NevrEnder Ave.

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President Obama: “We know it is Black History Month when you hear somebody say, ‘Heyyyy, Michelle! Giiiirrrrrlllll you look so good!”

More Cat Gif

More Cat Gif

Try it out for yourself (if you wish) here

hell yeah

ah yes, the ol rolling pin dilda

it’s called the purple ramjet

which end do you start with? the answer is yours to decide

shove a vase up your ass

i call it the matterhorn

8th grade, sitting in english class: teacher is enthusiastically talking about plans for the semester. best-friend starts cupping her chest and whisper/asks whether one of my boobs feels heavier than the other. finding this out was of the utmost importance, so i begin weighing mine too. two friends beside me also follow suit, and by the time my teacher turns around, the left side of the room is juggling their chest. confused, he lifts his hands to his chest (as if to question whether he himself has a heavier boob.) he then realizes what he’s doing and turns a deep shade of red and says, “I’m going to pretend like that didn’t just happen.”

…I’ve been going thru this guy’s twitter for the last hour

Snoop Dogg narrating planet earth is what the world needs