retired from the spotlight

tw: homophobia

♕ - Their teen years

“It was during my teen years that I started to notice the hold my parent’s had on me. I knew when I was fifteen that I liked girls, but I also knew that I couldn’t tell my parents, that they wouldn’t support me. They found out of course and made it very clear that it was not to become public knowledge. It was only for us. Then I wanted to get into modelling but they wouldn’t allow it, not until I’d finished school. I managed to get a few bits before I graduated but I couldn’t commit to it until I had finished High School, so I took extra classes and graduated early, more out of spite than anything else. It was also in my teens that I had my first drink. It was controlled then, for the most part, but it was a stepping stone. My teen years were when I came out of my shell and grew a backbone, but they were also when I lost Emilija Petkovic and adopted Emilia Peters, when I became someone different, someone who I look back on and sometimes hate. My teen years were a turning point, both for good and bad. I wouldn’t fix it, but I wouldn’t want to relieve it either.”

♔ - Their childhood

“My childhood felt very standard, very normal. My parents were strict, but no more than other children I knew at school. They expected the best and they held me to a high standard in all areas of my life. They were immigrants, they’d worked hard to get where they were, so it felt like I needed to repay them. I never really felt like I was being held too tightly, not until I got older. In elementary and middle school I just wanted to impress them, to be worthy of them. My childhood was a happy one, I had friends, I played and I worked. I spent weekends helping at my dad’s restaurants and evenings sat playing with my brother. I loved musicals and theatre and all things stage and screen, absorbing everything I could. I was happy, I was content.”

“Its good to know that people eventually get over it,” Hal chuckled, more to herself than anything else. She nodded. “Yeah, well, I guess so. I’ve written two films that actually made it somewhere. The Galaxy Gang, and Maine. They’re kind of indie, but Maine is up for a few awards this year.” Screenwriting was not one of them, and that fact burned a hole in her bitter little heart. “Right, I agree,” she said, forcing another laugh.

“If I’m honest, most people don’t even notice,” she smiled, “think it’s a combination of the show being so old and me being so old,” she joked. She took a sip of her own coffee now that she had it, a quick glance to see her son still enthralled in his game. She listened, eyes widening at the mention of the movies, “I’ve seen Maine,” she said, a little excitement in her tone, “I loved it!” She paused, not wanting to scare off the woman, “you’re good, really good. I mean all I did was recite some lines someone else wrote for me.”

♛ - Marriage and Wedding Ceremonies

“My wedding was one of the best days of my life, up there with the children’s adoption days. Now it’s tinged with sadness, but I’ll never regret it. I left a lot of the planning up to her, I’d never dreamt of a white wedding, I just wanted to be married to her, how it happened wasn’t really my worry. It was perfect though, just right, not overdone. We had everyone we needed there and the place was beautiful. When I saw her walk towards me though I almost lost my mind, she looked incredible, I can still remember the way my hands shook and I struggled to get my words out. That day will never not fill me with joy.”

♘- Their first kiss

“I had two first kisses, that’s the way I see it, or three if you count onscreen. My first kiss was when I was fourteen with a boy called Matthew, needless to say I wasn’t totally into it. He was my ‘boyfriend’, but only because everyone else seemed to be having one and I liked hanging out with him, he made me laugh and my friend’s said he was attractive. My real first kiss was when I was sixteen with a girl called Maddie, that was a whole different thing, I finally got what everyone was chatting about. On screen my first kiss was when I was on the show with some random extra, my girl Poppy did a lot of kissing. 

“Oh, I’m sure motherhood has you ready for any and all kinds of situations.” Felicity said with a small chuckle, memories of her own mother pulling out all sorts of items when she needed them, whether the brunette had even asked for her to pick them up or not. “That’s so good of you, fostering those kids. How is that?” She asked, genuine curiosity. Following her miscarriage, it had been something that she had considered herself, but hearing it from someone who actually was a foster mother more insightful than anything she might have found online. “Heading back to high school wasn’t something I planned at thirty five, that’s for sure.” She nodded as she thought of the evacuation that had occurred, but it was a necessity in the end. “Fingers crossed we get as extreme sunshine as we did snowfall. I can’t wait to be able to get down onto the beach and not need a jacket.”

“It definitely keeps me on my toes,” she agreed with a laugh, with kids you never really knew what was coming, and when you were fostering it was that times 10. You didn’t know the cihldren’s triggers or their whole story, and sometimes you didn’t even know how many children you would have in your house day to day. “Fostering is hard, but it’s worth it,” she admitted. “Giving them back hurts, but you know you’ve helped, one step on their journey.” She paused for a minute, feeling like she was rambling on, “adoption day with those first three were the best days of my life though,” she admitted. She laughed, “I go to High School far more than I’d like,” she admitted. She crossed her fingers dramatically, “oh I would love that, I think we are definitely owed it.”

he wasn’t expecting to see her— fuck he hadn’t really expected to see anyone, but he was happy that it was her. Em had always been a strong woman, a great friend and he was happy to see that it was him he’d collided with aside from another. at least she could hold her own. “Em— jesus, sorry about running into you. how are you?”

