home at last.

october 27th, 2005 12:45PM

“get up, birthday boy!” a pleasant voice disturbs a young elliot cameron from his slumber, his eyes flickering open to see his mother and younger sister crowding up his small bedroom. he shifts uncomfortably under the covers, sliding down underneath them so that he’s able to return to being alone. “ten years old today! when is my baby boy going to stop growing?” mrs. cameron thinks out loud, heading out of her sons room once she realizes he’s finally waking up. beatie remains, however, climbing onto his bed and sitting on his middle. 

“daddy says we’re going someplace fun today.” beatie says, eyes wide with excitement. “he said he’s even going to let me pick out a stuffed animal!”

“great, beatie. now get off of me.” elliot groans, shuffling his legs underneath his several blankets so his sister will move. he’s about to shove her off of the bed when he hears his mother and father begin shouting in the other room, which causes elliot to freeze and listen. the dislike between his parents had been growing again for some time. it had seemed like over the past couple of years things had started to get better between the two of them, but they always had their days when they weren’t able to keep their voices down. of course, they had to begin going at it again on elliot’s birthday. he eyes beatie, still sitting on him, wondering if she’s trying to figure out what they’re so upset about too. elliot sits up, pulling his sister down onto the bed beside him, hopefully to distract her from their parents fighting. “do you know where he said we’re going?” he asks, getting out of bed and heading to his closet to start getting dressed. 

“no!” beaite says, giggling. “he just said that--”

the door to his parents room slams shut, the pounding sounds of his fathers footsteps echoing as he heads towards the kitchen, creating a ripple effect of silence throughout the tiny cameron home. there’s a noticeable look of discomfort in beatrice’s eyes, which sends elliot into a bit of a panic, worried that his sister may be about to have an epic meltdown over their parents arguing. it wouldn’t be the first time, and definitely not the first time it was about to come at the most inopportune time. he’s right, as tears brim in his younger sisters eyes, and she jumps off of the bed, sprinting to her bedroom, burying her head into her pillow, elliot’s mother chasing after her. 

this prompts the uneasy birthday boy to finish getting ready, pulling on a cushy red sweatshirt and his jean jacket, shivering a little as he still feels a little chilly underneath all his layers. after getting dressed, he peeks into beatie’s room, watching for a moment as their mother is sitting on the bed, attempting to comfort a nearly hysterical beatrice. this is the norm whenever mr. and mrs. cameron have their fights: elliot’s little sister will burst into a panic, certain that their father will react in ways he had previously when he’d been so angry at one of them. it had only happened once, elliot’s father actually hitting him, but it was engrained in his younger sisters memory, from what it seemed. ever since the incident three years ago, the fighting between his parents started to come to an end, little quarrels popping up less and less. it was the unfortunate action that had prompted mr. cameron to change, though it would most likely never change the opinion his son and daughter would have of him.

elliot passes through the living room, quickly arriving in the kitchen, as their home was one that some would say was cozy. “dad, can i bring jag?” elliot asks, elbows on the kitchen counter as he watches his father packing lunch for the four of them. 

“no, eli. i can barely afford to take you and your sister out today.” mr. cameron grumbles, reaching for a mason jar to fill up with elliot’s favorite drink: cherry lemonade. elliot shifts back and forth on his feet, trying to figure out how to convince his father to let him bring his one and only friend. zipping up the lunch bag, mr. cameron throws it over his shoulder and heads out to the front yard to pop it into the car.

“i bet jag’s parents can pay for him.” elliot offers, following his father out front to the truck. “i mean, it is my birthday. i bet they would even pay for me if i asked.” elliot mentions, which earns a glare from his father.

