ainsleyabbottâ:
Breaking Point
LOCATION:Â Ministry of Magic DATE:Â May 2, 1982 @empoweredevansâ
Ainsley Abbott had never been as adept at lying to herself as her current situation might indicate. Deceiving herself, yes â but outright, deliberate denial of facts? That still wasnât her forte, even after two and a half months surrounded by duplicitous Death Eaters. So as she stumbled away from Amelia, it was hard to pretend that her eyes were watering because of the dust kicked-up by shattered marble and transfigured furniture. She knew why they were watering, and it wasnât environmental.
There was nothing she could do about that, though. She pulled her spectacles off and scrubbed at the stinging salty pools with the sleeve of her awful black robe, her mind focused more on distance than defenseâ
And turned a corner with a combination of speed and distraction that rammed her directly into another person. Ainsley staggered, stepped backwards on the hem of her robes, and went down hard enough to jar her glasses loose from her grip. She managed at least to keep her other hand tight around her wand but of course, sheâd been trained to hang onto that in a fight; who would have ever suspected that sheâd be carrying her glasses in her hand in the middle of a battle?
Ainsley scrabbled across the floor for the wayward lenses (thankful, when her hand closed over the smooth intact glass that the Unbreakable Charm sheâd put on them had held) and crammed them back onto her nose as she turned, still seated, to face the person with whom she had collided. âSorry, I wasnâtââ
And the instinctive, small-talk style apology (out of place for a Death Eater, yes, but old habits died hard and pointless pleasantries perhaps hardest of all) expired on her lips as she recognized, with dawning horror, the face of the woman looking back at her. Lily Evans.
Ainsley felt as though the ground had opened up beneath her; like the floor had melted into a pit, gaping, cold, and bottomless. But she wasnât that lucky: the floor was solid. There was no escape â not even the wand in her hand. She could have raised it, could have fought backâŚbut could she have? After everything sheâd cost Lily EvansâŚmaybe the least she owed her was an unimpeded first shot.
She winced, but kept her eyes open against the urge to squeeze them closed; if this was death, she might as well face it head-on. After everything sheâd done, what else was there to do?
Lily had lost Marlene in the scuffle. That much wasnât surprising, as the Ministry of Magic was covered in Death Eaters and cowering civilians alike. While the two women had not rekindled their friendship with one battle, theyâd had one anotherâs backs. They had made sure the other stayed alive. And that was something.Â
When she found herself face-to-face with the next Death Eater, however, the person wasnât wearing a mask. Ainsley Abbott apologized for bumping into Lily politely, as though they were at the market and both reaching for the same apple. She stood with her fingers to her glasses and the gesture sucked the air from Lilyâs lungs. James wouldâve had to do the same to keep his from flying off his face. His specs often getting in the way of Quidditch or running around the castle - or battles.
If heâd had proper eyesight, would he have died?
Those are the questions that kept Lily up at night, though she knew the answer. Yes, he wouldâve. It didnât matter what he was wearing or if he could see more clearly or if sheâd been there to stop him. James wouldâve died anyway because he hadnât raised his wand while Ainsley had.
But she wasnât raising her wand now. It was almost as if she was allowing Lily to do something. Get revenge, maybe. Or perhaps Ainsley just no longer wanted to live. Lily clutched at her wand as she stood in front of the older woman. Ainsley had been fighting this war for so much longer.
âAinsley,â Lily breathed out her name much too late. Theyâd been staring at one another for many precious seconds when it came from her lips, disbelieving and angry and sad. Lily was not afraid. Ainsley was not raising her wand. And maybe there was a moment where Lily wished they could go back and this wouldâve been Ainsleyâs choice in the first place, but there was no room for wishes in a world that didnât allow for them.
She could feel the tears burning behind her eyes, but she did not cry. Ainsley Abbott didnât deserve her tears. âHe never raised his wand,â she told Ainsley. Reminded her, more like. Not sure if Ainsley, too, was haunted by that knowledge that Mary Macdonald had shared with her. âHe never raised his wand and you thought he was planning to kill your sister.â Lily gripped her own wand tightly. âHow could he kill her if he had his wand down, Ainsley?â
"Iâm - Iâm sorry, Lily,â was all Ainsleyâs reply and Lily did not know this woman enough to tell what was going on in her mind. James knew her; James mightâve been able to tell. âIs this where you kill me?"
It made Lily laugh, looking down at her wand. Not raised. âDo you want me to?â The girls stared at one another, their eyes gripping with the knowledge that Ainsley wouldnât cast a spell this time. If Lily wanted to, she could do to this wix what sheâd done to her boyfriend. Sirius would want her to.
âNo,â Lily said. âTomorrow when you wake up, I want you to remember how easy it was to not raise a wand.â It was said with spite, though not quite with hate. Lily did not hate Ainsley, though maybe she should have. But death might be a blessing. Death would allow Ainsley to forget.Â
The choices they made in this war will live with them forever. And, just as she had with Severus so many years before, Lily turned to walk away. Ainsley has chosen her path and Lily would choose hers.Â
FIN.














