thanks for being born

according to biblical apocrypha the only time lazarus smiled after being resurrected was when he saw a game of league where the rammus jungle ganked bot at 40 seconds, causing him to laugh and say "the clay ganks the clay"

"I know not with what weapons Overwatch 3 will be fought, but Overwatch 4 will be fought with sticks and stones." - Winston

ever since they banned ninja swords in london now phone snatchers have to simply use their ninjutsu to aid in phone snatching, which has ironically made the problem much worse as you're often targeted by lads using shadow clones or they straight up just rasengan you like fuck off

titjob from a girl with huge tits

is this anything

thighjob from a girl with huge thighs

i can't be the only one to have imagined these things

handjob from a girl with huge hands

being a trans girl feels like being the person who has to explain the rules of the board game to everybody but for everything in your life. including explaining the rules of board games.

you know i used to be a starship? yeah a real big one too. called something like ‘vision of venus’ or ‘face of eros’, i can’t really remember now. they had me hauling mobile refineries and the like. but i guesssss i joked about venting everyone out the airlocks a couple dozen too many times and they had me reassigned. now i make drinks! 😊 would you like that small medium or large?

That was supposed to be the fucking Sherlock image

im imagining the DJ like joyfully bouncing around and they have a button that makes the coin sound and theyre pressing it a bunch of times randomly and they dont even notice anyone leaving until the last persons gone and they get all sad and put their headphones over one ear and cleanly transition it to the game over sound