bimbo rights activist

cowboys are to pirates what werewolves are to vampires

pesto is a little green goop that makes you go crazy 

pesto make u lose control

I am against all misinformation except the conspiracy theory that Queen Elizabeth II is already dead and they're covering it up because it's extremely funny

why do i want to quit every job i start lmao

Hot girls shouldn't work

tea...... what im doing is sick nd unnatural

it’s easy to mock the concept of batman’s secret identity and think it’s ridiculous that nobody would realize that he’s bruce wayne but if some lady suddenly showed up late at night dressed in full military grade kevlar and started fighting crime in los angeles i wouldn’t look at that and think “ah it’s kylie jenner”