if they don't like the way we are then fuck them

alternatives without harming yourself:

holding/squeezing ice.

splashing your face with water.

getting a rubber band and snapping it against your skin (this could hurt, though it’s better than other ways that people usually choose to self-harm).

take a hot shower or bath.

eat something sour. it will take your mind of the urge. (lemon, sour lollies)

massage where you want to self-harm.

get a red pen or red paint and draw/paint over where you usually self-harm.

remind yourself as to why you shouldn’t do it. (scars, harms organs, leave memories etc…)

describe what you are feeling. (is the urge/pain in your chest, fists, legs, arms, head).

killing yourself will not help. it is not a solution.

you have your whole life ahead of you. you have so many more years that you can accomplish things in. for example;

having a family.

getting married.

to watch the sun rise.

to watch the sun set.

to save someone else’s life.

finish school.

get your dream job.

to laugh.

to smile.

to go camping.

travel to new places.

to wake up every morning to the person you love.

friends.

family.

to keep that promise you made.

to accomplish a goal.

to meet your idol.

to listen to new music.

theme parks.

video games.

chocolate.

to be able to look back and say “i made it”.

what you’re going through is temporary.

in case you need to hear this:

you are loved.

you are wanted.

you are needed.

you are beautiful.

you are handsome.

you are important.

you are not alone.

you are okay.

you are strong.

you are worth it.

you are smart.

you are not a failure.

you are useful.

you are going to be okay.

———————————————————————————————————

abuse

coping

caring for yourself

domestic abuse

chat rooms

survivors chat

fort refuge

pandy’s

add/adhd

coping

coping tips for attention deficit disorder

12 best tips for coping with adhd

50 tips on the management of adult attention deficit

medication

adhd medication chart: compare drugs for add and adhd

drugs used to treat adhd/add

add/adhd medications: are adhd drugs right for you

adhd medication side effects, drug types, precautions

addiction

coping and recovery

tools of recovery: addiction coping skills

5 ways to deal with urges and cravings

after rehab: 5 ways for addicts to cope

addiction recovery

coping with urges

dealing with cravings

anger

coping

strategies to keep anger at bay

anger management: 10 tips to tame your temper

anger management: tips and techniques

feeling angry

controlling anger — before it controls you

dealing with anger

how to cope with anger

anger management: what works and what doesn’t

ten commandments of anger regulation

anxiety

coping

a list of stress relievers

identifying and managing anxiety

11 assorted anxiety tips for anxiety sufferers

how to work through feelings of isolation

tips and tricks for dealing with anxiety

anti-stress breathing tips

how to stay under control with severe social anxiety

coping with social anxiety

managing stress

how to help a friend with anxiety

help guide (therapy)

half of us

job interviews and social anxiety

dealing with anxiety

coping with test anxiety

tips for flying anxiety

grounding techniques

more grounding techniques

even more grounding techniques

mindfulness

belly breathing

living with anxiety

social anxiety disorder self help tips.

coping with flashbacks

what anxious racing thoughts are like for me

using a thought diary

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how to handle panic attacks

exploring and coping with panic attacks

10 rules for coping with anxiety and panic

tips to cope with panic attacks

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help guide (panic attacks & panic disorder)

coping with panic attacks workbook

rules for coping with panic

panic attack workbook 2

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help guide (anxiety medicine)

common medications for anxiety disorders

guidelines for medication use

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bipolar disorder and self-help

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how to deal with bipolar disorder without medication

10 ways to cope with bipolar disorder

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how to cope with depression 1

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10 tips on how to work through feelings of social isolation

8 tips to overcome loneliness

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having a bad day?

make a comfort box

10 things to do when you feel like crap

how to find a new normal in the middle of depression

you are not alone in the way you think you are

reasons to stay alive

how to stop trying to think yourself into happiness and actually arrive there

cheer me up

help guide (dealing with depression)

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281 reasons to recover

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why you must eat

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tips to stop restricting

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10 steps to bulimia recovery workbook

coping with exercise addiction

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help guide (emotional eating)

help guide (binge eating)

help guide (bulimia)

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stop hating your body

body positive zone

self care 101

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30 day self esteem challenge

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something fishy

ways of coping with eating disordered behaviors

the addiction help center

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what to do when your friend is talking about suicide

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what to do if your friend is hurting themselves

how to help someone who is suicidal

here’s what you tell someone who wants to commit suicide

tips for looking after someone with depression

friends with metal illness?

