Διόνυσος

Sihyun takes a sip of his coffee, the bitterness of it making him frown. He continues sipping at it, though, because he needs something to help him get through the day. It’s been more than a week since he’s dropped by the club and though he trusts his employees he’s sure once he gets there there’ll be a mountain of things for him to do. That’s why he’d decided on breakfast at a small cafe not too far from the club. He looks down at the food in front of him, unsure if he’ll be able to stomach anything other than the coffee. The amount of alcohol he’s consumed this past week is still in his system and though he’d showered and fixed his hair he still feels like a mess. With a sigh, he rubs at his temples, willing the headache he’s been suffering from all morning to go away. “If I put alcohol in this coffee, do you think that would defeat the purpose?”

      Startled, Vinícius nearly jumps off his seat when his friend starts coughing, but sits back down once Sihyun can speak normally again. Some things might be too shocking to be brought up without warning. “I’m sorry for that,” he says, laughing a little. Quickly, he straightens his back against the chair as they return to the problem at hand. “A friend, yes,” he confirms, “you don’t know him.” Vinícius doesn’t think Sihyun would ask anyone about the truthfulness of his story, but he’d rather not risk it. 

      “Yeah, I know that–” He can already feel the warmth spread all over his face. Now, he feels ridiculous. Vinícius knows why he enjoys certain things, but he doesn’t like that somebody else has to put it in words for him. Well, he asked for it. “Sometimes… my friend likes to be called ‘daddy’, but what is the difference between those? I mean, I know there are nuances, but I was always under the impression that ‘master’ suggests something more hardcore.” He sighs, ready to hide his head under the ground. “…if that makes sense.”

“No, no, you’re fine,” Sihyun waves a hand in dismissal. The question had just taken him a bit by surprise because it was coming from Vinícius, that’s all. He’s used to these kinds of conversations with his friends but for some reason, he’d thought Vinícius wasn’t someone that would ask these kinds of questions. He supposes that’s what he gets for judging a book by its cover. The next words that come out of the others’ mouth make Sihyun want to laugh but he doesn’t because he doesn’t want the other to think he’s laughing at him. The situation is just amusing.

“For some people, there isn’t a difference,” Sihyun shrugs like he’s talking about the weather. He wants Vinícius to feel as comfortable as possible but he can recognize his discomfort easily. “But you’re right. Master is often used in a more intense BDSM relationship. Not always, of course, but sometimes people will engage in a master/slave relationship with the master being the dominant one. Daddy is a less intense version of that word, though it can be used in different ways.” Sihyun rests a hand under his chin and looks at his friend. “There’s nothing wrong with any of this, though. People like different things and so long as it’s all consensual and fun then that’s what matters.”

@eleutherixs​ !

     HE DOESN’T QUITE know how to deal with heartbreak. well, he does— arlo has broken his heart many times to know the bitter taste, the heaviness in your chest, the all-consuming darkness that seeps into your skin and makes you ache. maybe it’s that he doesn’t quite know how to deal with other’s heartbreaks, and especially sihyun’s. famously, the two never really opened up to each other about anything personal in their lives and even more famously, arlo had mistakenly told sihyun that he loved him just after he found out he’d gotten into a serious relationship with a person that arlo quite admired and looked up to. naturally, he’d kept his distance because it’s hard to go backwards from that. it’s hard to go from something casual, to sleeping with that person, then telling them you love them and resorting to nothing. were they friends? could arlo even call what he had with sihyun a friendship? it’s all so complicated.

but when arlo got word of eden’s departure from the island, sihyun was the first person that came to mind. eden was such a sweet, loving individual that he was sure nothing happened between them. sihyun was so in love with him, after all, why would anything happen? but still, there was that gut instinct, just nipping at arlo’s heels that urged him to go check on sihyun. so, with a bottle of red wine in his hand, he’s knocking at the door and realizing the last time he was here was when he’d spent the night last, and he’d never been here for circumstances quite like these.

