An ENFJ's Jungle of Giving

When conflict arises, an ENFJ’s initial reaction will probably be some attempt to sweep the issue under the rug. This will take the form of levity, inconsequence, or self-blame/apology — even if the ENFJ is not at fault. In deeper conflicts, however, an ENFJ will find it difficult to remain objective and decisive because of how strongly and passionately they can identify with others. Conflict is exhausting for any type but particularly an ENFJ, not only because of the disharmony but because of the empathy an ENFJ experiences for all parties. Consider it an overused strength.

Though this may sound counter intuitive, ENFJs can often be mistaken for introverts. While this observation can come from an ENFJ's Walls, it can also come from fear of getting hurt. As an ENFJ, extroverted feeling (Fe) is the dominant cognitive function. Fe allows ENFJ's to feel incredible extremes of emotions, especially when emotions involve others. This can drive an ENFJ into solitude because only in solitude can the ENFJ protect them self. This can feed a viscous cycle because to an ENFJ, alone time can bring dangerous thoughts and self-blame.

Something unique to an ENFJ is how their walls are a part of their personality — and the first few walls are mirrors, which reflect exactly what others want to see. Anyone who enters an ENFJ’s life must learn to appreciate how an ENFJ protects themself with the resiliency that each layer promotes. ENFJs fear vulnerability, and their walls allow them to promote harmony among, while staying positive, no matter what.

ENFJs are masters of goal setting and will put great or unstoppable energy to achieve them. ENFJ goals often involve the long term greater good. Goals are energized by their loved ones and their drive to bring happiness to the World. ENFJs feel obligated to achieve these goals as they fear that they will disappoint loved ones, the World, and themselves.

A constant struggle for an ENFJ is the perception of perfection and the ever present perpetual yearning to perform perfectly. This impression encourages an ENFJ to work harder, over deliver, and never falter. This unhealthy expectation is fueled by an ENFJ's charm and an ENFJ's fear to let other's see their vulnerabilities…Though, once an ENFJ embraces a single close friend, their incredible imperfections are safely expressed, which allows for more productive personal development and a bigger and better greater good. 

Whether listening to music or watching a TV show or a movie, most media proves to be a field day for ENFJ's extroverted feeling. Media is powerful for ENFJs and can completely change an ENFJ's emotions. ENFJs should be cognizant of this, especially when feeling blue or even when they have an urge to listen to a particular song or watch a certain movie. These urges may be signs of deeper and more serious emotions such as love or depression.

ENFJs have a unique ability to identify areas that need self-improvement. However, they may completely neglect themselves as an ENFJ's primary focus is to help others achieve their goals. To correct this, an ENFJ should frame New Years resolutions with "bettering myself to better assist others!" Additionally, New Years resolutions should be shared with their closest friend so that the ENFJ is held accountable and will not disappoint.

A curious conundrum of the ENFJ is the fight to find the best method to do something. In this battle, an ENFJ will look to tailor a process considering all people involved. While ENFJs are not afraid to try new methods, once a method is deemed optimal by the people affected, ENFJs will cease their search, satisfied with their findings, and consider continued efforts useless. This can be explained by the interaction and qualification of the Judging and iNtuition preferences.

Person: meh..kind of in a bad mood.

Details, typically, make an ENFJ grossly uncomfortable. Yet, it is curious how people detail oriented we are. An ENFJ's display of (Se) is a powerful asset to their (Fe), personability and persuasion. (Se) takes the form of genuine compliments about fantastic details of an outfit or concerns that others show in tone or body language. In short, if observing a small detail will assist someone in any way or open an opportunity to assist someone, an ENFJ will notice it. 

Many people consider an ENFJ a very close friend, but the ENFJ may only consider them an acquaintance. When an ENFJ spends 1:1 time with someone, the ENFJ will shower attention on them and truly understand them, their triumphs, and their problems. This deep understanding is often confused for true friendship, but it is just (Fe) and (Ni). ENFJs love people even though we keep the vast majority at an arm’s length. The trouble comes when the person realizes this and then the ENFJ feels bad and wants the relationship to get better again.

Though dedicated to follow through and perform well, ENFJs are not immune to procrastination. Times of high stress seem to extend an ENFJ's benevolence by making everyone's problems their own. ENFJs get incredible satisfaction through assisting others, and so their procrastination methods seems productive. Nevertheless, an ENFJ's benevolent procrastination could simply be a result of a closely held value of Karma. Gosh, I hope I get what comes around soon! :|

It is no surprise that an ENFJ works better to deadlines. In group work, the ENFJ will carefully keep harmony among members, during the first 3/4 of the project and encourage a positive environment. However, when an ENFJ can hear the clock tick closer to the deadline, an ENFJ will rally the team and work diligently to ensure a successful outcome. Though the last few moments may be stressful for all, the trust developed during the onset of the project will shine through and keep hopes high!

With a season of giving upon us, a common question is, "what gift do you want?" For me, this makes me uncomfortable. If you are close with an ENFJ, the best gift is something you treasure or something quirky that only you love. This is a symbol of the relationship, and it will remind an ENFJ of you and the love between you, each time they use the gift. ENFJs are very sentimental.