I Wish to Live a Lavish Life for eternity

Excuse me if I’m not in my typical talkative mood– fighting a nasty headache.

You’ve left me with no choice but to do all the talking.

Tiberius continued to pack, seemingly ignoring the red-head. He couldn’t pinpoint the myriad of emotions he was feeling, he didn’t know exactly what he was upset about– just that he was. As he listened to Eloise, he slowly stopped what he was doing, lifting his blue gaze to her. “I fell in love with someone that showed me who they really were and not their front, Eloise, you are more than this ‘psycho maniac’ that you claim to be. You have just lost sight of that,” Tiberius said with a sad shake of his head, placing another item in the bag, “you were my first friend after what happened to me and I moved here, you were the first to join my coven and make your home with me. I loved you after a time because I got to know you– who you were, but right now? I don’t know who you are. Maybe I don’t exactly know who I am, myself.” Tiberius straightened up, closing the bag he was packing it and placing it on the floor. When times were simpler, he enjoyed travelling; keeping all of the travelling tags in a secure box as a memento. Now that things were imploding, he hasn’t been able to leave– it was suffocating. “Maybe I am not fit to be a leader. I cannot be the strong hand this coven needs, nor do I want to be someone that keeps you on a leash– you and your incessant need of doing things your way without any regard to how it reflects on yourself or your coven drive me mad at times. You willingly place yourself in danger with the council painting a target on the town– they will have no problem going after you. I just have no idea what I am doing anymore, so I am going to have to take this a step at a time. I need to keep this town from being destroyed, and then if I get through this– we will need to assess what we are.”

The silence was agony. Perhaps, Eloise would have preferred if he verbally responded with a raised voice or displayed his anger in any other way than he currently was. Instead, Tiberius nearly waved away the redhead’s words, exhaustion etching every muscle in his body and coating the air in the room between them. Eloise thought nothing could break their friendship, could send the pair hurdling over the cliff with as much gusto as fate allowed, but she was the one giving the final push. The council held its own sliver of responsibility, their actions pining for the destruction button to Killgrove Hills, truer than true, though her actions prompted the last straw to create this fissure between Tiberius and herself. A hunger pang for interjecting during the winding course of his spiel gripped at Ellie’s internal subconscious, yet, she remained silent even as he all but proclaimed a hiatus in their intimate relationship. Not a single tragedy on this earth had gutted the vampire the most. “The years have not been kind to me, Tibs. I did lose sight of who I am and I do not know how to bring her back for you. She’s still there somewhere, I can feel her struggling, but I’ve grappled with this identity for decades and you are one of few who could find her again.” Eloise couldn’t locate the right phrases to proclaim, shocking for a vampire who was quick on her feet with every quip in the dictionary. Instead, she crossed the room towards the bed, her hands reaching out to cease the man’s hands from packing, “The thought of watching everything we have built together, our home, our coven, the people we’ve befriended, blown to cinder and ash terrified me, Tiberius. I’m scared. And you hold the power to whisk the fear away as only a leader can. There’s a reason why I never began this coven on my own, it’s because I couldn’t do it without you. Without my best friend, who I see is still there somewhere behind the rage and a desire to forgo the fighting. No one here doubts your ability as a leader, Tibs.” Her hands lifted to cup his face in her palms, their eyes locking, “What we are is complicated and maybe hinging on toxic. If I am dragging you down, dragging our family down, then you do what is best for yourself and for them. You said yourself, I’m endangering everyone.” Eloise’s fingers traced the vampire’s jaw before she dropped them entirely, “That is how much I love you.”

Spencer could tell Eloise was anxious, even without the ability to hear her heartbeat. There were very subtle nuances that can betray nerves, and hearing her fingers play with her sleeves was a good indicator. “I think it’s because you very rarely allow others to see your true self, the one that I got to know,” Spencer offered, feeling her arm until he reached her hand, taking it gently in his– holding it there. It’s something that he and Olivia would do when they were younger– especially when he was feeling nervous or anxious. It was the best way to anchor himself to someone; hoping that it helped quell the woman’s anxieties as it did for him all those years ago. “I would have envied the vampire life when I was younger– pack dynamic is very strict when you can’t exactly pull your own weight,” Spencer said quietly before giving a small grin, “usually the best advice comes from ones own personal experiences.”

