The Enemy of Cool

Nagsimula sa Pangako Nagtapos sa Sumpa

I apologize for my hand Writing you to life Like some stick figure On the ledge of a pad That, suddenly, Breaks into a dance And moonwalks away

You never stay You come but you leave These pages Always with a spell Or stuntwork Disguised as one of those Intricate Pop-art

How strange a heart To have With you in it And nowhere else Outside these verses Composed over and over Against better judgment Sense of logic And even gravity

I’m sorry Indeed I am For my irrepressible hand Writing you, Letter by letter, Through time And temperaments Anew

Frankly speaking, It’s your fault I think you’re a ninja And you’ve poisoned me With your ninja stars

1.  Maging masaya.  Tulad ni SpongeBob.

2.  Mag-post sa Tumblr kada araw.  Yung (mejo) may saysay.

3.  Hindi na magmura. Pag galit, sasabihin ko na lang, “I-push mo yan!” o kaya ay “Anak ka ni Chucky!”.    

4.  Gumising ng maaga…Este umaga. Mas makatotohanan.

5.  Maging mas maalaga sa mga alagang isda.  Ilan na lang ba sila?

6.  Mag-ipon. Kelangan na mag-seryoso sa buhay. Bumili ng skateboard, ganyan.                                        7.  Makipagkilala sa 16 tao at ilibre sila ng ice cream.  Gawin bago mag-16th    birthday. (Pang-ilang 16th birthday ko na kaya?) Bwahahaha. Bampira lang.

8.  Sa 2014, gumawa ng labing apat na random acts of kindness.                           9. Sumali sa anumang contest.  Subukang wag magwala pag natalo.  Pag nanalo, bumili ng Happy Meal.                           

I won’t write about you I’ll write about something else Something of great significance To humanity Or, at least, Less detrimental to it  

You won’t pollute My mind anymore My thoughts will be As beautiful as the rainbow Or, at least, More open to colors Other than black  

I’m going back I’ll forget you And your stupid smile I’ll un-commit you to memory So the next time I see you I won’t know who you are Or, at least, I won’t admit it  

Nagdala ng palakang bukid mula Pangasinan ang mga kasambahay namin para ma-tinola. Kinabukasan, humingi ng isa si Ysabel. Kailangan daw nila sa Biology Class para i-dissect.

Katulong: Wala na, inulam na nga.

Sa hindi sinasadyang pagkakataon, napahaba ko ang aking buhok. Hindi naman tipong Samurai X sa haba. Parang F4 lang, ganon. Andame ko kasing ginagawa (Candy Crush level 47) kaya nakaligtaan ko nang magpagupit ng buhok. Di ko namalayan, nagmi-Meteor Garden na pala ako. Humarap ako sa salamin isang araw at parang gusto kong puntahan si Dao Ming Si at si Hua Ze Lei, bibigyan namin ng red card si Shan Cai at kakanta kami ng “Di ko alam hanggang kailan tayo. Di ko mabago ang ikot ng mundo…”

Paninindigan ko na nga rin sana, tutal ay malakas maka-rock star ang long hair. Kaso nahirapan na rin ako sa kakahawi ng bangs. At pag sobrang init, kumukulot siya. Yung bangs. Parang Superman, pero kenkoy. Parang Jojo Alejar. (Na kamag-anak ko talaga sa totoong buhay kaya hindi ako nagtataka).

Nagpagupit na tuloy ako. Yung nang-gupit sa akin nagmamadali. Ewan, may sinaing yata siya na nasusunog na. Kaya parang tinaga nya lang ang buhok ko. As in, wapak! Tapos maikli na agad. Yung long hair ko, nasa sahig na…Di man lang ako nakapag-paalam.

I’ve developed this unreasonable obsession with the teenage girl group, Fifth Harmony (5H). “Unreasonable Obsession”, by the way, is just the kind of superfluous jargon picked up by these people who play 5H videos on a loop.  When I say these people, I mean ME.

So yeah.  Fifth Harmony.  Me singing their single “Miss Moving On” is pretty disconcerting (Me singing is troubling enough).  People will think I’m having a nervous breakdown.  Or worse, that I’m suffering from a mid-life crisis – which, to me, is not an irrepressible impulse to be young again but an actual malady caused by the realization that a marker in time has been crossed.  Having a mid-life crisis now means that I’m already halfway-through my personhood.  Woooooah! Strike that. I need to outlive Noel Gallagher and Eddie Vedder. 

So Fifth Harmony is on play and replay.  That’s not so bad.  The bow, the wobble, the diva on it (yeah!).  Ok, thinking about all the pop-stuff may be a tad painful.  As a long-time indie rock fan, there’s some physical resistance there.  But the thing is, these girls are brilliant.  Their acoustic covers are all exceptionally rich, mature and pretty bad-ass that once I watch them…I. JUST. CAN’T. STOP.

I do worry about this unreasonable obsession and how it may affect my adulthood (unstable as it is already).  But, at this point, I really don’t want to fight it anymore.

Might you spare me a minute?

I have nothing special prepared

Or anything of value to say

I just thought it'd be nice

To have you sit by my side

Your hand proximate to mine

And maybe find

You smile at me a little

Wait with me a while

Share a space a moment

And in that torrent

Of planets aligning for us,

If only for a capsule of time,

The air you are breathing

And the air I am breathing

It has come to my attention

That, in a strictly lucid interval,

I have undertaken to shun you out

Of memory

Like a phased-out device

Or a binary code deleted

For a seamless unobstructed mind

  It’s fine.

It’s great really.

You are, as you know,

A contaminated program

In my mental faculties

And management shall be

More than pleased

To finish a hard-drive clean-up

Going forward

  In this regard,

Please take notice, that the anti-virus

Designed for your removal

Is scheduled to run on the morrow

And all entries

From word to jpeg, from mp3 to avi

Pertaining, related, relevant or even

Visually or auditory similar to you

Shall NOT be saved

  When I reboot

I shall have freed enough space

To load up on new programs and applications

With ease and without interruption

And unnecessary use of firewall

  You shall be erased

Or uninstalled

I shall have no memory of you

And my emotional and psychological

Well-being shall finally get upgraded

So mark this Noted.

And shred all supporting documents

   Except this page

which shall be kept in a hidden file…

After a while

I shall have moments of confusion,

and maybe even melancholy

Much like this time

It’s all fine.

Just hold on to this,

And whatever you do

Don’t

Makapag-sulat kaya ako ngayon?

Makapag-buhat kaya ng wika Ang pluma ko’t papel, Paakyat sa mantel Na pinag-angatan ko sa iyo?

Kay puro mo Kay kinang Kay konti ng iyong pakialam

Ano pa bang Salitang Maihahagis ko riyan Na hindi ko pa Naihagis?

Mapalingon ka naman Mapausog ng bahagya Mapatingin Magulat Matabig ng kaonti At sa huli Ay mabasag