oblivion

She sneaks her way into the kitchen, trying to tip-toe, but failing miserably as her heels click against the wooden floors.

And who is that she spies?

…She really doesn’t remember.

Someone stupid. What’s his name? It’s something dumb for a dumb boy. Something fitting.

Kallie unscrews the bottle of liquor and narrows her eyes at him]

Nope. Eli.

[He shakes his head, taking another bite. Maybe he should eat in the dark more often. It feels less intimate.]

You're Kaye, right? 

[Thoughtless, perhaps a happy Anthony was a more dangerous one when it came to the cost of himself. Without thought of the sting, the potato mashed sweater was gently pulled over his head.

It was a war zone on his arms, smeared in that drenched crimson from scabs opening up from bumping it. It got worse, the scars have lost their order. Curling and dancing, ‘FAGGOT’ dressing up his left forearm just to taunt himself more. Even he couldn’t help but cuss softly, using the ruined sweater even more to try and scrub away at the red- Eli. 

The sweater was tossed to the floor almost violently before he grabbed another sweater from his dresser, yanking it on. A tag in his face showed that he put it on backwards but he played it off as nothing. Anthony twisted himself around and smiled a red eyed smile that said ‘If you saw anything don’t say anything’.]

Ready to grab those sugar pills? 

Yeah, yeah. Sorry.

[He walked quickly towards the door, offering a small smile. Maybe after the other was asleep, Eli could run off what he'd eaten. No way he could sleep after eating that much.]

[Eli nodded, grinning. This was definitely gay. Maybe even gayer than falling down the stairs in drag, because now he's sober. But they're both content, and he couldn't care less about how gay it looked. Anthony acting like a fairy was better than Anthony spewing out his suicide plans. He nips at the chapped skin on his bottom lip, wiggling his fingers lightly against the other's wrist. It always made his sister flinch, and she'd never know when he'd actually go in for the kill.]

Yep, like that. 

[He had to jog a little to keep up with the backwards skipping elf he had claimed for a friend, deciding not to warn him about corners and wet spots on the floor.] Cool paranoid? Maybe they like flashing the government or something. Act like they’re doing some hardcore shit when they’re doing nothing. Nah- Stupid and optimistic go hand in hand, can’t have one without the other. 

I don't think you're stupid if you're optimistic. But maybe that's just stupidity via optimism. We'll never know, will we?

Too much? ….Too much. Right. [He swallowed hard, his throat swelling with just about every emotion out there as he finds the burn of the rubbing just a bit comforting. Gay. Faggot. Twig. Pixie. Too much. A whimper noise crawled out of his voice as he pulled a little bit on the others sweatshirt, pressing his face in further. He was too much.]

I don’t know. Never seen you pissed off or anything. Crying, sure, stupid, slow, annoyed, but never really pissed off. I don’t know if that counts as level headed, but I don’t think you are. Starting with, you can’t keep your head the right side up. Also I’m sure if you look around they’ll be a nice girl that can teach ya’.. I’m kinda useless when it comes to exercise. 

It's okay, though. You're like, my only friend. So I probably care too much about how you're doing, too.

[Eli shrugged, his hold on the other tightening so Anthony wouldn't think he was trying to slither out of his arms. He smiled against the other's shoulder, his hand just ghosting over Anthony's back. Maybe having someone care too much wasn't horrible.]

I never get pissed. I was kinda pissed when you fought Lucas. I've honestly only seen two girls walking around more than once, and I'm pretty sure one of them doesn't move much more than just going from one room to the next.

[He noticed the palms facing upwards and decided to amuse himself. It was impulsive, stupid, and even more stupid. Shifting so that he was facing the other, he slams his hands down on the open palms for no reasons at all.]

[Eli flinches when Anthony slams his hands down on his own. His face turns into one of confusion, flipping his hands around and smacking the tops of Anthony's hands. He can't help but laugh, tucking his legs underneath himself as he turns to face Anthony more.]

This is what teenaged girls do. Are we really gonna play paddy-cake?

