Eternal dreamer

I was daydreaming

That I was swimming in the pool

Feeling alive again, that freshness of life goes through me

As a spark of million little electric pulses

Having my eyes wide open

Dreaming about dreaming

Not feeling any pain or restraints in me

Only pure joy and presence of the moment

 Why has it already ended?

Did I close my eyes and woke up to reality?

Desperately wanting to go back

But all is kind of a blur

Will there be times when I will be me again?

I am a hostage of the fear

Who let me out once in a while

To take a deep breath and look how nice life can be

When it all comes to you like before

But merely I enjoyed that little moment

It took me again

Into its despotic arms

Paralyzed in the present

Going in the circle

Want to break it so much but it seems impossible

Then it feels like an eternity

Alone with self-doubt and insecurities

Cannot laugh but cannot cry either

I fear that once

There will no feeling be left in me

I can’t really remember the days. The light of the sun blurred and annihilated all colors. But the nights, I remember them. The blue was more distant than the sky, beyond all depths, covering the bounds of the world.