One for Sorrow, Two for Joy

sera: ur mom lol

I guess God wanted the little robot to enjoy some sushi 🍣 🥲

“We zoom out slightly to reveal the aliens are ALSO beating their own alien-fuckers away with a space-broom.”

anyway now that the US (i.e. california) is producing more pistachios than iran, the next step is to drive consumption of pistachios, so that the farmers who are producing these pistachios can continue to make money on them. ergo all the fancy pistachio coffees at starbucks and similar shit like suddenly being able to find pistachio butter in grocery stores when five years ago it was exclusively available at specialty stores and online, and the huge boom in pistachios foods in instagram and tiktok recipe content. like i watch a lot of instagram foodie reels (cooking/baking is one of my hobbies) and these get thrown onto everyone's feeds, to promote the purchasing of pistachios, so that the US can stick it to iran. it's. kind of incredible to watch this happen in real time, because it sounds like deranged conspiracy thought, but like. i've been watching this trend for the past decade and it's fucking real.

Toph: I’ve been banned from every major city’s transportation system except Omashu

Bumi: Well, well, well. It seems I have finally met the troublemaker who has been causing such chaos with my rail systems.

Toph:…

Bumi: I must say, I am thoroughly impressed with your earthbending abilities. You remind me of myself when I was a lad.

Toph: Get to the point.

Bumi: I see great potential in you, Toph Beifong. I want you inherit my title once I am no longer fit to rule.

1. Implying Bumi was fit to rule at any point

1.1 except maybe in the sense that he was completely shredded

2. That he has no plans to die, (nor would death necessarily make him unfit to rule), but that he apparently intends to like. Tuck his arms and legs into himself and just roll off into the sunset.

Fortunately the clerks served under King Bumi the First and are well aquatinted with explaining chaos to the confused citizenry of Omashu. Without missing a beat they print the posters in 2 parts.

The first (read this aloud) part is a fairly standard Wanted poster explaining that King Bumi II Toph the Blind Melon Bandit Lord is Banned from the Omashu Transport system for crimes etc….