“drop it, eli. you can’t bring jagger.”

the boy scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. “what do you mean i can’t bring jagger? isn’t this my birthday we’re celebrating? i can’t even bring my best friend?” the boy pleas, brows knitted together as he tries to understand his fathers reasoning. there’s no explanation, as elliot’s father growls at him to grab his sister and get settled into the truck. hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans, elliot sulks back into his house to grab his younger sister, who he isn’t surprised to find she’s still having a temper tantrum in her bedroom, shouting at their mother that she doesn’t want to go to the aquarium, and that she doesn’t care that it’s her older brothers birthday. 

it only takes a couple of seconds for elliot to realize that he’s not in the mood for this anymore. it didn’t matter that it was his birthday -- it had been ruined by his parents actions, and there wasn’t going to be anything that was going to shake beatie from the headspace she was now in. all that could be done was to let it all go, and the young boy decided the best option was to go hide under the covers in his bedroom. he marches down the short hallway, heading into his room and shutting his door far harder than he’d intended to, the door shutting with a loud SLAM, earning a screech from his little sister in her bedroom across the hallway and a shout from his father. quickly, elliot’s fingers twist the lock, giving himself the impression of safety as he’s now frozen in fear as he can hear mr. cameron’s roaring footsteps make their way down towards the end of the hall, to elliot’s door. the boy stands a few feet away from it, hands balled into fists at his sides as he hears his father knock forcefully against the wooden door.

“the fuck is wrong with you, elliot?” mr. cameron’s voice echoes, knocking again. “i go out of my way and arrange a trip out for your tenth birthday and you’re going to go against what i tell you to do, and fucking slam my doors? you ungrateful little shit. sometimes i wonder why i bother with the two of you.” 

“what’s the point? i can’t bring jagger, beatie is freaking out -- thanks to you, by the way -- and you and mom don’t actually give a shit about the fact that it’s my birthday -- you feel obligated to do this !!” he shouts through the door, his eyes immediately darting to the doorknob as his father frantically attempts to open it, demanding elliot open the door before he breaks it down. it only takes a couple of seconds for the now ten year old to unlock the door and take two steps backwards as his father comes bounding into the bedroom, followed behind by his mother who appears extremely concerned. 

red in the face, mr. cameron is staring his son down, giving him the look that elliot has grown to recognize as you really think you have a choice? and while usually it would cause elliot to snap out of whatever it was that was causing him to want to disobey his father, this time, he’d been desperate to handle things differently. the boy backs up slightly, his legs hitting his bed frame -- falling backwards until he’s sitting, crossing his arms over his chest.

“what, dad? are you going to hit me? on my birthday? i thought we were past all this.” his tone starts off sarcastic at first, but as the thought of his father actually choosing to punish him physically today crept up in his head, his haughty tone sinks into one of worry. the comment is enough to soften his father’s irritated expression. there’s an uncomfortable silence between the two of them, a pause from his father who is usually so eager to throw back a pissed off retort. elliot blinks, wondering if his father actually is going to take a step towards him and do something, but what he does instead surprises elliot even more. 

“okay, eli. you don’t want to go out on your birthday? fine. you can stay here. be disengaged from this family. the rest of us are going out.” mr. cameron turns away from his son, grabbing the doorknob and pulling the door shut on his son as he exits without another word. the voice of his sister wailing down the hallway can be heard as elliot just stares his bedroom door down. the house shakes for just a second as the front door is slammed, and soon after his father’s truck rumbles down his street, and elliot is left alone, uncomfortable, and disappointed on his birthday, and unfortunately... this is not the first time this has happened. 

october 27th, 2008 12:30PM

          it’s bad enough that his family has insisted on making his birthday a big deal, though they’re aware elliot is not a big fan of it in the first place, but add in the fact that his only friend has moved away, leaving him surrounded at a party full of friends he doesn’t really like, and awakening to the voices of his mother and father shouting at each other ( which had unfortunately become an often occurance once again ). maybe it’s because he’s turning thirteen and there’s something exceptionally moody about becoming a teenager after years of wanting to grow up and get out, but he especially doesn’t want to get out of bed today. it’s another milestone. ten years old, that birthday ( and the whole year, really, aside from the camping trip he’d taken with jagger that summer ) had been a disaster; he’d been expecting something to go wrong, but boy, had elliot underestimated what would truly happen. 

he’s hiding under his bedsheets until beatie comes strolling into his bedroom like she always has. she’s older now, and so is he, which is what prompts him to say: “you know, according to the social construct that says i’m a teenager, i deserve some form of privacy, and i’d really like it if you could knock in the future, beatie.” elliot says grumpily, rolling over in his bed to face the wall. in moments he can feel her sitting cross legged at the edge of his bed. “you know we’re too big to both sit on this thing now.”