what to do when someone is suicidal

help guide (helping someone with depression)

grief and loss

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help guide (coping with grief & loss)

help guide (coping with pet loss)

help guide (supporting a grieving person)

help guide (the five stages of grief)

ocd

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additional treatment options for ocd

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a new relationship to your obsessions

how to find help for ocd

ocd: exposure therapy versus medication

cognitive therapy for ocd

chat rooms

healthfulchat

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perfectionism

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perfectionism - stress management

10 steps to conquer perfectionism

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ptsd

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self help strategies for ptsd

coping with traumatic stress reactions

post-traumatic stress - self-help guide

understanding and coping with ptsd

coping with ptsd

schizophrenia

coping

living with schizophrenia

coping with schizophrenia

schizophrenia coping and recovery

schizophrenia: coping with delusions and hallucinations

paranoid schizophrenia coping and support

treatment

an introduction to the treatment of schizophrenia

treatment of schizophrenia

drugs to treat schizophrenia

common drugs and medications to treat schizophrenia

treating schizophrenia successfully

self-harm

cut something that’s not real skin

half of us

help guide

recover your life

self-injury outreach & support

how to care for cuts

resisting cutting

25 ways to avoid self injury and prevent self harm

tips to help stop cutting

99 coping skills: things to do instead of cutting

what to do when someone sees

how to fade/cover scars

alternatives for cutting 1

alternatives for cutting 2

alternatives for cutting 3

alternatives for cutting 4

alternatives for cutting 5

self-love

how to stop putting yourself down

self confidence

how to improve your self-esteem

how to be ok with yourself

tips on self-love

confidence

learn to love yourself

when told you are not pretty

emergency compliment

lessons for self-love

suicide

coping with suicidal thought

what to do when someone is suicidal

how to help someone who is suicidal

here’s what you tell someone who wants to commit suicide

help guide (suicide prevention)

help guide (dealing with suicidal thoughts & feelings)

therapy

how to get free therapy

getting a therapist - a brief step-by-step

psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist or counsellor?

50 signs of good therapy

50 warning signs of questionable therapy

———————————————————————————————————

the quiet place

things to do when you feel bad

when you’re not having a good day

reminders

self care suggestions

take a break

the thoughts room

90 second relaxation

the dawn room

the comfort spot

control a rainstorm

calm

how to make changes in your life

imalive

crisischat

7 cups of tea

kids help phone

positive love network

trans lifeline: 877-565-8860

depression hotline: 1-630-482-9696

suicide hotline: 1-800-784-8433

lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

trevor project: 1-866-488-7386

sexuality support: 1-800-246-7743

eating disorders hotline: 1-847-831-3438

rape and sexual assault: 1-800-656-4673

grief support: 1-650-321-5272

runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

If this little book should see the light after its 100 years of entombment, I would like its readers to know that the author was a lover of her own sex and devoted the best years of her life in striving for the political equality and social and moral elevation of women.

Strange twilight joy, that you also knew all this heavy grief. Your lost friendship wanders through centuries. It calms fever’s fire. And when I fall asleep consoled, it feels as though you sat by my bed, like father, and held my hand.

If my poetry has the power,

while the House of Aeneas lives beside the Capitol’s

immobile stone, and a Roman leader rules the Empire,

no day will raze you from time’s memory.

"In Pieces but Still Holding It Together." By Bouke de Vries (2020).

If you wanna watch it I cannot recommend it enough; I just warn that it covers a LOT.

On one of these days, he finds a farmhouse of a very jittery couple who agree to let him sleep in the barn, with the conditions that he sleeps in the barn loft and if he's found, they disavow all knowledge that he was there. He agrees, because he's exhausted and will sleep in a hay pile if he has to. My grandpa manages to fit all six foot three inches of himself into a feed trough stored upstairs and tries to get some sleep.

However, right when he's half-snoozing, he hears motors outside and sure enough, here are some very angry officers of mixed Nazi and Vichy make confronting the couple saying someone up the road spotted an American soldier walking this way. They wouldn't know anything about that, would they? No, of course not.

All the while, my grandpa—now trying to figure out how to either escape the barn unseen or how to fight off six? seven? eight? people at once—freezes up and waits for the inevitable. While he does, a HUGE spider crawls next to his head and onto the loft railing. For one second, he thinks about swatting it away, but that would risk him being seen and killed.

