turn your heart this way

Avi pressed his lips together very firmly to avoid snapping at Eli’s initial response. But Eli was smiling, so he couldn’t very well be upset about it. Besides, Eli had a nice smile––was that so weird to think? Avi didn’t think so. “Makes me wonder how many ‘guitar teachers’ you’ve hired so far,” he said with a smile, easing back into a place of semi-comfort. But Avi didn’t want to overstay his welcome. “You’re alright, Eli,” he said. “And now it’s your turn to be flattered,” he added, making it clear that his compliment was a rarity. He took a step back, thinking it was probably time to go, before things got too chummy. “If you ever need another ‘guitar lesson’…” he made air quotes with one hand, “…then you have my number.”

Eli just shrugged at his question with a mischievous smirk on his face. The actual answer was zero, but it was more fun this way. His smile turned softer and more genuine at Avi’s comment, it was becoming increasingly clear to him that Avi really was a sweet guy that just had trouble expressing himself, at least when it came to things that made him feel vulnerable. Eli understood that. He resisted the urge to sarcastically ask Avi if he was asking him on a date, he just nodded, his smirk returning as he said, “See you then.”

Well, Avi had never meant to make the guy feel bad. Part of him indignantly yearned to head straight for the door, but the other new, budding mature part of his brain reminded him that Eli had just been trying to make conversation. He let Eli leave the room, then pulled on his own clothes and headed out to follow him. Leaning on the doorway, Avi crossed his arms over his chest and said, “If you don’t ‘do this kind of thing’ very often, then I guess I should be flattered.” He meant it genuine. He’d met plenty of pretty people that he’d flirted with but had turned down a one night stand just because they didn’t ‘do that kind of thing’. 

He noticed Avi come into the room and turned the other way to pretend to mess with the oven, not wanting to look at him. Imagine his surprise hearing Avi’s voice from behind him. “Oh, are we talking again? This isn’t too much for you?” The smile on his face made it clear that despite his sarcasm, he was glad Avi had decided to stay. “And yeah, you should be flattered, I don’t fuck just any guy I hire to teach me guitar.” He continued making dinner, battering chicken he was going to fry. Normally he would ask Avi if he would like to stay for dinner, but Avi had made it very clear he had testy boundaries. 

Kathryn stood in the corner, feeling a little awkward about waiting by herself. In a busy city being alone didn’t matter, but in a small town people seemed to judge. She couldn’t help but be incredibly thankful when she saw Eli walk into the building. “Well, there are a few different spicy options. I’m not sure if any of them will try to kill us though.” Kathryn replied, letting out a small laugh.

Avi didn’t bother to tell Eli that makeup was expensive and he didn’t spend unnecessarily unless it was for cigarettes or music-related. He didn’t have a great salary, and he hadn’t come into Devinstone with a lot of money to his name, considering school debt and a failed music career. So he just smiled and shrugged off the suggestion, figuring he’d come up with some other way to hide the hickeys.

Avi wasn’t sure he liked Eli’s response. The guy seemed comfortable about talking about emotions and stuff, but Avi wasn’t. “Well, aren’t you the model citizen,” he said, trying to keep the bitterness out of his tone. His fingers twitched idly. Damn, he really wanted a cigarette. “Look, I’m not really interested in a heart to heart, so…” He wasn’t sure what Eli wanted from him. It’s not like this had been anything more than a one-time thing, after all…

No matter how hard Eli tried to be indifferent, part of him still hurt from Avi’s response. I know what this is, you don’t have to be such a fucking dick about it. My fucking apologies for trying to have a conversation. But he didn’t say anything, just started putting on his clothes so Avi wouldn’t see his face. It never came easily to him, hiding his emotions, and right now was no different, he knew his embarrassment and anger was clear on his face. “You know where the door is.” There was no attempt to hide the bitterness, besides maybe a somewhat aloof sarcastic tone that made it that much worse. He yanked on his shirt and left to the kitchen, he started to make dinner because he really needed to distract himself right now. 

Okay, so maybe Avi hadn’t mentioned it. He didn’t make a habit of telling every person he met that he taught high school. It sort of brought the “cool factor” that he had going down a few notches. “Right, ‘cause I just have makeup lying around at home,” he said with a snort. Avi hadn’t worn makeup since the last time he performed with his old band, and even then, it had just been eyeliner. 

