Elusive Katherine

 ( This solo is based on the TVD books )

“Pain is the feeling. Suffering is the effect the pain inflicts. If one can endure pain, one can live without suffering. If one can withstand pain, one can withstand anything. If one can learn to control pain, one can learn to control oneself.” I whisper to myself repeatedly, as if the words of encouragement could put up a façade to control my nerves.

I usually am free of those…Of feelings but from time to time the humanity creeps far too close under my skin; this as one would have already guessed is one of those very rare occasions in which I find myself very humanlike...vulnerable and untrustworthy.

Murmuring the secret words under my breath, I fiddle with the phone that is cradled between both pale hands. My comfort zone is definitely not here. I don’t fancy the public where smell of fresh human blood assaults my nostrils, arousing the hungry fangs, far along from an airport where the whole bloody pack of them are loaded in one place.

I sit down, joining the mortals that await their loved ones and go through my messages on the phone. Just to make sure I have everything under control.

The call came in late at night, not on the phone of course but in my bones. That is the easiest level of communication for our kind. Telephones are just far too slow to satisfy our needs. At first I thought I was being summoned, called upon by my maker after seven years. I woke up in cold sweat and shivering in my place but I was far from right. He was sending me a message you see…He needed me to bring him all his belongings that he had once left in my possession. Dark objects with extreme power of destruction. No questions asked, here I am.

I am always early to his calls. Never fashionably late, never putting extra lies on for sport, always pure Katherine feeling like a white li’le dove. He makes me this way…His wrath and the excitement that comes with it. He makes my slender fingers go numb with the coldness that radiates from my body and my face pale as though without color.

Only the movements around me have the audacity of showing me just how still I am. Sitting down with both legs settled against one another, not even tapping the floor out of nervousness.

My locks fall down over my tiny shoulder bringing an strange warmth to me as I look over my phone, realizing I have been still for far longer than I had imagined.

We parted on good terms, my maker and I. Even though I wanted to cry him a river for wanting to take on a different path than me, I could not. I ran out of tears centuries ago. So instead…I smiled and let him peck my cheek before he took his leave.

I look up, terrified as a few tourists pass by. Although entirely aware that his aeroplane hasn’t landed yet, I can’t help but to look up each time those cross doors split open to reveal passengers. I long for him to walk out like a five year old child.

I watch strangers as they pass by. I wouldn’t hunt here…I can’t think about that right now…Oh my poor maker. He must be famished now. He doesn’t drink just any blood…His kind is quite different from mine. He needs to keep his blood pure and the way humans are going? There won’t be much supply left for him by the century’s end. All of these kids are now stained with alcohol, nicotine and all sorts of drugs he wouldn’t even think of touching.

A sudden operator announces the landing of his plane from Paris. I stand up just as all others waiting for their lovers, husbands, fathers and friends do though I am in a distance, away from the crowd. My heart racing inside my chest, punching the cage, it’s fighting to break out.

I can’t find the strength to moisten my lips with a simple lick. With every person that walks out, my heart jumps faster and harder and I feel my knees get weaker each passing second. I swallow through the closed fist that is my throat. The zombies hugging and kissing their intended but they too are a blur to my vision. All I can see is the door that keeps opening and closing.

I tremble…finding myself drawing in a cool breath after a sudden gasp. My left hand’s fingers try to calm me, squeezing my right hand’s digits.

Soon the saloon is emptied and I’m the only one left. Finally, after realizing he is not here, my knees lose their strength and I drop down to my seat. I know he will be here. He is a deceiver not a liar. He wouldn’t have forced me into the city for his own amusement…He doesn’t do to me what he does to others.

My head turns to follow the sound of a child running after his mother but in the same instance a cold breeze rushing through the very doors I have been stalking, touches my locks, taking me up to my feet instantly. My phone which has now slipped from my fingers collides with the titles creating a loud sound that brings all the attention towards me. I am taught not to do things similar to this. Things that will make others notice me. That is why I dress the way I do. So casually and so darkly but now I couldn’t care. The breeze brought a familiar scent. A smell of precious blood filled with strength and purity.