She smiled at him as he apologised, harbouring no hard feelings at all, it was an accident after all and although Em probably would’ve cursed a little at a stranger but not Judah. “Don’t worry, you know I’m made of strong stuff,” she smiled. “I’m doing good, same old same old,” she admitted. “So, you back for good now?”

Playdates were a staple for Benji Cooper and Simone was always happy to let her son spend time with his friends. This playdate was a little different - Emilija’s foster children weren’t kids Benji knew well but she thought it was important for him to make some new friends. Plus, she knew Emilija and knew she was trying to get the kids out with peers a little more. 

Which was how she found herself seated in Emilija’s living room, Addie on her lap with a teething ring in hand. “Thanks,” she said as the coffee is placed on the coffee table in front of her, chuckling a little at the words. “I feel sorry for your feet already,” she joked, smiling over at the other woman, reaching for the coffee cup. “At least they’re all playing together though. Benji wasn’t trying to boss them around was he? He’s going through a phase I think…” Simone mused, shaking her head lightly as she sipped her coffee. 

“How are you though? Are they settling in?” Simone asked, head tilting back towards the playroom curiously. 

It was rather lucky that Simone and Emilija now had children the same age, and the three of them seemed to get along pretty well, though of course time would tell. Em made it a point to set up any new children with lots of playdates, she invited around anyone they liked at school and engineered her own with children that she thought they would get on well with. The twins were tricky as the two girls were incredibly different, so Em had done her best to arrange playdates with lots of different children in a bid to get them some friends.

Em cooed at Addie, she had a soft spot for babies, but hadn’t had many placed with her over the years, Emilija knew that babies were much easier to place, whereas the older children often struggled to find a home and Em was more than happy to take them in. “They need to invent some kind of lego vaccum,” she declared, surprised no-one else had invented one. She shook her head softly, “no, they were playing really nicely,” she explained, “trust me, those girls would put him in his place if he did try to boss them around.” The twins were spitfires that was for sure and they didn’t hold back. “I’m good, busy, but good,” she admitted. “Being a single mom is pretty different than the first time around.” Adopting and fostering on your own was a whole different ball-game, she’d learnt that the hard way. “They’re settling really well, I think it helps that they have each other.” Sibling groups came with their own problems but it was always nice to see how the children supported one another.

“Preparedness is definitely a good thing, girl scout or not. Sometimes I wish I was able to be as forward thinking as that, you know?” Felicity said with a slight shrug of her shoulders. It wasn’t that she was ever under prepared, she just didn’t always account of every outcome to an action, which sometimes left her in hot water - or with cold fingers, for that matter. “It’s a nice way to pull everyone together. Hell, my mom was never into the basketball, but my dad loves it so they have a party every year. Dad loves the sport, Mom loves the party of it all, so it all works out.” She made a mental reminder to speak to them later on about their plans, but that wasn’t something she needed to distract herself with right away. “Ours too, we were so lucky. We had a couple of friends stay with us, while they waited for their places to be repaired. We’re the lucky ones I think! Hopefully the town will be a little more prepared the next time these things happen, don’t you think?”

“I wasn’t always prepared,” she admitted, “not until I changed jobs and had kids.” Growing up Em had been diligent about her studies but she wasn’t that organised. As the ‘fame’ came Emilija didn’t have to be organised, she didn’t have to be prepared because she had people to do that for her. She had an assistant, she had people on set who told her where to be and when, who got her drinks and snacks when she needed them, she became lazy. She depended on others, relying on them to do the hard work. Then she had her wake up call, being sober meant being organised and prepared, not going into a situation that you couldn’t handle. Being a mom was like that too. “Organised sports were never a thing in our family,” she admitted, though she liked the idea of a family banding together over a sport. “Yeah, I ended up with a couple of babies short term because their foster parent’s house was wrecked, but other than that we coped okay. Hopefully the town will put some more precautions in place.”

“I used to watch your show all the time! I think you’re great,” Hal gushed before she could think of something more eloquent to say. “I don’t mean to, like, expose you in public, though.” She looked around to make sure no one had heard her. “I know you may not have had a huge say in the writing of that show, but I was really inspired by it. My first few screenplays bared a coincidental resemblance, if you know what I mean.” 

Emilia smiled a genuine smile as the younger woman complimented her show, laughing lightly at the idea of being exposed. “Don’t worry, people around here are very much over the fact that I used to be on TV,” she admitted with a laugh. “I’m so glad that you enjoyed the show.” Her eyes widened, impressed as Hallie spoke about being a screenwriter. “You’re a writer?” she asked, instantly intrigued, “hey, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery right?”

