Love, Emma

Why is condemnation so quick in our veins and compassion so sluggishly slow?

Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can’t destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make your well being a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful – you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself.”

Sometimes, I’m the mess. Sometimes, I’m the broom. On the hardest days, I have to be both.

We live in an age where we feel guilt whenever we have to cut someone off but the reality is that some relationships do need to die, some people do need to be unfollowed and defriended. We aren’t meant to be this tethered to the people in our past. The Internet mandates that we don’t burn bridges and keep everyone around like relics but those expectations are unrealistic and unhealthy. Simply put, we don’t need to know what everyone else is up to. We’re allowed to be choosy about who we surround ourselves with online and in real life, even if it might hurt people’s feelings.

The words you speak become the house you live in.

Stop being tormented by everyone else’s reaction to you.

If you can speak about what you care about to a person you disagree with, without denigrating them or insulting them, then you may actually be heard.

Before you speak, listen. Before you worry, pray. Before you think ill of another, reach out in love. May we know that we have the opportunity to build up one another just as easily as we do to tear down. There is no excuse to not be gentle and kind, nor is there an excuse to think you are always right. We are flawed and broken, prone to hurt those around us. May our pride be broken so that we can see clearly, and may we have the grace of Christ instead of the mindset of man. Love those you disagree with, listen and engage with the culture around you. For one day we will be held accountable for the time we spent on this earth, it is always a beautiful thing to be known as someone who carried love so bright that it helped a blind world see again.

Friend of sinners

Cut out negativity. Cut off toxic, abusive, unhealthy. Cut not to hurt but to heal.

The thing to remember when you have been put through an abusive behavior, an assault or a cycle of behavior, is that this action speaks to the other person. It describes them, it doesn’t describe you. Part of what makes this an evil act, is that this person did not consider who you were when they did it.

Don’t preach values (things I’m doing right and you’re doing wrong), preach virtues: patience, love, mercy, gentleness. Those elements of God’s character we all struggle to live out.