Crowned.

Everything is all set for me to move on Sunday. I am so excited but I'm also so incredibly lonely.. Hmmm

Everyone's prayers and kind wishes must have payed off. I just got news that the landlords had a change of heart and that if I were still interested the house is mine. Thank you so much everyone and thank you god.

Im so over this stupid day. I just want to go to bed and fucking cry. Thing after thing keeps going wrong and I am just to the point where I don't even really want to do this anymore. I had a heartbreaking conversation with my mother in law today who is really sick. My head is killing me. I found out some thing about my ex that in it self I guess shouldn't hurt as much as it does but it has actually just really really ducking crushed me. I didn't get the house that I went to view last night and honestly I just am so done with life right now. I know that I'm probably just being emotional cause I got an hour and a half's sleep last night ive been working my ass off most of the day and cause I already feel vulnerable and like a fucking failure as a person anyway but my anxiety is through the roof right now and I am really seriously contemplating what the poi t of carrying on is.. Sorry guys after me trying to be uplifting the last few days I know that this is a really depressing post tonight. I guess I'll try again tomorrow though I'm not sure what the point is when its just going to result the same way. My mother in law is still sick is still sad and lost. My ex will still choose her over me whether I have a house or whether he gets his girls back or not it will always be her and I will still be homeless with two kids who I'm probably screwing up with all the instability like the awesome failure that I am.

I know stupid shit like this is why I'm stuck on you. The bar next door is playing save the last dance for me and I'm lying here thinking about that stupid night we danced in our lounge room with me in my ball dress. I hate you.