Elijah

I really wanna fuck in a pool. Like the possibilities are endless. My god. But it’s like. Our pool. In our backyard you feel me. Boy. Bet I be eating pussy under water. That’s some wavy next level shit. Put on my goggles. And i’m gone. That’d be some shit if i’m eating her and she’s so into it and she feels me stop and is like ” baby ? ” and i’m on the other side of the pool floating dead. I forgot I needed air. Ain’t even come up smh 

Are you alright? 'Cause I'll happily go get you a top up on the ol' meds.

me and malie are cartoon lol

Well, I hope you and your incest kink make it through the sexual wilderness that is your and Malie's relationship. 

kissing cousins lol

cartoon incest 

In the bath? 

If u want.

not really thats weird

You're together, right? You should feel comfortable talking to her. I mean, I suggested kids to Honey by going 'let's have kids.' Well, to be fair, I had to ask daily and threaten to castrate her dogs, but you know, look where we're at.

I want kids

Have you talked to Malie about it?

I still want kids.

I wouldn’t have had three kids if I didn’t want them, but you’ve got to face the facts: they’re a pain in the ass.

You can't leave me with the kids, they'll eat me alive. If I get you hot coco, will you spare my life?

Dude, are you really letting infants trick you? They can pick up play dough, so long as they don’t consume it whether through their nose, mouth, ear or asshole. 

I've had enough asshole talk for today, dude. Also, you and Sage better not be planning anything behind my back. If you cheat on me, I'll throw the kids at you. You know I will. It can't be much harder than throwing a metal pipe at a dog, and my experience in that is an A+.

its just playdoh

It's everywhere. My feet, my hair, my clothes— my nightmares. Seriously, you don't know what horror is until you see an evil play doh giant. Please help, so much play doh.

I need a medal for nursing my devil spawn back to health for a straight forty eight hours. Seriously. Have you ever had puke in your ear? No? Consider yourself fortunate. 

I don't think a medal's enough, to be honest. I'm very tempted to take Tyler out with the trash. Do you need a cloth or something? I mean, It's not like you didn't smell like puke before, but someone's gotta clean that up.

your asshole looks likes a raisin 

Sure, just ignore my suffering and talk about my asshole. I can always rely on you, bro.