“you are being such a downer. it’s your birthday, eli! you know it’s your birthday, right? you’re supposed to be happy.” beatrice huffs, her hands gripping his legs and moving them back and forth, trying to get his attention. 

“says who? i can feel however i want to feel.” elliot says, giving in and moving to sit up -- mostly because beatrice has made the bed rather uncomfortable by sitting on it with him. “and i feel like you’re being pretty fucking annoying, as per usual.” he regrets saying it instantly once he sees the disappointed frown on his younger sisters face. she knows that he doesn’t like his birthday though, and he really hates that she’s playing along with the little facade his parents are attempting to put up, pretending like this day is some huge, extravagant event. he didn’t understand -- it was only his thirteenth birthday. it wasn’t like it was supposed to have some huge impact on his life.  

“you’re only a teenager now, eli. you know dad says you can’t use the f word until you’re a grown up. don’t think i’m going to just ignore that because we’re in private!” she says in a sing song voice, irritably getting off of elliot’s bed and hurrying back to the door. “your party starts in an hour, so like, get dressed.” 

he hasn’t realized that he’s been able to sleep in until he looks over at the clock and comes to find it’s already past noon. groaning, the boy makes his way to the closet, picking out a yellow sweater, black jeans and his denim jacket, laying them out on his bed before being lucky enough to get in the shower before the rest of his family had used up all of the hot water that day. it’s there, in his steamy, relaxing shower that elliot really has to think about his actions for the day. he gets that it’s his birthday, but does he really want to give in to what his parents want and be their happy teenage boy, when in reality their family is starting to crumble? mr. and mrs. cameron couldn’t even go half of his birthday without getting into some kind of disagreement that led to shouting, so how could he go on acting as though everything were fine? when he finishes up his shower and dresses in the outfit he’s picked out for himself, he steps out into the gloomy cameron house, wondering how on earth they’re supposed to be having a party here. he looks out the window, a deep, long, annoyed sigh slips from elliot’s lips as he sees their front yard decked out in streamers and balloons, blowing around in the october breeze. a hand suddenly slaps elliot’s back from behind, his father gripping his shoulder roughly and pulling him in for a hug. 

“what’s that pissed off sigh for, kid? not grateful for what your mom’s doing for you?” mr. cameron says, and elliot attempts to forgo a reaction, squirming in his fathers grasp. 

“not really into the idea of the whole neighborhood watching my birthday party. especially since i don’t want a party in the first place, which i’m pretty sure i made clear many, many times.” elliot grumbles, finally getting loose of his father and crossing his arms over his chest defensively. “you’re always complaining that we don’t have enough money, why do you want to waste your money on this?” elliot should’ve known it was the wrong question to ask, because the dark expression that took his father’s face made elliot’s backbone shiver. 

“enough of this shit, elliot. i’m tired of you not appreciating what your mother and i are doing for you. no more doom n’ fuckin’ gloom, okay? go find you mom and see if she needs any help setting up.” mr. cameron orders, pointing out to the front yard where mrs. cameron was rushing around trying to catch streamers that had blown onto the ground. elliot’s eyes flicker between the scene out the window, and his father looking serious. it takes a lot in elliot to not roll his eyes before walking out the front door to assist his mother.

she’s relieved to see he’s woken up and is ready to celebrate, despite the negative look on his face that he just can’t seem to try to hide. he loves his mother, but he just can’t fake the happiness for her when he knows that this whole thing is some kind of act, maybe for the neighbors, maybe for elliot and beatie, and maybe even for herself. mrs. cameron has elliot take care of some of the snack preparations: setting up the table with cups and plates, and carrying out the jug of cherry lemonade -- elliot’s favorite. if there was one thing he was looking forward to at this party he was forced to be the guest of honor at, it was the cherry lemonade, and the cherries jubilee ice cream cake he had been promised. it isn’t long after elliot has chips and brownies and other birthday treats set up on the table before some of elliot’s classmates begin arriving. they seem unimpressed almost immediately, the simple fact that the cameron family was poor was now very much on display for those who knew elliot ( he would use that word very loosely, knowing that deep down he wouldn’t consider any of these people actual friends. that word was reserved for those who really mattered ). of course, everyone was aware of the fact that elliot came from a bad neighborhood and that his house was cramped and his clothes were always thrifted, and while he and beatie were often picked on for this, there was a certain crowd that seemed to just kind of ignore the fact that he wasn’t as wealthy as the rest of them. that group consisted mostly of the kids at elliot’s thirteenth birthday party, however after the party, the same crowd just felt like it was too difficult to be around him. 