My legs drag me towards the door, all sounds but the one belonging to my beating heart becomes mute. All senses going numb but my wandering eyes and curious nose. Lips part and I breathe a sensual breath wanting to become one with the only being hidden from my view.

I stand there with an erratic heart for hours. Even past the point of strength, even after being told to perhaps sit down. I stand there facing the door as the sun goes down because I know he will be there. I know he is there, waiting for me as I am for him.

More than three flights past, he is still not here and I am still waiting…Longing to be completed.

My gaze locked on the floor, I couldn’t care less when a stranger cleaned the remaining pieces of my phone. He is a complicated man. No one has the ability to understand how the old one’s brain works. No one can simply be that intelligent…Not even me to be honest.

I have been waiting for so long…I am so thirsty and tired. Exhausted from all the hours of fruitless staring…What is this strange emotion deep inside me? As if I want to hide away from anyone that looks at me? Is that embarrassment?

“Patience is virtue…” Says the owner of a hand placed in front of me. The bronze of a big ring visible to my eyes. Both my hands grab the one in front of me and press my soft thirsty lips to the ring for a long kiss. “Rise child” He commands, keeping his hand firmly in place for me to kiss.

“Father…” I whisper lowly as I stand up, only a few inches in-between my chest and his. Oh sweet lord I sometimes forget how blonde he is. How tall and handsome.

My eyes catch a glimpse of his icy blue orbs, as cold as his soul before bowing my head in respect. I swear I see a few wrinkles here and there… “You look old…” I whisper. A darkening sadness taking over me not by the taunting loneliness that always flies near me but for the depressing matter of him looking so shattered and yet absolutely beautiful. He is the beautifully tragic fact in my life.

He nods in response, always entitled to the culture we once shared. A shadow of a smile appears on his lips “Father…” He repeats after me. “Don’t you ever wonder with which tittle they would address you? Those who know little of our standing in the modern world?  Most of the others get confused trying to choose between your highness and my lord. Though I’m fairly certain you miss being a princess; you needn’t bother with the idiocy surrounding the history”

“Princesses are meant to follow…Queens rule.” I manage to say.

“Oh have you taken on a grudge for something so small?  Matters of the past…We must move forward. The change has come upon us” He jokes, already adjusting to the American society. “How would your life be different if…You stopped worrying about things you can’t control and started focusing on the things you can? Let today be the day…You free yourself from fruitless worry, seize the day and take effective action on things you can change”

Together we head for the door at first light and I murmur fearfully “Steve Maraboli…”

“My best student…” He remarks as if proud but I was not done replying to him. So I continue “Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be”

Reaching the automobile I had brought in for the old one, I stop at his halt. His eyes scan my body up and down with the same kind of judgmental look that I fear.

“Big words for such a little girl, wouldn’t you think?” He says, holding a neutral expression on his face.

Any woman who is sure of her own wits, is a match, at any time, for a man who is not sure of his own temper but to step out of line like that? What was I thinking? Have I not learnt how bad it can get?

“My apolo-” He cuts between my words, opening the vehicle’s door “Any supply problems?”

I shake my head in response, a little frantic and feeling as foolish as ever.

“I believe you have everything I asked for, pretty thing” He places his palm on the roof of the car.

“All the names and types are written on every bottle” I nod, reassuring him.

“Yes yes, tell me all about it when we’ve reached the island.” He says dismissively. I’ve spoken out of turn again. I know how easy it is to frustrate him but I have no virtue. I have no patience.

“I won’t be there…I’m going to Asia” I bite the inside of my lips, not showing anything on face, no feelings, no expressions. I’ve found the strength to finally break free.

“Where in Asia might that be, little one?” He tries to restrain his anger through clenches jaws and using the opportunity I look up, not wanting to be the pretty fool anymore.

“Isn’t mystery the most exotic thing in life?” I say.