“sihyun?” arlo raises his voice in hopes the man can hear him. “hey, open up.”

The curtains in his room are drawn, the place shrouded in a darkness Sihyun has never been quite used to but has familiarized himself with this past week. It’s difficult, to get out of bed when your head feels like it’ll split at any second but he’d done it earlier to feed the dogs and hand them to the dogwalker and he does it again, running a hand through his messy hair. He’s been living his life in pajamas this past week, bottles of alcohol lining the floor of his bedroom, piled up on the nightstand as well and some clatter and fall, thankfully not breaking, as he moves around. Eventually, he’ll have to clean up, open the curtains and the windows and breathe some fresh air. Eventually, he’ll have to leave his apartment but he hopes whoever is at his door won’t make him do that now. 

He walks out into the living room and into the hallway that leads to the front door before he pauses, the voice from the other side of it making him frown. It’s been such a long time since he’s had Arlo at his front door that for a second he wonders if he’s dreaming. He ought to be, with everything that’d happened and everything swirling in his system. Still, he takes the few steps forward towards the door and opens it, chest tightening at the sight of the other. Arlo is both the first and the last person Sihyun wants to see right now and he doesn’t even know what to do with that. 

“Arlo,” he greets, smiling but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Funny seeing you here. Been a while, hasn’t it?” 

“Yeah, been there, done that. You missed out.” ( @superpcsitions )

It’s a dark morning, rainy and gloomy in the way the past few days have been for Sihyun. It’s fitting, he thinks, that his feelings would perfectly match the weather of this island he’s come to call home. He makes his way towards the kitchen wearing nothing but his silk robe and slippers, opening up the fridge to pull out another bottle of wine. It’s been breakfast lunch and dinner for him, unable to remember the last time he’d eaten a proper meal. He can’t remember the last time he’d been at the club either and that leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, or perhaps that’s just the wine as he chugs it from the bottle. Sihyun has never been this person, he’s never been one to hole himself up and let himself wallow like this but even he isn’t strong enough to pretend to be okay right now.

It’s as he’s standing there, elbows leaning against the kitchen island that he notices, on the corner of the island a bowl (?). It sits on the kitchen island, seemingly having appeared out of thin air though he can’t recall if he’d owned this before. It seems almost familiar, though, he thinks as he takes in the drawings inside. A man sits on a boat, sail open and  painted on top of the insideof the bowl are grape vines. At the bottom there are dolphins, painted in black but recognizable by their fins and snouts. Sihyun almost wants to laugh because he’s had a dream like this before only he had been the man sitting on the boat.

He puts his bottle of wine down, using the hand to trace the lining of the vase. It seems old but well preserved. It seems new and like it was just made. It seems like he’s never seen it before and it seems like he’s seen it a thousand times. The entire thing is a contradiction and Sihyun knows there’s something more to it but at a time like this, he can’t imagine caring about anything but the way his heart clenches at the emptiness of his house.

“I need to stop getting blackout drunk and bringing weird shit home,” he says to no one in particular as he picks up the vase that he’ll forget about tomorrow and places it inside one of the cabinets. Pria and Maron are watching him from where they’re lying down on the floor not too far away, as if they’re keeping an eye on Sihyun.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he tells them before picking up the bottle of wine again and chugging what’s left inside.

𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑

florian walks around the wide courtyard of the museum, cigarette between his fingers as his eyes travel up and down the walls and windows of the building. the museum really is majestic, it makes florian feel surrounded by a certain kind of familiarity. a weird way to feel like home. like the awakening of something deep inside him. he’s too distracted by his thoughts that he can’t hear the steps of someone approaching ‘till it’s a tad bit late. he can’t help but jump in surprise. “sorry,” he starts, looking at the other. “is this a non-smoking area? i’ll put this out now.”

