grisps you

TIL “Yankee Doodle” was written by the British to mock americans. “Doodle” is thought to come from the German “dödel”, meaning “fool” or “simpleton” and “macaroni,” a flamboyantly stylish type of dress, painting the Yankees as morons who thought placing a feather in one’s cap made them a “dandy.”

US moron came to town

there really is nothing better than getting asked an innocuous question and being like

idk if i told the full story on here but i signed up for a research study where they were testing a new opioid, and it was supposed to be up to 5 injections increasing the dose to see what people could tolerate

OP: After I customized my car with this wrap, it got hit four times in 24 hours because it's pink.

I booked myself in for a massage tomorrow with my physio lady cause my jaw and neck are all locked up from the dentist today and it makes you fill out a little questionnaire to better tell your PT what kind of treatment you need. except when I was filling it in I’d just taken a bunch of pain killers and words were hard but then I logged back in to make sure I’d actually booked it and

Don’t feel too bad, my physio lady was pissing herself laughing when I showed up. Everytime she tried to pull up my profile to talk about the appointment she’d devolve into hearty chuckling while apologizing continually for laughing at my expense.