I can't wait to show you how much I know you can be.

sorry for not answering messages for three thousand years i have. Stew. in place of a brain. you know how it is

I should probably have a good scream. I feel like I’m a little overdue a blood curdling throat ripping yell

do you ever feel yourself fail a charisma check in real time

the sexiest thing a woman can be is a cringe fujoshi with a very serious day job

i can’t believe i used to think people my age were adults

just found out that accidentally in love by counting crows was literally made for shrek. they didnt just choose it. it didnt exist before. they asked counting crows to make a song for shrek 2 and thats how we got one of the best songs ever made. insane.

counting crows knew shrek 2 would become one of the best movies ever made and had to act accordingly

Transcript: Yesterday my cousin said that my rooster wasn't a real rooster. He said he's a Walmart rooster. *chicken noises* Does this not look like a real rooster to you? *chicken makes a sound again* Sure, he's small, but he has feelings.

important context this person looks and sounds like they’re gonna cry

Also important to note that the rooster appears to be roughly the size of a large pigeon.

The pigeon people have informed me he is the size of a normal pigeon, or perhaps even a small pigeon. Fucking rip.

and it will be better 🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿

crazy how if you do your chores and obligations first thing on a day off you can enjoy your free time more than if you feel like you’re procrastinating your chores and obligations the whole time. i will not be learning from this experience

i really don’t have the time to be the way i am