That One Random Blog

As a lazy person this is very satisfying to watch.

Y'all got skills

I was at my cousin’s house for a family barbecue and she shushed us all bc her neighbor ‘The Captain’ was walking by with a dog, and he was just some skinny guy with a long ponytail and a captain’s hat walking an irish wolfhound so we all like ‘what’s the big deal’ but she told us to wait and then like ten minutes later he passed again on his way back to his house but he just…had a different dog. it was like a cocker spaniel. she said every day he leaves the house with the wolfhound and comes back with the tiny dog and she’s never seen them get returned either way. she can never find out where he walks to. shes been watching him for years. my family was freaking the fuck out one of my other cousins looked like he was about to have an aneurysm.  

This is comedy gold

My science teacher gave me this particularly mind blowing thought: What if the expansion and shrinking of the universe every 30 billion years is just the result of an unfathomable sized creature breathing.

Who wants to [insert sexual activity] and [insert non-sexual activity]

jack off and eat bees

Whatever demons Ubisoft inhabited exited into Bioware.

I just got a new laptop and it doesn’t have AdBlocker yet and I swear to god I’ve never seen an ad on tumblr because I just watched a 3 minute video about Cruise Holidays because I thought it was an elaborate shitpost