t'pol and trip are t4t

my new poker strat: start tearing up after looking at my cards no matter what i got

okay, im "sorry" i tested my dual scythe combos/fever mode on your "smol bean" boyfriend

Setting my dad up on the couch with Seinfeld and a dead playstation controller so he thinks he's controlling george

Hero, in recognition for your courage and temerity in the face of my absolute evil, I grant thee a ring of maidenification.

this shits gonna flip into a clean 500 gold pieces for sure

Of course it will, should it leave your finger~

my friend you are off your rocker if you think this thing is even getting close to one of my ring slots I know better than to make that mistake after putting on one of your amulets and being turned into a newt for a week

you were really cute as a newt. . .

i really fuck with it when my oomfs start their posts in media res. they'll open it with a phrase like "it's just funny because..." and then i look at their blog to see what's funny and. nothing.

It's like how Beowulf opens with a call to attention.

posting is exactly like beowulf

earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

i can tell nobody actually cares about pluto cause nobody ever draws yuri of her and her partner charon dancing. you all make me sick with your nostalgic anti-intellectualism

dude. bensons going to mercilessly punish our holes and throats for this

must be one of those bugged no notes posts

i dont think this one is one of those bugged no notes posts ms scoundrel im sorry

the final step in this recipe didn’t say “enjoy!” so i threw my food in the trash

imagine reverse bimbofication art in the style of the bimbofication brainwashing posts. YOU ARE SO FUCKING SMART, USE YOUR GENIUS MIND, YOU ARE EVERYTHING. YOU CAN MASTER ANY FUCKING SUBJECT IN THE WORLD *flashing hypno spirals interupted by photos of prominent women scientists and graphs from quantum mechanics papers*

fuckkkk im so autonomous and intelligentttt im literally thinkmeat