“I never did quite forgive myself.”

they’re still here

(closeups + no lyrics version under cut)

There’s a lot of good character moments in here: Jean being recognised by Eren on how much he’s changed since Trost, Historia breaking down over Ymir leaving, and of course, Eren worrying over Mikasa’s broken ribs (the eremika vibe is strong with this one)

In hindsight, it's a dense chapter that wants to cover all nuances, but finds little time for it all, so it ends up being a mess that is fully open to any kind of faith criticism from bad to good.

(Armin thanking Eren while calling a genocide a mistake will forever live in infamy even when leaning on the most good faith interpretations.)

But the fact that Eren is a complete mess instead of a stoic, stone-faced saviour trope is much more interesting than just accepting he suddenly became hyper-competent and didn't care about anything anymore. This was already clear when looking at his monologues prior to the ending, but the facade completely breaks by 139.

Hi outburst regarding Mikasa (and in the anime his messy farewell with Armin that might've fixed the whole ending) at least kept character consistency if nothing else.

I've had psychotic episodes where I simply come across as depressed and a little confused. I've had them where I'm anxious and rocking and crying but I'm not loudly proclaiming my delusion.

I've had psychotic episodes where I thought my family was being stalked and I had to harm myself to appease the beings stalking us but nobody knew. My injuries were hidden and I simply stayed inside the house.

I've had voices make me feel terrible so I just cry and talk about what an awful person I am but that just looks like low self-esteem.

It can be right under your nose.

yes, i also have a lot of crazy ideas that i believe and i see and hear things that aren't there and sometimes i start freaking out because i think someone close to me died when they're perfectly fine or that someone's coming to kill me or that my pets have been replaced with alien creatures, but i'm also a person with a life and a childhood and friends and i am not a threat to anyone.

and i'm here. on tumblr. on youtube. in real life. i can see and hear what everyone says about people like me. and i'm fucking tired of it.

We are real. Our mental illness doesn't invalidate our identity. Our identities aren't the reason we are mentally ill.