Sihyun enjoys events such as this one, filled with culture and good food as well as alcohol. There’s something to be said as well about getting together with friends and acquaintances in a place like this one that makes an odd feeling swirl in his chest. He picks up his wine glass and makes his way to the courtyard to take a few pictures of the gorgeous flowers he’d seen there. When he arrives though, he’s pleasantly surprised to find his best friend. “Smoking,” Sihyun raises a curious eyebrow. “I think you’re fine. I won’t tell on you only if you share,” he says with a wicked smirk. He’d left his own pack at home because he was trying to quit but, well, some habits were harder to break than others. 

open !

     THERE’S NOT MUCH arlo loves more than art, yet there isn’t much else he’s good at than the classic irish exit— it’s not that he avoids social gatherings or would prefer to be home. no, that’s definitely not the case: arlo thrives off of being around others but at the same time, the boy marches to the beat of his own drum and it’s no surprise if he finds himself wandering other parts of the museum during a grand luncheon. he’d like to think he snuck out without anyone noticing and now, he wanders a smaller room with gorgeous greek sculptures, of men and women carved of white stone, no flaws to be seen. he turns and perks up a bit at the sight of another person across the room and he offers them a smile, then continues his leisurely stroll, weaving through the statues with his hands in his pockets.

“you know, i like to think they all judge us for staring,” he tells the other, nodding his head at one of the statues. he turns to it and cocks his head to the side, lips pursed. “and i wonder if they have any animosity towards zeus for getting so many statues made of himself. poseidon, athena, the staple gods. but maybe i’m just too petty and imaginative for my own good.”

Sihyun had stepped out to take a call, wandering off into the huge museum as he spoke on the phone. Work, it’s always work, of course, and by the time the call finishes he realizes he’s wandered into a room full of sculptures. For a second the entire thing is almost eerie to Sihyun, just marble statues looking like people frozen in time. He knows the story of Medusa and every once in a while when he notices a sculpture that’s particularly detailed he wonders if the story is not just a myth and she had a part in the creation of such statues. It’s a childish thought but one that makes things interesting sometimes. He stops in front of a statue of a group of women caught in what looks to be like a manic frenzy. The golden plate of information says they’re called maenads, translated as ‘raving ones’ and Sihyun chuckles. “Good for them,” he says to no one in particular. 

It’s only when he hears another voice that he turns, something tightening in his chest at the sight of Arlo. An array of emotions swirls through him, the most prominent one being the feeling of missing someone. “I think they’ve all got a bit of an exhibitionist streak, to be honest.” He looks at the nearest statue which he recognizes as Athena, goddess of wisdom. “I’d like to stay out of godly politics, but if you’d like to petition for more statues of the lesser gods I’m sure there’s a godly court somewhere you can take your case to,” he jokes. 

while phineas could have easily met his friend’s response with yet another snarky response, he chose to remain silent, his smirk still plastered across his face as he placed his feet on the table in front of them. “i don’t know if i’d go as far as that,” he mused, pausing briefly to contemplate how he wanted to proceed- still realizing it would be best not to outright insult the other’s boyfriend, especially considering he had yet to meet the other male. “but if you say so,” he finished with a shrug, it wasn’t exactly a great way to end the conversation but he figured best get out before he made a mistake. “how am i supposed to know that? i haven’t seen you in ages! you could’ve easily developed a taste for the finer things in life during that time!” he insisted, unable to resist laughing as he took a sip of his drink. “i suppose a cheese board will have to do,” he spoke with a roll of his eyes as he reached forward to pluck one of the cubes, popping it into his mouth. 

Sihyun laughs again, holding his hands up in surrender. “Fine, fine, I give up. You’re not good for my ego at all, Phineas, Jesus,” he says, unable to stop the laughter that escapes him easily. He takes the jokes in stride, though, completely aware that they’re all in jest. Well, mostly. Still, he wouldn’t blame the other for not thinking as highly of him as he thinks of himself. “The finer things,” Sihyun repeats, face dropping into a deadpan expression before he can’t keep up the facade anymore and just ends up chuckles again. “It really hurts me that you think cheese puffs are gourmet. It feels like a personal attack, almost.” He picks up a stem of grapes, picking one off and plopping it into his mouth before looking at his friend again. “So seriously, what have you been up to? What’s new? Get arrested yet?”

