Olivia Abernathy

Dear Lord, I have never claimed to be a particularly devout man, and I have not prayed nearly as often as I should. But if You are listening, I beg You: deliver my mother from the internet. If she calls me 'Franny' one more time, or shares another embarrassing story from my childhood, or makes one more suggestive comment to my classmates, I shall be forced to reconsider my faith entirely. I do not wish to become an atheist, Lord, but You are making it rather difficult. Please. Intervene. Je vous en supplie.

huh, I can barely get my Johnnie on the phone for ten minutes, let alone all the pleasantries you’ve seemed to share. nice to know our boys get along so well though x

Oh, all boys go through that when they hit a certain age 😂 x My baby boy can hardly stand a five minute on the phone with me before he claims himself away from the line due to a ‘knock’ on his door 🚪 The silly boy thinks I don’t know his lying voice, but I do — it’s the same as mine 🤣🤣😇 (Also, dear, the key is to turn up unannounced and trap them, especially make sure they’re around their little friends for extra embarrassment when you start telling their baby stories LOL 😜 my franny gets red at the mere mention of his chubby little face as baby. I’m sure that’d work on your darling Richard 🥰 ) xo

I must admit, I let out a chuckle to this.

This is what gets a laugh out of you? I get a laugh out of you from my jokes maybe once every 10 jokes. Should I just start quoting minion memes?

What about your eyes, Richard? They are not merely brown; they are the colour of dark chocolate, the sort that is both bitter and sweet, which is to say, rather intriguing. They have a way of drawing one in, even as they keep one at a gentle distance. A paradox, certainly, and I have always been rather fond of paradoxes. I find them quite affecting, if I may say so.

My own baby getting flirtatious under my post 🥺🤧 They grow up so fast ❤️‍🩹 . I remember the days I used to prop you up on my lap and you’d pretend to read whatever book I had chosen that day, now you’re waxing poetry 😊🌅 What a perfect boy 🥰

I must admit, I let out a chuckle to this.

It’s nice to know my son’s little friends at least have humour 🥰😂 x

Welcome to the internet, Mother. You've already mastered the art of oversharing, and the cougar analogy is certainly a choice. The photo is lovely, though. You do look seventeen. I suspect you'll be quite the sensation here. Try not to scandalise the locals too quickly.

Hardly sure what you mean love xx There's no analogy present in my love for the large felines, how silly 😜 And, oh my sweet boy, you flatter me, I'll be sure to be on my best behavior around your little friends, wouldn't want your mama to embarrass her pride and joy (🥰🥰) .