“Very well, then. Be gone now.” He says bitterly.

“Enjoy your stay, #Klaus” I gather just the needed energy to utter those words. My throat closing tightly.

He just nods and enters the car slamming the door shut before its engine roars. Please say something, stop me from leaving. Anything…Is this how he felt when I didn’t defy him parting from me?

Today I am in control because I want to be and the car moving away from me cannot change that fact. I will not give it the power to control me.

Heading to the opposite direction of the said car, I walk towards the yellow taxis that stand by. My ears hearing my maker’s departure.

‘To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves’ only now I can understand that…Now that the Taxi takes me to places unknown to me. Now that I have gathered the energy to tell him I have no patience for him to keep silent for so long…and I know that I was wrong before...I’m not out of tears at all.

(This solo is based on the books)

I stare down at the balcony every day, thinking about how lonely I am inside. I felt a hunting loneliness that could only be found in him. All that I knew as life and familiar are now nothing but a pile of dust in a village somewhere in Germany. From where he made me travel down south, to this place. Long rides and boring companions, just to hear a singer.

He sits to my right, with his expensive clothes and the pocket watch I can hear next to his beating heart. For some reason this gathering is the gloomiest event of my day. For a conscientious hour, I sit next to him.

Takes close to an eternity for this almighty singer to come out and open her worthy mouth. No words leave her throat, just a sadistic melody that tears my chest and crashes my heart within. I wished for my attention to be concentrated upon the beautiful woman but I can’t help but notice the silence at my right. Constant flicker of men and women might give satisfaction to restless eyes but not him. He is gazing upon the table. Staring blankly. If I could only reach high enough to fly with him. If I could reach him…

Poor man is misunderstood, not a single person who sees his pain. Takes me all strength to see behind the curtain he hides under. I’d cry him a river but I ran out of tears about a century ago.

In his most vulnerable moment, as he is listening to the angelic song the lady is singing, I lean forward. Using my force to read his thoughts…French. I huff, placing delicate fingers upon the table to support my rise. Excusing myself with a look before I take my leave. He isn’t able to endure being at a disadvantage, that’s why he thinks in languages I cannot understand. He once told me he has mastered 19 live languages and 4 dead ones. How can a man be so patient? Then again he was far from a man. Covered in saintly gestures only /i/ was able to see.

“The young lady doesn’t find the feast amusing? “ an unfamiliar voice speaks, the source has shamelessly grabbed my arm. In a sudden movement my head turns towards #Klaus. 

“ She is excused “ His voice echoes in my head. What only creatures like me can bear to hear. My hues run down the strange man’s firm chest. No heartbeat…even vampires have heartbeats. His hand reaches back of #Klaus’ and pats it in a way only men do “My boy “ He says.

In less than a second my interest has reached its climax. Tho The nod The old one gives, assures me of my leave. I’m no longer needed. At last the real reason as to why we traveled all the way south has shown itself. He sees strange men I have yet to meet everywhere we set foot on. One is called #Solomon the other #Sage. One vainer than the other. As the years passed I stopped caring about those he meets. Dishonesty reeks from most men I have encountered.

I pull up my heavy gown just a little to ease my way up the grand stairs. On the second floor to the right, I can see the longest pathway I have ever seen. It stretches till the light catches and even more. The heart breaking voice of this foreign singer reaches my ears even here. Lighting a fire that burns throughout my walk.

The grunts of a man grasps my attention. In between rests the moans of a woman. I swallow my sorrow and walk pass them just as soon as I have reached the lovers. At first I thought my eyes were mistaking…playing a trick on my mind perhaps. I could swear I knew the blonde tresses that fell over her shoulder and the tall handsome gentleman within her embrace. My heart races within my chest, pumping as fast as it would during a fair fight.

“Isn’t that what you wanted? “ I could have sworn I didn’t hear him. I straighten my back, looking behind me. Where the lovers should have been…

“ I missed your point, sir “ I peeped. Not even #Klaus’ movement fails to meet my ears. Who...or should I say what /was/ this man?