Closed starter for @eleutherixs​

push :   my  muse  pushing  your  muse  out  of  the  way  of  danger.

      “ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?” she exclaims. The sun is hidden behind grey clouds and rain pours down on their heads as Synnøve pushes Sihyun away from a utility pole. She’s holding her heavy coat over her head to protect herself from getting soaked. “I know you’re you, but can you, please, listen to me this one time?” She sighs and lightly smacks his arm. “Try not to get struck by lightning or electrocuted by a loose wire, because I don’t want to carry your dead body around. Thanks.”

Sihyun frowns, glaring up at the sky as if it had personally wronged him. And in a way, it had. The rain was a surprise and so Sihyun was wholly unprepared and entirely too aggravated at the rain to even watch where he was going. Thanks to Synne, he manages to escape sudden and death and he sighs. “You should’ve just let me die,” he sighs again, entirely too overdramatic as he faces the sky again, rain pelting his face. “What purpose do I have now that it’s all gloomy and rainy and cold.” And then he throws her a look. “I’m not that heavy, I think you wouldn’t really have that much trouble with me, to be honest.”

Closed starter for @eleutherixs​

      “SIHYUN…?” he calls. His tone is casual, unpretentious. He has been wanting to ask this question for a while, and he knows that if he can’t talk about it with Sihyun, then he can’t talk about it with anyone else. “You know a lot about things, right?” Vinícius has his phone in hands and the screen shows the page he carefully chose to back him up—just in case his friend decides to ask questions.

      “So, the other day I was talking to a friend of mine–” he starts, “and he was telling me about this sex thing. Apparently… some people like to be called ‘master’ in bed.” Vinícius watches Sihyun’s face, waiting for some kind of reaction. Though he’s not sure of what reaction he wants to see. Still, he continues, speaking with a disinterested expression and a slight shrug of his shoulders. “Do you know anything about that?”

Sihyun hums in acknowledgment from where he’s sat on the table next to his friend as he works on the last of the paperwork for work. He’s been paying attention to Vinícius, of course, but he also absolutely had to get this done by today so he’d taken a few minutes to complete it. “I’d like to think so,” he says, almost teasingly as he answers the other, dotting the last I on the sheet and capping his pen. Finally, he’s done with work. That makes him breathe a sigh of relief.

He then turns his attention towards Vinícius, looking at him as he speaks, bringing the teacup next to him to his lips to take a slow sip. Only the drink does not go down the right way as Sihyun, shocked and surprised, chokes. He coughs once, twice, slapping a hand against his own chest before looking at his friend with wide eyes. “Oh my god, you damn near killed me,” he says, laughing lightly once he can breathe properly again. He thinks about Vinícius words’ again and nods. “Yes, some people,” he says, his brain unhelpfully recalling multiple times in which he was one of those people, almost all of them recent and relating to one person only.

“A friend,” Sihyun raises a curious eyebrow, deciding not to push the subject but not fully believing him on that. “Well, yes. I know a thing or two. In some cases, for some people, using words like that can make a sexual experience even more,” he stops to think of the perfect word here. “—pleasurable? Sometimes, when discussed beforehand name-calling and such or this idea of possessiveness can be stimulating for some.”

@eleutherixs 

walking into the club, carmen immediately began to scan for sihyun- and not only for the promise of free drinks. she genuinely liked him, which seemed rare for her (seemed). their friendship was supportive in all the worst and best ways. but if you asked carmen, only the best, obviously. it didn’t take her too long to find sihyun and she opened with a lopsided smile, “what does a girl have to do to get a drink around here?” she paused, raising her eyebrows in a teasing manner, “i’ve been here for ten minutes and i don’t have a drink yet? it’s honestly offensive.” she shrugged, her voice pretty much a deadpan. 

