ellhah

As I dust off my luggage, I'm realizing at the age of 25...this is my first real vacation as an adult. An all-inclusive, no meetings, hot weather, beach bum, no cellphone reception...vacation. This is what people look forward to...but this concept of not being productive is terrifying.

I haven't been on a "vacation" since my childhood. Sure, I've been to South Africa and made my way around the United-States, but those weren't vacations. It was everyday living. Everyday networking. Going to the grocery store with family or having meetings does not constitute a vacation.

I went through 5 years of university without a spring break trip to all-inclusive destination. Instead, I worked 30ish hours weekly for the head office of a finacial institution, while holding down two majors and an internship. And the times I did leave to go somewhere, it was never for more than four days, and there was always an end-goal. Always.

As the world is a looking glass, reflective of both our failures and triumphs, it’s always a learning experience looking back at the year. I can’t say 2013 was easy, but I can say I’ve learned many lessons… self-reflective lessons, that hold more value than any tangible object could. 

Right as the clock struck midnight last year, my year started by receiving a malicious email from somebody’s ex-girlfriend. That email was a part of a continuous string of emails that were sent to me, and I had to make my first choice: 1) channel my inner 16-year old girl and attack this woman or 2) choose not to respond, point blank, period. After writing an email, I swiftly pressed delete, and moved on. I don’t know what happened to her, but it was that moment that I realized there’s something to this ‘never put negative energy into the universe.’ 

I met someone earlier last year that continously reminds me of that concept… be positive, seek truth, and appreciate yourself. He may not know it, though I remind him often, you’ve inspired me to grow into a woman I didn’t know I was allowed to be. Because of you, I also found the balance between security and growth, desire and fulfillment, ambitions and dreams.     

Throughout the year, I’ve come across people, places and situations that have challenged my personal limitations and guided my new freedoms. It’s not to say they were all great experiences, but every experience is solidified by a lesson, right? 

Without a doubt in my mind, 2013 was a year of developing personal power, understanding my truths, and exploring my freedoms. I’m not perfect, but I know I’m powerful.