to other people might seem miniscule, like the way they organize the plants on the windowsill, or the correct order of a morning routine. or maybe they picked up on a tiny plot inconsistency in a movie that no one else noticed, and they just can’t get over t and keep returning and returning to the subject all through the movie. estjs will defend their beliefs fiercely, and when they’re defending the trivial with the same fierceness, it can be super funny and cute. 

esfj: cute when they’re helping people. they’ve got big giant hearts, and watching an esfj connect with another person, oftentimes a person they barely know, to lend themselves for emotional support is a beautiful thing.

isfj: just really cute in general. could possibly be the cutest type. adorable when concentrating, when biting their lips, when nervous or surprised. they have so much love to give and are like wiggly soft  human puppies. just so, sooooo cute.

estp: estps are cute when they’re mad, tbh. especially if they’re mad and pouty over some small, competitive slight. like- have you ever beaten an estp in monopoly? they get super pissed when they lose games, and while their sulking can be annoying as they try to pretend it doesn’t bother them, it can also be very endearing

istp: cute when they buy something new and they’re just SO JAZZED ABOUT IT. like they got this new bike or smartwatch or, idk, novelty pencil, and it is just the most amazing thing ever to them in that moment and they want to tell everyone who will listen alllllll about it and the ins and outs of how it works. hella cute.

enfj: cute when they’re scheming. Enfjs feel like they were born to change the world, and they get so involved in cooking up massive plans for how they’re going to do it. an enfj can see a piece of litter on the sidewalk, and within fifteen minutes be making plans to contact the mayor about a new cleaning initiative, trying to decide what the best way to make fliers about it would be, wondering how much money it would be for a radio ad. enfjs are cute when they’re excited, when they’re dreaming their big giant idealistic dreams.

infj: cute in an uplaceable way. maybe you wouldn’t even notice them in a crowd at first, maybe they would blend in at a party. but if, at that party, you sat down and talked to them you would notice that there is just something about the intense empathy in their eyes that is warm and inviting, that you want to get lost in.

intj: intjs are mega cute when something pierces their emotionless veneer. Like they’ll be skulking about, all badass and kind of pissed off looking, and then someone will walk by with a tiny white soft bulldog puppy on a leash and they will turn into a baby talking, starry eyed, marshmallow person.

entj: like intjs, cutest when they’re letting they’re guard down. adorable in the rare moments they become flustered or surprised, when they get stressed out over something minor for a moment, swear and kick something, then immediately become bashful after demonstrating feeling.

infp: when they’re emotionally impacted immensely by a small thing. they cry every times the dog dies in a children’s movie, an it’s adorable. if they see a little pigeon with a hurt wing struggling on the ground, they might tell you about it hours later that day, with misty eyes. they are poetically sensitive to almost a ludicrous degree, easily impacted by things the more callous of us have become numb to- and it’s both cute and inspiring.

enfp: all around super cute. neck and neck with isfj in the Cutest Type race. enfps are cute when they just wake up. they sleep so much, and they’re always so rumpled and grumpy and disoriented when they finally regain consciousness, that it’s very hard to resist the urge to hug them.

entp: entps are cute when they’re being silly, which is good news because they’re very often being silly. they’re cute when they’re making themselves and others laugh, climbing trees and throwing things at the people below or drawing dumb caricatures of their friends. reading plato aloud in a strange voice, idk, they’re weirdos.

ENFP: “If my life wasn’t funny it would just be true, and that is unacceptable.”

INFP: “I feel I’m very sane about how crazy I am.”

ENFJ: “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. ”

INFJ: “No motive is pure. No one is good or bad-but a hearty mix of both. And sometimes life actually gives to you by taking away.”

ESFJ: “And when you’re young you want to fit in. Hell, I still want to fit in with certain humans, but as you get older you get a little more discriminating.”

ESFP: “Don’t slide through life. Savor it. Slow down. Be kind. Pay attention. Because this isn’t going to happen again.”

ISFP: “Life is a cruel joke, and I am the punchline”

ISFJ: “In my opinion, a problem derails your life and an inconvenience is not being able to get a nice seat on the un-derailed train.”

ISTP: “You know the bad thing about being a survivor… You keep having to get into difficult situations in order to show off your gift.”

ESTP: “I think I do overshare. It’s my way of trying to understand myself. … It creates community when you talk about private things.”

ESTJ: “Sometimes you can only find Heaven by slowly backing away from Hell.”

ISTJ: “There’s no room for demons when you’re self-possessed”

ENTJ: “There is no point at which you can say, ‘Well, I’m successful now. I might as well take a nap.”

INTJ: “I don’t want my life to imitate art, I want my life to be art”

INTP: “When I love, I love for miles and miles. A love so big it should either be outlawed or it should have a capital and its own currency.”

ENTP: “Youth and beauty are not compliments.”

“SHE DROWNED IN MOONLIGHT, STRANGLED BY HER OWN BRA.”

Some people will end up seeing an INTP as extroverted and easily excitable simply because they happened to push the right buttons. An INTP is rather introverted and excessively quiet, but there is one way to get them to act like an Extrovert: Talk about something interesting. This can be a fatal move for most as the INTP doesn’t know the meaning of “shut up” when they are given the open door to talk about their main interest.