So, instead, he lays there and waits to either fight to the death or get executed in a feed trough. And while he lays there, the spider starts making a huge web on the railing. My grandpa's transfixed by this thing. He watches her go around and around, building a solid web before plopping herself off to one side and waiting for breakfast. At the same time, the officers finally go into the barn.

My grandpa can hear them searching around, turning over crates and checking animal pens. Then, he hears one say to check the loft.

And then another say, "Don't bother. Look at the spiderwebs up there. No one's been there in a while."

And they leave.

Because my grandpa didn't swat the spider away and let her build her web, the officers thought no one was there and left him alone. They drive off and my grandpa immediately thanks the farmer couple and hauls ass out of there as soon as he can.

He comes from a very poor family. His father was an alcoholic who beat him and his mother (he once poured hot tea over her and put her in hospital several times), his brother is a drug addict, he literally built an empire out of nothing.

He credits his mother as his biggest inspiration and often has her cooking in his shows.

When he left his first restaurant he pulled a successful Jerry Maguire - the entire kitchen staff went with him. That tells you what he’s like to work with.

He was one of the first to give a restaurant to a female chef.

He went to prison (Gordon Behind Bars) and taught inmates to bake and they opened a bakery (Bad Boys Bakery) that is still running. He hired one of them when he got out.

He did documentaries about the cruelty of shark hunting and cocaine. (when he discovered cocaine was used by his staff he didn’t fire anyone but made sure they are offered treatment)

His kids are a treasure.

He is always ALWAYS kind to servers.

When one of his partners (Marcus Wareing) wanted to leave they got into a fight and settled it in court, they no longer speak to each other but this is what Marcus said about him after the fight: 

I feel bad that the first association to him for a lot of people is this shouty TV chef when he’s truly a wonderful person. 

Oh and then there’s this:

The “getting it done in an unconventional way” method.

The “it’s not cheating to do it the easy way” method.

The “fuck what you’re supposed to do” method.

The “get stuff done while you wait” method.

The “you don’t have to do everything at once” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be permanent to be helpful” method.

The “break the task into smaller steps” method.

The “treat yourself like a pet” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be all or nothing” method.

The “put on a persona” method.

The “act like you’re filming a tutorial” method.

The “you don’t have to do it perfectly” method.

The “wait for a trigger” method.

The “do it for your future self” method.

The “might as well” method.

The “when self discipline doesn’t cut it” method.

The “taking care of yourself to take care of your pet” method.

The “make it easy” method.

The “junebugging” method.

The “just show up” method.

The “accept when you need help” method.

The “make it into a game” method.

The “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” method.

The “trick yourself” method.

The “break it into even smaller steps” method.

The “let go of should” method.

The “your body is an animal you have to take care of” method.

The “fork theory” method.

“Wow that adult was being a jerk”

“That sounds really frustrating”

”Good job handling that, I would have lost my mind”

“It’s cool, I don’t expect you to remember me”

“You don’t have to hug me if you don’t want to”

“Yeah sometimes (authority figure you can’t avoid) doesn’t know what they’re talking about, it’s not your fault, just do your best”

“I don’t totally understand what you mean but I get that you’re upset, is there anything I can do?”

”Wanna go yell and break stuff with me?”

“You don’t need to be friends with that kid as long as you can still be polite”

“If an adult tells you to do something that will get you hurt, you don’t have to listen.”

“My number one goal is to keep you safe, but I don’t know everything and sometimes I’m wrong, so let me know if I make a mistake.”

“Man. Today sucked.”

“Yeah I also kinda wanna cry right now”

“Whoops, yeah, my bad”

“Wow that adult was being a jerk”

“That sounds really frustrating”

”Good job handling that, I would have lost my mind”

“It’s cool, I don’t expect you to remember me”

“You don’t have to hug me if you don’t want to”

“Yeah sometimes (authority figure you can’t avoid) doesn’t know what they’re talking about, it’s not your fault, just do your best”

“I don’t totally understand what you mean but I get that you’re upset, is there anything I can do?”

”Wanna go yell and break stuff with me?”

“You don’t need to be friends with that kid as long as you can still be polite”

“If an adult tells you to do something that will get you hurt, you don’t have to listen.”

“My number one goal is to keep you safe, but I don’t know everything and sometimes I’m wrong, so let me know if I make a mistake.”

“Man. Today sucked.”

“Yeah I also kinda wanna cry right now”

“Whoops, yeah, my bad”