the party didn’t consist of much, and it really didn’t last very long. it was forty past one when all of the guests had finished arriving, and after thirty minutes of listening to current hits on the radio and everyone making forced small talk, elliot’s mother bursts into a panic, realizing that due to the fight between herself and mr. cameron that morning, she had forgotten to pick up elliot’s cake. in hopes of the lack of cake being a reason for the party to end earlier than scheduled, and because he wasn’t surprised to find that something was going wrong, elliot attempts to persuade his mother that she can just forget about it, that it’s really not that big of a deal.

“it is, eli. it’s your favorite. it’s your thirteenth birthday. i’m going to get your cake.” mrs. cameron says confidently, and she’s already got her purse slung over her shoulders and car keys in hand. she turns to her husband, giving him a dirty look before grabbing beatrice’s hand and tugging her in the direction of the car. “c’mon, beatie, you can come get it with me.”

“mom, honestly, i really don’t want it. please just stay here.”  elliot says desperately, knowing that his father is going to protest elliot’s words. he does, stepping beside elliot and placing his grip on his shoulder again. “stop --” he mutters, struggling to get out of his dad’s grasp again. “it’s not a big deal. it’s cold out anyway, c’mon i-i don’t want you and beatie to go, okay?”

“nonsense, leila. go get the cake. elliot needs to blow out the candles and make a wish.” mr. cameron forcefully moves elliot out of the direction of his mother and sister piling into the old camry and quickly driving down the street. “you’re going to wish you had a better attitude, elliot.” his father grumbles, “didn’t i tell you to cut this crap? stop disrespecting your mother and let her treat you.”

thirty minutes pass, and at first nobody seems to care. maybe there’s traffic, a fuckup with the cake, or something like that, but once it hits an hour, elliot starts to panic. he’s barely even focused on this party, hardly involved at all aside from a few brief conversations with his classmates, but other than that, all he can give his attention to is the fact that it has been an hour since his mother and sister have left the party, and there is no sign of their return anytime soon. an answer comes eight minutes later, the phone inside the house ringing loudly next to the window, mr. cameron taking a quick break from surveying the party to answer it, and it’s there that the real birthday disappointment kicks in. 

“eli, party’s over. there’s been an accident.” mr. cameron says, eyeing the guests. “tell everyone they have to leave.” for the most part, given mr. cameron’s loud voice, a majority of the party-goers had heard, but of course, elliot had to be the one to tell everyone they had to leave and make everything awkward. 

elliot huffs, not thinking much of it at first. “seriously? why do i have to do it? what happened, what kind of accident?” mr. cameron’s expression had reached a new level of grim. he looked hopeless, knowing that if he hadn’t encouraged mrs. cameron to go out to get the cake, just to spite elliot’s bad attitude towards the party, there wouldn’t have been an accident in the first place. the first thing that hits the man’s mind is how desperately he’s in need of a drink, and honestly, elliot can see that in his eyes.

“beatie’s in a coma. i... i don’t know about your mother. the car skidded off the road and that’s all i know. we need to get the fuck down there, so yes, seriously, you do have to do it. and do it now, tell all your little friends to get a ride home. this is an emergency.”  mr. cameron says finally, his tone exasperated as he looks over to the guests, and then turns immediately back into the house to gather his keys and a few other essential paperwork. 

