Are you a student who has bunch of essays and needs some help getting started?
Do you have essays that need edited ?????
Fanfic writer in need of a beta???
Or just generally need academic writing help
WELL THEN AM I THE GAL FOR You!
Now that I have your attention hi I’m Emu and I’m about to be moving and dealing with some car expenses. In order to make some extra money I’m offering my services in academic writing.
My credentials?
I have a Bachelors of Arts majoring in History and Classics minoring in Myth, Latin, and Ancient Practices. I graduated Magna cum laude and had to do my own research study on Greek weaving to finish out my ancient practices minor. I wrote a 50+ page research paper for it (AND IT GOT COMPLEMENTED BY MULTIPLE PROFESSORS) and would rather poke my finger in an electrical socket than use AI.
For just 2.50 a page I will edit, give feedback, help with prompts, research, and writing. I WILL NOT WRITE FOR YOU
Anything helps, I’m willing to negotiate price based on how much work I’m doing. If you’re interested feel free to dm me!
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Mulan AU where she does get caught by the other fresh recruits while she's bathing but Mushu helps her spin it like the lake is cursed by an evil lizard demon and will turn men into women if they stay in it for too long.
From there it's not actually difficult to get the other soldiers onboard with covering up the fact that poor Ping took one for the team and got afflicted by the vagina curse, especially since it would have been all of them if they hadn't gotten the warning ahead of time. So they agree to help him cover it up, because obviously the army's not going to understand.
Shang is... tentatively glad that the men are bonding and getting along, even if they continue to be deeply weird about it.
Mulan: Uh, what boobs? Huh? Where did these come from?
Mushu: *facepalms and thinks quickly* (speaks from the shadows) I AM THE SPIRIT OF THE LAKE! BEWARE MY CURSED WATERS FOR THEY WILL TURN MEN INTO WOMEN!
Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: Oh no! The spirit of the cursed waters!
Shang: ...is this why you've all been insisting we don't camp anywhere that doesn't have a lake.
Shang: and then none of you actually swim in it.
Shang: and you all keep jumping at shadows.
Shang: wait a second Ping did this happen before or after you became insanely good at fighting?
Shang: did you get better at fighting after you became a woman.
Shang: are women better at fighting than us.
Mulan: ....uh. well. maybe? no one's ever tried to find out.
Yao: [thinking very fast] y'know Captain it's just so hard to find recruits these days.
Chien Po: Real shortage of men.
Ling: Lots of women, though.
Mulan: [catching on] Without marriage prospects.
Shang: You're right, men. The spirits must have done this in order to show us that we should be recruiting women as fighters.
Mushu [from the shadows, seeing an opportunity to do the funniest thing]: EXACTLY, LI SHANG. I HAVE TRANSFORMED PING INTO A WOMAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TOO LONG OVERLOOKED THE TRUE WAY TO WIN THE WAR.
Mulan [seeing an opportunity to get all the stories straight]: O Great Spirit, is it reversible?
Mushu: WHY WOULD YOU WISH TO REJECT MY GIFT? I HAVE SEEN YOUR HEART, CHILD, AND HAVE ALREADY ALTERED THE MEMORIES OF EVERYONE WHO KNEW YOU BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR THE ARMY. YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THEIR DAUGHTER.
Li Shang: Welp, the spirits have spoken. Ping - wait is your name still Ping if you're a woman now?
Mulan: Uh. Actually, I was thinking of renaming myself. How do you feel about Mulan?
BONUS:
Mulan [climbing out of the eleventh lake the men have arranged for her to swim in]: Yeah no, it didn't work. Still got boobs. [tries to appear dejected].
Chien Po: If it makes you feel better, they're very nice boobs.
