maybe this time

How do you know it wouldn’t be good? I’m a very skilled melter. I’d make you them next time we have dinner if you promise to stop asking to read my poems for at least another year or so. Just to be safe. Mostly you, but there’s a few others out there that I like to be miserable, so you’re not alone. Oh? Am I on that account or is it for people who aren’t me?

A skilled melter wouldn’t call themselves that, that’s exactly how I know it. Alright, I’ll give you a year before I bring up the poems again. But just know I’m not giving up and I’m not forgetting. Will me insisting to see what you wrote be the reason why you end up murdering me? It just might be. You know, when kids are young, girls are told that boys are mean to her because they have a crush on them. So I’m just starting to think you actually really like me, if we use that logic. I don’t know if you’re on that account, you’ll have to go and check for yourself, but there are other hot dudes out there who do read. 

I’ve got a little bit of free time, watch me make a masterpiece just to impress you, now! Mexico was gorgeous, and then camping was fun, too, so I’ve been living the good life, which would be even better if I spent some time with you, pencil me in!

You don’t need to do that to impress me, you’re plenty impressive already. But I don’t mind the music dedicated to me. I’ve dated musicians before, I’ve never had anyone write something about me, which is plenty disappointing. So I think having one of my best friends write one about me would be the best thing to happen to me - ever. I’ll pencil you in, we always make it work anyway. 

@emmastnc​​

Hey you. Been a while and that’s my fault. How are you?? How is everything?

It’s weird to see you here again. I really thought you were gone. Everything’s just fine.

I did, it’s called My love, Emily Jean. You’ll never guess who it’s about…! No, I’m kidding, I behaved and went out and had fun! Zac and I are going to Mexico tomorrow and heading out until right before camping, but I should be around after that!

I’m really sad you’re only joking, because I would love to have a song written about me. Especially by you. How was Mexico? Let’s do something this week!

I’m horrible at speaking languages, so you could be swearing at me right and left and up and down and I probably wouldn’t have a single clue! But let me think… you could say pog mo thoin, which is kiss me arse, or bod ceann, my personal favorite… dickhead. Does that count? Just don’t run around telling anyone I told you those! I couldn’t agree more, we deserve to have a little bit of variety in our lives. I loved it! I’m a bit sad to be home, but also loved being in my own bed again, too.

I think that some insults you’re like, oh that’s definitely a bad word right there, I can just feel it. I’m going to say pog mo thoin, all the freaking time from now on. I think it totally counts, I won’t tell anyone, I promise, I’ll just tell them I’ve always known it. And then start speaking with a strong accent. It does feel nice to be back home!

I can make my own homemade chocolate by buying the chips and melting them down, though. Sounds like you’re trying to tempt me with something that I can make all on my own. I can sit and eat my own chocolate and read my poetry in peace. Stubborn? Me? Never heard such a thing. I’m an easy going guy, I just like to make your life harder. Yeah, I’ve been the weirdo who’s taking a book with him everywhere.

Yeah, but it wouldn’t be as good. If you’re melting chocolate, you should make chocolate covered strawberries, which are the best thing to exist in the world. So it’s not working? Let’s reverse this. What would it take, for me to get to read one of your poems? Is it just my life, or do you like to make everyone’s life harder? You know, there’s this instagram account called, hot dudes reading. So I don’t think people would consider you weird.

Sounds like it needs to open up its ears a little bit, then, if it’s being told. I’m sure you’re very upright, an upstanding citizen in the world. There are people who are bad dancers out there, I’ve seen them in my time, sounds like you’re just being very kind to people. Damn, it’s probably too late to do them in this Olympics, unless it’s a winter sport, then you still have time.

I like to think I’m honest, I don’t like to liar. Maybe I’m too...positive about people’s ability to dance, but I’m sure a lot of dance teacher would agree that there are no real bad dancers. Just...shy people? I don’t know. I could make it a winter sport, I’d probably be world champion forever, title can never be taken away.

At least if you were doing work here, it would be somewhat peaceful, right? Like I know sometimes when I’m on vacation, I’ll stop and write a song and that’s technically work, but… still! It counts as relaxing, too. I’m loving it – and I would also love to get together with you for a drink! Maybe tomorrow afternoon? Sunday drinks always seem nice. Yes! Getting in tip top tour shape.

You write songs while on vacation? Did you write any during our trip? You music genius you. Are you free next week? We need to do something together before the end of the summer.

You’re blonde?! I had no idea, I thought you were a true red head. That’s what I thought and I really don’t want you to hate me so your hair is safe, we won’t touch it.

I don’t fit the stereotypes, I know. I confuse people a lot, I don’t think many know I’m blonde. I won’t hate you, but you got to color your hair, you know that.

If his mum’s friend happens to be you, I bet that he will! I’ll ask him very nicely, there’s no way that he would turn me down for something like that, right? Absolutely! We’re going to go with the family, I think, since of course we don’t want to not be with James for his birthday. So you know, we’ll pretend the trip is for him.

How did you guess it was me? You’re so so smart, Claire. How did James’s birthday go? I hope it was awesome! Is he walking yet? 