it’s then that elliot is forced to do one of the most humiliating tasks he’d experienced so far: explaining to everyone that the party was now cut short, and while it was because of the lack of cake, it was lacking a little bit more, now. he can’t really focus on telling everyone, though. all that’s on his mind is how terrible of a brother he feels like now. did beatie know how much he loved her? he’d left it on a note that at the time had seemed just like playful sibling banter, but now... felt like a weight sitting on top of his heart, hindering it from beating properly. what if those were the last words he ever spoke to her? no -- NO, he couldn’t believe that. he had to think positively. he couldn’t think negatively, no, to the point where he felt as though to go to the hospital was to accept the negative outcome. if elliot stayed behind, there was probably a better chance of things being okay, anyway. if it hadn’t been his birthday, there wouldn’t have been any need for cake, or celebrating, or any of this shit. once he’s told everyone to get the fuck out, even though nearly everyone had heard mr. cameron’s explanation of what was going on with mrs. cameron and elliot’s sister, he heads back inside of the house, finally able to let tears out once he’s alone. 

he’s not alone for very long, mr. cameron bursting into the living room from his bedroom and staring at elliot who looks as though he’s about to collapse on the area rug. 

“get yourself together, we’ve got to go to the hospital.”

“no... i... i want to stay here. i’m only going to make things worse.” the boy throws himself down onto the couch, putting his head into his hands. “this is my fault, my stupid birthday... i begged them not to go...” elliot can’t see it with his face covered, but mr. cameron is scowling, feeling as though his son is trying to make a point that he had in fact egged them on in going. this isn’t elliot’s point at all, but because of it, mr. cameron grunts and makes his way across the house towards the front door, swinging it open. he doesn’t want to listen to his son make him feel any worse about what he already thinks is his own fault, so he’s going to give him just what he thinks he wants for his birthday: loneliness. 

“this shit isn’t your fault, elliot, but you are going to make things worse, so fuck it. stay here. i hope your sister wakes up tonight and you aren’t by her side. i’m sure she’ll be thrilled about that.” his words are almost enough to make elliot reconsider, get to his feet and follow miserably behind his dad, but it feels like his shoes have been glued to the floor, and in a flash the front door is shut and locked behind him, and elliot is left to drown alone in another terrible birthday. 

october 27th, 2013 7:20PM

         elliot had been correct in assuming he wasn’t going to get any sleep the night before, finding himself staring at the ceiling for the most part. there had been a couple of times where he’d blinked, and thought maybe he’d knocked out for a few minutes, but he couldn’t be one hundred percent sure. when the sun started peaking through his blinds, he felt glad knowing he’d made it through the night without self destructing. it was probably six a.m, only another eighteen hours to survive. this year, the twenty-seventh fell on a friday, and elliot had no intentions of heading to school, not wanting to risk his teachers knowing of his birthday and announcing it to the class. he was also sure that their school counselor, ms larsen would call him into her office, wanting to make sure that he had support on such a hard day for him. he’d skipped the last four years, and he wasn’t about to switch things up just because his life was starting to shift in a more positive direction. elliot was sure he was going to get a text message from his new ( and very first ) girlfriend, curious as to where he was. it was unlike him now, after the two had been spending so much time together over the past week, to disconnect from her without much word. he’d heard his phone buzz on his nightstand a couple times, not wanting to get out from underneath his covers to check to see if it was adisyn or not. besides, even if it was her, he didn’t know what to say. oh, sorry, it’s just my birthday and i can’t leave my bed today. yeah, right, like that wouldn’t worry her more.

elliot found himself leaving his bed only once, after hearing the front door shut and his fathers truck zooming off down the road. he needed silence, the comfort of being alone on his birthday, and there was no way he was going to step outside of his bedroom if his father was at home. he’d gone to the bathroom, and in the kitchen to get a glass of water and take his meds, glancing at the clock on the stove and noticing that another six hours had passed. only twelve more hours of his least favorite day to go. although he knew that checking his phone would cause him to want to reach out to adisyn, he did so anyways, his heart felt a twinge of guilt, knowing from her messages that he was definitely causing concern when it came to ignoring her. deciding that he could explain himself tomorrow, elliot turned his phone off and stuffed it into his nightstand drawer, hiding back underneath the covers once again. time continued to pass rapidly, and inside his head, his thoughts were whispering it’s all your fault, this was all your fault. however, he managed to keep his cool by forcing himself to imagine adisyn curled up beside him in a booth at lenny’s, or the two of them enjoying their bookclub by the pond. she helped combat the dark memories, and elliot started to wonder if maybe he had the wrong idea shutting her out on this day. his stomach growling, elliot decided to turn his phone back on to see how many more hours he had to endure of his gloomy holiday. school was long over, now, and he’d received several more worrisome text messages from his girl, and even a phone call with a voicemail attached. elliot wished he could bring himself to listen to her voice, distressed over him, but he decided not to torture himself further.