Sihyun hums as he stares at the label of the drink. It’s an unfamiliar one, most likely something from the new shipment he received just the other day and the language on the bottle is not one he recognizes, some Slavic language, surely. Still, he opens the bottle and sniffs the liquor inside. It smells like a much stronger version of vodka and he takes a couple of shot glasses from the rack to fill them up so he can taste this new drink. That’s when Carmen comes into view, a wide grin spreading over Sihyun’s face as he spots her. “Carmen, darling,” he greets her, genuinely happy to see her. She is one of his favorite people, after all. “Preposterous. Absolutely disgusting. You must leave a horrible yelp review,” he jokes, pouring the liquor in the shot glasses and handing one to her. “For you, so you don’t have to go any longer without a drink,” he says, handing one shot glass to her. “I’ll be honest, I’ve no idea what it is but who better to try new alcohol with than you.”

          * ╰        THIS FEELING IS WHAT THEY MUST HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT WHEN THEY SPOKE OF RAPTURE,  eden thinks, because here in this moment it feels as though he’s transcended the sorrows of earth —— it feels as though he’s been transported into the graces of heaven. bliss floods every one of eden’s senses, and here in sihyun’s warmth, so willingly, eden drowns. “ i do believe his mouth is heaven, his kisses falling over me like stars, ” eden recites with gentle smile, pressing the ridge of his jawline into the soft and waiting warmth of sihyun’s lips —— and he focuses on this tender point of contact, letting it ground him where he lays as his mind begins to wander. “ you know —— when i was a young boy, i feared i’d never make it into heaven. ” he tells sihyun ; voice soft, soft, soft, as the divulgence leaves his lips. “ i was taught that someone like me —— people like us —— we wouldn’t be welcome there. every night i dreamt of fire, and how it burned. i’d wake up drenched in sweat and tears. ” and it’s a poignant sadness that eden is disclosing, laying the truth bare in soft glow of the peaceful morning ; but eden doesn’t feel sad as he speaks, he doesn’t feel anything but the warmth of sihyun’s lips on his skin. “ but then you came along and told me you wanted me —— you came along and when i told you that i was broken, you said you’d love every piece. ” and from the way eden speaks, it becomes clear that he’s been turning these words over in his mind since the day sihyun spoke them —— “ and now, i think we’re in heaven. heaven is every day with you. ” 

          and it’s a beautiful view, up here in heaven —— amongst the clouds, the sun warm against eden’s skin ; his eyes drinking in and pouring over the sight of all the dips and curves of the man laid down beneath him. then he hums, as if in contemplation ; a smile upon his lips which trail a line of slow kisses from sihyun’s cheek to his lips.  “ the verdict is —— ” eden begins, hues pooled with warmth and affection as his lips hover over the plush tiers of sihyun’s, “ that as sweet and delicious as you undoubtedly are —— you are not a dessert, you’re my boyfriend. my human boyfriend, whom i love very much. ” eden laughs —— “ but don’t think you’re safe just yet —— i still want to devour you all the same. ” he teases as he catches sihyun’s lower lip between his teeth, tugging gently before he soothes the bite over with the press of a kiss. 

To listen to Eden recite poetry on a beautiful morning, the sun shining upon them from the window of his bedroom, making everything glow golden feels like a dream he’d give anything not to wake up from. He supposes he won’t ever really believe this is his life now, will always think it some elaborate alternate reality his mind has conjured up. “You’re the brightest star yourself. The sun. You shine brighter than anything in the universe,” he mumbles against soft skin, lips trailing over the jawline, one hand coming up to run through Eden’s silky hair as if they are unable to go without touching him for even a second. When Eden speaks again, Sihyun’s lips pause on their path, rather just resting against’ his love’s skin while he listens to him speak. The words that come out make his heart clench and there is an anger inside of him, something humming dangerously that only comes to life when he thinks about how unfair the world has been to Eden. It’s something he won’t ever be able to forgive but now his anger is not what’s important. He listens to Eden’s words, plays them over and over again in his mind as his fingers dive in between soft strands, hoping the touch soothes the sadness the words are sure to bring about even if just a bit.