Eloise would have risen from her seat and paced a literal indent into the carpet had she been in anyone else’s company but Spencer’s, but he became a rock solid weight holding the vampire to earth. Coaxing the good right out of her with no effort on his part. “And allow the rest see what a mess I have warped into? How my poor previous reputation weeps.” She turned her head to the side, feeling his fingers smoothly glide along her arm and encapsulate her fidgeting hand, stopping the nervous ticks almost immediately. Ellie’s digits threaded his with the same gentleness he offered, moving to find a comfortable position before resting her head on Spencer’s shoulder. “Had you and I met years prior, Spence, I would have provided the bite on a silver platter knowing the freedom you’d gain joining a coven. You pull your weight in covens, true, but nothing on the level of packs. We look out for one another and...operate as a unit.” She could hear the smile gracing his lips, never stopping the grin stretching hers, “Do my ears deceive me or are you a man in love, Van Warren?”

I do hate being bored.

Well, wherever you feel comfortable. Whether it be the end, middle, or beginning. Wherever you decide to start, you will probably find it difficult to stop.

What’s next on your list, coming to bother me some more?

You enjoy when I bother you deep down, Cal Pal.

Spencer listened as the woman spoke, much as he always did. He was the ear, the mediator, the advisor to his pack. At first, his talks with Eloise was him doing his job– forging a friendship between his kind and others in order to aide his pack, but there was something beneath the ‘seductive torturess’ that was Eloise’s mask. One that he found after many of their talks. He gave a small smile at the woman’s confession, “you are kinder than most of my kind then, Eloise. My own kind turned me and my sister away after our pack was killed just because of me. My sister, being as she is, refused to leave my side even if it meant that she may never find a home. Yet, you… you saw something in me that so many other people refused to see.” He pursed his lips as he collected his thoughts before turning to where the woman sat, “Tiberius is the only one who has the answers on why he does or doesn’t do things, especially in regards to you. Despite how much you think you are a burden to him. Everyone does things that others don’t understand when it comes to the people they love.”

You’re right, I don’t exactly have the energy or patience right now.

You have ten minutes.

Then I’ll be as quick as I can make this before you’re due on your trip.

Eloise, let me tell you that I’m not sick of your ‘bitching and moaning’ because I don’t see it like that. We are friends, and I’m here for you. Let me tell you something else, you have a selfish streak, but you aren’t 100% make up of only selfishness. You’ve befriended a wolf, who vampires are notorious to not get along with, and not only that but I’m one of the oddest ones. You could have made fun of me. You could have not given me the time of day and see me as less than a human, yet you speak to me on equal footing as yourself.

We are friends, and I’m not lying about that. You make bad mistakes, we all do. Doesn’t mean that he sees you the way you think he does. I don’t.

“And why is that, exactly, hm?” Eloise huffed a long sigh and turned her head away, hoping she might have found her answer from anything contained within that room. “Why am I, notorious as I am for not having friends, found one in a werewolf of all people?” Her gaze settled on Spencer. Why, indeed, when she has never wasted an opportunity to belittle the wolves and show them her greatest disgust. “I think I’m figuring out the reason why. There is something about you, Spencer, with the hand you’ve been given and the pain you have carried that reminds me of myself. Of who I was. And maybe who I should or want to be.” Ellie swept her arms in a defeated shrug. She was growing soft, everything she detested sometimes, but she couldn’t stop the dam from breaking. “I couldn’t bring myself to-” She sighed once again, “To ever poke fun at your blindness maliciously.” The redhead’s gaze dropped to her shoes briefly, “He should. I haven’t made his life easy.”

I do enjoy the process of writing down ones life– seeing the intricacies of their life and chronicling it.

If you are serious, I will help.

So unentertained that you resort to meddling in another’s affairs. If that is not so me.

But in the end, you released the Neumann boy. It’s what Tiberius wanted, so I don’t think that it costed your entire relationship with him… things can be fixed. I don’t have a magical answer on what it will take, but it will take time.

Well, it certainly isn’t not on the rocks either. He all but thinks I’m selfish who can’t see past my bubble of whatever I am and I am shocked anyone can stand being friends with me. besides, you’re likely sick of little me coming to you bitching and moaning.

Sure…

You sound upset, Elle, are you okay?

No. No, not really.

Me time equals writing time. Call it a memoir, I guess.

Would you care to scribe mine? I’d adore reading a book of myself.

Are you alright? You look… troubled?

Troubled? Little old me? That isn’t a word in my vocabulary, sweetheart.

Don’t be afraid to swing at the blind guy, I’ll be able to feel it coming a mile away.

You know I don’t play nice with others, sugar.

Changing a mindset is a tough habit to break, especially one that you’ve felt for so long– I know. I think the important thing is that you acknowledge that there is something wrong, and it’s better late than never.

Take it from me, who had to deal with a very drastic change in my life with my blindness. You learn to take it in strides and find yourself– you may not know who you are right now, but the thing is? You have time and if we all make through the impending doom of the council– then you have all of eternity to figure it out. It doesn’t have to be all at once.

Isn’t this me acknowledging something is wrong with you right now, pookie?