the sunlight that had been shining through the cracks in his blinds was starting to dim, the day fading into the evening, and elliot was pleasantly surprised to find that he’d made it through almost the entire day without going through his old journals, antagonizing himself with terrible memories, like he’d done in years past. continuing to keep his thoughts on his beautiful girlfriend, imagining her strawberry blonde hair tied up in a ponytail, the way her eyes lit up when he said her name, to the delicious scent that she gave off. he was sure his imagination was getting the better of him, though, because for a second he thought he’d heard her voice calling his name from outside his window. elliot attempted to ignore it, sure that it had been a hallucination, though he recalled that he had taken his meds earlier that day. the voice continued to call out to him, so he decided to investigate, getting out from underneath the covers and peaking out his blinds. to his surprise, and dismay, there adisyn gray stood, a relieved look in her eyes to see him all right. elliot threw a thumb over his shoulder, gesturing to the front door where he would let her in. part of him was extremely glad to see her, knowing that in his stupid sorrow, there adisyn would be to bring light into his dreadful day. even though he felt embarrassed, knowing he probably looked terrible, having not gotten any sleep, and from spending the whole day hiding underneath his covers, he went straight to the door, pulling adisyn into a tight embrace once he’d opened it. “are you psychic, adisyn gray?” elliot asks wearily, a small smile on his lips. “you knew i needed you here, and i didn’t even have to say anything.” sighing, the pessimistic boy takes adisyn’s hand, tugging her into his house and shutting the door behind them.

“i know sorry won’t be enough. ignoring you all day was an extremely shitty thing of me to do, but…” he drifts off, letting out a deep sigh. “today is, um…” he starts, lifting his free hand that wasn’t holding onto adisyn’s to rub the back of his neck. “today is my eighteenth birthday.” elliot admits, swallowing hard. adisyn was now one of the few people in his life who knew of the date, and she was definitely the only person he knew he trusted when it came to telling her about it. he avoids her gaze, looking at her maroon doc martens and biting his bottom lip. “please don’t make a big deal of it, okay? it’s not something to celebrate.” elliot tells her, knowing that the concerned look he gauged from her big, brown eyes. 

there isn’t much of a response from her at first. she looks concerned, and eager for answers, but elliot can tell that she’s biting her tongue, trying not to ask him too many questions all at once. it seems as though she finally settles on one, squeezing his hand and taking a step closer to him. “eli, are you okay?” she asks, and he’s really unsure of how he wants to answer. he is definitely not okay, but with her around, he feels somehow better -- which, consequently, makes him feel absolutely worse, knowing that this isn’t a day where he should ever feel anything good. elliot shakes his head, feeling adisyn squeeze his hand once again. “here, let’s go to your room.”

she’s only been inside his home once before, but she takes him down the hallway like she’s been there a million times in the past, closing the door to his very small bedroom and making herself comfortable on his bed, patting the space next to her. 

“did you want to talk about it?” she asks finally as he sits beside her, her voice very quiet, knowing the perfect way to treat him when he’s not feeling his happiest. “you don’t have to, but i’m here, and i care.”