“ I showed you , your deepest desire” He takes a step towards me as though floating in the air, yet his feet have not left the ground. “I am everywhere and nowhere, child “He answers my question without it even going through my head.  Theatrical…I see.

“ Now you know “ He announces before his image turns into smoke before my eyes.

You see intriguing things like that every day if you lived with the oldest vampire that ever walked the earth. So I choose to overlook most of the hunting thoughts that follow me.

Later in the night, when the castle is at rest and no light is burning, #Klaus comes to visit me. Midnight is usually when we meet. Predators like us despise the sun. He places the newly carved chess piece down at the table. He has brought blood, an offering. As he does every time he feels me parting from him. It’s just not the truth. I feel a bound to my maker that is beyond explaining.

“Who was the stranger? “ I ask courageously yet carelessly for him not to believe I have taken interest, all the while my hand feels the carvings on the chess piece. This is a rare one. He must have spent hours perfecting it. On the bottom I find what I have found on every piece he carves. Some as old as 5 centuries. He said the writings were in the language he felt most comfortable. A dead language.

“ He is the devil “ #Klaus comes forth.

I can’t help but to smile at his mockery. “Honestly I asked “My lashes are lowered, he does not enjoy a repeated question.

“My respond was frank, little one “his answer takes me by surprise. My curiosity cannot stop my tongue.

“But you said such creatures ceased to exist” I force my eyes away in the fear of him catching me staring in admiration.

“So many questions tonight, pretty thing”

That was it. I had hit the wrong nerve. I lower my head holding the piece of wood between my long and pale fingers. His physical vitals are rather calm. I can sense his tension if he has any.

My gaze catches his sword unwillingly. The writings he once translated for me are similar to the writings on the chess piece. Restless orbs follow what I know as letters back in the wooden piece.

“ K? “” I ask assurance, showing him the piece. He gives me a slight nod. He never stood still once alone with me. There was always a tapping foot or a clenched fist somewhere. Attitudes that proved him impatient. As though he wanted to speak of some problem he never found the opportunity to.  

“ As in Klaus? “ I touch the bottom of it. It’s carved so carefully I have never seen anything like it. “Why is it repeated?” before my mind processes the new question my mouth has spoken.  

“ The second K is for Katherine “ I heard him before he set his pocket watch upon the far table and left me to the silence of the room. The watch mirrored a dozen suns. I heard him before he left. Oh I do not need reaching anymore. I have reached as far as anyone has ever before.

 ******

It was not then that I knew. Centuries later…here I stand in the modern age thinking about that day, staring down the balcony, thinking about how lonely I am without him. /Now/ I hear you. As loud as a bomb, like an explosion taking place in my heart.

(This solo is inspired by the books/AU)

#Solomon ’s house was more elaborate than I had imagined. The red and white mansion overlooked the bay. He was the same as the day I had last seen him. Those arrogant eyes looking down spitefully at people. Fractiousness he spoke to welcome me and #klaus within. Mein Lieber #Klaus says he is a man of fine breeding…a pure blood. I’d say he is rotten to the core. A dominant and pre assured #Solomon Jabbers about the French windows that stretch to the end of the corridor. Quite frankly neither of us gives a damn. We’re careless creatures. Strong…we take what we want and there is no shame in that.

Inside the light is glooming. Girls run around dancing with their loosened morals and shortened gowns, drinking the free drinks that the old ones provide. A windy night in late summer of 1923. The booze draws #Klaus in and the blood keeps him within the city. He ought to enjoy NewYork though I’d say he is avoiding Germany because the song of another war has reached his ears. Nothing bugs the old man more than weak blood.