Tfw all you need is physical help but the only thing people offer is verbal support
Like yeah David I appreciate you thinking I’ve got this but I very much feel like I’m one step away from dropping the flaming torches I’m carrying on a tightrope over the library of Alexandria
every day I see six new fully finished highly symbolic art pieces of eva stratt with a set of scales and lambs and foxes and petrova lines visually paralleling nooses / restraints / trails of blood and rosaries and halos and big dioramas of earth and the sun and the hail mary and different methods of execution and explosions and rocket launches and heavenly / hell fire and allusions to major works in the art canon and I weep for my stomach not being strong enough for me to print out and eat all of them
moshang soulmate au where sqh never wrote mbj a soulmate so when he transmigrated with a soulmark that obviously represents mbj he assumes it's a one sided bond and keeps it hidden bc he doesn't want mbj to pity him or assume he has expectations or ulterior motives,
meanwhile mbj has no idea wtf the airplane shaped soulmark he has could possibly mean but he knows he has to keep it a secret bc its a potential weakness
so he deliberately acts like he doesn't have a soulmate and avoids psychics and plants that could help him locate his soulmate bc if he knew who it was he isn't sure he could stay away
for maximum drama at some point mbj gets poisoned by something where the cure is the blood of your soulmate willingly given and whoever did it is sure this will be a successful assassination bc its common knowledge that mbj doesn't have a soulmate
and mbj is also sure he's going to die bc even if he could find the identity of his soulmate in the very limited time he has left (unlikely) his teleporting powers are already unreliable (effect of poison) and he isn't sure he could get them to willingly give him what he needs anyway
the cure won't work if there's blackmail or bribery involved it has to be pure intentioned or whatever and mbj has self esteem issues tbh
so mbj is sulking about this or whatever and sqh is like "my king forgive me" and slices his palm open and holds his hand over mbjs mouth
and mbj gets to go from wtf to WTF ITS WORKING and how long has sqh known (how long has sqh been KEEPING THIS FROM HIM years of such a secret/lie for what!!! is he that undesirable???)
so he is freaking out and pissed bc "why would you let me dishonour myself by treating my soulmate like a mere servant" or whatever and sqh is very "I didn't want to burden you my king so really we can just pretend this never happened"
and mbj is hashtag coping with a lot of feelings and desperately wants a distraction (or for the world to start making sense even though this revelation makes SO MUCH SENSE) and he asks sqh abt what his weird ass mark shape means +shows it to him
and sqh is now ALSO freaking out bc 1. really? a reference to his handle? what did he do to deserve this and 2. MY KING YOU HAVE A SOULMATE?
then u get the whole "YOURE my soulmate" "obviously I'm your soulmate but I'm your soulmate!?!" and an explanation about one sided bonds (very tragic, mbj feels WORSE knowing what sqh was thinking for years)
for extra pizzazz add in an immediate proposal and "you don't have to marry me just because I'm your soulmate + in love with you" speech where mbj learns that sqh also 1. is in love with him and 2. believes it to be a one sided state of affairs
...the doctor would love for this not to be happening bc it would be really awkward to interrupt and check on how the cure is doing but that's kind of her job
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i stopped giving a shit about "legit" purchases of digital products after i spent $80 on the entire Dark Horse collection of Trigun/Trigun Maximum ebook mangas, learning that I only got access to reading them through a proprietary website ereader function, couldn't download them, and couldn't get a refund, and then literally only a year later, getting an e-mail stating that Dark Horse was shutting down that part of their company and I wouldn't even be able to read them anymore. Fuck that
Pirate shit. Don't feel bad for it. It's not "your fault" that artists, independent or otherwise, can't make a living. You downloading an album or ebook for free isn't the cause of the problem. The cause is capitalism, plain and simple, and pirating is a lucky loophole that companies are still trying to stomp out.
There are several groups of traditionalist Catholics that have been pissed since something called Vatican 2, which updated a bunch of practices and official positions, and one group of those is called The Society of Saint Pius X. Their leader was excommunicated in 1988 for making bishops (?) without permission.
Those bishops are now hella old, so they decided to make some more, and the pope said that was automatic excommunication. (excommunication matters both as a matter of theology (sacraments performed aren't valid) and economics (the church stops giving them money, can take back property, etc))
Pope said don't, and they did, and now: schism?????
Apparently they claim not to be sedevacantists ("pope's not valid"), but idek what else you would call this.
Article from the Vatican press office (calling them Lefebvrians is apparently itself a diss, as that is the name of the founder and emphasizes the cult of personality aspect)
Excellent bluesky thread liveblogging the consecration (must be logged in, I think? Screenshots are highlights)
once again i have to say that the letter from the vatican makes it very clear that this is a christian hate group. they explicitly reject vatican 2, a series of doctrines meant to update the church's relationship with its body and the rest of the world. When the letter says that SSSX is disagreeing with the church's "understanding of and relationship to judaism", they mean that SSSX believes the antisemitic myth that jews killed jesus and ought to be held responsible for it.
in my opinion, the catholic church does not get credit for this change in policy, as it was only made in 1962 after literal CENTURIES of jewish persecution and oppression. However this is not a "root for the underdog" situation- the schismers are an extremist conservatives and should be called as such.
They also believe that women belong pregnant in the home, and wearing trousers is "an assault upon woman's womanhood and so they represent a deep-lying revolt against the order willed by God." Also, they practice Holocaust denial, funding far right extremist political groups, and many higher order members have been taken to court for sexual abuse against multiple women and children. So yeah. Not the scrappy underdogs stickin' it to the boring old pope, as I've seen some people here trying to pass them off.