“The world has been so unkind to you, my love. Telling you lies and engraving them deep within you when it should’ve been kissing your cheeks with the beautiful truth of it all,” he whispers, once again tracing his lips over Eden’s skin. “I’m sorry they lied to you. I’m sorry they didn’t tell you that a soul as beautiful and bright as yours, that glows with an unimaginable warmth was made in heaven and so how could it belong anywhere but there?” And then a breath escapes him all at once as he realizes that Eden knows what Sihyun does as well. That this is the heaven they’ve been looking for, the one they deserve. “When I die I don’t want to be anywhere else except for floating around in the memories we made together. That is heaven for me. Anywhere with you, any second with you. That’s what paradise is to me.”

Paradise, to Sihyun, is this: Eden, sun-kissed and gorgeous perched atop him, eyes trailing over every part of Sihyun’s body and Sihyun has never felt as beautiful as he does now. Once again, his body buzzes with the warmth that comes from the love they share. “I think you’ve done incredible scientific research, Mr. Lovegrove. Groundbreaking work, I’d say,” he teases, chin tipping up just an inch to brush his lips against Eden’s for a second. “Oh,” is all he can say before his boyfriend tugs his lips between his teeth and Sihyun is lost to the desire to kiss this man once again. One hand resting against Eden’s hip, the other cradled against the side of his face as he brings him closer, his own head tilting up to follow his boyfriend’s lips, wanting nothing more than to drown in his kisses.

“I have seen it once before, and it is so inspiring to me,” he explained, looking at the preview stills. Three black women scientists and mathematicians trudging through the harsh obstacles of their era. If there was one qualm with the movie that Bastien could raise, it would be that it hadn’t come out sooner, early in his childhood. He selected the movie and set down the remote, situating himself comfortable in his seat. He brought a bite of food up to his mouth and tried it. The production credits’ sounds were no match for the exclamation of intense satisfaction Bastien then emitted, by cause of the stir fry. He was posed once again at the edge of his seat, looking at his friend with eager admiration. “Sih-yun !” he said, still chewing. “Ça goût absolument fantastique !!”

Sihyun smiles gently, genuinely excited to watch a movie that had inspired Bastien. Given how excited the other seems to be for it, Sihyun doesn’t doubt he too will love this movie. It had been a while, after all, since he’s had the chance to sit down and enjoy some form of media that’s longer than three minutes on youtube on his phone. While the opening credits start rolling, Sihyun turns to look at his friend, grinning widely at his reaction to the food. Now Sihyun would never brag but cooking has become somewhat of a talent. He’s recently gotten incredibly good at it and it always makes him so happy when his friends can enjoy any dish he makes. “Does it?” He chuckles, bringing his fork up to his own mouth to take a bite. “Mhmm, I guess it does. Only the best for you Bas.”

“I am the happiest I’ve ever been. I’ve been completely captivated by this man and am so fully in love. And there’s absolutely nothing more beautiful than being in love. It genuinely feels like you’re walking on clouds every day. I can’t believe I get to live this every day.” 

“Wow, uh. I think a hate-fuck-fest would be so incredibly interesting. So I’d have to say Valentina and Beau. Will we be fucking? Will we be fighting? The world would never know.” (@goddesscs) (@ofbeauisms)

“Spain was a completely crazy clubbing experience. Barcelona, Mallorca, Ibiza. I remember details from each night but not the entire night meaning I absolutely blacked out and that means it was a great night. And don’t get me started on Las Vegas.”