Ya’ know. That’s even worse. Sensitive or paranoid. Sounds like I start crying at the drop of a flag. 

[Oh of course his back hit the doors, eyes closing tightly once he did. Scrambling a bit, he pushed open the door and turned back to walk forward. If anything, he was walking faster than usual, legs taking long strides to move towards their room. Anthony was just assuming the speedwalker that was his roommate could keep up.]

Optimism is blinding as hell. I like things to be realistic. Once again, that was a needle, needles are different from pills. If you call worrying about your weight and the way you eat paranoid, then yeah, you’re paranoid. But you’re like a cool paranoid, not that I like what you’re doing to yourself but- ..You get the idea. 

I think i can do cool paranoid. Better than just paranoid, I guess. I'd rather be paranoid than sensitive, I think? Sensitive just sounds really  emotionally unstable. I feel like a cool paranoid person would think that the government is watching them, but they're totally okay with it.

[He laughs when Anthony hits the door, the worry of Anthony hitting one of his wounds when he slammed against the door too small in his mind to come up. He sprints a little, ending up at Anthony's side, pulling slightly ahead of him. He turns backwards this time, half-skipping backwards down the hallway in front of Anthony.]

[The bony fingers brought him to a more alive reality, one where hugs happened along with food fights, where he shouldn’t feel the need to seek out an answer to every noise the building makes. But it’s still there. The boy sat still, only half trusting the words he heard, hands growing into claws as he tried to plant himself more firmly into the now and away from his demons. It’s been awhile since they have made him miserable. It took him awhile to actually look back down, glancing at his roommate before muttering about sharp chins and cheekbones.]

Calm, calm..Right. Whatever. 

I’m not that wrapped up in my shit, right? I mean, I care about you enough. And since when are you level headed? Third or second time I saw you, you were upside down trying to do ‘yoga’. 

No, you're not. You care a little too much, since there's nothing to really care about; but you care. You're not like, selfish. I didn't mean to say it like that. I dunno. Just because I like stretching as exercise doesn't mean I'm not level headed. Not my fault no one'll teach me how to do it. 

[Eli laughs lightly, his head shaking lightly against the other's shoulder. He wonders why he's in a place like this with Anthony. Anthony's problems were much worse than his on, and they were something he couldn't help.

[He quickly turned his head towards Eli, the smile on his face just screaming sarcasm at another death notion. It was like he was taunting him.]

You're actually just as expected to get a sunburn in the winter. But it is really nice out. 

[Eli shrugs, the palms of his hands facing upward.]

[Suddenly him chewing down on the piece of apple in his mouth was louder than before. He tried to keep from squeezing his nails against his palm too tightly. The thoughts were chewing him alive, though he wouldn’t compare them to the voices. His only friend in years was going to take away the only thing that kept a smile on when said friend wasn’t around, and then he was going to be alone for the monsters to dirty again. And again. Anthony stiffly swallowed the bit of apple and tried to ignore the piece of skin stuck in between his teeth.] 

So you’re basically keeping me around because of hugging. Great. But I know the don’t work, I swear I’ve been through every schizo med under the sun, combinations that grew with every visit, what makes you think a sedative would work on me?

[He tossed the apple into the trashbin they wandered close to, shifting on his feet to begin walking backwards to look at the other as he went ahead. It was fairly obvious he was upset.]

Fine, you're not paranoid. You're just sensitive.

[He walks alongside the other, his hands shoving into the pocket of his sweater. He pushes his stomach in with his hands, wringing his fingers against his torso. He shrugs, laughing lightly.]

Um, because when you freak out they sedated you? Also, because I have this weird thing called optimism. You should try it. 

[Eli frowns slightly as they approach the door to the cafeteria, deciding against alerting Anthony to how close he was to just hitting it. He shrugs, his lower lip jutting out slightly as he shakes his head]

[Eli turns his head towards Anthony, his eyebrows raised and his eyes squinted. That might be the most stupid thing he's ever heard his friend say.]