That’s exactly how I do feel whenever it happens – because of course your first thought is that something horrible happened and this is how they’re telling us, right? I don’t mind when she visits! Although I think since she doesn’t visit that often, it makes her time here that much more special, if that makes sense? A little bit – not as fluently as English, and it’s more like random phrases that I can recall hearing, things like that. They’re fun, aren’t they? I love hearing how different accents say different things, that always ends up being an adventure. Aye, me too, even if I didn’t play, I still did my best to donate to help out, which was nice! Although now I’m looking forward to taking a bit of a vacation with everyone, are you as well?

If she visited more often, it would be like, ‘oh I know her, it’s good, I’m good, I’ve seen enough of her’. I think you should teach me something, I’d love to know a super random sentence I could never use. Or like, an insult. Because who doesn’t want to know insults in all sorts of languages. Do I know how to speak French? Certainly not. Do I know insults in French? Putain! Accents are wonderful, and bring so much diversity, if we all spoke the same it would be very boring. How did you enjoy it?

Honestly, they just might kill me. What brand are we talking about here? I need to know what’s middle ground for you, honestly, because it can vary a lot from person to person. No, no. I think middle ground is no poetry, excellent chocolate for poetry and that’s a fair trade off. I wouldn’t be sad in the least, I’d be very happy and glad that I get some room to breathe. I’m sure next time around you’ll kick butt or lose slightly less, right?

I’m thinking chocolate you’d find at whole food, or from some hipstery shop where they make their own chocolate. But the very fancy chocolate shops that’s only like, if I get to see your poetry then. I’m at this point where I’m convinced you’ll never let me see them even if you wanted to just because you’re stubborn. I’m not that annoying that I don’t give you room to breathe. Talking about not giving you room to breathe, are you also on the trip?

Feels like your ego needs to have some chill pills or something at this point. Because your ego is sort of uptight there, but I’m glad it’s trying to relax at least a little bit. No, no. I think I’m saying that because I’m well and truly rubbish at dancing, thanks very much. Football - the real kind- kick boxing, taking very long naps.

It does, I’ve been told so many times before, but somehow, it hasn’t been listening much. Maybe that just means I’m uptight? I don’t know anyone who’s that bad at dancing, you can just swing back and forth and that wouldn’t be too bad. Taking very long naps should be an Olympic sport, and I would probably win.

Of course! I wouldn’t dream of missing the trip, I can’t wait to see where we’re going and what kind of fun we can get up to. I would absolutely love that – let me know when the best afternoon for you is! I’m pretty good, actually, doing some gym work, dancing again, started doing my bunkerdowns for the fans. How about you, other than being a boss lady?

I’m enjoying it so much! It’s been such a nice break from work, even if it’s always very tempting to just open the laptop and do some of it here, I’ve managed not to do that. How are you liking it so far? If you have time, we should get together for a drink! Dancing again? You have to tell me more about that! 

I did, yeah! Back in 2018, I was given this insane opportunity to do a play called Lobby Hero in the kingdom of Broadwat, and it was equal parts wonderful, and a absolutely terrifying and intimidating, but it was worth it— every second of it. I get asked that a lot ‘Did you like making a movie or a play more?’ and they’re both such different processes, you can’t possibly compare them. sure, you have to learn lines in both of them, but the way you prepare is way different, you do two or three shows in a row for like a month; sometimes even longer… and the character I was playing was an entitled prick with no sense of morality, so it was a 180° turn from Captain America… not to mention I was dealing with awful looks from the audience the whole time because of how awful my guy was, and believe it or not, it weighs on you! It affects your performance, but it was still an incredible time, wouldn’t change it for the world. What did you do on stage? I’m curious to know about your experience there.

I’m so sad I missed it! It really sounds like it was wonderful. Being on stage is terrifying before and after, and then during it’s just so exhilarating, until both your contacts pop off and you end up blind for half an hour. It’s crazy that it’s the same job title, because it’s really so different I could never compare the two. That’s why I love acting, I love how we get to be such different people from who we are, and the more different they are from what I’m used to do, the better. I was in Cabaret, played Sally Bowles! Really the only singing role I could ever do.

It was so much fun! I enjoyed it a lot. We had a pretty good time doing the mini-crossovers. The early days were comedy gold, I think. I have a feeling a lot of people were surprised as the universe kept expanding. But one of my favorites was the growing Barry-and-Oliver bromance. The musical episode? Yeah, that one took a lot of work, recording, rehearsing, learning the choreography. Hey, it’s fun to talk about. I think you’d be a pretty great journalist, though.

Do you think they have more spin off ideas? More possibilities for crossovers? I don’t know if I’d be such a great journalist, I tend to go in way too many directions and I can’t really focus.

So you’re just gonna get me what? Decade old Hershey kisses? See, I’m thinking I’m at least a middle ground chocolate without showing you my poetry, honestly. Because I don’t have faith for the nice chocolate from you. Your friendship is something but I’m not sure if wonderful is the word I’d use there. Id be sad to not have someone to torment in my life, but I’m not sure that’s the same at all. Yay sports, indeed.

Would they still be good? I feel like those could kill you. No, I promise they would be great chocolate. I have very good tastes, they’d probably be the best ones you’ve ever have. But that’s for poetry, without poetry, you’re at average chocolate at best. What word would you use? You’d be so sad without me in your life, tormenting you. I’m very disappointed my team lost, but it just means I’m more determined for next year.