He felt strange about Eli’s question. Did the guy expect him to pour out his emotions, or something? He picked at a loose thread at the hem of Eli’s sheets, suddenly acutely aware of how naked he was. “I dunno, man, what can I say? Feelings are messy, y’know? Why not just go no-strings-attached and be done with it, so you don’t get hurt or some shit?” He wasn’t sure why he phrased every sentence like a question. Nobody had asked him anything like that in a long time, so he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to respond. 

“I think most stores have a whole section for that kind of thing.” He hid a creeping smile, trying not to be too pleased at his own sarcasm. In high school Eli had all but displayed his hickeys whenever he got them, part of his whole rebellion phase. In more recent years, he’d gone with the foundation route, having a job and responsibilities kind of shut down wearing your sexual experiences on your neck. 

Eli was really comfortable discussing emotions, even with a complete stranger he just slept with. “Yeah, I totally get that, I was like that for a long time.” Obviously he wasn’t against sleeping with a stranger once and never seeing them again, but he also had had many long-term relationships in the last couple of years. “I guess I just got more sentimental as I got older, I hardly ever do this kind of thing anymore.” 

It always ended up that no matter how hard Eli tried, he was always late. This instance wasn’t that bad, only ten minutes late, he’d done much worse. He hustled into the restaurant, searching for Kathryn. When he laid eyes on her, he crossed over to her quickly, looked frazzled but still with a smile on his face. “Sorry to keep you waiting.” He sat, glancing at the menu before looking back up at her. “Anything look promising?”

It was more a statement muttered to himself than to Eli. Avi hadn’t meant to alarm him. Though he did think it was kind of funny (cute, even?) at the way he got so dramatic over it. But Avi wasn’t the kind of person who condoned cheating, either, so he clarified. “God, no,” he said, laughing a little to keep it light-hearted. “I teach high school, man. You know how it is; being respectable ‘n shit. For the kids.” More like for the sake of his income. 

“Besides,” he added, leaning back against the pillows and stretching his arms back to rest behind his head. “I don’t really do relationships.” He hadn’t tried dating seriously since high school. Maybe a few single dates here and there since then, but nothing that ever progressed past that.

Avi said that like he should have known, Eli thought back and tried to remember whether he had said anything about being a high school teacher. He vaguely wondered how much older Avi was than him, but that didn’t really matter. His grimace cracked into a smile and his cheeks went red from how he reacted. “God, don’t stress me the fuck out like that.” He laid back down, trying to relax again. “You can cover hickeys with foundation.” 

It wasn’t clear to Eli how he should react to that statement, it felt kind of pointed. “Is there a reason behind that?” It was genuine curiosity, but Eli was concerned how it would come off. If Avi was trying to tell him that this was a one-time thing, he was a little embarrassed he had felt the need to do so. When you hire someone to come over and teach you to play the guitar and end up fucking, it’s pretty clear that’s all it’s ever going to be, he wasn’t naive.

Avi almost recoiled at Eli’s touch, but didn’t, though he felt himself tense at the contact. He wasn’t the cuddling type of guy. He wasn’t in a rush to leave, but it wasn’t like he knew Eli. In fact, they were practically strangers, and he was okay with that. 

Still, Avi found himself laughing at Eli’s joke. “Yeah, fair deal,” he agreed. He playfully slapped Eli’s hand away from his neck, realizing how much trouble he’d be in at the school if his students noticed he had hickeys. What was he, 16? He touched one of the spots on his neck gingerly. “I am gonna get in so much trouble,” he muttered. He wasn’t sure if Eli knew that he was actually a high school teacher. He probably hadn’t mentioned it. 

So, Avi didn’t want to be touched. From the slight tension when Eli touched his hip to the playful slap, he had made that much clear. Which was fine, this was a one-night (one-day?) stand and Eli shouldn’t have invaded his personal space. This whole thing was casual, just for fun. Until Avi made an off-hand remark about how he was going to be in trouble.

He sat up so he could see Avi’s expression, fear and slight anger covering his own. “Trouble with who? Are you with someone?” Panic flooded his body, he couldn’t imagine a situation in which a grown-ass man would get in trouble for having hickeys, unless that grown-ass man was otherwise involved. 