Who: @laylaferguson​

Emilija had had calls to many different places around town, in fact at this point it felt like there wasn’t much she hadn’t seen. This wasn’t even the first time that she’d been called to the club, her eyes rolling as the new recruit that rode beside her became giddy at the idea of it. She gave him a dressing down, explaining the appropriate behaviour, they were on the job, not a stag do. They arrived and pulled up outside. Em grabbed her bag and handed in, giving him one last look before they pushed through the doors. They were led towards a back room to see two girls, one obviously injured, whilst the other seemed to be more of a support. “Hey, so what happened?” she asked, kneeling down and pulling open her bag as she looked over the injured dancer. She looked up at the probie who looked absolutely terrified in the presence of two beautiful dancers, “I apologise for him, he spoke a great game on the way here but seems the cat has lost his tongue,” she said with another eye roll followed by a laugh. 

𝔴𝔥𝔬 — anyone @somertonstarter​​ 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 — leaving gym heroes 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔫 — thursday evening

there was little for him to focus on in his down time, and the gym had become a large part of how he spent his days off unfortunately. it was a bit too much of a trek to use the base gym all the time so the one in town worked well enough. he was just leaving, and the sun was just beginning to set over the horizon. he wasn’t sure what was on the cards for the rest of the night, but fuck did he want something to distract him. his eyes were fixated on his phone as he rounded the corner, clearly colliding with someone else as he did, dropping his phone to the ground and anticipating to pick it up to discover a large crack across the screen. fickle and fragile things they were. “fuck— sorry.” he mumbled as he looked back at the other. “you all good?” he was six foot and three inches, and a very broad man. getting bumped into by him generally made some impact or the other. 

Emilija hadn’t had a proper nights sleep in a while. Whenever she had new foster children they struggled with the transition but Poppy seemed to be really struggling and the three year old was very clingy. Today though she was at nursery, so Emilija had got herself an extra strong coffee and attempted to get as much done as she could without children holding onto every limb. Errands were done but as her brother was looking after the kids for the evening she wasn’t in a rush to get back, which was rather a novelty. She rounded the corner only to collide with someone. She heard the voice before she realised who she had collided with, her slightly annoyed expression turning into a grin. “Judah!” she beamed, “long time no see!”

Hallie looked up from her phone, which was still chiming with texts from her PR team as she locked it. It was a welcome interruption, and she smiled as she reached out to take her coffee. “Yeah, I am,” she nodded, still a little foggy from the party the night before. “It’s fine. Now I don’t have to walk all the way to the counter to get it.” She hated when people recognized her, and hated even more to be a hypocrite, but she couldn’t help but notice who she was talking to. Growing up, the blonde watched a lot of TV. “I don’t mean to be weird, but is your name Emilija?”

She smiled, glad that the younger woman wasn’t annoyed by Emilija taking her drink, it had been a pure accident and definitely felt like the onus should be on the barista, why hand two drinks at the same time if they were for different people. She was a little surprised when the girl asked about her name. There had been a period of time when Emilia was recognised multiple times a day, where people called her character’s name at her rather than her own, or were surprised to find that she was Emilija Petkovic rather than Emilia Peters. That time was long gone though, so this was rather refreshing. “Yeah it is,” she smiled, she didn’t want to assume anything yet, of course there was a chance that perhaps Hallie had just picked up her cup in return, and so this was nothing more than a case of misplaced coffee. “It’s nice to meet you Hallie.”

The young ones were with their social worker on a visit for a day which left Emilija with a lot more free time than usual. She’d decided to spend the day with Milo but he’d definitely tired of her and had his nose buried in her phone. She’d bribed him with a hot drink before they headed home in a bid to keep his attention for a little longer before he took to his xbox. Two drinks were placed on the desk and Emilija heard her name, picking them up wthout paying too much attention. She then turned the drinks, attempting to work out which was Milo’s hot chocolate and which was her extra-strong coffee. It was only then that Emilija realised that only one of the drinks bore her name. She handed Milo his coffee which got her a grumbled thank you before she turned back to the people waiting. She spoke up, “sorry, are you Hallie?” she asked, “they gave me your drink, I’m so sorry, promise I haven’t had any!”

Emilija sat through a lot of playdates with many different parents. After the first couple she tended to encourage the parents to drop their children and go, often finding that just because her children like the other children didn’t mean that Emilija got on with their grown-ups. This playdate was different though, as it was actually the moms that wanted to spend time together and the children were pretty much forced to. Emilija had been very relieved when the twins had got on with Simone’s child, as it meant that they could have coffee while the three of them entertained themselves, of course with the little brother tagging along behind. 

She walked through from the kitchen with the two coffees after dropping off some snacks in the playroom for the kids who were playing happily. She sat one down on the coffee table next to Simone before sitting down in the chair with her own. “So they are apparently building a lego fortress,” she mused with a laugh, taking a sip of her own coffee. “Which means I will be standing on lego for the next three weeks.”