The breeze hides the deep summer insides the walls of this rather magnificent mansion on long island. “ Will the lady care to join for a dance? “ Human blood within his body, as fresh as the food that’s being served. “ of course if your husband don’t mind “ He turns his gaze towards the open door , where #Klaus has one hand in his pocket. So cold and icy he seems on that colorful porch. With one swift stretch of my body I stand up creating a rude shooing motion with my left hand “ The gentleman is my father. “ I take my leave without giving the bloodbag a chance to elaborate further. My eyes are set upon his firm and muscular form disorderly.

“Ladies do not lie , #Katherine “ His voice sings a melody against my skin. Those ice blue eyes still hiding from me. If personality was an unbroken series of gestures, then there was something gorgeous about him. Something that promised not only life but power. He seeks something I can’t seem to reach, in a faraway land. No matter how neutral that vacant face is, I can see the sad expression underneath.

“Predators needn’t explain themselves to their prey. “ an amused laugh skips my mouth as I speak. Involuntarily I glance upon what has created me. I did not lie in some fit of unrequited and twisted reality. He has made me so therefore he carries my papa’s name. My poor maker whose blood has given me life and runs through my veins. The only thing in sight is the deck and that disgusting sea side. Running water frightens me. Oh only Lord knows how much I’d like to grab whatever has grasped his attention.

Not a moment has passed and ears fail to hear whatever he has to say. I only hear the pumping of blood inside my child’s chest. Who carries my blood and functions on it. My head turns towards the fool and drunken crowd, where I hear him. He is alive…alive still! after all these time. He is not yet visible though I know that God damned #Stefan better than anyone else.

“We’re leaving! “ #Klaus announces as soon as he finds the disturbed look in my eyes.

“ No “ a weak whisper , saddened with old wounds that are opening leaves my mouth. I slowly walk through the cheerful crowd. They are dancing their problems away and I follow his smell on the wine colored rug that continues to the front yard. There I smell something stronger…my blood still. With the arrogant voice that reaches my ears I come to realization that both #Salvatores are at my company without knowing it. #Damon leans forward aggressively as he opens the door to an Automobile. Slipping away from my fingers so easily.

“Come, pretty thing. We’re leaving “out of nowhere he is ordering me elsewhere. Away from my loves.

“Nein “a shaky whisper comes out of my parted lips, my orbs locked on #Stefan, His elegant clothing and his fine gesture.

“komm mit mir” Now the voice is demanding. His heart beat is racing, close to the pace of my own. He sees that my loyalty is fading away. I have never said /No/ to him. Villagers said he was the devil himself but I saw God in him. He said come with me about 5 centuries ago. He offered me what my Italian boys could have never sought. And I followed him through civilizations, we built and destroyed but not once has the thought of #Stefan and #Damon left my mind. No matter how sure I am of a hand that is pointing to the ground demanding my movement I stay still courageously. I am unwillingly repeating my words in my head trying to be brave enough to tell them to him. Finally a weak and neutral declare of love for #Stefan comes out “Er ist die große Liebe meines “

“ Love is weakness!” The words coming out of his mouth are hatefully played out. He keeps a low voice surely he doesn’t want #Stefan to notice us. “ And we are /not/ weak “

I ponder for a moment. Like I always have on love. Behind me stands the one who has given me everything and more… and in front of me…the love of my life. #Klaus sees me pondering and for a moment we both know I am about to refuse him. For a splendid moment…

A tear nearly falls off my cheek but I’m not weak. My opinion on the matter is final.

“komm mit mir” He whispers against my ear , extending his arms with the palm facing the dark sky. And once more I turn my back on love and place my hand within his. A satisfied smile forms on the corner of his lips and he takes me through the back door. I wanted to smile, I wanted to cry but instead I gave him a dead vacant stare and followed my creator home.

“ You’d be lonely without me “ He said the next day.

“ No” I responded. “ It’s you who will be alone without /me/ . You keep me close to fill the gap in your heart but you lack one. You...#Klaus are the loneliest creature I have ever met…and I feel sorry for you” On that note I left him downstairs and returned to my chambers. I heard him hum the same melody he has for five hundred years and I knew that we were the strongest creatures on earth yet we were weak and dead within.