It would have been hard to miss the scars on Eli’s chest. Avi didn’t really mind, it wasn’t like he was very picky about who he slept with. He had never been with a trans person before, but he assumed that the basic mechanics stayed the same. He found himself grinning at the way Eli got up to close the door––he had half a mind to be cheeky and tell him he didn’t mind if it stayed open, but he held his tongue. There were better uses for it, after all.

Avi slumped back against the pillows, listening to the thump thump thump of his own heart beating out of his chest. He didn’t say anything for a moment, just rearranged the sheets so that he was partially covered to give him some dignity to his nakedness. One foot dangled lazily off the side of the bed as he stared up at the ceiling. For someone who liked to talk, Avi never quite knew what to say afterwards. “That was fun,” he opted to say, and laughed out a sigh, hoping it had been as good for Eli as it had been for him. Then he swore loudly and turned over onto his side so he could look at Eli. “I just realized you fucked me out of my money. This was supposed to be a job for me, y’know.”

It was cute, watching Avi recover and cover himself up. Most people he had been with started getting dressed as soon as they were done, it’d been awhile since he’d gone through the whole ‘was it good for you’ cuddly after part. He chuckled at Avi’s statement, nodding in agreement. “There are worse ways to spend an afternoon.” 

When Avi turned on his side, Eli rested his hand on his hip and rubbed little circles in it. He was feeling affectionate, but really didn’t want to make this a big emotional thing, being with Avi was most likely a one-time thing and he wasn’t comfortable being that vulnerable with someone he probably wouldn’t see again. He redirected his attention back to Avi when it was clear he was supposed to respond. “Exchange of services, my friend. You teach me one chord, I fuck you. Fair enough deal.” His hand wandered to the hickeys dotting Avi’s neck, stroking them softly. 

Avi vaguely remembered that his guitar was propped up against the side of the bed, but he couldn’t be bothered to move it to a more secure position; not that he thought things would get so wild as to knock the thing over, but he could dream. He decided to just hope for the best––he didn’t currently feel like detaching himself from Eli long enough to fix it. 

He let the current of desire take him where it may, and found his hand sliding under the hem of Eli’s shirt. He pulled back from Eli’s lips only a moment to utter the question, “You sure ‘bout this?”, before reattaching himself to the other man’s neck, giving him the opportunity to answer and a reason not to say no. He was fairly certain what the response would be, but he always had to ask, just in case.

With Avi’s hand under the hem of his shirt, he broke away from Avi’s lips momentarily to yank his shirt off. He tossed it, discarded like the guitar he had set down, everything pushed out of the way for the two of them. Avi’s fingers traced the scars on his chest, but he didn’t say anything and didn’t seem to mind. This relieved the annoying but realistic part of Eli’s brain that still worried that people he was with would care that he was trans. 

Eli had some sort of snarky response he was coming up with before the man started kissing his neck and he lost all semblances of sarcasm or wit. “Yeah, uh, I’m sure,” he managed to get out between ragged breaths. He once again broke away just for the obnoxious practicality of getting up to close the door that was still wide open. He not-so-gently pushed Avi onto his back and started fumbling with his belt, thanking the powers that be that he had never learned how to play the guitar.

The relief that swept through Avi at Eli’s words might as well have been described as a wave crashing on a shore. Part of him liked the bossy tone that Eli held, liked that for once he didn’t have to be the responsible adult in charge. Let someone else have the final word for once. He was fine with that.

And he didn’t hesitate, either. His hand, still warm from Eli’s hand before, found itself curling around Eli’s neck, and Avi tugged him closer. He pressed his lips to Eli’s, the familiar twisting of his stomach reminding him of just how much fun it was to mess around with people. Guys, girls, he wasn’t picky; and Eli had arrived on his doorstep (or rather, he’d arrived on Eli’s doorstep) in a perfectly wrapped package just begging to be opened. He hummed against Eli’s lips, enjoying his decision to go to Eli’s bedroom immensely.

This was all so easy and natural, there was no bullshit or strings attached. Who knew where this would go after this was over, but for now, they were in this moment, just enjoying each other. His smirk only grew wider as Avi held him by the back of his neck and pulled him closer, it broke only when Avi’s lips touched his.

It had been awhile since he had hooked up with someone, the fact that Avi was a complete stranger made it that much more exciting. Avi’s little noise was incredibly hot, Eli wrapped his arms around Avi’s waist to pull him closer. He dragged Avi’s bottom lip through his teeth, thinking in the back of his mind that he hoped his cousin wouldn’t be home for a very long time.