marie

the paper forms lie on the coffee table, serving as the aching reminder why you're sat here. your heart is pumping hard, nerves pulsing through you.

"we are so cooked." ellie snorts below her breath. she looks at you. first at your fidgeting hands, then up at your neck, where untainted scent glands sit. the very tempting area that will bear her mark—if neither of you chicken out, that is. "are you really sure?"

you almost want to tell ellie to stop asking that. stop giving me chances to back out. it's baffling, because you've really never been so sure about anything in your life, and perhaps that's where your annoyance is coming from. you shouldn't want this so badly.

"we don't really have any other choice," you say instead, glancing back at ellie. her hands are shaking, fists clenched like she's fighting to keep them to herself. you gesture to the permission slips, then murmur, "i need my education."

"oh, yeah, i mean— i know. i just don't want you to regret... this."

"ellie— i— seriously. you're my best friend. i trust nobody else with such a heavy thing."

bonding.

in every way except physical, you may as well be ellie's already. your bond with her is the spawn of lifelong, unconditional care for each other. inseparable since kindergarten, even when attempts were made by school faculty.

you're delicate like an omega should be, only just a little too much. nobody was in favour of ellie coming along, getting the chance to influence you in all the wrong ways. but that's not what happened. rather, the opposite.

absolutely nobody expected you to soften her. society was accustomed to the idea that an alpha will only ruin an omega's purity. they mustn't connect without the intent to mate. but she did not ruin you, instead herself, in the pursuit of friendship.

truly, she didn't need softening. ellie was born with gentleness, and she lacked the confidence to be any other way. so you didn't soften her; what really happened, was that you made her feel comfortable the way she was.

the world tried. they tried to make her toughen. she's been through the push and shove, been beaten against lockers and called names. she's short for an alpha, she's calmer and quieter. ellie doesn't try to command a room. she doesn't bother to assert herself like the others do. she's just her.

because you like that.

ellie's had one constant in life and that was your camaraderie. your ever present compassion, your instinct to nurture, which led her to your arms when the bullying became too much. you iced countless black eyes and built nests she could nap in.

it's the silver lining for her. she's endured torturous belittling, but your loyalty and care was waiting for her after everything. she could submit to society and change herself—but that would cost her your admiration. and besides, ellie does have the natural alpha's urge to resist submission. why the hell would she blindly follow the crowd instead of doing her own thing?

she needed you, and now, you need her.

with the disadvantages you suffer from your secondary gender, you yearn for security. there's been a discomforting reality you've had to accept, and it is that the life you seek is near impossible.

motherhood is what is expected of you. and it's what you want. but the problem lies within the society you deal with. the future you dream of feels unsafe. unrealistic.

and hell, with an alpha like ellie as your best friend, your bar is high enough that you've accepted you won't find someone else to give you what you need.

so rises plan b: making your own living.

you can't rely on anyone else. you certainly don't want to rely on any alpha.

"okay, well, yeah." ellie gives a half-shrug in response, looking away when you look back at her. blush blooms fast across her freckles, the image of your neck burned into mind. "this is a huge decision. i just want you to be sure."

you said it before; you have no choice.

to get to college, you need an alpha's signature.

your parents were never going to approve this.

but ellie understands.

you showed up for ellie in her worst times. it's her turn to do the same for you.

"i'm more concerned that you'll be the one to regret this," you mumble. she tilts her head and you look away, avoiding eye contact. "you won't be able to mate in the future because of me."

"..no," ellie mutters. she laughs quietly in disbelief, by instinct putting a hand on your knee to pull you out of that silly line of thought. she quickly retracts her hand though, as if you shocked her. every touch is electrifying. "trust me. i don't need that. i need my best friend, and i need what's best for my best friend. you can't talk me out of this."

"okay," you whisper, gaze flicking back to her. she smiles, and you smile back, silent for a moment.

"but, you know, this doesn't change anything," ellie says. "like sure, i'm... responsible for you. but all it really means is... i'm gonna take good care of you. protect you and shit. i promise, dude."

dude. both of you snort at that, and it's quite possible that after so many years attached at the hip you are the same person, laughing for the same reasons and thinking the same thoughts. both knowing the word was thrown in to make something so serious seem casual, simple, and platonic.

still, your smile softens at her reassurances, and you act on the urge to encourage her the same way. "i know, els. i don't trust anyone else. i don't think anyone else could do this as well as you, either. but—just saying—this doesn't give you a free pass to get bossy."

"yeah." ellie's throat runs dry as you pat her arm, and she forces a laugh out. "i wouldn't dream of trying to boss you around, i promise. unless it's for your safety 'n shit, i dunno."

but inwardly she's purring, preening, that you trust her to own you. what you possibly don't understand is the interest she always had in supporting someone, having her own partner to care for, because she's never really shown that side of herself to you. she doesn't want to appear cocky or self-important.

this feels like receiving a six-figure job offer on a silver platter.

and sure, maybe somewhere deep down, ellie's always thought you were her own. she'd suppress that thought if ever it arose, because it goes against everything she has ever been proud of.

it's real, and it's a little hard not to be giddy over it now.

