elina jacobs

maya’s head perks up at the sound of her mom’s voice but eyes still looking at elijah as she plays with his face. “i’ve never realized how much i relied on staff before; it’s absolutely impeccable that i can recite anything in medical knowledge and history but i can’t cook.” he brushes his fingers through his hair, “not to mention, i have no contacts and my glasses will succumb to maya’s wrath in a matter of minutes and i swear being a privileged child has made me useless.”

she shook her head with a soft laugh. “what were you trying to make?” while directing the question to him she used both her hands to wave at her daughter, “hi baby come to mama!” pulling her away from Lie was a task, but once her hands found her hair she was captivated. “you never learned how to cook?”

“ i don’t get it, elina. ” he pauses, looking down at her. “ how can you be so calm letting me into her life? you could’ve picked anyone in the world and i’m the one standing here. ” he takes a deep breath, trying to stabilize his nervousness. “ a lot can go wrong, you know. one of my contacts can drop out of my eye and i’ll be half blind. unsafe. ”

she listened to him ramble on, internally gushing at how cute it actually was. “i could’ve picked anyone yes but you’re the only one who deserves to be here.”

            “yes, well, i do have that effect on people.” he retorted with a smug grin. “well elijah is a stone cold bitch. i could talk some sense into him, if you want me to? i can be very persuasive. that and i’ve got so much time in my hands i don’t know what to do with it.”

she scoffed, her voice full of teasing, “oh really? because if i remember correctly you’re the one that keeps coming back for more.” eli tried to say no to the offer but caved, “maybe just find out what’s going on? and see what he’s really thinking?”

“ i’m going to be honest with you, elina. my heart is palpitating at a rate that would be considered dangerous, ” he says softly, letting her pull him into the place. “ i could have a heart attack at any moment. the only kid i’ve dealt with in my life was mishka and he hates me now. ”

“then it’s a good thing i know how to treat that.” slowly leading him towards the room she stopped in the middle of the hall, resting a hand on his cheek and gave him a soft smile. “you’ll be fine, i promise. i believe in you.”

           “oh c’mon, eli.” he sighed, aware of how true her statement was—is. “you know i did love you back then, and still, the circumstances just wasn’t right for us.” he rolled his shoulders nonchalantly. “hmm, well… the solution is really easy. do you love him? does he love you back? does he love your kid? if you check all those out of the checklist, then you guys should just fuck it out and just date already.”

“i think some small part of me does still love you.” she mused softly before laughing. “of course i love him, i love him so much it hurts. i don’t know how he feels about me or maya. it’s not easy to get anything out of him.” 

“ i said i wanted to fix things so here i am ” he’s waiting for his impulses to kick in and say something stupid. “ are you sure about this? ” there it was.

reaching forward to take his hand she nodded and dragged him into the house. “i’ve never been more sure of anything.” she went through a mental checklist, letting him in on a key detail. “if she cries, it’s not you, it’s because i disrupted the peace.”

       “hypothetically speaking,” he paused. “would it be crazy to say that i love all these girls—you’re telling me i allegedly have—equally? you know… polyamory is a thing… but again, this is all hypothetical… of course.” he waved his hand in dismissal. “eh, you know what forget it. you said complicated? how complicated? because trust me, i know complicated.”

she rolled her eyes at him, “if you loved all of them equally as you say you do, this includes me.” elina smiled, knowing she would catch him here, “and if you really loved me then we wouldn’t be a secret.” she waited a beat to soak in his reaction to her words, loving every second of it. “and complicated as in this guy and i have only ever been hook ups, but we might as well have been dating by the way we act, and let’s not forget he’s the father of my kid.”

       he’d been expecting this sooner or later, though that didn’t make it less of a surprise. “well, okay. yeah, sure. if you really want to.” he nods his head slowly, a little bit hesitant, but he wanted to support her decision a hundred percent. “it’s actually five, but hey, who’s counting? not me.” he scoffed, laughing almost. “okay, but if it’s not me. then it’s you? or if there like… i don’t know… someone else? god, that conversation is really… awkward.”

“right your girlfriend, your wife, your dirty mistress, the girl you’re in love with, and one i can’t seem to remember.” she dropped her head a little when he mentioned someone else, a dead giveaway. “it’s a little more complicated than that.” 

           he pulled back the minute she snapped. “what’s wrong?” he tilts his head to the side, brows knitting together in confusion. “did i do something wrong? are you having a cramp? a little hungry? need a break? feeling dehydrated? what’s wrong eli?” he scooted over to give her some space to breathe.

she let out a soft laugh, “no no i’m fine i just...” she takes his face in her hands, trying to soften the blow that should’ve been coming for ages now. “i don’t think we should do this anymore.” elina said that as nicely as she could, not wanting to seriously disrupt anyone here. “and it’s not you.. and your four different significant others, it’s something i have to do.”

everything about what they were doing was almost perfect according to standard. his hand placement, the whispered dirty talk, the dark red marks she left on his neck, the urgent kisses he left down hers. perfect. good. great even. but something felt wrong. she kissed him, holding on to the feeling of his lips on hers, before trying to catch his attention, “ol- stop-” pulling her body back from him she dropped the full name in attempts to get him to stop, “ollivander.”

“if you ever think your life is hard, just know that yesterday some guy took a piss in my money bucket when i was busking. if my sister asks, tell her that i fought him off and chased him down the street. in reality, i did what every single person in every single horror movie ever should’ve done straight away. i got ran, i got O - U - T out. i was scared he was gonna piss on me next.”

she sat there with her jaw open the entire time, genuinely amazed at people’s respect, or lack thereof. “if you remember anything about him, anything at all, tell me and i’ll have this entire thing fixed.” eli laughed her threat off, “i know people.”

“ that’s more than enough time. ” he responds breathlessly before picking her up and plopping her on the nearest thing. a hand moving to her cheek cause what were the odds they’d be at the beginning of the cycle again.

“stop looking at me like that and kiss me.” she says and wraps her arms around his neck. she hooks her ankles around him, keeping him close to her. everything about it felt right, but how the hell did they end up back here?

its been what, a week maybe two since she’s told him that she loved him.  he doesn’t know why he’s here trying to fix things but it was as if his impulses were telling him to do it. “yeah.” he responds after she kisses him, giving her this look of lust. the same look that started it all for the two of them.

after she kissed him her entire body burned for his. the only prolonged period of time they hadn’t seen each other was, well when she was pregnant with maya. the look he gave her made her weak in the knees. elina’s hands held on to either side of his face, pulling him down to her again. in between kisses she mumbled out, “next class starts in thirty minutes.”