sweet lies

'he would not fucking say that' maybe he would if he knew he was starring in his very own porn fic for the sole purpose of delighting some freaks on archive of our own dot org. maybe he'd play it up for the cameras. ever consider that

I feel like starting an urban legend about a demon that kills you if you don't have headphones on when browsing tiktok in public

not enough flaming swords being swung these days

i thionk we should dump hundreds of gallons of acid on lady liberty to turn her copper again. i think itd be cool. and i think the hudson bay could handle all the acid because its got that new yawk spirit.

my three girlfriends. and YES they prophesy the death of the king of scotland

if ur gonna be pressed into service by your liege lord, u want to be the swiftest rider. get good at horses, because they're always sending the swiftest rider off to do some other shit that is, crucially, away from the battlefield. I'm telling u. when ur forces are outnumbered and the enemy legions show up with some unexpected advantage, someone in command is gonna say, "send the swiftest rider to alert the queen!!!" that's u. u want to be that guy

clicking a pen over and over again is actually fun as fuck its a shame it makes everyone in a 30 foot radius want to kill me with a rock

there's a point in your life on the internet where "oh, it's a weird sex thing" becomes reassuring. there's so many worse reasons that people do things. fly your flag mate