What Even Is Life

I don’t want to care anymore

It’s never going to be me. I’m never going to be the one that someone cares about. Im never going to be the one on someone’s mind all day. I’m never going to be the person that people look forward to talking to all day. I’m never going to be the one that makes someone’s heart race. I’m just a distraction until they find someone better...

Why do I always fuck things up

Life just hurts. It just fucking hurts man. I look at people who enjoy life and I just can’t grasp that concept. How could I ever understand it? I will never have the money I need for life. I will work mediocre jobs until the day I die like so many other people do. I will have an unfixable broken heart because life just simply won’t allow it to heal. Happiness is just unobtainable and I don’t know how people do it when life is so drilling and corrosive

Why do I always have to be played like this? I don’t deserve it man. It’s on me for thinking I could ever have something real

The pain from realizing exactly how fucking alone you are is deafening

My emotions range in between raw and bloody depression and dull empty aching depression. Nothing else.

How many more mind numbing, sleepless nights do I have to have before it’s over

Idk what more to do to be worth it to someone. Being alone really is all I can do

I just don’t want to fucking be here anymore

I’m not a fucking science experiment. Just give me pills to stop feeling everything completely

I don’t have any effort left in me to try anymore. It’s all just pain. Every breath, every movement, everytime I wake up, is nothing but scorching hot razor blades consuming my body. It’s too hard. And I just don’t want to do it anymore

I don’t want to feel anything anymore. It’s unbearable

I haven’t talked to god in a long time, but here I am praying for death.