Ençaisch

English speakers view calling an object "he" or "she" as personification. In another language, it might be normal to say "Open her!" instead of "Open the door!" In English, you'd sound like a crazy person who thinks the door is your girlfriend or something.

I translate literally, and that’s just what I do. Let me eat my crunchy-misters and watch my remote-see-machines, and I'll let you do you what you do.

Happy Leap Day, Schalttag (Switch Day), and jour bissextile (Bissextile Day)!

In French, people say "Comment ça va?" or “How it goes?” A question word is enough to make a question, well, a question. In English, people say “How is it going?” instead of “How it is going?” English speakers still switch the subject and verb when using question words (which is honestly unnecessary).

Most languages have strange idioms, but I’ve never looked at my native language’s idioms in depth. Freeing horses, biting dust, falling off perches, buying farms, croaking, and cashing in chips are all idioms for dying. I’ve always been oblivious to the literal meanings of these terms. How does dying relate to making frog sounds?

“Pommes de terre frites” are what french fries are called in French. Potatoes are called “apples of Earth” for some reason. Germans call french fries “pommes frites”, which translates to apple fries. It’s not completely an epic fail; usually, they just say frites.

English expressions can be heard at German Discos. „Der DJ ist im Haus!“ „Ich mag diese Beats!“ „Höre ich ein „Was, was!“?“ I believe Germans even use the French word “fête”.

Valentine's Day is short for Saint Valentine's Day. Joyeuse Saint Valentin! Für die Deutschen, Fröhlichen Valentinstag!

There are drawings of French people holding pizza with their hands in my French textbook. Swing and a miss.

English numbers are probably the easiest to learn. Most French people count like English people until the seventies. The seventies literally translate to “sixty-nine, sixty-ten, sixty-eleven… (69, 70, 71…)” The eighties are worse. They translate to “sixty-nineteen, four-twenties, four-twenties-one… (79, 80, 81…)” German numbers are simpler than French, but more complicated than English. German numbers are said backward. For example, ninety two would be spoken “two and ninety,” in German. English numbers are read left to right, and without irrelevant multiplications.