- ̗̀ 𝓈𝑜𝒸𝒾𝒶𝓁 / 𝕤𝕦𝕚𝕔𝕚𝕕𝕖

                           ❝Not  one  ounce  of  that  sounds  appealing  or  interesting  to  me  in  any  form.  It  all  sounds  quite  awful  and  terrible,  actually.❞  Shoulders  found  themselves  lifting  in  the  smallest  of  shrugs  as  the  other’s  words  drifted  through  her  mind,  circling  in  an  attempt  at  somehow  making  sense  in  some  way.  ❝I’m  sure  he’ll  find  someone  that  can  handle  it  or  he’ll  evolve  and  change  over  time  with  different  situations,  or  he  won’t  and  something  else  will  happen.  Life  has  a  funny  way  of  putting  you  on  different  paths,  I’m  sure  he’ll  be  just  fine  and  he  won’t  turn  out  to  be  some  crazed  serial  killer,  hopefully.  Though  I  could  be  wrong  and  he  could  be  the  next  high-profile  killer  everyone  is  terrified  of,  who  knows.❞  Attempting  to  be  as  casual  as  possible  when  it  came  to  her  joke  was  certainly  difficult  but  she  still  attempted.  ❝I  think  I’ll  have  to  pass  on  that  idea.  I’m  alright  with  avoiding  everything  that  has  to  do  with  dating  or  creepy  people  on  some  weird  application.  Not  my  cup  of  tea.❞

rolling her eyes almost immediately, ellie let out an audible huff. “you’re such a buzz kill sometimes, dev. you know that. right?”, she hummed before leaning forward on the table in front of her propping her chin on her hand. “fine. tell me what you prefer to do to find some interesting people around here that aren’t all business, already married, have an excessive amount of baggage, or are all around boring.”, she questioned while raising a brow and beginning to look at the menu in front of her. “you’re serious, huh? there’s not even one tiny ounce of you that misses the dating scene?”

                           The  explanation  hit  and  it  was  enough  for  her  to  shake  her  hand  out  in  the  air  and  for  her  to  push  back  into  her  seat.  ❝Nope,  nah,  no,  that  sounds  crazy.  I  think  I’ll  stick  to  my  pizza  and  my  work,  I'd  rather  die  alone  than  deal  with  something  like  that.  I  don’t  understand  how  you  or  other  people  manage  to  deal  with  that  kind  of  thing.❞  Her  head  shook,  sure  she  probably  looked  like  a  wet  dog  trying  to  dry  off  for  the  moment,  up  until  she  finally  relaxed.  ❝That  sounds  freaky,  El.  Like  some  story  before  the  actual  horror-movie-murder  bullshit  right  there.  Which  is  probably  overdramatic  but  you  always  hear  about  these  small  rejections  that  sound  minimal  but  they  lead  to  these  terrible  outcomes  and  I  can't  imagine  it.  Can’t  imagine  how  freaky  he  would  have  been  in  person,  now  that  I  think  about  it.❞

:i have to admit, i do feel kind of bad about it now that it’s done and over with but at the time it was just such a sense of deja-vu like i was actually living in the YOU universe or something and i was already planning my great escape from the plexiglass box.”, she shrugged with a laugh. “usually it’s not that bad, i swear. you just get called a bitch for having a life and not replying immediately and then they find out who you are and come crawling back and you can basically manipulate them into doing whatever you want as an apology so it can definitely be kind of interesting at points.”, the blonde continued trying to justify herself to the other across from her. “that’s all i could think about. but now i’m just trying to figure out if he’s going to end up alone because of that one rejection or not.”, she added with a laugh. “you should sign up some time, it’s fun. most of the time.”

                           Eyebrows  were  hugging  against  her  features  as  colors  scanned  the  area  around  her  as  if  that  would  somehow  explain  the  rambled  story  that  had  filled  her  ears.  ❝A  stage  five  clinger?  There  are  stages?  I’m  so  confused  right  now.  What  are  the  other  stages?  What  happens  in  the  other  stages?  I  have  no  many  questions  and  I’m  not  getting  enough  answers  or  explanations  here,  Ellie.  Is  there  some  book  on  this?  I  need  directions  and  information  on  this,  I’m  apparently  behind.❞  A  hand  had  raised,  fingers  gently  scratching  at  the  skin  of  her  neck  as  she  rambled  on  with  her  questions  in  some  attempt  at  understanding  what  had  happened  and  what  was  going  on.  ❝It’s  not  very  nice  to  laugh  at  him,  though.  I  hope  you  didn’t  actually  laugh  while  he  was  on  the  phone.❞