"so... how do we do this?" you ask, nervous giggling filling the room. ellie laughs too, shrugging her shoulders.

"uh... we bite each other?"

"obviously."

"shut up." ellie pokes your arm, then turns and angles her body to face yours a little more. "here, i'll go first, alright? you're completely sure? and it might hurt a little—"

you nod through everything, cutting ellie off with a wave of your hand and eyes rolling. "it won't hurt. nothing you do hurts."

ellie blinks dumbly, then shakes her head. "i have to bite hard. you know that, right?"

"well—" your gaze flits around the room and you shrug, mumbling in exasperation, "no."

ellie sighs. "let's get this over with."

you swallow thickly, pushing hair out of your neck and tilting your head for ellie's easier access. "mhm. and oh—because i know what you're like—yes, i'm sure."

she gives you a small chuckle in response, scooting closer. now her hands grip your shoulders and you're both trembling like leaves. "alright. cool. just relax for me."

her legs brush against yours, blue jeans on lace stockings, her lanky fingers baring your neck and warm breath hitting the skin. the feeling almost puts you to sleep, the familiarity of her scent hitting your nose at the close contact alleviates your worries within an instant. the shaking stops just as you register plump lips against your neck. this is safety.

and then she bites, teeth piercing your soft skin, and you startle like an animal. she was right, really, of course it would hurt. the scent glands are a sensitive place, and it takes a deep bite to leave one's mark behind.

you whisper a quiet curse and grip the couch cushion below you. meanwhile, ellie's mind has never felt so blank. what's overwhelming to her is the burst of smells and tastes she's getting just from this bite. her eyes are shut, but she feels you naturally leaning away, so she moves with you. you sink until you're laying on the couch in shock, ellie on top of you with teeth far into your neck.

it's not until she gets the faintest traces of blood on her tongue that she pulls away, satisfied with the new aroma that wafts off of you. there's some of her mixed in now. beneath your vanilla and rose, there's musky rain and wildflower. it's hers. you're hers.

ellie lightly washes over the area with her tongue before pulling away completely. you sit up, brows upturned and a whine already leaving your lips. "dude, ow."

she snorts. "i told you, it was going to hurt. i'm sorry."

"i think you're just kind of a dickhead," you mutter, rubbing over the spit-slicked skin with your hand. "i'm not planning to bite you that hard."

"uh, you have to," ellie says, "or the mark's not gonna take."

she's tilting her head, eyes focused incessantly where your hand covers her mark. she knows she shouldn't be, but she's aching to admire her work.

"you have to bite hard, okay?" she tells you, biting back a grin. shouldn't be this fucking excited. she feels ugly for it.

"that will make me feel bad," you reply. you huff, looking down at your lap with an amused smile.

"it's payback," ellie offers. "come on. do i have to get you to do this out of spite?"

"yeah, guess so." you look back at her and laugh. "can't back out halfway through the process."

"exactly. now come here and, uh, do the thing," ellie encourages, of course, as eloquently as ever.

you move until you brush against her again, eyes catching freckled skin. you cup her cheek, leaning in and letting instinct take over as your teeth brush her scent glands. you take a bite, puncturing the skin as deeply as possible.

her hand flies to your thigh, taking a tight grip. her eyes fall heavy. but it doesn't hurt for ellie, rather she feels a very pleasant tingling. it's enough to get a low groan from her, which you take to be one of pain. ellie wouldn't ever tell you otherwise. she doesn't want to, especially when you press an apologetic kiss to the spot before parting from it.

"well... holy shit," you say, breaking the tension with a giggle. "we did it."

"yeah," ellie breathes. she's still for another few seconds, then snaps into action as soon as she's more awake to the pressure between her thighs. she is so fucking hard that she feels faint. blood rushing to her cock, and to her cheeks. "should we— um, should we get started on your application now?"

ellie's voice is weak, and she keeps her hand placed strategically over her belt so your attention won't be drawn to the bulge in her jeans. and so she can palm at it every so often, try and relieve some of the pressure.

"yeah," you murmur, none the wiser as you pass ellie the permission slip.

her breath is almost taken away at the sheer awkwardness of her situation. she's hard, and she really shouldn't be—she feels like a piece of shit—and you're handing her this dystopian piece of paper so she can sign your right to an education.

your enthusiasm at which you fill in your own side of the application is endearing though. it's something of security and certainty that fills your movements now. ellie watches you for a moment, feeling a renewed determination. this is her omega now.

and it pains her not to be able to voice these feelings. it pains her to have thought about you the way she always has. but ellie can't help it; this is her omega, and she's going to take care of you. she has what she's always wanted, and she couldn't be more pleased with it being you.

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