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This country is a farce and this "trial" is a travesty. They pinned it on a random guy and are slow-walking it as openly and and unapologetically incompetently as possible because they can. "What are you gonna do about it?" At best they steal multiple years from this man's life before he's exonerated, at worst they kill him and rule it a suicide. God Damn America.
If you look at the actual history of the decline of empires, in the vast majority of cases it's less an immediate implosion and more a decades-long slide into geopolitical irrelevance, so it's pretty likely nobody reading this post will live to see the ultimate Fall of the American Empire™, but there's value in being there at the start, too.
OK y'all, we apparently need a refresher on tumblr.
So, listen up.
This post appeared on my dash today. Now, this, to me, is obviously partially joking. The creator discovered this wildly popular ship that is definitely a bit shocking if you don't already know about it. But they told tumblr users to eat vegetables and watch sports. Obviously, not serious hate or criticism (and fandom queers love hockey rpf anyway).
What was shocking was some of the replies.
First we have replies that are like the ones as follows:
Jokes with a kinda off vibe to them. Almost certainly not serious, but if it is, wildly misses the point.
Then you have ones like this:
These replies that despite some phrasing problems (gagging at the use of "yaoislop" and its implications) are pointing out valid problems. But, as others reply to these commenters, there are so many people who do it, and you can, in fact, just block it and only get mad at people who tag their shit poorly (which is very reasonable).
Then there is this reply:
Which has a great point. If you don't like it, don't look at it problem solved. However,
This was a response to that reply. Someone who doesn't understand 1. How fandom works or 2. How aromanticism or asexuality work, apparently. And the original replier gets a bit too apologetic about something they don't need to apologise for. They are being frankly way too nice and reasonable to someone who is obviously being very aggressive in their phrasing.
Then, of course, you have people like this
Which is the kind of person I just want to pick up, feed a tasty yet healthy meal, water, and tuck into bed because clearly they need it. And also they need to take a heavy dose of chill tf out my guy you're on tumblr. And you know they're so wound up because someone replies with "who cares" and they reply:
Like jeez man, you need to take several deep breaths. This isn't the first reply to this reply though
A breath of fresh air who the original replies does not respond to because it's a good argument they can't just get mad at. And this person has a very good point. A reason many are shipping this is because of the remarkable number of parallels between the two.
OP has rightfully turned off reblogs and limited replies before this gets too out of hand.
Anyway
Moral of the story:
Block or mute if you don't like it.
Understand the platform you are on.
You don't need to reply to someone who isn't going to listen to a word you have to say.
And fucking take a deep breath and chill
Stay hydrated, make sure you've eaten, and get some sleep.
Also, this is a great example of the Internet and what people feel the need to respond to, even in my own response.
the older i get and the closer i am to reaching 30, the more the people around me try to deny me my age. it’s a constant ‘oh you’re just turning 29 again teehee 🤭’ or ‘dont tell your SO that, he’ll leave you for a younger model 😉’ and i just???? hate it?????????
i spent my entire teenaged years fighting for my life. i crawled through the deepest pits of my depression to cling to the promise of a life beyond that pain. i was so convinced that i was going to die young, that i would never see the grace of my age starting with a 2, let alone 3.
so im going to turn 30, and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do to stop me from loving it.
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propose to him with the worst fucking ring you can possibly get your hands on. like not a half-assed, "oh you won't like anything I get anyway," passive-aggression ring, that is not the play, you need to do your research and take some interest in the things that matter to your enemy future husband and really learn about like, the gemstone cuts or whatever, and then you need to get him the most eye-catching ring you can find that would also be completely offensive to his overdeveloped sensibilities. He's putting in all this effort to bribe the cat to bite you, it's the least you could do to step it up in response.
suddenly thinking about the courtroom scene, of Stratt being accused of pirating literally everything, and Grace later having everything in the various computers aboard his ship that he gave a copy to Rocky without issue, and the beetles having such a massive memory capacity and...
Stratt was a historian. She wasn't just pirating for the sake of entertainment for the astronauts, she was doing a full historical backup of the planet. Who knows how much knowledge and communications ability, how much art and culture and history, how much niche knowledge of how to make specific pieces of modern technology or modern medicines, was lost as the wars for resources isolated everyone, as the death tolls led to the deaths of specialized trade workers and scientists, as the power grids failing across the planet (or cut off, potentially) led to all the cloud servers going dark. Stratt was facing methods of combating extinction and she did her best to ensure that if/when the Hail Mary worked, it would send back not just the hope of the future in the solution to the astrophage, but the restoration of history and culture and knowledge.
Just.... she pirated everything, and put it all on the Hail Mary.
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