AndrogynousEmpress👑

I've been told I have no backbone

It is crazy how I walk with hunched back because my family's home is built on my spine

Yet somehow, I have no backbone

I am able to shape shift into mother or father or child or breadwinner

My heart put on hold

My mind only knows to recognise time so I can transform

My father's tongue lashings all land on my exposed back

"Who wants to marry a naked whore"

This naked back is what's holding him upright

I can't say that though so I take my lashes with my shoulders square

I stare deep into his eyes

I'm not breadwinner this time

Just a 20 year old girl with no sense of womanhood

My mother knocks on my ribs for attention

I need to get my heart from the line outside so she can get her therapy session in

I remember to keep eye contact

Ask no questions

Make no facial expressions

This is a poker game and I'm the best player at the table

It's night time and the house is warm from my tears

I'll serve this home another meal

Faith will hold my spine as straight as hope will allow it

And with just a bit of grace in my step

My heart will make an appearance and kiss everyone goodnight

Fathers have no balls here

They plant seeds they have no intention of tending

The women here are hybrids

Transform into father figures

Typing figures into calculators

Calculating where the next meal will be coming from

No pay checks but hunger pays carful attention and is not shy to spend

You don't need to bear children to be a father here

Your breasts are big enough balls to start looking for work to support your siblings

Your dreams nothing but a constraint to the wellbeing of the family you don't know how to create

Your breath is forever split in two

One half for your mother, especially on nights she can't hold on

One half for your dead beat father, especially on days your dreams are clutching at your neck for attention

The hours of your livelihood are split between hoping your father comes back and praying your mother wakes up

You can't hold your breath for too long

Might just kill your father

You pray your brother's balls don't drop

You pray your brother learns to be woman first

You pray your brother's dreams are loud enough to keep his zip shut and hormones in check

You pray your brother is dreaming