elliot is quiet and fidgety at first, knowing that the only people he’s ever shared this story with are his school counselor and his therapist ( and jagger, though it had been in written form, making it far easier ), never someone who really cared for him, and could possibly leave the second he finished speaking of it. adisyn didn’t seem like someone who would do that, though -- they’d formed a bit of trust over the past week, the two bonding over the abuse they’d received growing up, and after elliot had rescued her outside of the diner it was like the two were mean’t to protect each other. elliot swallows, letting out a very shaky breath. all the signs of his anxiety were present: the anxious foot tapping that she’d become accustomed to, the picking at his fingernails ( she snatches his hands in hers to stop it, though ), and the doomed look in his eyes were telling her more than he’d hoped. “god, it’s really hard to tell anyone this... i... know i’ve mentioned beatie to you, my sister. that room? across the hall? with the lock -- that was beatie’s room... nobody has been inside of it in five years. five years ago... today, on my fucking stupid birthday... she...she...” elliot’s voice croaks, and tears immediately start to pour down his cheeks, unable to get the words out. adisyn’s grip on his hands stays, moving slightly closer to him in case he’d needed a shoulder to lean on. “my mom and dad had been fighting that morning, and she’d forgotten to go pick up the birthday cake... i insisted.. no, i begged her to forget about it, leave it at baskin robbins but she wouldn’t listen... she took beatie with her, and i never saw them ever again... except for beatie, in a coma, three days later... and then she passed away on halloween. i lost my mother and my sister because they went to go and do something nice for me... i’m... cursed, addie.” elliot says darkly, looking up to her with sad, red, tear strained eyes. he feels as though he’s dropped a pretty big bombshell on her, and really, at this point, she knows almost everything about him. the majority of his past is now in the palm of her hand, given that he felt he had to explain the violent days he’d spent in middle school and his bipolar disorder diagnosis when they’d first made things official, the night elliot saved her at lenny’s. elliot shifts his gaze back down to their hands, shaking his head lowly. “and, you know, every day this week when i think of you driving home down these streets in bumblebee, i get this anxious, overwhelming feeling that something bad is going to happen to you... i can’t help it... it’s just... i’m certain i’m cursed, and those who care about me are goners... i’m petrified that you could be next.”

there’s a silence between them for a minute, one that is nearly eating elliot alive as he thinks that she could just get off of her spot on his bed, walk out the door and remove him from her life forever, believing in the curse that elliot was so terrified of. his heart was thudding in his chest, nearly about to beg her to say something and break the lull that had started. he stays silent, and instead, adisyn licks her lips, looks down at their hands touching, and shakes her head very slowly. 

“eli... i don’t think you’re cursed.” adisyn says sweetly, uncrossing her legs on the edge of the bed and swinging them back and forth slightly. “i hope one day you don’t think you’re cursed. i hope one day you can celebrate your birthday and feel good about yourself when you do it... i’ve only been talking to you for a week, and even i know that you really are something worth celebrating.” she tries to prove to him, holding both of his hands tightly in her own. their eyes are locked, and for the first time in his life, there’s this warm, gooey feeling in his heart. he thinks she’s done speaking, but to his surprise, she goes on: “curse or no curse, i am not going anywhere, elliot cameron. i’m sticking around, risking the odds -- and, i’m going to prove to you that you are in no way cursed, okay?” 

it’s enough to make him believe her, which even surprises himself. adisyn releases her grip on his hands and extends her own out, inviting him in for a much needed embrace. it lasts for what feels like a lifetime, the boy holding onto her like she’s a lifeline, because at the moment, it feels like she really is. her shoulder is nearly covered in his tears, but she really doesn’t mind, feeling like their relationship is going in an incredibly honest direction, though it would mean that soon enough she too would have to open up about the dark things that happened within the gray manor. when the embrace finally comes to an end between the two of them, and when they’re apart, elliot instantly misses the feeling of being close to her. swallowing hard, the boys eyes flicker between hers and her lips, wondering if this is really the right moment to be having his very first kiss. 

“i’m really, really glad you’re here, addie.” elliot says honestly, biting on his bottom lip. “i... really do loathe today, and... i’m not someone that likes presents -- at all, on any occasion... but there is something i would like from you for my birthday...” he’s fighting a smile, wondering if she’s thinking the same thing he is, noticing her own eyes on his lips. 

“what’s that, eli?” adisyn says innocently, batting her long eyelashes and cocking her head to the side, her ponytail bouncing as she does. 

“maybe... i could kiss you?” he suggests, and adisyn gray’s face lights up like he’s never seen before, though she instantly tries to hide it, a red blush appearing on her cheeks. elliot is grinning as well at her reaction, clicking his tongue. “i’m taking that as a yes?”

“yes, yes! very much yes.” she agrees, grinning in his direction.