“yeah, there are stages and a stage five is almost as bad as it gets.”, ellie answered almost immediately with a laugh escaping her lips. “a stage five is like ... they act all innocent and shit one minute and then all of a sudden you’ve ruined their lives and they’re pissed off at the world and honestly i thought the guy was going to come find me and that there was going to be no more ellie schwarz, devin.”, she continued while shaking her head. “the other stages aren’t nearly as bad it’s like a 0-100 type of thing. after they pass stage five they’re just nuts and classified as a psychopath.”, she hummed with a shrug of her shoulders. “i tried so hard not to, i swear i did. i think i may have hung up before her heard it, but he went crazy. we didn’t even go on an actual date or anything. we had just talked on the app and then he was giving me weird vibes so i tried to unmatch him and he found me again somehow and i didn’t know what else to do. who cries over someone they haven’t even actually met refusing to go on a date with them? i would’ve much rather preferred him getting mad and calling me names.”

“Tinder. Yikes.” Lizzie was not a fan of that dating app. She had tried it once and it was crawling with disappointments or socially not acceptable to date people or plain fuck boys or potential serial killers. She had deleted it and never went back. She was not an app person anyway. “ So rude. Awful story.” Really not an incentive to get back to the virtual dating scene. “ Perhaps you should take a break from tinder. ” That would prevent similar situations to happen once more. “ Look at you, you don’t need an app to meet people.”  Ellie was gorgeous and surely she could find suitors anywhere. 

shrugging her shoulders, the blonde let out a small laugh. “you can’t let one bad apple ruin the whole batch, liz.”, ellie mumbled before offering a small smile. the petite girl was internally gagging at herself for sounding like a bad talk show point line with the last comment but having it already been said, she shook it off. “plus, sometimes you match with a nice person and they send you money and then you magically become unmatched and $400 richer.”, she added with a small smirk with a small trace of sarcasm in her voice. “stop it, you’re too nice. it’s not the whole meeting people aspect though, it’s meeting different people. y’know? instead of the same old boring james who just signed at your marketing company.”. the blonde rambled before beginning to twirl her hair out of habit.

            ‘  how  could  you  have  done  that  without  knowing  that  you  could  have  potentially  ended  up  in  some  weird  joe  goldberg  type  of  situation  ?  ’  celine’s  head  tilts  ,  fingers  messing  with  the  metal  straw  between  them  .  there  was  a  reason  why  she  avoided  dating  apps  like  they  were  the  black  plague  ,  and  it  had  more  to  do  with  the  fact  that  she  wouldn’t  trust  internet  personas  with  a  ten  foot  pole  .  and  she  had  a  habit  of  thinking  she  was  too  cute  for  one  in  the  first  place  .  ‘  i’m  not  entirely  sure  what  a  stage  five  clinger  is  ,  but  what  i  do  know  is  that  you  never  trust  a  man  who  you  have  to  explain  anything  to  .  either  they’re  gonna  get  it  when  you  say  it  or  they’re  never  gonna  get  it  all  .  welcome  to  men  aren’t  shit  101  .  ’

“unfortunately, i think i may have found a real life joe. so if i come up missing, i want you to make sure that everyone knows that i didn’t leave on my own free will and check every single library basement for glass boxes. got it?”, the blonde replies with a laugh escaping her lips. “a stage five? they’re almost the worst ones out there. there are 7 levels. he hasn’t gotten to level 7 yet but it’s only been about 12 hours.”, she huffed with a small smirk. “i didn’t want to have to deal with going out to find someone to have sex with and didn’t want to call up my usual person so alas here i am, out doing exactly what i didn’t want to do.”, she popped her lips with a raise of her hands. “i may need to schedule a weekly meeting for this class of yours, cel.”

    “ ew , “ was all she could respond with , air forcing out through her nostrils at an attempt of laughter. “ did you two even like , go out ?  or did he become a stage 5 clinger by knowing you through text ?  because like , it’s WEIRD but it’d be even weirder if you guys never even went out , “ she explained , staring at the other with curious eyes before glancing down at the menu that was put in front of her. silence ensued for a moment as she scanned through the laminated book , a soft sigh falling from her lips. “ don’t feel bad , el. he was probably a weirdo. i mean , who gets ATTACHED so quick ?  weirdos , that’s who. “

“no we barely even talked on the app itself. we literally only matched last week and it’s like ... he went all joe from you.”, she retorted with a laugh. “he actually sent me a message the other day saying that he liked my outfit that day. and we weren’t even talking that day let alone do anything where he would’ve been able to see me.”, the blonde shook her head while raising an eyebrow. “i don’t know man, maybe it’s time to delete this app because if this guy’s this distraught over one person he’s never actually met ditching him i don’t even want to know what happens when you actually go out with someone and decide to pass. fucking weirdos man.”